Author's Note: Hello everybody! It's been a while since I have written anything. The last thing I wrote was an Anita Blake Fanfiction and before that, a year gap with Harry Potter. This is going to be my first Twilight fanfic with probably many more to go, if you so desire. I do not have a beta for this, so if anything is a little wonky, you know why.

I have read all the books, including the partial draft of Midnight Sun. This story I would say takes place where Breaking Dawn is, but this idea came to me before their first love scene. So I guess what I am trying to say is that this is not cannon and it written as if Breaking Dawn has not yet been released.

I hope you all enjoy it and feedback is greatly appreciated.

Twilight and the kin belong to Stephenie Meyer.


I could hear Edward and Carlisle in the other room; however I could not hear what they were saying. If I was a vampire I would know. I heaved a sigh all rolled over on the newly bought bed, tucking my hand under the pillow and feigning sleep for when Edward returned. Just a few months more and I could be like him, not so breakable and he would have me.

My body craved the touch of someone else. Granted I have never done anything of the sort with myself. When Edward touches me, I lose all control. When Jacob touches, there is like this fire that burns through my body. He would give me what I wanted. But I did not love him. I loved Edward Cullen. I just wish he would do something, anything to let me know he wanted me as much as I wanted him.

My heart ached, a few tears slipped from my eyes. Maybe he didn't want me.

"Bella, why are you crying?"

I gave a short scream and rolled over, trying to wipe my eyes so he would not see the tears.

"I'm not crying; I yawned." I lied through my teeth and I knew he could tell.

"Lying is most unbecoming of you, Bella. Besides I can hear your heart, something is wrong."

I took a deep breath, "It's just, you never, you wont-"

Edward was suddenly on the bed with me, his arms wrapped around me.

"Relax, Bella. Talk to me." He said this and then laid a kiss on my temple. My next breath was shaky.

"Why won't you touch me?"

He chuckled deep in his throat, "Bella, I'm touching you right now."

I took his hand and intertwined it with mine, looking at the diamond engagement ring on my hand. "That's not what I mean, I wa-," He cut my off.

"I know what you mean. We have already made a decision about when it's going to be."

"I don't mean sex, Edward, I mean just touching me. Not like this, but something more. I want to feel your hands on me, letting me know you do want me, Edward. I feel like, you really don't want me, that there may be someone else out there that holds your heart closer than I do."

"Don't ever say that, Bella. We agreed to this after we got married."

I tore myself away from his embrace; I only managed because he let me. "I don't want to have sex Edward. I am fine with waiting until we are married. I just want you to touch me, make me feel like I am worthy of your touch. No sex, not unless you want to, because you know I want to, I just want to know what it feels like. We need to take baby steps, like you said, but can we please not wait until marriage for all of it. It may be too overwhelming for you and you may freak out and stop before we even get to the sex."

I had worked myself up into tears and I was breathing heavily. Jacob would give me what I wanted. I started for the door, but Edward reached it before more.

"Bella, I can't stand not knowing what you're thinking."

I looked up, but his eyes did not meet my face, they were looking over my head at the wall.

"What do you think I am thinking?"

His face screwed up into what almost looked like a pained expression, he eyes looking like he was about to cry, "You're thinking about going to Jacob. He knows what you want Bella and he filled your head with the idea of him giving to you, but you want it from me. But I am reluctant in giving it to you, so you're going to him."

I stood rooted in place. "Or, I could just want to go for a walk to clear my head."

The sound that came from him was frightening and he pulled away. "Don't lie, I may be unable to read your thoughts, but I can still tell when you're lying. If sex and touching is what you want, then go to him. He loves you and you love him and he can give you what you want, when you want it."

He stalked back to the bed and laid on it, crossing his legs at the ankle and tucking his hands behind his head.

I just stood there, the tears trailing down my cheeks. I started for the bed.

"Bella, don't."

It did not stop me. I crawled onto the bed and laid down beside him, curling myself around him. He brought his arms around me and crashed me to him.

"Bella, I love you. I have no thing really to give you but my honor and myself when the time comes. Please don't make this any harder than it already is on me."

I looked up into his face, "What do you mean make this harder on you."

He smiled my favorite crooked smile, "You really think that I don't long for your touch? I am like you Bella; I have never been touched before, either by someone else or myself. When I grew up, virginity held a lot more meaning and since becoming a vampire, no one had held my as you do."

He bent down and kissed me, wrapping a hand around the base of my skull to hold me to him. He barely opened his mouth, his breath caught me and I was lost, but he held me so I could not devour those lips. Then ever so gently, I felt his cold tongue slide across my lips. My breath caught and I darted my tongue out from between my lips, but his was already gone.

He laughed darkly as I opened my eyes. "You really are simple."

I scowled at him, "If you really want to wait, why did you do that?"

He looked at me, "Lay down Bella, it's time for the human to sleep."

I did as I was told.

Edward's tongue flicked out towards my throat, licking the vein that dwelled beneath my skin. He licked until he got to my lips and my tongue caught his. They dance outside our mouths, careful not to get too lost in the kiss and risk me getting his venom. His hand trailed down the side of my bodies to the tops of my jeans. He stroked my stomach, and then undid the button of my jeans. He looked into my eyes and I could read the desire in his eyes; he bent and kissed my full on my mouth while he undid the zipper.

Soon enough I was divested of my pants and all I had on was one of Edward's button down shirts and my pair of underwear. He went to my neck, kissing and sucking on it and my hands went to his shirt, unbuttoning it-

"Bella, love, wake up. Wake up Bella."

I woke up and looked up into the eyes of Edward. They looked darker than his normal honey.

His eyes flicked downand I followed. My hand was inside my sleep wants as well as my underwear. I gave my fingersa wiggle and blushed. I pulled my hands from pants and went to wipe them on the sheets, but Edward caught my wrist and brought it to his nose, inhaling deeply. What surprised me the most was when his tongue licked the fingers clean.

Next thing I know hands were tearing at everything and we were soon left naked, save for his boxers. I glanced down and could not tell his state, but my nudity overwhelmed me and I tried to cover myself, but failed to.

"Bella, you are perfect. Perhaps baby steps are what we do need. I mean, I don't know what to expect and when it comes down to the final act I don't want to run screaming for the hills because I can't control myself."

He kissed me deeply, something we have never done before, but it was fleeting. He pulled back and looked down the line of my body, my nipples hard from the coolness of his skin. I could hear him swallow and he looked back up into my eyes and sat up.

He sat between my legs, his eyes never trailed below my breasts, but his hands however made small circles on my legs above my knees. He took his one and cupped my right breast. My breath caught and his hand disappeared. He clutched at his hair with both his hands, clearly distressed.

"I don't know if I can do this."

This is more than I could ever imagine. "Its fine, baby steps, that's all."

Gaining control, both his hands returned to my body, starting from my neck. Both touched my breasts this time, then they scraped across my nipple. I let out a shuddering breath and he was on my, kissing me and sucking me again. This time however, his body covering mine, I shuddered at the skin contact, not the cold. It was only then that I felt something hard and cold in the crevice of my leg.

His mouth disappeared and reappeared on the swell of my breast; kissing lightly, then a flash of tongue. He reached my nipple and I gave a small scream. It tightened my entire body and sent an electric jolt.

He looked up and gave a wicked smile. I went to move and arm to hit him, but the movement made me once again aware of his erection, because he sucked in a hissing breath himself and twitched a little.

My hand came up and touched his white marble chest. I trailed my fingers to his nipples and he closed his eyes and tilted his head forward. He was breathing more heavily than he had been when he finished Victoria off. Taking it as a good sign I let my hands wander further. They met with a dark trail of hair that disappeared into his boxers. I went there.

His hands grabbed mine and held them above my head. "I'm not done yet."

With that, he paid a little more attention to my breasts then trailed lower, dipping his tongue into my belly button. My hips came off the bed and I moaned. My lower area had come into contact with his skin and the coolness felt good against the heat of it. He was just above my dark curls when he bounded off the bed.

I sat stunned on the bed, staring at him. Not because he was no longer there, but because his boxers showed just how much he wanted me.

He looked back at me, looking on the verge of tears, completely unaware at what held my attention.

"Bella, look at me."

I did.

"I may be unable to stop myself if I do what I want to right now. I need you to let me know, that if this escalates and I do stop that or if I don't stop then it's fine."

"Edward, I love you, of course it's okay. Do what you want with me, just give me anything."

Without being asked twice, he was back on the bed in a blinding blur. He did not kiss me, but he looked at me as his hands trailed up my thighs to my center. I could feel his coldness upon my curls and then there it was. His finger trailed up my vagina, over that sweet spot and was gone. I opened my eyes, I had not known I closed them and his finger was ion his mouth.

"You're so good, Bella. This is quite possibly even better tasting than your blood."

I blushed and his hands gripped around my waist and pulled me to the edge of the bed, while he slid off on to the floor. I could see his smile, just from the look in his eyes.

Then his hands were back. I felt them upon my lips, spread the curls that were there. Then I felt a slender finger, so very cold, breaching my entrance. I sat up and watched.

His eyes were like the first time I saw them. They were black and held a fascination. He did not mind me sitting up and he continued to push his finger into me. I felt it all the way inside me and felt it curve as he pulled out. He scraped across something inside and I convulsed. He did it again, this time less hesitant. He built his rhythm and I was soon lying on my back and I came to be touching my breasts.

There was a cold, wetness down below with the fingers and I sat up and looked. Edward had added his tongue to the sweet spot. I could feel my body heading towards what would be my first orgasm, but something was missing.

"I want to touch you, Edward."

He froze. "I don't think that's wise, Bella."

I used my weapon, "Please, Edward, please, let me touch you. Please."

He gave a low growl and all to quick he was next time me, on the bed, sitting that the edge. He gripped the sheets next to him and gave a curt nod.

"Go on Bella. Touch me. I need to feel it just as much as you."

I did as was told. I got on my knees in front of him and stared. How do I do this?

He gave a pained noise and with one had ripped his boxers away. I was left staring at his erection. I looked up and his eyes were staring right back at me.

I tentatively started to slide my hand up his leg; my eyes did not leave his. I felt something move beneath my hands and he locked his jaw tight and I looked down. His testicles were drawn up close to his body, they were just as white and he and the dark hair surrounding them was a big contract. I cupped his testicles. Felt the weight of them in my hand, and then set my eyes on another target. I gripped his penis and his body, like mine, convulsed. I slid my hand up his shaft and he breathed heavily, bucking into my touch.

"Move your hand faster, please."

And I did. I had a firm grip and I started to stroke it, up and down. I added my second hand in there to fondle his testicles.

I thought then that a meteor had hid and the world was no more.

Edward Cullen moaned.

Taking that as a good sign, I leaned forward and licked the tip. His hands flew to my hair and gripped. Then they pulled and my mouth slid further around his penis.

I continued like this and soon my one had left his testicles and I started to fondle myself. This must have been too much for Edward, for he pulled me up and kissed me hard.

"I don't know if I can finish with you like that. I mean I can, but I don't think it's safe."

"What do you think we should do?"

"You finish yourself and I'll finish myself, just so I know what it feels like. Just so I don't hurt you."

"Okay," I said and we laid down side by side.

My hand went to my breast and twisted a nipple while the other trailed down my body and I buried them between my legs. This was going to my first orgasm, might as well do it myself so I can tell him how later. I closed my eyes and let my millions of years of human evolution guide my inexperience. My hand found the sweet spot and I rubbed in circular motions, I let my legs fall open from their drawn up position. I plunged a finger into my wet vagina and something seemed to be missing, I needed more, so I slipped a second one in. It was almost too much, but it filled me like I need it to. I moaned out.

Edward gave a low growl and I looked over at him. His eyes were on my hands, seeing that I now had to fingers inside me, pumping towards my release. I got daring and turned around so he could see what I was doing. I was on display for him, and his eyes were only fixated on my glistening fingers hammering in and out of me more fast now. I opened my eyes and saw the complete abandon on his face; his penis seemed a little pink now as he rode his hand hard and fast. I took my fingers out and reached over and took him in my hand, his hand that was removed found my opening and started thrusting away.

I felt my body tighten around his fingers and he noticed because he looked at me with an intense feral look. His hand went away and he took my hand of his penis and we went back to self pleasuring ourselves. I dipped my two fingers in and pulled them out and started rubbing, my hips thrusting against my hand.

So close, nearly there.

Then I heard his breathing hitch and that undid me. I cusped my first orgasm and my hand plunged back into me rubbing along the inner walls; clamping down. Edward threw my hand away and shoves his fingers into me, feeling the pulsing going in and he screamed.

I sat straight up, afraid that something at hurt him and seen what was happening.

He was sitting up, knees slightly bent, but still on the bed and his penis pulsed with life. Thick, white globs of fluid cascaded from the tip, which looked red now and his hand was a blur. He spurted and went for what seemed like an eternity until it drizzled out over his hands.

I twisted back around and kissed him.

"Was that enough to satiate your curiosity for a while?"

"I think it might have been."

He chuckled, "I wanted to take you, you know, when your orgasm hit."

I gave a half hearted laugh, I was tired, "You should have."


"I know, I know, marriage. I love you Edward."

"I love you too, Bella. Now go to sleep."

And I did. As I was drifting off to sleep I could have sworn I heard someone laughing from down stairs and someone scolding that laughter.


Author's Note: Okay, I hope you enjoyed the story. I realize it's a little long, but if you stayed with me, feedback would be greatly appreciated.