I decided to write something funny since my two oneshots were rather depressing.

Summary: Kanda and Allen go together like cats and dogs. But then, Innocence had a twisted sense of humor.

Warnings: some language...the rated M stuff will come later

Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray Man. Never have, never will.


Chapter 1


Even while running for his life, Allen could hear the derisive snort from his mission partner standing a safe distance away with an arrogant smirk on his face.

"It's your own fault for walking into a cave without even looking to make sure nothing's in there. Deal with it yourself, Moyashi."

The white haired boy spared a glance back and nearly had a heart attack at the sight of long, sharp fangs snapping towards his face. He suddenly tripped over a convenient rock and they passed overhead, ruffling snow white hair. Allen spared a moment to mourn the few strands of hair that lazily floated to the ground before an angry snarl startled him back to the problem at hand. He scrambled to his feet and continued running.


"They're not that big."

"Easy for you to say. They're not chasing after you now, are they?!"

Allen ducked again to avoid the deadly attack. Having had enough, the white haired exorcist jumped and caught a branch. He pulled himself onto it and began climbing. Once he deemed himself safe, Allen looked down. He felt his jaw drop in disbelief.

They seemed to be able to jump quite high.

"Kanda!! Don't just stand there! Do something!"

The dark haired exorcist watched the proceedings with great amusement, though he didn't show it. "Che. Fine, you distract those things and I'll get the Innocence. Don't die yet, Moyashi. I refuse to drag your corpse back to Headquarters."

"What?! Help me!"

He quickly invocated his Innocence and took a swipe at his enraged attackers with his own silver-colored claws. They flinched and backed away, but returned angrier than before. Allen kept them at bay and looked around for his temperamental comrade. He was gone.

"Kanda? Kanda! You can't just leave me here like this, you jerk! Kanda!"


Said temperamental exorcist was currently stepping into the dark cave. He may have heard his name being called but dismissed it as the wind.

"Che. Useless Moyashi. What kind of idiot casually walks into a dark, possibly inhabited cave without checking first?"

Kanda growled a little, used to the annoyance that rose whenever he had to think about the dense beansprout.

He froze when an answering growl echoed in the wide space. And another. Then another.

The dark haired exorcist swallowed thickly. There was a small chance that it was his own low growl echoing. An infinitesimal chance. Bordering on extremely unlikely, but still a chance. His theory crashed when several pairs of yellow eyes that seemed to glow in the darkness centered on him.


They leapt at him.


Allen was still keeping the three persistent wolves from getting him. The tree wasn't very large, and the wolves happened to be able to jump rather high. The fifteen-year-old pulled his legs closer to his body.

"Stupid Kanda. I wish some wolves would attack him."

At that moment, Kanda ran out of the cave with four wolves snapping at his heels. Allen stared at the scene with wide eyes.

"Wow…it came true."

The older exorcist ran towards Allen and through a bit of maneuvering, bypassed the three wolves snapping at the base of the tree and managed to swing himself onto the branch next to the white haired boy.

"Fuck, there were more of them in the cave."

Allen didn't answer. Instead, he had his eyes closed and a thoughtful look adorned his face. Kanda frowned at the silence. "Moyashi."

"I wish the wolves would disappear."

The dark haired teen gave Allen an odd look. He opened his mouth to say something scathing, but the wolves chose that time to start whimpering. Kanda looked down and saw the animals cowering before they ran off with tails between they're legs. He slowly blinked.

Allen opened his eyes and brightened when he saw the lack of wolves. "Cool! It worked. They disappeared."

"What the fuck are you talking about, Moyashi? They just ran off."

The white haired exorcist pouted. Suddenly, his left eye activated. "Umm…Kanda? I think I know why they ran away."

The Japanese teen glanced at Allen and tensed when he saw the whirling gear covering a silver eye. "Akuma."

Both exorcists jumped down from the tree and prepared to face the group of akuma heading their way.

Fifteen minutes later, Kanda sheathed Mugen and Allen deactivated his Innocence arm.

The white haired boy looked around. "Well, the wolves aren't here so we should get the Innocence and leave before they come back."

Just after entering the cave, Allen's eyes activated again. Kanda turned to face the entrance. "Get the Innocence, Moyashi. I'll deal with them."

"It's Allen. And they're all level one."

"Che. Whatever."

Allen made his way deeper into the cave, using the faint light from the entrance. He walked for a few minutes until a slight glow caught his attention. Grinning, Allen ran forward and reached for what seemed to be a padlock of sorts. The soft clinking of chains reached his ears as he picked up the glowing lock.

The white haired boy tugged on the lock, and the chains rattled. He then pulled on the chain but was met with resistance. "Huh? Is it caught on something?"

Kanda's voice echoed. "Oi! Moyashi, hurry up."

"I'm trying but it's stuck."

Allen tugged a little harder when he heard the older teen's heavy footsteps approach.

"What the hell do you mean stuck?"

Huffing out a breath, the white haired boy looked his comrade. "I can't it out. I think the chain's caught on something."


Innocence appeared in many forms, so chains didn't seem very abnormal.

The dark haired teen frowned as he watched Allen struggle with the stubborn Innocence. "Che. Weakling."

The younger exorcist glared. "Fine, you try then."

Kanda clicked his tongue and reached for the chain to pull it from Allen's grasp. A bright light filled the dark cave when his fingertips brushed the metal, and a searing pain. The last thing he saw was the chain slipping from Allen's hand. Then darkness.


He slowly woke. His body felt heavy and his mind sluggishly processed the information his nerves sent. He understood on some level that he was laying on something hard, there was a metallic taste in his mouth, and something smelled very nice. Whatever that something was had to be very close by because the scent was strong.

He instinctively shifted closer to that pleasant smell, and his nose brushed something soft that tickled his nose. He opened his eyes with some effort and was greeted with white. He blinked a few times. It took some moments for him to realize that he was looking at hair. White hair. And the only person with white hair that he knew of was Allen, who was currently snuggling against his chest.

Wait. Allen. Snuggling against his chest. His fuzzy mind couldn't pinpoint why that was not supposed to be happening. The only thing he could think of was that the boy curled up next to him smelled good. Really good.

He slowly wrapped his arms around the smaller body and buried his nose in the white hair. Closing his eyes, he fell asleep.


When he woke, he felt cold. But there was something warm next to him. So doing the logical thing, not that he was really thinking at the moment, he cuddled up against the warm object. The scent of steel and a flower of some sort drifted to his nose, made him feel safe.

Something wrapped around his waist and pulled him closer to the warmth, nuzzling his hair. A happy sigh escaped. He fell asleep to a rhythmic sound that reminded him of heartbeats.



Kanda jerked awake, ears ringing from the loud scream right next to him. He opened his eyes to see the beansprout struggling to escape from his arms. An elbow jabbed into his stomach, knocking the breath out of him.

He automatically loosened his grip and Allen scrambled away.

The dark haired teen glared, trying to regain his breath. He suddenly froze when everything finally registered. He was hugging Moyashi while they slept.

But why were they sleeping in the first place? Disjointed images flashed in his mind. Akuma. Wolves. Chains. A wave of searing heat when he touched the Innocence. Allen dropping the chain when the light filled the cave. Then nothing after that.

Kanda glanced at Allen who was huddling a few feet away. He stared for a few moments before foregoing dignity and rubbed his eyes. Everything looked the same.


The white haired boy grumbled a little. "It's Allen, Bakanda."

The older teen ignored the insult. He couldn't tear his gaze away from the younger exorcist.

Allen shifted uncomfortably under the piercing scrutiny. "Stop staring at me! Why are you looking at me with that weird look on your face?"

Indeed, Kanda had a shocked expression adorning his face. He was practically gaping. "Moyashi, you…"

The white haired boy was nervous now. What could possibly make Kanda, the most feared exorcist in Headquarters, lose face like that? "K-Kanda? What's wrong?"

"Your ears…"

Allen's hands flew to the sides of his head. "There's nothing wrong with my ears."

"Not those." Kanda pointed to the top of Allen's head. "Those."

The white haired boy cautiously ran his fingers through his hair. "What are you…" He trailed off when he felt something soft and furry on top of his head. Two of them. And they just twitched.

Kanda winced and covered his still ringing ears when another scream echoed in the cave.