AN: Hey there, The List readers!

Wuz up, my home dogs?

--holds hand up for high five--

--slowly puts it down, realizing what I just wrote-


Blame the chocolate.

Disclaimer: SM owns everything.


"How about 'The List of Awesomeness?"

"No, Jasper."

"What about 'Jasper made this List, so it's awesome'?"

A sigh.

"No, Jasper."

"The List of Crazy Cool Stuff to Do Before We're Thirty?"

"No, Jasper."

"Thirty Things to Do Before We're Thirty?"

"Here's a shocker: No."

Bella ignored Rosalie and Jasper.

"Come on, Rosalie!" Jasper pleaded. "It has to have a cooler name then 'the List'! It's so boring!"

"Hey!" said Rosalie. "I came up with that name. Are you insinuating that I'm boring?"

Bella giggled. Jasper shifted his eyes around the room.

"Of course not, dear Rosalie."

A pause.

"How about 'Jasper Is A God And Everyone Loves Him'?"

Rosalie threw a shoe at him.


"So, how are we even going to get to New York?" Bella asked. She shifted on the hotel bed that she was on and looked at Jasper. "I'm curious. Are we just gonna take the shortest route there, or what?"

Jasper grinned at her. He motioned her over to the map that was spread out on the table that he was looking at and Bella approached it. Jasper traced a finger through the routed they were going to take and started to speak to Bella.

"We're going to go south, through California, then go east until we hit Florida. We're going to hang around there for a few days, then drive north to New York. From there, we're going to go shopping-" Jasper rolled his eyes. "-then depending on what other numbers have been added to the List, we might either drive home, or go even farther north."

"How long is this going to take?"

Jasper shrugged. "Not entirely sure, to be honest. It all depends on where we stop, when we eat, when we sleep. There's a lot of things that might affect the timing."

"So, this is completely unpredictable, spontaneous, and probably going to get us in trouble with someone?" Bella asked.

"Yes, ma'am."

"I like it."


"So,you guys want to do anything?" Bella asked Rosalie and Jasper. They had rented out one hotel room with two beds; Rosalie and Bella were going to share one, while Jasper got the other one for himself. Currently, they were curled up together on one of beds and watching TV.

"Well, Number 25 is. . . " Rosalie bit her lip to try and hide her smile. "You know what? I think it'd be better to just show you.

Five minutes later, Rosalie walked out of the hotel bathroom, wearing only her bathing suit. Bella blinked at her.

"I don't get it."

Rosalie giggled. "I'm not done yet!"

She walked over to the fridge, opened the door and examined it's contents. She frowned and went over the phone. Rosalie dialed room service, and asked the person who answered for something Bella could not hear. A few minutes after Rosalie had hung up the phone, someone knocked on the door. Rosalie sautered over to the door, and yanked it open, not bothering to cover herself up. The boy at the door gawked at Rosalie.

"Um, here's what you ordered, miss. . ." The boy shoved something into Rosalie's arms and ran out of the doorway. Rosalie watched him go down the hall with an amused smile on her face.

"Rosalie, it's not nice to make teenage boys nervous," Jasper lectured Rosalie in a bored voice.

"Rosalie. . . " Bella hesitated. "What are you doing with whipped cream and chocolate syrup?"

"Number 25 of the List, silly!" Rosalie stated in voice that implied duh!

Bella stared at Rosalie for a few seconds before groaning.


Bella shivered in bathing suit and stared down at the mess her body was. Chocolate syrup mixed and swirled with the whipped cream that Rosalie and Jasper had sprayed on her minutes before. Now she was standing in the hallway, next to Jasper and Rosalie, who had the same thing done to their bodies.

Bella took a deep breath, before screaming at the top of her lungs. She sprinted down the hallway, screaming nonsense babbling at the top of her lung. Rosalie and Jasper followed her lead.

"-pink cows are delicious-

"-never eat the blue meat-"

"-don't follow the rainbow-"

"-Trix are for rabbits, you silly kid!"

"-I'll never let go!"

"-it's like a shammie, it's like a towel, it's like a sponge-"

"-I have wings and I can fly-"

"-Few times you've been round that track-"

"-the Phantom is coming! Run-"

Curious people sticking their heads out of their doorways, staring at the group of twenty-four year olds. Jasper's foot slid on some whipped cream that had slipped off of somebody, but he charged on valiantly, screaming.

"-let's have fun time-"

"-Barney is a monster! He's going to eat your children-"

"-I have a stupid helmet and I'm not afraid to use it-"

They reached the end of the hall; they turned around, heading back for their room. They ran past laughing people, curious people, angered people. Finally, they slammed into their room and Rosalie closed the door behind them. Bella slid down the wall, giggling uncomtrollably.

"Now that," said Jasper. "Was fun."


Okay. I have a challenge for you. This is a song lyric.

Few times you've been round that track

It's screamed above by someone. Just to help you out, I'll put the rest of the lyric.

Few times you've been round that track; but your a*s is still fat; gonna stay like that

Give me the name of the song and the band you get a prize. A hint. . . .

This band has had it with this motherfu*kig snakes on this motherfu*king plane.

The prize you might ask?

Bella, Jasper, and Rosalie require some. . . --ah hem--assistance in their next number. You'll be that girl.

Or guy.

Do I even have guy readers? Anyway, leave your name if you can guess it.

Oh, and what exactly is "-it's like a shammie, it's like a towel, it's like a sponge-"? I know. Do you know?