Disclaimer: I own neither Naruto nor Harry Potter.

Warnings: HP/Naruto crossover, male/male pairing, fluff

This is an idea for a crossover that has spooked around in my head for quite some time, so I decided to give it a try.


Itachi looked around the bustling street with curious eyes. It was rare that a mission to the Outside was assigned to a Genin team and he wanted to learn as much as he could about the people who lived here.

So far the young Uchiha heir was far from impressed. The city he and his team were staying in was huge, but inhuman. It seemed like the size of the city had only increased people's disinterest in caring for each other. Just yesterday he had watched as a young woman was assaulted by a group of young men and no one had come to her rescue or even reacted to her screams for help.

The day before that he had watched as a young schoolboy had been thrashed within an inch of his life and the other people had just passed by his crumbled and bloodied form without a second glance.

He knew that the people of the Hidden Continent could be just as cruel as the people here, he was a shinobi, an embodiment of that cruelty, but people still cared about each other. Well, perhaps not in his clan, certainly not the Hyuuga clan, but all the other clans seemed to care deeply for each of their members.

His team's mission had been completed three days ago, but Kaoru-sensei had had a separate solo mission to complete, so they would be staying here till their team leader had finished his mission successfully.

Till then the three Genin were free to do as they liked. Since Itachi didn't care too much for his team mates, he went out alone, not interested in what kinds of pleasure and entertainments could be found in this strange, cold city with all those towers that nearly touched the sky.

Deciding to watch the people in one of the "malls"(...as far as he could tell some kind of inside market), where it would at least be warmer than outside, Itachi walked into the next mall he could find, went up the moving stairs and sat down on a bench.

He had learned early on, that a child of his age that was unaccompinied could run into trouble in the form of the rare well-meaning adult or concerned policeman. To avoid that kind of unwanted attention, Itachi used a henge that gave him the appearance of a middle aged man with short brown hair, dark brown eyes and non-descriptive features, wearing a gray business suit.

During the last couple of months Itachi had detected a growing hollowness inside him. Sometimes it seemed like he was just a spectator of his own life, looking in from the outside; he didn't feel nearly as many emotions as before his graduation anymore and the only time he did feel anything strongly, it was always related to his little infant brother.

After reading up on the phenomena, he had come to an astonishing conclusion: he was unhappy enough to totally remove himself emotionally from the happenings of his life. Itachi didn't want to become an emotionless, unhappy tool of his clan, so he went in search of a solution.

It was an old, seedy bar, when a retired shinobi grinned at him and told him that to be happy as a shinobi one had to have a spouse who welcomed one warmly back after every mission and made one want to come back alive. The old man had been heavily intoxicated; nonetheless Itachi had gone and investigated his claim.

After spying on and talking to several married shinobi (...always in disguise), Itachi had come to a startling conclusion: the old man had been right.

If he wanted to be happy and live a long life, all Itachi had to do was to get married to someone he loved. He knew that his father would prefer for his heir to settle for an arranged marriage that would further their clan's power, so he had kept his intentions to marry and his search for a suitable spouse a secret.

Sadly no one in Konoha had even so much as caught his eye. After reading countless books on the topic Itachi knew exactly which traits he desired his spouse to have: his spouse had to be younger, preferably by one to two years (...statistics claimed it to be the ideal age difference for spouses), smaller than him, kind-hearted, warm, loving, loyal and pretty.

Loud shouting drew his attention back to the outside. A large, overweight man, whose face was an unhealthy shade of red, held a small, waif-like child at its shoulders, shaking it violently, before tossing it away, pointing sternly at the benches. Then he turned around to a boy that looked as wide as he was tall and a thin horse-like woman and led them into one of the many shops, without even once looking back at the child he had assaulted minutes ago.

The waif had wild black hair and skin as pale as Itachi's. It wore loose trousers that were held up by a fraying piece of rope and an ugly gray jumper that was huge enough to nearly swallow the waif.

He stared as the small child made its way to his bench, clambering onto it, the jumper falling off one bone shoulder. Impulsively Itachi took one of the tiny hands into his bigger on and helped the waif up onto the bench. When the child looked up into his face and smiled thankfully, Itachi's heart stopped beating for a moment, before continuing in a much faster pace than ever before.

The waif had the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen. They were a deep, dark emerald and shone with warmth and kindness.

"Thank you." The waif said in a strange language, but Itachi didn't care about that, he only heard the melodious soprano voice, fully entranced by the marvellous creature in front of his eyes.

Keeping hold of the waif's hand, Itachi smiled back and replied: "It was nothing."

The other child tilted its head questioningly, obviously not understanding the words. Well, Itachi would not be deterred by something as minor as a language barrier. The other child fascinated him and he was determined to get to know it better, a well thought out plan already taking form in his mind.

Determined he pointed at himself and said: "Itachi." Then he pointed at the waif and raised an eyebrow.

The other child seemed to be quite bright, because it understood Itachi's question at once. Smile brightening it chirped: "Harry."

"Nice to meet you, Harri-chan." Itachi greeted, slightly bowing his head. Harry seemed confused at the gesture at first, but then bowed back, responding in his own language. "Nice to meet you, Itachi."

Harry hummed happily, his small legs whipping back and forth beneath the bench, and watched the bustling shoppers walking past their bench. Itachi was pleased, the child obviously liked his presence and didn't seem to mind that he was still holding one of its hands captive in a warm grip.

There was only one bit of information he still needed, before he could decide whether or not to proceed with his plan. Casting a small area genjutsu, Itachi dropped his henge, than pointed at himself and held up seven fingers. "I'm seven years old. How old are you?"

Undisturbed by the dropped illusion, Harry looked at Itachi, trying to understand Itachi's latest attempt at mimicry. His green eyes narrowed in concentration, Harry finally held up five of his own fingers and replied: "I'm five years old."

Pleased beyond words, Itachi ruffled the younger child's hair. Harry was startled by the contact, but soon leaned into the soft patting, nestling into Itachi.

While they waited silently for what he guessed was Harry's guardian to return, Itachi took out a scroll and started to write out a formal contract, then signed it with his blood. Next he took out a pouch filled to the brim with precious gems (...it was always better to have an alternative to money, since one never knew when one needed to bribe someone), counted them and nodded.

He had enough to make an honourable offer.

Three hours later, it was already dark outside, Harry's guardian returned, with the horse like woman and the fat boy in tow. The man scowled when he saw Harry sitting with an older, native gentleman and made to grab the child, babbling in that strange language. "I'm so sorry, I always tell the freak not to bother decent folks, but he never listens."

Not liking the tone the man took, Itachi quickly took hold of Harry and put him behind him, safely hidden from grapping hands. A hard gleam had stolen into Itachi's eyes and he regretted that he would have to be polite to the boorish man.

Marginally bowing his head at the man, Itachi said: "Good evening. My name is Uchiha Itachi. I would like to ask for Harry's hand in marriage." Presenting the scroll and the pouch, he pulled Harry next to him, then gestured at the end of the contract where his signature already resided.

The man frowned in confusion, obviously stupefied at Itachi's actions. Then the horse like woman gasped and whispered furiously into her husband's ear. An ugly light lit in the man's eyes and he prompted Itachi to open the pouch by brandishing his arm.

Itachi opened the pouch with deft fingers, showing its sparkling content. Greedily the man reached for the pouch, but Itachi swiftly closed it again and pulled his arm back. Pointing at the scroll, Itachi cut his finger and mimicked writing his name. Paling dramatically at the sight of blood, the man broke out into a whispered, but intense discussion with his wife.

Finally, with pale faces, both the man and the woman signed their names in blood, then ordered a confused Harry to do the same. With a satisfied nod, Itachi took the scroll back and handed the man his price.

Smiling down at Harry, he said: "Let's go home, Harri-koishii."

Ignoring the gaping group of three in their back and Harry's wide eyes, he swept his new spouse into his arms, cast a genjutsu to hide them from all eyes and raced back to his team's base.