Hi all, I'm back! Be afraid.

I dedicate this tale to Wapeci because you have inspired me to start writing again. I had ideas but had a hard time putting them down into words. You have delighted me with your reviews for stories I wrote long ago. Thank you.

Oh the mistakes are my own and I do claim them to my horror but I do not own Stargate Atlantis if I did it would not be cancelled and Rodney and John would be a couple in Season Six & beyond. Stargate: Universe sounds like it will suck (One hopes so) perhaps if it does they will bring Atlantis back, Yeah and pigs will grow wings and fly. So keep writing the Atlantis stories and let your imaginations sour. Take care.

RODNEY'S CHRISTMAS TALE

It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.

Rodney wanted to scream and scream and scream.

He looked around in terror not knowing what to do or where to go.

This had to be the worst idea he ever had. How could he have been so stupid?

Well he, for one, was not going to take the blame for this, oh no, it was all Colonel Shepherd's fault.

Him and his "oh we are soul-mates now, so it would be a good if we gave each other gifts from the heart."

So here he was stuck on earth at the worst place to be, at the worst possible time.

A Shopping Mall On The Last Sunday Before Christmas!

He must have been crazy to agree with John.....yes, crazy in love. Sigh, no getting out of it now, he would have to brave the masses and hope for the best.

'Okay, Doctor Rodney McKay, Two PHD's, Top Genius of two Galexceys, you can do this. You faced the Wraiths, you've faced the Replicators, and you've faced listening to John sing Johnny Cash with a love-struck expression on your face, when he sounded like someone was strangling a cat. Take a deep breath and enter the storm..... Huh, perhaps we can stick Koyla in this place, next time we come across him....nah, IOA won't allow it, against the Geneva Convention... Yeah, Right!

On the count of three, here I go, one, two, three, GOD SAVE ME!'

Rodney pushed his way through the crowds trying to make his way to the big department store, they were sure to have everything, a one-stop-shop. Which was good, quickly done, soonest finished.

But the mass was too great and they carried him away from where he wanted to go. There was so many, too many. He wanted to yell, he wanted to cry, he wanted John Shepherd to come and rescue him.

He was pushed and pulled into the last store he ever wanted to be in.... a toy store.

Silence descended. Rodney looked around, wondering what was going on and why were all the brats....um....sweet beautiful children, looking at him?

"SANTA CLAUS!"

Rodney looked around franticly and then looked down at himself, why oh why did he decide to wear red and white.

"No, no, no. I'm not him, he's not me. I am not Father Christmas. He Does Not Exist"

Again silence descended, and then all the children started screaming and crying. Their parents glared at Rodney and tried to comfort their kids.

"Don't listen to that nasty man, he is not Santa Clause, he is a fake, a Grinch"

Rodney muttered to himself "Stupid parents, stupid kids, stupid Christmas, Bah Humbug!"

With the attention no longer on him, he was able to escape...um...egress out of the Toy Store.

Once more, unto the breach, he went, once more, he entered the fray, but this time he was more determined to get where he wanted to go, but alas, once more he failed and he was carried away to destinations unknown.

When Rodney was able to free himself, he ended up leaning against a shop window, trying to catch his breath. He gave up, no more, enough was enough. John would have to accept his love as his Christmas gift. He took a deep breath, turned and stared in the window, at the perfect gift. He smirked....um...smiled in delight. He entered the store, bought the gift and paid extra to have if gift-wrapped.

Then free at last, he left the hellhole...um...madhouse?......um....the mall full of frantic people doing last-minute Christmas shopping, and returned to the SGC and back home to Atlantis , to his snuggle puss......um......sugar dumpling.......um......dearest one, and await Christmas day where he would get everything he deserved....um...in a nice way, as, as we all know, Doctor Rodney McKay was a wonderful brilliant, fantastic, kind, loving man...well that's what he told everyone and they better believe it or it would be cold showers till next year's Christmas day.

Christmas day finally arrived and Rodney was rudely awaken....um...delightfully awaken by his true love jumping up and down on his bed, shouting "It's Christmas, Rodney, it's Christmas, come on, get up, we have so much to do and so little time to do it in."

John leantdown and gave Rodney the kiss that triumph all kisses in Kiss History. Rodney was short of breathe when John pulled away and he thought he was going to die, but what a way to go.

When he got his breathing under control, he grabbed John, rolled him over and gave him a Christmas treat.

John still had a huge grin on his face as they entered the mess hall, to the shouts from all, "MERRY CHRISTMAS"

John replied to all and Rodney snarked, then they got their Christmas breakfast...um...well, it was the same old breakfast that they had every day, but it was served with holly, so that made it a Christmas breakfast, alright? Good!

Finally finished, what with Rodney going back for second breakfast and Ronan going back for fourth, and John so excited he had to change his pants several times, they were able to clear away the tables, put chairs around the Christmas tree....um...well they had gathered up all the dead ancient plants and decorated them with dog tags and broken computer parts, but it looked very nice, if Elizabeth said so and She Said SO!

And the festivities began.

Gifts were given out and happiness was expressed by all, in the gifts that they received. Ronan liked all the knives he received; you can never have enough knives. Teyla loved the music, materials and fighting sticks she got. Everyone got what they wanted and loved, even Kavenaugh.

Rodney sat next to John, wearing the t-shirt, Carson had given him. 'I stop for fishing on Sundays', and handed him the gift he had battled for.

John gave a shiver and slowly and carefully opens the present. It was small and it was dainty, but the sight of it pleased John so very much. He smiled and looked at Rodney with loving delight.

"You are my love, and I give you this with all my heart and soul. We cannot marry.....stupid bigoted laws... but this eternity ring means that I am yours till the end of time" said Rodney "You can wear on your ring finger while we are here on Atlantis and when we are in the field, you can wear it on your dog tags"

John kissed Rodney, which all the people of Atlantis were use to, and gave him his gift. Rodney tore through the gift wrapping paper and stared at the eternity ring, John had given him.

"Great minds think alike" smiled Carson, who had come over to join them.

"Oh, I have something for you Carson.....um...well for everyone actually. So close your eyes and make a wish"

They all complied and pretended not to hear Rodney murmur "Now Thor, please"

The flash could be seen behind their eyelids and they blinked when Rodney ordered..um..told....um...asked them to open them Now!

They all gasped as they saw who and what was there.

Carson wept with joy as he saw his mam standing there, with Aiden Ford, who looked cured even though one of his pupils was bigger than the other. He flew to them, not knowing who to kiss first, but not really caring, and hugging them both, separately then together.

Elizabeth gasped and shrieked with joy and jumped into Peter Grodin's arms, kissing him all over his face.

And everyone else cheered when they saw all the food and drinks that had also appeared. Christmas turkeys, hams, chickens, vegetables, ice creams, jellies, fruits.....um...but no oranges and lemons or anything that was citrus. The drinks were Beers, wines and soft drinks.

John turned to Rodney and started to sing "And I will always love you"

And Rodney had to kiss him hard to shut him up.

THE END

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND GOD BLESS US EVERYONE

bye