It's impossible, completely inconceivable, and absolutely ridiculous. C/B. Chuck's feelings during the confession.
AN: Hope you enjoy this one! Just a thought I had when I watched the confession about 55 times. I wondered why he shook like that when she finally said it. I wondered how he felt…
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Love – Sacredlimo417
It's impossible, completely inconceivable, and absolutely ridiculous. He can hardly believe himself. He didn't know his heart had the capacity for this.
Today of all days, the day of his father's funeral, is the day she decides to confess.
Today, he's on the brink of insanity. Today, he's pushing his loved ones, the ones he's wanted for so long, far, far away. Today, he's drinking himself into a coma. And today, she's ready.
TODAY, she's ready. Not a month ago, when he'd committed every moment to chasing her down. Not when they broke up on the dance floor and she took his heart with him. No, today; the day he's as broken as he can possible get.
He limped out of The Palace, praying he could just get out unnoticed and make his way back to his mini-bar, when he heard her voice. He turned slowly. He could not be near her now.
"Chuck, wait! Don't go. Or if you have to leave, let me come with you."
He stares at her in shock, as if it was a possibility. As if he was even capable of being near anyone, especially her, right now. He needed to be alone. The closer people were to him, the more hurt they got. The father away she was, the better.
"I appreciate your concern."
"No, you don't. You don't appreciate anything today. But I don't care."
He wondered if this girl, this incredible beauty he keeps at an arm's length, could possibly know him any better.
"Whatever you're going through, I want to be there for you."
His heart aches and his mind clouds, because he knows her well enough to tell when she's lying. She's not. He wishes, for her sake that she was.
"We've talked about this. You are not my girlfriend."
His heart aches worse, because by trying not to hurt her, he still has to hurt her. He must push everyone away to make sure his life doesn't play out like his fathers'. He doesn't want people hurting when he's gone. In a Bass's life, there is no winning.
"But I am me. And you're you. We're Chuck and Blair; Blair and Chuck. The worst thing you've ever done; the darkest thought you've ever had…I will stand by you through anything."
"And why would you do that?"
He holds his breath. He knows Blair Waldorf, better than he should, and he knows what's next.
"Because I…I love you."
It's impossible, completely inconceivable, and absolutely ridiculous. He can hardly believe himself. He didn't know his heart had the capacity for this. Today is the day of his father's funeral. He's spent days in complete and utter misery. And yet here he stands, and he's still capable of falling even more in love with Blair Waldorf than he already had. All with three simple words. His heart throbbed, and he was so weak he shook in the slight winter wind. He was afraid to look at her, afraid to see the undeniable truth in her big coffee eyes. Still, he did, and he could see that she was feeling the exact same way. Weak. Vulnerable. In desperate need of reassurance.
He had to get out of here. He couldn't handle it. He couldn't handle the most dreaded event of his life and the most longed for in the same day. He was sure he'd burst any second now, and the proximity of Blair's pouty red lips to his was about to drive him insane. He needed to escape. Now.
"Well, that's too bad."
Having Chuck Bass be completely in love with you could have severe consequences.
He stormed into the limo and drove off, determined to forget any of this ever happened. Mini-bar, here I come.
After a week like this, Chuck Bass never thought he'd think these words, but they were true. Lily is right.
He couldn't go on, pushing all his loved ones away like this. Eric looked up to him. Lily considered him a son. Serena tolerated him. And Blair….well, Blair Waldorf was in love with him.
He couldn't keep doing this; treating her like he wasn't in love with her, too. Like he didn't value her. Like she wasn't his entire world.
She was the absolute most important person to him. He knew he'd spent almost a year denying it, but Blair was the one.
He needed her. She was the only one capable of fixing what his father had broken.
It was this realization that had him in Blair Waldorf's arms, rocking back and forth, crying like a child. Her tiny, delicate arms held him together, heart and soul. She was there for him.
Blair was just like that. It didn't matter that her mother was getting married in the other room, or that he'd basically cast off her confession when he'd known how hard it was for her to say. She was here for him, regardless. She loved him unconditionally. Every time she squeezes his shoulder a little harder, or whispers that he'll be okay in his ear, he falls a little harder for her. He's beginning to think that Blair Waldorf loving him the way he loves her isn't so impossible after all.