Once Byten, Twice Shy

By EmyPink

Written for the Torchwood Australia Weekly Writing Challenge #2

Disclaimer: Torchwood is not mine; I just play with the characters

Rating: PG-13/T

Parings: None

Genre: Humour, Gen, Fluff

Warnings: Set sometime after the conclusion of 'A Day in the Death', rated for one swear word

Summary: Owen's been messing with Tosh's computer again.

A/N Yes, it's Owen again. *snuggles* I am really loving Owen at the moment. And he's easy.

"Owen, what are you doing?" Gwen hissed, looking disdainfully at Owen who was concentrating intently on the screen in front of him.

"Shhh, playing," Owen replied, distracted.

"Playing?" Gwen exclaimed. "Are you stupid or something?"

"I am inclined to go with the or something," Ianto remarked, joining Gwen and Owen at Tosh's work station. His facial expression mirrored Gwen's. "You're an idiot."

"So I've heard," Owen answered, cocking his head to the side as he fired his finger against the shift key. "Take that, zombie!" He punched the air.

Ianto rolled his eyes. "Don't tell me you uploaded that mindless game onto Tosh's computer. Again."

"I didn't load that mindless game onto Tosh's computer. Again," Owen repeated as he advanced to the next level.

Ianto groaned. "You know Tosh will kill you," he muttered. "And I am not cleaning up the mess."

Owen shrugged, his concentration still on the game. "Meh. Been there, done that. I'm already dead."

"Unfortunately," Ianto replied dryly. "I would have enjoyed watching Toshiko slaughter you."

"You would, Teaboy," Owen retorted, taking his eyes off the game for a second to glare at Ianto. "Might get you off."

Ianto ignored Owen's barb and instead pointed at the screen. "You might want to concentrate on the game, Owen," Ianto said pleasantly. "You just got eaten."

"What?!" Owen screeched. "No, no, no!" He looked pained as the enemy zombie started to eat the brains of his action hero that looked scarily like Jack.

"This is all your fault, Teaboy," Owen growled, as Gwen started to giggle.

"Serves you right, Owen," Gwen laughed. "It was a stupid idea in the first place. Tosh's computer? Really?" She looked at him with incredulous eyes.

"What?" Owen huffed. "Tosh's computer is the best," he stated, as if that was the perfect argument.

"That might be because she does most of the technical work," Ianto pointed out. "This is why she doesn't need you poking around and uploading rubbish."

"It's not rubbish," Owen defended. "It is a cleverly crafted, strategic game that . . ."

Ianto rolled his eyes. "You're shooting the un-dead. I fail to see how that can be cleverly crafted and strategic."

Owen sighed. "You have no taste, Teaboy, no taste." He shook his head sadly. "Zombie-Mania, I tell you, is one of the fastest growing games . . ."

"Well, then I am glad that I have no taste," Ianto bit back, "if it means that I will not be reduced to mind-numbing games that serve no purpose."

"I'm with Ianto," Gwen agreed. "Why play video games when we have real monsters to chase?"

"Um, hello," Owen announced, gesturing to himself, "I'm not exactly seeing much field action at the moment. Or any action, for that matter. How else am I meant to get my kicks?"

"Take up knitting," Ianto deadpanned.

"Nah, tried that," Owen joked and turned back to his game. "Okay, not too bad. Only down a couple of levels. I can get that back, no prob."

Ianto shook his head. "You remember what happened last time you uploaded a game to Tosh's computer," he sighed.

"What? When was this?" Gwen asked, looking confused.

"Before your time," Ianto replied. "Owen, the idiot, uploaded some game to Tosh's computer . . ." Ianto paused. "But what he didn't know was that the game was corrupted and uploaded an alien virus onto the network."

"Oh . . ." Gwen looked scandalised.

"Exactly," Ianto said, looking a little amused. "I've never see Tosh so fired up. Or Jack for that matter. He was in the bad books for weeks."

Owen harrumphed. "How was I supposed to know that the fricking aliens had corrupted Space Invaders."

"Seriously?" Gwen started giggling again. "Space Invaders. No way."

"Oh, believe me, darl," Owen affirmed darkly as he fired upon a couple of zombies. "I didn't hear the end of it for weeks."

"It served you right," Ianto said.

Gwen shook her head. "Oh, I meant Owen playing Space Invaders." She grinned. "What are you? Ten?"

"Space Invaders is a classic, babe," Owen replied, distracted by the game at hand. "It's the classic game of . . ."

Ianto sighed exasperatedly. "Fine. Whatever. I don't care. Just don't let Tosh or Jack catch you. I am not cleaning up the mess," he emphasised his last sentence.

"Um, Owen?" Gwen pointed to the CCTV. "Tosh alert."

Owen started and tumbled out of Tosh's chair. "What?"

"Tosh. Jack. They're back," Gwen stated plainly.

"What? Oh, fuck," Owen cursed as he slapped the keyboard and closed down the game. He hit a few more keys and the system beeped.

"There," he said smugly. "Fixed. Tosh'll never know the difference."

"I'm sure," Ianto replied dryly and spun on his heels. He walked away shaking his head.

Gwen offered Owen a small smile then scampered away. Owen took one last, satisfied look at the clean computer and grinned, whistling as he returned to his autopsy bay.

Tosh would never know the difference.


Five minutes later, Owen was happily slicing into their current resident when,


Owen flinched and his scalpel clattered onto the metal table. "Oh, crap."

"Well, I did warn you," Ianto said lightly from the steps that led to the autopsy bay. He had an evil grin on his face

Owen glared at Ianto and looked suitably chastised. "Don't you dare, Teaboy, don't you dare," he warned, seeing the look on Ianto's face.

Ianto smirked, and looked smug and childish as he said, "I told you so!"