NOTE from the Phoenix: I'm in the mood to do some 'old school' SG-1 so this is somewhere around season three or so. I'm not going to go looking up everything and what order events were in so don't bug me if I get a detail wrong here or there when it comes to the 'Time Line'. The big things are that Daniel has not Ascended, General Hammond is still around, I'm thinking Carter will be a Major at this point, and the Goa'uld are still a big problem, but not a whole lot is know about them. Got it? Okay then, off we go! Enjoy!

PS- I used an on-line translator to get the Japanese in this, so forgive me if you read Japanese and it says strange things I do not speak the language myself. I want you to be as lost as the rest of the team when it comes to the Japanese. You get all you need to know from what Daniel tells the team.

One Night in Bangkok

Chapter One

"Carter, how long are you going to have to wear those glasses?"

"Another week at least, until the photosensitivity is under control."

"I told you not to touch that thing." Jack clucked.

"No, as I recall you said: 'Carter, figure out what this thing does.'. I did exactly that and found that it produces a painfully bright flash."

Sitting at a table in the commons Sam looked over her coffee cup at Jack through a pair of small nearly black glasses. They had little black leather pieces at the sides of the frames to keep light from shining in through the sides. Jack was eating some scrambled eggs but he paused as he sensed the look he was getting through the dark lenses.

"So...this is my fault?" Jack asked innocently.

"Sort of."

"Well, maybe you should sit this next mission out." Jack said seriously.

"I'll be fine, Sir."

"I was more worried about me." Jack corrected. "Being blind and all…"

"I'm not blind, in fact I see perfectly in the dark right now."

"Whatever, I'd hate for you to accidentally shoot me."

"Sir, if I shoot you it won't be an accident." Sam replied with a sweet smile.

Jack chuckled and went back to eating his breakfast. Teal'c had been sitting at the small table as well, silent observing the exchange. Glancing over at him Jack wondered if the aloof Jaffa was ever going to learn to smile. Teal'c did not notice the look he was getting an continued to eat his breakfast as though it was a chore.

"Hey, anyone seen Daniel?" Jack asked looking around. "We're due off world in like two hours."

"I think he's brushing up on his Japanese." Sam answered.

"Brushing up?"

"When you know twenty plus languages they can get rusty." Daniel announced as he stepped up behind Jack.

"Carter, I thought you said you weren't blind." Jack accused. "You let Daniel sneak up on me."

"There is a bright light in the ceiling behind you that I don't like looking into."

"I still say you're not ready for the field."

"Janet cleared me, I'll be fine." Sam said. "Besides we don't even know if there is anyone on this planet."

"Good point," Jack nodded and turned to Daniel "Daniel, how do know

what language they speak when we don't even know if anyone is there?"

"The MALP showed an arched stone bridge that looks like classic Japanese architecture…which brings me to a favour that I'd like to ask, Jack."

"Daniel, I'm not big on favours."

"I know." Daniel sighed. "I just wanted to ask you to please not embarrass us on this mission."


"If this is a Japanese culture they will have a lot of rules regarding proper manners and respect."

"You don't think I have good etiquette?" Jack asked with a look of mock indignity.

"You have not exactly shown patients for such things in the past."

"Plus you do have your elbows on the table, Sir." Sam chuckled.

Jack looked down at where his elbows were resting on the table. Making of show of removing them he crossed his hands in his lap and smiled brightly.

"Please, Jack," Daniel practically begged "if we are going to make any friends out in the galaxy we have to work on making these sorts of interactions as…pleasant for everyone involved as possible."

"Daniel, you're starting to sound like my mother during one of her 'best behaviour' speeches. Calm down."

Daniel took a breath to say more, but decided that it was a waste of time. Sam chuckled at his frustration while Teal'c, having finished his breakfast, simply watched the pair. Having said his peace Daniel felt he'd done all he could for the situation.

A few hours later the team stood at the base of the ramp waiting for the Gate to dial. Looking somewhat bored Jack double checked his weapon. When the Gate opened the team marched up the ramp and through the event horizon.

On the other side the sun was shining brightly on a beautiful spring day. The heavy scent of cherry blossoms hung in the still air around them. The lawn they were standing on was clearly care for by a loving hand and although very organic in design the garden looked like every stone and plant had been put in place by man. It was too perfect to just be wild grown.

"It's beautiful." Sam noted as she pushed her dark glassed further up on the bridge of her nose.

"Yeah, well beautiful things tend to be dangerous so keep a sharp eye out." Jack grumbled. "It wouldn't be the first time we'd been lured into a trap by well manicured lawn."

"Jack's right," Daniel agreed "we should step carefully here."

"Wait…I'm right?" Jack repeated in surprise. "What about 'let's make friends'?"

"I'm not saying we shouldn't try and be peaceful, but the carvings on that stone proclaim this to area to belong to a daimyo."

"What's a daimyo?" Sam asked.

"In feudal Japan daimyo were powerful, and very territorial lords. He may not take kindly to strangers showing up in his garden."

"Great, you could have mentioned that befo…"

"O'Neill," Teal'c interrupted "someone approaches."

Jack looked over towards the bridge and found a woman of Asian decent crossing over the round stone bridge. Her restrictive silk dress kept her footsteps small. The long sleeves had almost wing like extensions that hung nearly to the ground and flapped as she walked towards them.

"That's a furisode robe." Daniel remarked.

"What does that mean?"

"It means we are being given a very formal and practically royal welcome. She is going to come up and bow to us, it is very important that we return it. Keep your hands at your side, except you Sam, you'll be expected to clasp your hands in front of your lap. Bend at the waist to about a thirty degree angle and don't hold it more than five seconds."

"Daniel, this is too complicated." Jack grumbled. "Let's just say 'Hi'."

Daniel glared at Jack and went to say something when the woman was suddenly upon them. As predicted she gave them a deep bow with her hands in her lap. Although Teal'c and Sam tried to return the gesture Daniel was the only one who managed it with what the woman would have considered grace. Jack didn't even attempt the greeting. After taking a quick look at her guests the woman decided to speak directly to Daniel.


"Uh, Daniel, you catch that?" Jack asked.

"Yes. She says 'welcome to Bangkok'." Daniel replied and turned back to her. "ありがとうございました. Thank you."

Upon hearing her own language the woman smiled shyly and bowed once more which Daniel also repeated. Jack watched the pair as they held a long conversation that ended in another round of bowing. Jack rolled his eyes.

"Daniel, anything you wish you share with the whole class?"

"She says her name is Tsuyayaka."

"That's quite the name."

"It means 'beautiful'."

"That's just great." Jack replied unimpressed. "Anything else of importance?"

"彼が私の不満はありますか?" Tsuyayaka asked meekly as she gave Jack a sideways glance.

"いや、彼はあなたの方法を知っていることはありません." Daniel replied apologetically with a reassuring smile.

"Okay, this is just annoying." Jack huffed. "Let's go home, SG-5 has two members that speak Japanese. We'll let them deal with this."

"Only Brent speaks Japanese." Daniel corrected. "Kyle is Chinese, besides he was born in Detroit and only speaks English."

"Oh that's right, we were arguing hockey the other day and he's a Red Wings fan." Jack mused to himself. "Whatever, sounds like a job for them anyway, I don't see any Goa'uld influence around here, what about you Teal'c?"

"A world ruled by a Goa'uld would most certainly have a Jaffa guard at the Stargate." Teal'c said.

"私は夕食会にご参加の場合は私たちの名誉と依頼するように指示されている." Tsuyayaka asked politely.

"私たち光栄になる." Daniel replied.

"ありがとうございました." She said with another bow.

"Daniel, what are you telling her?" Jack asked nervously.

"She asked us to join her for dinner, and I said we would be honored."


"Come on, Jack, this is an amazing chance to see into what life was like in the high society of feudal Japan. Just one night."

"One night in Bangkok…why does that sound familiar?"

"It's a song, Sir." Sam provided.

"That's right, something about chess and sex, and something about having to be careful about your company…and oysters, I recall the song said something about oysters. Sounds like a dangerous place, I hate oysters. Let's just go home."

"We just got here." Daniel protested. "Besides this isn't that Bangkok, Jack."

"How can you be so sure?"

"You're kidding right?" Daniel asked exasperated.


"Jack…" Daniel sighed heavily. "First of all that's just a song. Secondly Bangkok is in Thailand, not Japan."


"Really." Daniel replied dryly. "The name is just a coincidence."

Jack looked around the beautiful garden and then at the woman who had greeted them. Seeing that she was being looked at she instantly dropped her eyes to the ground and bowed once more. Jack shook his head sadly and then looked to the rest of the team. Teal'c looked ambivalent to the situation and he already knew Daniel's opinion. Although Sam's eyes were hidden behind the dark glasses she still had a slight smile at the corners of her lips.

"Carter, any thoughts?"

"I don't think we are in any danger here, Sir. We should at least stay long enough to bring back some sort of report to General Hammond."

"Alright, fine, one night in Bangkok…not a minute more."