Kyo- OMG my first Bleach fanfic -screams-
Ichigo- ((rubs ear)) Yeah... really happy for you...
Kyo -And it's GrimmIchi to boot!!!!!
Ichigo- Yes, yes, we're all happy.... Wait... WTH DID U JUST SAY?!?!?
Kyo - ((pokes index fingers together)) Berry-tan no likey GrimmIchi??? ((Runs away crying)) MEANIE!!
Ichigo - Wait!! You forgot to read the disclaimer!
Kyo - ((at a distance)) You do it Berry-head!!!
Ichigo- ((eyebrow twitches)) The author, does not own Bleach (Thank god) Tite Kubo is the only mind to come up with such smexi characters like Grimmjow who I can't wait to pound into the.....WTFH!!?!?!?!
Kyo- ((hears the faraway screams of a disgusted Berry head)) Fufufufu 8D
Title : Unreal
Author: Me! (gaaraUKE or kyo~)
Inspiration: The Last Song I'm Wasting on You by Evanescence.
Rating: M for general Grimmjow-ness, sexual situations, skimpy clothing and bishounen overdose
Smmary: Yes this is a song fic. Grimmjow and Ichigo's relationship is really simple. This was good, Ichigo didn't really want to complicate it any more than it was.
He uses me. I understand that, and for some reason I allow him to do so. I can't say no to him, no matter how much I've tried, or how much I will continue to try. Sad, isn't it?
Sparkling grey, they're my own veins.
I allow it. Does this really make me a bad person? I hate it, and yet he still does it. It hurts but I don't cry, I'll never allow him that satisfaction.
At least it's me and not someone else.
"Say it," he growls.
I shake my head.
"Say you like it, shinigami."
He pounds into me harder, the pain tips the brim of pleasure.
I scream out as he fills me, releasing over his stomach as well. I hate that damn cocky smile.
"That's what I thought."
Anymore than a whisper.
I hate that he does this to me.
Any sudden movement of my heart.
But I still allow it.
What started this? How did this develop into this sick relationship of sorts? We hated each other. We still do. How can I tolerate his presence enough to be claimed as such?
When did I become so weak?
...Ah, now I remember.
And I know...
I know I'll have to watch them pass away.
When almost everything had been lost. I still don't like to think about it; the memory is too fresh in my mind. Maybe in his as well... I doubt it. He rarely brings up the past.
Perhaps that is how we came to be.... together. Our minds searching for a distraction. While it may have not been the best course of action at the time, it surely served its purpose. When I was with him, Grimmjow made me forget about... everything. Essentially in the beginning, that is what we used one another for. We used each other. I thought that was all, the most that could come of this demented courtship.
We weren't compatible. We could barely look at one another without filling with spiteful rage. Or lust. Now the latter took hold more often, and now I don't know what to think about the stupid arrancar.
Can you blame me for being so confused?
We're suppose to be enemies and yet, every time he gives me that look, i can't bear to turn him down. Two years since Aizen was defeated and this still continues. And still I don't know what to feel about Grimmjow.
As the time passes, I feel myself getting weaker, I can't live day by day like this. I barely manage moment to moment.
Just get through this day.
I know I'm being used. but there isn't much I can do about it now. I've come to live with it, expect it, love it. If there were feelings, deep feelings and emotions hidden within his actions, then things would be even more complicated. Too complicated.
When we fucked, there were no strings attached, no emotions to weigh either of us down. And when we were done, he left. Without words and without expression. Anything more than that would seem too personal. Too real.
We weren't like that. it was never gentle. There were usually fresh bruises and blood left over when we were done. That's how it was and I couldn't ask for anything more. Grimmjow wasn't the gentle type and when he took me (for the first time and many others following that) he wasn't overly conscious of my mental or physical state.
He often rammed inside of me with abandon and often without any type of lubrication. He knew I hated that, he knew it hurt, but he did it anyway. That was our relationship. Had he been soft, had he murmured sounds of comfort, we wouldn't be in this predicament. It would be less like a dream. I didn't want it to be too real.
Give up your way, you could be anything.
Real hit to close to heart and bringing my emotions into this situation was not something I was prepared to do.
So we fucked. And when it was good, it was good. And when it was bad, it was still good.
"Damn it, that hurts, you fucker."
"Shut up and take it, shinigami."
"My wound..." I pant, so close, so deliciously close.
He pulls my head back by the nape, purring in my ear, "Hmmm...?"
"My wound is... ah... gonna open."
I can feel the stitches tearing at my side.
He scoffs and repositions his hands on my hips, digging his ridiculously sharp nails into fresh skin. I moan despite myself.
"That better, shinigami?" He sneered.
I hate him.
Give up my way and lose myself, not today.
I love what he does to me. The way my body reacts. The physical response, not the emotional one. I don't think I'll ever be able to confront my emotions...
That's too much guilt to pay.
...I've fallen hard.
It's funny. The exact moment I realised it, I decided to cut off my emotions completely. It was an odd sort of warm moment... There were no kind words, Grimmjow isn't capable of those kind of things. It was a random statement at a random moment...
"Yeah, well... just don't die, idiot."
He scowled as he said it and by no means was his tone condescending, but those were almost as it...
Then I shut my brain off, drowning my emotions within that darkness.
If I was a fool, I would have said those words sounded as if he worried about me. But that couldn't be. if he worried, that meant he cared. Grimmjow cares for nothing and no one.
I decided we were getting too close. Too real.
Sickened in the sun,
I tried to end it. Gods how I tried. But he devoured me, like he always does.
"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about, shinigami."
You dare tell me you love me.
I want to get away, but I'm already stuck. Ive always been his prey, but I've never felt that way until now.
But you held me down and screamed you wanted me to die.
I want to shield myself, but there is little that I can do. I can't think when his hands are on my body, tearing yet another set of clothes I'll have to replace. I don't want to leave when he shoves our crotches together, grinding down on top of me. Nor when he lifts my legs, ruthelessly burying himself inside of me. I scream and I shiver, but I don't want to let go as he pushes forward again and again.
I don't want to love him the way that I do, but I suppose some things can't be helped.
Even as the last of my climax dies down, i don't want to let him go. He will leave, like so many times before. I know it, so I clutch his back tighter.
He doesn't try to push me away, like he always does.
"You can't leave me, Ichigo."
Honey you know...
This is... unreal.
You know I'd never hurt you that way.
He uses me...
You're just so pretty in your pain.
I know that and for some reason, I allow him to do so. It bothers me, causes me nights of restless sleep, but I still can't bring myself to care.
I need him.
I understand that now too, even though I hate him.
But I also love him.
It's funny how I can just say it so easily. i was scared of the word before. I ran from it. But now I embrace it, I cling to it. That one word that keeps my sanity in check. If it weren't for that, i don't think I could put up with that asshole.
We don't argue as much now, but he's still not gentle. Not like I want him to be, but I often wonder if he's capable of it. Then he looks at me with those glowing, animalistic eyes and I decide no, nothing about Grimmjow is gentle. That's one thing that will never change.
Give up my way and I could be anything.
This strannge connection that we have confuses me. The way he looks at me sometimes frightens me. As if he can't stand to be around me.
But he keeps coming back.
And he keeps devouring me.
And I fall deeper, despite myself. Despite the cruel names and harsh words. Despite all of the inconsistencies on his part. I just know that when I finally hit the ground, there will be nothing left.
I'll make my own way without your senseless hate...
I hate him.
But I love him
I want to hate him.
But I can't.
Does he feel the same way about me?
"What the fuck are you looking at, shinigami?"
Maybe not. But there is a reason why he sticks around. Why he keeps coming back. Why he won't allow me to leave. Of this I am certain.
"I don't want you hanging around that stupid pineapple headed shinigami."
"Renji is my friend, Grimmjow."
"I wouldn't give a rats ass if he was your brother."
"Are you scared of being found? It's been two years, I doubt Sereitei has completely ignored your presence here."
"First of all I don't give a shit about that, it was you who told me to keep a low profile."
And yet he listened to me. Why? That still puzzles me.
"Second," he paused.
I thought I saw his lips quiver. I must have been mistaken.
"I don't like the way he looks at you."
"Grimmjow... are you jealous?!"
"The fuck?!" He cursed. "Why the hell would I hafta be jealous?!?!"
My eyebrow lifted in amusement.
"No I ain't jealous. You've been spending too much time reading those faggot ass books you humans have in this world."
He's jealous of me and Renji's relationship. I teased him about it, probably more than I should have. And when we lay together, tangled, sweaty limbs and all, in my bed a few hour later, he gave me a reason that really made me think... and think hard.
"Cause you're mine, shinigami."
...run... and hate me,
Unreal? No doubt about it.
If it feels good.
I could feel myself falling a little deeper. It was impossible to run now.
- I can't hear your screams anymore. -
I can't hear your screams anymore.
He uses me. I can't accept that. There is more here, I know t. I can feel it when he kisses me. I feel it when the roughness of his lips break for a brief moment and a hint of that never-before-seen gentleness shows itself. I feel it when his metaphorical mask slips, showing his concern. The feeling is deep and warm, however brief. But it's still there.
Do I dare question him?
Of course. I hate him, I'm not afraid of him. He doesn't scare me with his response either.
"Getting soft? You gotta be outta your fucking mind, Kurosaki." He scoffs.
You lied to me.
He said my name and had not bothered to call me shinigami.
He didn't even notice.
But I'm older now.
And I'm not buying, baby.
The feeling is getting stronger and I know that there is only a matter of time before the stubborn bastard can admit it to himself as well.
There is something inside of me that needs to hear the words. I just need to know. I don't know how to explain it. I know he feels it. I can see it whenever he glares at me. I see it in the rare, yet dazzling smiles. He can deny it as much ass he wants, the idiot, but I know it's there.
It has to be.
Demanding my response.
"Why the hell are you looking at me like that again? Your fucking staring is annoying, so quit."
I stare at him for a few moments longer, ignoring his words and his glare from the other side of the sofa. It was one of those rare moments of peace before his outburst.
"The fuck is your problem? You wanna fight?" He cocked his head to look at me.
"I'm not looking for a fight, Grimmjow."
"Then what the fuck is your problem?"
I cut the distance between us, crawling over the couch to rest myself comfortably on his lap.
"I want..." I pull his head back, grip forcefully tight on his scalp. He doesn't wince. "...to know something."
"What's that?" His hands are resting on my hips.
"How do you feel about this?"
He gives me a lewd smile, grinding up into my crotch.
"How do you think I feel."
"Not that, you prick." I corrected, pulling his head back more, he visibly flinched that time. "About me, about us."
"The fuck are you going with this, shi-"
I pull harder.
"I've always hated when you called me that."
He grins. "Feisty tonight, aren't ya?"
"Answer the damn question, Grimmjow."
"Not really sure what ya want me to say."
He was serious and I grit my teeth.
I would get this out of him one way or another. I was tired of being used. And I was certain he was tired of pretending to use me.
"What do you feel about me?" I repeat.
Don't bother breaking the door down.
"Answer the fucking question!"
Even he flinches at the desperation in my voice.
Despite the grip of my hand buried in his teal hair, he moves forward. His lips were on my own in a kiss so gentle it almost broke my heart.
I found my way out.
"You're a fucking idiot, you know that?"
Yeah... I know.
And you'll never hurt me again.
Kyo- The song lyrics are bold italic underlined. Ano... I hope it wasn't too OOC.... I feel like I did really good with Grimm.... but I can't be sure about Ichi-face =\
Ichigo - ((twitch)) What the hell is with all the nicknames?
Kyo- :3 Cuz I feel like it.
Ichigo - ((twitch twitch twitch)) ....
Kyo- Moh... If you scowl anymore, your eyebrows will fall off, Berry-kun
Grimmjow- ((snickers in the background)) This thing was long and really f*cking boring.
Kyo - O: Bad kitty!! ((sprays with water))
Grimmjow- WTF?!?! ((takes out zanpakuto)) Kishire, Pantera
Kyo- O.O ((runs)) TTwTT I REGRET NOTHING!!
(Song: The Last Song I'm Wasting on you belongs to Evenescence.)