Disclaimer: I don't own RENT and I never will
Note: Singing will be typed like this
Today was the greatest day of my life.I was getting married.....Well technically.....surrounded by the people I love. I waited all these years to be with Roger and he finally admitted that he loved me as much as I loved him. Were so happy together Roger and me...Mark...Yup Roger and Mark....Getting Married today.....Where is he anyway?.....Oh he's there.....Talking to Mimi the only person in the world who could make my blood boil. Sure he broke up with her for me but there's no doubt in my mind he still has feelings for her. Oh well the point is he's with me and were getting married....Kinda.
"Mark?" Collins came up to me and asked "You okay?"
"I'm fine" I tell him "You seen Roger?" I ask him even though I already know he's with her I can see them flirting as he always does when he thinks I'm not looking
"Yeah I think he's talking to Mimi" Collins told me
"Thanks" I tell him as I walk over to him to catch them in the act
"Oh hey Mark" Roger tells me as I approach him "having fun?"
"Not as much fun as your obviously having" I told him
"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked me
"I'm going to go now....Bye Roger" Mimi said walking away she knew he was in trouble and she wanted no part of it
"Mimi" I told him "You were flirting with her"
"No!" he denies it "We were just talking! she's with Benny now! besides I'm gay and with you!"
"I don't blame Mimi for this" I tell him "I blame you for flirting with her!"
"That's it Mark" He tells me "I can't take anymore of this shit!"
"What?" I asked him he's tired of me? He's flirting with his Ex! he shoulden't be talking!
"I diden't cut my hair because you like it long!" Roger yelled at me "I diden't stay for my bands final song because you wanted to go home!"
"You were flirting with a strange fat man in a speedo" I tell him
"I was drunk!" Roger told me "I have no interest in Mimi anymore I'm GAY! Gimmie a break!"
By now a large crowd of our friends and family gathered to watch us fight including poor Mimi who really wasen't flirting with Roger....I only think that because he was straight once and you just never know with guys like Roger. I felt bad for dragging Mimi into this because she was not even flirting unlike that dumbass in the speedo who Roger was obviously drunk enough to flirt back with. At this point I was walk away but Roger insists on telling me more. All of a sudden some really catchy music starts and Roger starts singing
"Every Single day I walk down the street I hear people yell baby your hot!" Roger sings "Ever since Puberty everyone wants to sleep with me! Boys...Girls...Scary circus clowns!"
Circus Clowns? Seriously that is a really crappy lyric just because a clown makes a balloon animal penis and gives it to Roger he thinks he wants to get into his pants....No wonder Roger can't find his one song glory yet he keeps singing.....
"But I can't help it baby!" Roger sings "So be kind and don't loose your mind Just remember that I'm your sexy baby!"
Roger's Right I am losing my mind I don't know what the fuck to do with him and his bad songs besides losing my mind I'm also losing sleep! he never gets's home until 2am doing only god knows what with Collins! sometimes I feel more like that boys mother then his lover!
"Take me for what I am! Who I was meant to be!" Roger sang "Just take me! Take me now! Just do it!"
Take him? I take him every night! I take his good sex and his attitude problems and all the baggage that fucking comes with him! what does he mean by Take me? does he expect us to just go into a closet and go at it? I feel like I'm dating Maureen all fucking over again! Only Rogers a bigger Diva then her! even she's just standing there watching us.
"A Tiger in a cage can never see the sun! and this rocker need his stage!" Roger sang to me some more "Marky! Baby! just loosen up and have some fun!"
Loosen up? Right Roger just like last time I loosened up and ended up in Pennsylvania in some scary truckers bed....Real fun....You just laughed at me when I got home and then you wonder why I won't drink with you in bars anymore
"You are the one I choose!" Roger sang as he grabbed my hands and started slow dancing with me "Girls would kill each other to fill your shoes! They get so pissed when they find out I'm gay and I'm in love with you!"
Do they? I mean Roger is a hottie and great in bed....No wait! I'm mad at him! must forget about that sexy body of his oh crap! I hope nobody steals my shoes! I just polished them....
"Besides you love the attention too! I can tell" Roger continues to sing as I put my hand over his mouth and try to get him to shut up because everyones staring at us! No such luck "So be mine! and don't waste my tiiiimmmeee! Moaning Ohhhh Ohhh Ohh Roger!"
"Remember that?" Roger ask me as I smirk and blush
"Shut up Roger!" I yell at him as I walk out of the room only to have Roger follow me still singing!
"Take me for what I am!" Who I was meant to beee! and if you give a fuck take me baby! Take me or leave me!" He continued to sing as I started walking up the stairs only to stop and look down to see everyone followed us in
Great Just great! Now everyone knows are business! Theres My mom and Dad and His mom and Dad oh and look I see my sister and Angel and Collins and Mimi and Joanne and Maureen and Benny and every fucking person I know standing there watching us fighting in song! I should sing something before he makes a complete ass of himself.....No Maybe I shoulden't
"No way can I be what I'm not! even if I flirt with other people! I still love you!" Roger sang "But hey Marky! Don't you want your boy smokin hot?"
I knew he flirted with other people! Theres the confession! I got all I need now if you can't give me a fucking good reason to stay with you in this song within the next few lyrics were soooo over and this wedding is off!
"Don't fight with me and don't lose your head! Cause baby every night who's in your pants?"
Roger walked halfway up the stairs to sing that to me? My parents look like they want to disown me....Not for being gay but for being this emberassing to them in public Mimi and Collins just looked at each other like they coulden't believe we were singing about getting in each others pants I must get Roger to stop singing!
"Me! Yeah I'm in your pants! baby!" Roger Sang to me as he threw his leather jacket at me which I folded "And every night who's in your bed!....Oh yeah...It's me bitch!"
"Kiss me Mark" Roger said as he leaned in to kiss me and I pulled away and pushed him away
Who the fuck does he think he is? Calling me a bitch? now Joanne and Maureen are laughing at me and Angel's talking to Collins obviously about us....I should do something! I know I'll sing my side of the story!
"Not this time Roger" I say to everyone "It's not going to work"
"I never take chances! and I film everything!" I sang "I make lists in my sleep! Roger what's my sin?"
Roger dosen't know what to do and neither does anyone else in the room Roger has no idea what my sin is....So I'm just going to keep singing then.
"I never quit on you people! and I always follow through!" I told him in song as he just listened but he looked pissed off! "I hate mess and failure! yet I love you!"
Roger looked like he wanted to punch me I guess I was alittle harsh with the whole "Mess and Failure thing" but I guess it's to late to take it back the wheels are in motion so I better go for it now
"You got a prize! so no need for compromise your one lucky guy!" I sang to Roger who still looked pretty pissed "Take me for what I am! who I was meant to be!"
We start walking down the stairs as we pass our loved ones I throw both our jackets at Angel and Collins who look really confused and are most likely wondering why they have our jackets
"Control freak" Roger told them "That's what he's meant to be!"
We storm into this room with MORE PEOPLE! you guessed it and a pool table where Roger starts playing
"That's it!" I yelled "This is the straw that breaks my back!"
Seriously that hurt how could he call me a control freak and just walk away? I mean I'm not always controlling I only ask that he seperates the light blue jeans from the dark blue jeans and the white socks away from the colored socks and that he chews 25 times before swallowing....O...M....G...I'm turning into my mother!
"I Quit unless you take it back!" We both sang very well might I add
Yeah I know I'm sounding like my mother but seriously take it back! I'm not your bitch and I wish you would stop singing! I just want to get along but you need to stop flirting and maybe we woulden't be in this awkward song!
"Men!" We both sang
"What is it about them!" Roger sang for everyone in the room to hear "Can't live with them or without them!"
Roger makes a great point without men there would be no babies....Well without women there woulden't be either....But still they could always adopt
"Take me baby! Take me or leave me!" Roger sings as he jumps on the pool table and moves the balls with his hanf completely ruining the game for whoever wanted to play
"For who I am who I was meant to be!" I sang
"Who you were meant to beee!" Roger sang finally noticing that he wasen't singing a damn solo!
"Take me babyyyy or leaaaavvvee meeeeee!" We sing together finally about to end this singing!
"Guess I'm leaving!" We sang again together "I'm gone!"
I remain standing there as Roger stormed out of the room
"That was the coolest song ever!" Maureen ran up to me "I wish I could sing that!"
"You wanna sing about breaking up?" Joanne asked "And flaws?"
"So now what are you gonna do sugar?" Angel asked as she approached me
"I dunno" I told her as Roger came running back in
"Forget your jacket?" I ask him
"No" He tells me
"Then what do you want?" I ask him as he grabs me
"You! that song turned me on so much!" He tells me "Take me baby now! Right now in that closet!"
"No...I...Uh...." I try to tell him no I try to be pissed at him for flirting but it's Roger my sexy Roger so I guess were off to the closet to have an early honeymoon
I just hope he decides not to sing again