EDIT: Sorry but this story is now on permanent hiatus - indefinitely. I have had so many attempts at continuing this but I no longer feel I can write these characters well enough. Or well enough that I want to post it. I apologise to those who have followed it though and have still kept an interest in reading it.
Disclaimer: I don't own House MD.
As House walked into the bowling alley, his eyes were assaulted by the bright lights of the arcade and his ears were left ringing with the choruses of 'YOU COULD BE A WINNER!' from the machines which he knew, statistically, you would only win once for every $500 you spent - if you were lucky, and he wasn't a man to rely on luck, ever.
Making his way over to the end lane (the lane him and Wilson frequented) he spotted the shapely figure of Lisa Cuddy, and so took his time to check out her jean clad bottom which he knew was only covered by the expanse of denim. He licked his lips before yelling: "Wilson! I didn't know you were bringing Hookers! Awesome!"
Cuddy whirled around to face him, her eyes sparkling with mischief but a hidden panic underneath: did she really think he would spill their little secret...not a chance...this way way waay more fun. "Oh no! It's the devil, quick, run, hide!" He yelled again as he limped towards them. He could see Laura watching him, a smile gracing her features.
"We are way too expensive, even for yours and Wilson's bank accounts." Cuddy shot in, and she smirked as House raised his eyebrows impressed.
"Are we going to stand here and 'chat' or are we going to bowl?" Came Wilson's voice from behind the two ladies.
"Sure, I'm ready to embarrass you in front of these two." House said, limping to the seat to get started.
House stood up to bowl, slightly conscious of his limp being more obvious without his cane, and succeeded in knocking all the pins down. "I am that good." He said seriously, causing Cuddy and Laura to both laugh. He did a slightly stunted moon walk back to his chair and Wilson eyed him with curiosity...what was he doing? Sure he usually showed off, but this, this was to impress one of them. He must like Laura then, thought Wilson, unsure if he should warn Cuddy.
"Wilson?!" House yelled, effectively jerking Wilson back to the here and now. "You're go, hurry up or we'll be here all night, what with you plus those two playing." He said, deliberately keeping his voice loud.
"I'll have you know that I'm not bad." Came Laura's retort, and House looked at her with a small smirk on his face, "You sure about that?" He asked, flashing her one of his grins, watching as Cuddy tried to keep the smile off of her face, something was going on there. He thought, and he wanted to know just what.
"Yess. Spare!" Came Wilson's voice from behind them as House was observing the two women.
"Not as good as a strike Wonder Boy." House said with a smirk, turning back around to Wilson while Laura prepared to take her shot.
Just as she was about to let go of the ball he wolf whistled, causing her to falter slightly and lose her momentum, dropping the ball just over the line. He let out a loud guffaw as she turned around with a deep blush across her face, and one of the patented Cuddy glares - it must be genetic - seeing the other two trying not to laugh at her embarrassment. "You're an ass." She said in response, and she received the classic House reply: "And you really love it."
She knocked down 6 pins in her next turn, and it was Cuddy up now. She stepped up and House watched entranced as the jeans tightened across her bottom as she took her shot. His eyes widened when he saw that it was going straight down the middle, looking like a great shot.
"Strike!" She said with triumph evident in her voice as she turned around to see the other 3 gawping at her.
"Looks like you've got competition." Wilson said with a grin, turning to see House's shocked expression.
"Finally." House muttered darkly before taking his next shot and proceeding to knock them all down again. "Oh, it is ON." He said in his best teenage girl impression when he turned to Cuddy.
"You are going down." Was Cuddy's reply as he sat back down
"Ooohh, I'm scared Boss Lady." Was House's sarcastic reply as they watched Wilson knock only half of his pins down. "Not on form tonight Wilson." House tutted at his friend.
The remainder of the game continued like this; House and Cuddy 'battling', both getting either spares or strikes and Laura and Wilson bringing up the rear. Then there were, of course, the traditional House comments every time they missed, especially Laura who - it seemed - he enjoyed tormenting, making her loose her momentum and there were even a few gutter balls in there. He was proud of his work.
On his last shot, House only managed to knock down 8 of his pins, in some freak accident of mother nature he assured them all, and Cuddy was just about to take her shot. "And it's the last frame, the last shot for Lisa Cuddy, DOM, She-Devil, All Mighty Ruler of He-llarumphph" The rest of House's words were stopped when Wilson and Laura smacked him on the arms. "Hey!" House exclaimed in mock hurt.
"Thanks." Said Cuddy with a smirk, proceeding to knock down all of her pins.
"NOOOOOOO!" House shrieked, " Don't tell me I was just beaten by a, by a giirrl!" He whined.
"Yes, you did." She smirked as he continued to whine about how it was unfair before changing tact and saying that he 'let' her win.
"Sure you did, you just can't believe my sister bet you." Laura said, sticking her tongue out at him. "Serves you right for making me lose my concentration every time."
"You'd think with Cuddy as your sister you would be a little more immune to my boyish charms, oh, or maybe this is a sign, Cuddy do you wanna take a ride on my motorcycle?" House asked her, lacing it with innuendo.
Cuddy just snorted with laughter and turned to Wilson.
"I think House has finally lost it." Wilson nodded in acknowledgment, wondering what the hell House was playing at.
"Well, Cuddy, mini-Cuddy, me and Wilson here have to be on our merry way. Sorry to take away our beauty from you so quickly, but we have so drink to drink and some hookers to watch." House said getting up to leave.
"What? It's only 9pm, why don't we all just go for a drink?" Laura asked, hoping to stall the inevitable end of the evening. House spotted the look on Wilson's face and knew that they were going for drinks...fantastic...or maybe I can use this to my advantage, have a little fun with Cuddy...
"Sounds good, how about just a few, we are all working tomorrow." Wilson said as they began to leave. He went ahead, taking Cuddy with him to warn her of the Laura and House predicament, hoping that she would take it well.
"Hey Cuddy!" House yelled at her and Wilson just ahead of them. "You should wear jeans to the office, if you did you wouldn't have to give out all those blow jobs, the donors would be putty in your hands with jeans that tight." Cuddy just glared at him, turning back to Wilson who was looking rather awkward.
"I think House is going out with your sister." He blurted out suddenly, taking Cuddy by surprize. Her response was to laugh, and she saw Wilson's look of confusion.
"My sister is not seeing House Wilson. House doesn't date; I know that, you should too. All he needs are his hookers and his vicodin." She realised there was still a little bite to her voice; she obviously wasn't quite over his hooker fiasco just yet. Wilson looked at her questioningly; ready to ask her more when House's voice came from behind:
"Wait up! I'm a cripple you know!"
"You never let us forget it." Cuddy shouted over her shoulder before stopping in her tracks to let them catch up.
"Aw man. Why'd you actually stop? I had the best view of your ass from back here." House whined when him and Laura caught up to Cuddy and Wilson. Cuddy shot him her famous, or was it infamous, glare and he smirked at her in reply. Wilson stepped in as peacemaker:
"Where are we going? I think there's a nice little place around the corner." He said calmly.
"As long as there are no half-naked women and there is decent alcohol, I don't care." Cuddy said, beginning to turn away from the group in the direction of said bar.
"I don't think you want to go there." House piped up, his face serious. "They don't even have decent scotch. A bar's not a bar without decent scotch." Cuddy almost laughed aloud at his serious expression before she noticed the side of his mouth trying to stop a smirk from forming: what is he up to? She wondered.
"So where, Dr House, do you propose we go?" She asked, taking a step towards him, hoping to catch a glimpse of the familiar mischievous glint in his eyes. Hopefully before she got lost in their electrifying depths.
"How about we go to Potters'. It's got great scotch, and it has a pool table." He suggested, watching Wilson's face as it dawned…Potters' was a nice pub, well as nice as a Princeton pub could be, and, it was about 10 minutes drive away. What's he got up his sleeve? Wilson wondered.
"That would involve us driving." Wilson pointed out. "Do you have your car Cuddy?"
"No she doesn't, I brought mine." Laura chipped in, wondering how two people could have a secret conversation with just their eyes as she looked between her sister and House.
When Cuddy realised Laura had only two seats she knew exactly what he was up to and she smirked at him, if he thought she was getting on that motorcycle he had another thing coming.
"So that leaves us with a two-seater car and a motorcycle. That won't work House." Wilson pointed out, looking to his friend for his reaction.
"I'm sure Cuddy could take you in Laura's car and Laura could come with me." He said, not looking to Laura as expected but continuing to look at Cuddy, a smirk on his face as if challenging her, daring her to say it.
"Sure tha-" Laura began before being cut off by Cuddy.
"I can't drive stick." Cuddy said forcefully cutting off her sister's agreement.
"Oh, I'm sure you can." House said, his voice laced with innuendo and his smirk growing in proportion. Cuddy just glared at him.
"I'll ride with you." Wilson said and House just scoffed:
"Not a chance. I don't want people thinking I'm gay with you. Can you imagine what that'd do to my rep?" House asked, his voice laced with sarcasm, his eyes still on Cuddy.
"People already think you two are lovers anyways, might as well prove them right." Cuddy shot in with a smirk and timing that could rival House's. He raised an eyebrow at her and she smiled, a genuine smile as she saw Wilson's face: he hadn't been expecting that comeback anyway.
"Wilson, you go with Laura. We'll get you guys there." House said, finally looking away from Cuddy and at his best friend, before turning his gaze on Laura who looked about ready to protest when Cuddy chipped in:
"Go. We'll get you there and I'll make sure he doesn't kill us. I may not know my way about a stick, but I do know how to handle House." Wilson nodded in agreement, ignoring the innuendo in her sentence knowing that Cuddy was just playing House's game.
He took Laura's arm and they headed for her car leaving Cuddy and House smirking at each other.
"That wasn't obvious at all." Cuddy said sarcastically, shooting him a glare before marching to his bike.
"Don't get your panties in a bunch – wait, you don't have any on." She shot him a withering glare, which he ignored before continuing. "Wilson gave up on 'us' happening ages ago and your sister likes me too much to think anything's going on." He trailed off when they reached his bike.
He leant down and handed her the helmet before clipping his cane in place and straddling his bike. "Get on. Hold on." He commanded. She did as he said, revelling in being so close to him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and slid her hands under the front of his jacket to keep them warm. She was sure she felt him gulp.
"Just don't move your hands any lower unless you want me to crash this thing." He said upon feeling her body pressed against his back and feeling her slender hands sitting on his stomach. He kicked down the stand and gunned the engine, heading off to the bar with a roar, hoping that she would in fact not move or he was certain they would crash…maybe this was not such a good idea after all he thought before banishing the thought from his mind as she held on tighter as they rounded a bend. He smiled; it was definitely a good idea.
Meanwhile, in the car, Laura was currently asking Wilson about House and her sister, wanting to know what was going on there. Wilson was, however, unable to give her an answer beyond: "They're always like that." And she was not satisfied with that answer. She wanted, or rather, needed to know what was going on. She liked House, but if Lisa liked House too well, then they may have a slight problem.
Wilson on the other hand was deep in thought, trying to suss out just what House had managed to accomplish by getting Cuddy to ride with him, hoping that in doing so he could work out what in teh hell was actually going on with his friend.
When House and Cuddy reached the bar, Wilson and Laura were already inside waiting for them. Cuddy took this opportunity to press her lips against House's and remind of just what he had. Instantly, the kiss was deepend and when House's hands gave her butt a firm squeeze Cuddy pulled away knowing that he was going to be thinking about her for the rest of the night.
"You can give me a ride home if you're sober enough." She said with a grin, her eyes sparkling with mischeif as she waited for one of his many innuendos.
"As long as you ride me when we get there then I'm up for it." He said, smirking at her and his deliberately bad joke.
"That, was terrible." She said, patting his arm with a smirk before heading into the bar in front of him, already looking forward to the going home part of tonight. The motorcycle ride had actually been ok; Any legitemate reason for being to very close to Gregory House was something she was more than happy to jump at.
Constructive critiscism, rants, musings, ramblings, super secret plans for world domination...all welcome and loved :)
Story is now on PERMANENT HIATUS. And is suspended here indefinitely. Sorry.