Title: Hot as sin

Autor: Swing-21

Rated: R

Summary: Perfect life, perfect wife, perfect kids, Dib had too much to loose for a one-night stand with a pretty boy. Even if it would fill that alien-shaped void inside him. Slash alert, don't like, don't read, don't whine.

Disclaimer: Invader Zim and its characters belong to Jhonen Vasquez and Nickelodeon. I make no profit from this. Heh, I wish.

Author's note: I hated the first ending, so I rewrote it. I don't hate it so much anymore. Also, I have no beta-reader for this, because it was mainly written to get me out of my writer's block. Please forgive any weird phrasing or typos.

* * *

The lights were blinding, the smoke was acrid, the music was trash, and the people good looking, but that meant nothing to him anymore. Yes, sure, they were young and deliciously beautiful, dressed in clothing that left nothing to the imagination, but the novelty of that had disappeared with time.

He was used to sit in a shaded corner of the bar and silently watch the hot and young gay crowd move with the beat. He'd been doing this since he turned twenty-five, since he managed to find the guts to assume his homosexuality and go to the first gay place he could find.

But he never found the guts to tell his wife. Or their kids.

He frowned at his mug of beer. That was five years ago, he should have found the courage to at least come out to someone. But no, of course not. Gaz wouldn't care, and he didn't care about her opinion either. He didn't even know where she lived anymore, she kept moving from one city to another, working in some huge game-related project she refused to talk about. And their dad… was the same as usual. He hadn't even seen his father in months. Last he'd heard of the man was the recorded Christmas wishes they received every year. Of course, every year, it was the exact same recording, but his kids were too young to notice it.

Yeah, the kids, that was the main reason for his silence. He didn't knew them that well, because it was mostly his wife that took care of them, but they were good kids. At eight and six, they were already growing further away from him that he'd been at first. He'd never…

'Is the beer here so awful?' asked a voice.

He lifted his head to discover that the stool next to him had been taken by one of the sinful beauties that haunted the place. Tall, short blond hair, eyes to die for and a smirk that was perfectly aware of all that.

'Huh… what?

'That beer. You've been frowning at it for the last twenty-minutes.'

'…You've been watching?'

The stranger just smirked.

'I know you,' said the blond young man.

'You're probably thinking about my dad. That's his face on the twenty dollars bills, not mine.'

'You look a lot like him. I thought that you were him, at first sight.'

'And that's why you came to see me?' asked Dib with a twinge of bitterness.

'I said at first glance. Not afterwards.'

Dib lifted an eyebrow and said nothing. Sure, the kid was sexy, but he probably just wanted to live a twisted fantasy and sleep with someone that was almost Professor Membrane. He'd had his share of women, and some men, that had come to him with that suggestion.

'So, what's your name, kid?' he asked, making sure to put emphasis on the kid.

'My name is of no importance here. But you can call me Sin.'

'Sin,' repeated Dib with a deadpan voice.

The boy pointed the pink letters on his black shirt, that clearly stated 'Hot as Sin'. Dib smirked.

'Yeah, kid, if that's what you want, I'll call you Sin. Afraid some people will discover your presence here? Not came out to your parents, yet?'

'Neither have you,' said Sin with a raised eyebrow.

'What?' exclaimed Dib. 'Wha- How did you know?'

'Figured it out. It's not on every newspaper front page, after all.'

'Bullshit, I'm never on the news. Most people aren't even aware that the great professor Membrane has a son. Even less a gay one.'

'But you're still…. How do they say it, 'in the closet'?'

'I'm married, of course I'm still in the closet.'

'Wait, you're married?' asked Sin with some evident shock in his voice.

Dib lifted a hand and showed the simple golden band, a little tarnished with the years.

'I also have two kids, if you must know.'

'Then, why are you here?' asked Sin, a little bit put out. 'Don't people come here to flirt and frolic and whatever they do in these places?'

'New to the gay scene?'

'Yes! So what?'

'It shows. How old are you, kid?'

'It's Sin, not kid,' hissed the young one. 'And I'm not telling you my age, either.'

'Underage, then,' sighed Dib. 'What a surprise.'

Sin lifted his chin defiantly and ordered a shooter of vodka. He then gulped it and turned back to Dib with a challenging smirk.

'Still not impressed,' said Dib. 'Come on, go and dance with the younger ones, I'm too old and depressed to be of any good company.'

'I don't like to dance,' said Sin with a disgusted sneer at the crowd. 'They're all smelly and sweaty. Also, I hate the groping hands. You never know who they belong to.'

'You're awfully picky for someone who was hitting on me a couple of minutes ago.'

'I wasn't hitting on you,' said Sin petulantly. 'I was merely making conversation.'

'If it was conversation you were looking for, then why talk to the creepy guy at the bar? There's plenty of beautiful people around, go for them, kid!'

'For your information, Dib,' said the teenager, putting emphasis on the B, 'I've been sitting three stools away for a good part of the night.'

'You were?'

'Yes. I also am outraged to see that you didn't even notice my incredible presence.'

'Sorry kid, wasn't watching the crowd tonight…'

'That, I can see. Too busy drowning your wife into your alcohol.'

'I'm not… not really.'

Sin lifted a blond eyebrow and pointed Dib's mug of beer.

'I've seen you drink three of those, and that's since I got here. She must be terrible, that wife of yours.'

'She's not,' protested Dib with a frown. 'She's actually nice, and pretty, and smart, too.'

'Your father chose her for you.'

'No, he didn't, I-'

'It wasn't a question.'

Dib frowned and gulped what was left of his beer, and asked the barman for something stronger. He took that moment to think, and when he started talking again, it was with a dull voice, devoid of any life.

'I'd been working at my Dad's lab for a couple of weeks, and she got hired at the same department. All the other scientists pretended she had her eye on me, so I said "why not?" and asked her out. And she's indeed all I said: smart, funny, beautiful, sweet… Everything a man could wish for.'

'Not all men, for what I gather,' said Sin, pointing a lazy finger towards the dancing crowd.

'I didn't know, at that moment,' shrugged Dib. 'She was what I thought I wanted. The perfect girlfriend. Soon turned out to be the perfect wife, then, the perfect mother.'

Sin pulled a face, but Dib didn't know if it was because of what he said, or because of the new vodka shooter the youngster had just gulped down.

'Easy with those, kid. They're treacherous.'

'I can handle that,' smirked the young one. 'Do tell me about your perfect life, I'm dying to know.'

'Don't make fun of me,' warned Dib.

'Oh, I'm not!'

'You are, I can tell. That kind of thing can happen to anyone, even you.'

'What kind of…'


Sin scoffed and called for another shooter.

'Not to me,' he said disdainfully.

'That's what I thought of myself, when I was your age,' said Dib. 'I was young, full of ideals, ready to change the world, completely in love with the worst person ever…'

'Guy or girl?' smirked Sin.


The younger man pulled a face between confusion, shock and hilarity. Dib cut him before he could choose between all three.

'Another thing not most people know about Membrane's kid: he's insane,' frowned Dib.

'…you were in love with…' started the teenager.

'An alien, yes. Now, you either leave, convinced that I'm batshit crazy, and I won't resent you. Or you stay to hear the tale. Your choice.'

Sin muttered an unsure "I'll stay" and drowned another shooter.

'Nobody ever believed me about the alien invasion,' said Dib with bitterness. 'No matter how much proof I brought them, they refused to even listen. Heck, I could have thrown a live alien at their feet and they would have found "scientific explanations". Anything but to admit that I could be right.'

'But, about this particular alien…' said Sin with prompting hand motions.

'My worst enemy,' said Dib with a dark smile. 'A hell of an arch nemesis. A formidable opponent. The only one that gave any kind of meaning to my life, and I only admitted it to myself when it was too late. He'd left Earth, never to return, and left me to my miserable human life.'

'Bitter much?' asked Sin.

'You have no idea,' growled Dib. 'With him gone, I had lost interest in the paranormal, and in life in general. I started studying "real science", and it made my dad so happy that I just couldn't go back to what I was before. I'd become… normal.'

'Scary thought,' admitted Sin with a shudder. 'Then, you got married, had two kids, and lived the blissful married life if one doesn't count your escapades to a gay bar.'

Dib only gulped down the remainder of his beer. He was about to say something, when he frowned, and took a buzzing cell-phone from his pocket. He threw a look at the caller ID, frowned, threw a sideway glance at Sin, and seemed to think for a moment. Then, just before the third buzz stopped, he opened the cell and answered, pressing his hand against his other ear.

'Hey, what's up, baby?' he almost yelled into the phone. 'I'm sorry, listen, I'm gonna be late tonight, don't stay up and wait for me, okay? I know, but I found an old school friend and we were thinking of going to a place nearby- Wait, say that again? Can't hear you, my battery must be low – What? I hear nothing- Bye baby, gotta go!'

He hung up, his face divided between a dark smile and bitterness. He finally chose the smirk, and turned back to Sin.

'That's a problem solved, at least for now,' he said.

'Was that your wife?' snickered Sin.

'Yes, it was. I feel kinda low, lying to her like that, so I hope you'll make it worth my while.'

Sin took in the predatory look that was aimed right at him, and shivered. His hand gripped his last glass and he realized that it was empty.

'What are you talking about?' he said, a bit unsure.

'You know what I mean,' said Dib, leaning forward a bit. 'There must be a reason why you spent the night talking to me, looking so hot and drowning shot after shot. Tell me, Sin, what was your goal, tonight?'

Sin backed up a bit, not liking the sudden closeness and the way Dib's breath reeked of beer. But he was too drunk himself at the moment to stop this, and there was a pull inside his guts that just wanted to surrender to the older man's hungry stare.

'I wanted… to talk… that's all…' muttered Sin, but Dib was close enough he could hear him over the music.

'Liar,' whispered Dib next to his golden hair.

The teenager didn't protest when Dib pulled him to his feet, stabilized him, and steered him out of the dancing crowd. He was kept close to the older man's body, and realized he just couldn't say no to those imperative hands. He blinked once, and found himself in the dark alleyway behind the bar, hidden from view by the dumpster. The smell was atrocious, but it was somehow overpowered by Dib's unique and strong masculine smell. The older man had placed both hands next to Sin's head and was leaning forward, a wicked smile in his face.

'Trapped,' he chuckled. 'What a delicious prey.'

'What are you going to do to me?' asked Sin in a shaky voice.

'Oh, don't worry, I'm not gonna rape you,' chuckled Dib. 'You know you can go away whenever you want. But…'


'But you're still here,' said Dib, licking his lips.

'… Yes. Yes I am.'

Sin grabbed Dib's shirt, and pulled him forward in one swift motion, crashing their lips together. Suddenly, it was a tangle of tongues, of hands, bodies pressed forward, short breath, and all form of thought was lost. The teenager was pressed against the wall by the bigger and stronger body. They would have gone further if there hadn't been the sudden blinding light.

'Hey, you two!' snapped the bouncer who found them. 'This is private property! Go get a room before I call the cops!'

They separated, both flushed and panting. Sin pulled down his t-shirt, and Dib wiped his lips with the back of his hand. The teenager walked by the bouncer with a malevolent glare, but Dib couldn't keep a smirk from his face.

'Just make sure he's of age,' grunted the bouncer, pointing at Sin.

'He is,' said Dib.

'You coming?' yelled Sin impatiently, already far from the club.

'Demanding little bastard,' whispered Dib to himself, walking to join him.

They walked side by side, in silence, trying not to stumble too much into other people. Sin shivered from the cold night air, and Dib had the gallant reaction to place his coat over his frail shoulders. Sin looked at him weirdly.

'I don't understand you,' he admitted with a frown.

'It's called gallantry,' shrugged Dib.

'No, I mean, yes, exactly! Gallantry! Ten minutes ago, you were ready to fuck me in the back alley of a bar, and now you're all nice to me! I don't get it!'

'Geez, your previous lovers must have been jerks.'

'I'd rather not talk about it.'


'None of your business!'

Dib snorted, and they walked side by side for a moment. Sin seemed deep in thought, shooting glances at Dib once in a while.

'I think I'll go,' muttered the teenager.

'No, you won't.'

'Yes! This is a mistake, I shouldn't be here, and even less with you! Forget this, it's stupid, it shouldn't happen, I'm going home.'

'Home where?' asked Dib in a cold voice, grabbing his arm suddenly.

'What, so you get to walk me home? And stalk me? I don't think-'

'I asked, home where? Your base or Irk?'

Sin stood there a moment, speechless, and finally thought of snapping his arm back.

'What? What did you say?'

'I'm asking if you're thinking of leaving me again, Zim,' said Dib, ice dripping from his words.

'You must be mistaken, I'm not your alien! You're delusional!'

Dib growled, grabbed the front of his t-shirt and slammed him into the nearest wall.

'Don't lie to me,' he growled. 'Don't fuck with me. Don't think you have the right to waltz back into my life, tear it apart and walk away without consequences. I won't LET YOU LEAVE ME AGAIN!'

Sin seemed to sag into Dib's hands, and frowned at the floor.

'This hologram is supposed to be flawless,' hissed Zim.

'Give me some credit, I can recognize you through any hologram,' said Dib, slowly letting go of the shirt. His hands fell on Zim's waist and stayed there, as if afraid that the alien would try to bolt at any moment.

'You've been making fun of me all night long,' snapped Zim.

'No, I wasn't. All I told you was the truth.'


'Yes, Zim, even that.'


'That too.'

'And even-'

Dib kissed him again, to shut him up. And Zim realized that maybe the serpentine tongue had given him away, too. When they parted, the alien was frowning his holographic blue eyes.

'Now, what?'

'We go back to your base?' suggested Dib, lifting his eyebrows.

'You're such a human,' said Zim, narrowing his eyes.

'We can also talk. I do hope you got a good excuse for leaving me, and a better one for coming back.'

'That's none of your business, Dib.'

'If I'm about to leave my wife for you, it better be for a good reason, Zim.'

'You- you're going to leave your perfect wife? And perfect job, perfect life, perfect kids?'

'Well, I do feel bad for the kids. But I guess I'll see them on weekends… It'll be more than what they're used to.'

'What if I say we're going into space?'

'We're not.'

'…We're not,' admitted Zim with bitterness.

Dib lifted him back again to his feet, and started walking and pulling him at the same time.

'You'll have a great deal to tell me,' smiled Dib.

'And you're heading right towards my base even though I never told you where I placed it, this time,' said Zim with a frown.

'Zim,' said Dib with a hearty laugh, 'My computer spotted your ship the second it entered Earth's atmosphere. I've been waiting for you to show up for the last three weeks!'

'…You knew,' said Zim with a cold voice.

'Of course I did,' chuckled Dib. 'Now, how about we get you home so we can catch back all the lost years, hm?' he asked, lifting his eyebrows.

Zim smiled maliciously and…

* * *

'What's that guy's deal?'

'I don't know, he's been staring at you for the last ten minutes.'


'Yeah, and he's like, so old!'

'I asked the barman about him, said that guy was married, had kids, white picket fence house, that kinda stuff, but he spends all his Fridays here, drooling at the boys.'

'Total closet case, if you ask me.'

'A real creep, yeah.'
'I think it's sad. The barman also told me about his long lost love, said the guy sometimes talked about it. Seems it was a love-hate kinda thing, like you see in the movies, but then the other guy left and never came back…'

'Hey! Maybe he thinks you look like him, that's why he keeps staring!'

'Hugh, please, no thank you! Old farts aren't my type. Come on, let's get away from here, he's smiling at me now. Creeeeeeep…'

Dib watched the young blond man and his friends walk away, without really seeing them. He was still lost in a beer induced daydream about an alien in disguise, a long lost love coming back for him, a chance to escape his golden prison.

At the end of the night, he would walk away from the bar to go back to an unfamiliar house. He'd go back to normalcy for another week. He would survive, again. He'd play the game. And maybe, this week would be the week where Zim would really come back for him. Or just come back, that would be enough.

The Real End.

Author's note: I have no idea where this came from. Inspirational credits to the Backstreet Boys for their song The Call, The Medic Droid for Fer Sure, and BloodHound Gang for Unh Tiss Unh Tiss Unh Tiss.