Please note that I sadly do not own anything related to DC comics...I am but their humble servent.

Hope you enjoy 'To Break a Mind'

Welcome Back

"Welcome to Arkham Asylum Mr. Joker sir. We hope to deliver a promising transition from your current state to that of a more stable one by introducing various and new ways of channeling through to your unique and individual problems. Because the staff members at Arkham Asylum understand that you are unique and are an individual compared to everyone else around you."

Joker was held strongly by two large men on either side of him. The one on his left had a short beard and smelled like an old tattered and used diaper that never got thrown out, and the one on his right looked like he could just use a good fuck. They both, like trained dogs, began to frisk him harshly.

"Oh you have a fetish for clowns do you?" Joker bit his bottom lip speaking feverishly.

The two men didn't seem to be bothered by Jokers statement and continued on with their business.

Joker whispered to the men, "Let's make it quick before anyone sees." He laughed loud and the entire staff located in the 'welcoming' room went dead quiet.

His laughing ceased and he turned his head around to see what could have possibly caused the sudden halt in production. The four of them entered a room shortly after.

"We at Arkham Asylum Mr. Joker, simply want to make you better. We hope and will strive to accomplish that feat as long as you are willing to work hard and devote you're time to helping yourself!"

Well aren't you just a peppy little shit. By the way you overdosed robotic hag, I like the way I am, I don't want to change. So if you'll kindly just let me go on my merry little way…

"Now," the 'hag' ,as The Joker had called her, motioned for him to sit in a large chair, "please take a seat so we can begin the questioning process!" The two large men left them alone.

Yay I'm just as excited as you are! Excited about when that opportune moment comes along so I can snap your wrinkly neck…

"First thing, please state your name along with the correct spelling."

Joker wiped his nose with his shoulder and cleared his throat, "Joker J-O-K-E-R."

The hag looked up from her desk, "Your proper name please."

How the hell can you be so bubbly, it's odd…

He smiled, "Oh excuse me." Clearing his throat once more he continued, "The Joker T-H-E space J-O-K-E-R."

Maybe you are human hag. Finally you're showing some annoyance.

"We'll come back to that." She lifted her pen and dabbed it on the tip of her gray tongue, "How old are you?"

Joker furrowed his brow together and let his eyes travel upward, "I believe, if I'm not mistaken, I'm now five. Maybe six, but I'm pretty sure five."

"Five?" Her once happy personality was now draining quickly.

Did I not just explain myself to you? I said five! Maybe six, but I'm pretty sure five. What's so hard about this?

"Correct!" He nodded his head and began to examine the room.

Joker brought his attention back to her after he noticed the long pause between the questioning. The two were all alone in the 'incredibly too bright for Jokers liking' room and they stared at each other, waiting for the right moment to strike.

"You know, let's skip the personal information questions and move right along to the evaluation process shall we?"

He tilted his head back and smiled, "Lets."

"What year is it?"

"This year?" He perked his eyebrows up.

The hags sagging eyes looked to the side and then back at The Joker, "Yes."


"Good, okay where are you right now?"

Joker smiled at that one, "Can you be more specific?"

"Location." She wrote down a couple of things on the evaluation sheet.

He noticed her writing and rose up in his seat slightly to look at the paper. Sadly the hag noticed his noticing and slyly covered the paper with her hand. He sat back down with a nod.

"Well in reality, as you people call it, I'm obviously in this room." Joker rested his elbow on the arm of the seat and propped his head up with his hand.

Honestly isn't it quite ostensible that I'm in this dreadfully bright room?

She gave a caring smile, "Reality, as we call it?"

He glanced at his blackening nails, "Yes."

The hag waited patiently for a while, "Do you care to further explain?"

"You aren't my doctor, you're just the sickly looking…thing that evaluates how crazy I am. I'll save you the trouble, write this down…you ready?"

Her eyes questioned him.

"Psychopath…" He seemed completely fine by deeming himself that.

Joker saw that she wasn't writing anything down onto the paper, he cleared his throat once more, "Do you need more than that?" He waited for a response but she kept quiet.

Oh come now, I didn't even do anything to scare you yet. Why so intimidated?

"I am a primary and secondary psychopath."

She finally spoke, "How can you be both?"

Joker rubbed his hands quickly together and then stretched them out in front of him waiting until he heard a pop and then gently folded his hands onto his lap, "A primary psychopath does not respond to punishment, apprehension, stress, or disapproval. Frankly I could give a shit about these things. I am able to inhibit antisocial impulses, not because of conscience I must inform you, but because it suits my purpose at the time. A secondary psychopath is a risk taker, and I am a risk taker! They are daring, adventurous, unconventional people who play by their own rules. So you can see I'm just a tad of both, and just a tad not of both. Because you must understand that secondary psychopaths expose themselves to more stress, it may seem like I am indeed exposing myself by taking risks, but no, it actually relieves it."

She sat in awe as Joker continued.

This time he let his eyes travel away from her orchestrating his words with utmost ease, "Then you have distempered psychopaths, and charismatic psychopaths. Again I have a bit of both in my blood, but I tend to lean to charismatic." He paused and smiled wide, "I mean just look at me, I'm irresistible, egotistical, and I can read you like a damn book."

The hag shook her head and then grinned, "Mr. Joker, I believe we can help you. You know exactly what your problem is! No denial that is the first step to a healthy recovery."

What a dumb shit…

Joker scrunched his nose in haste, "You don't seem to understand, I like the way I am. Egotistical! I like it!"

Don't put that smug grin on your face.

"You've been here before haven't you?" She finally looked on her computer to see his records.

Do you even know who you're talking to? I'm The Joker…come now.

"Yes, this will be my fourth time." He held up four fingers in the air.

Her face widened in fear as she read the reports and came across pictures of his murders, "How many people have you killed?"

"Oh, I don't know. Over a thousand…just under two thousand…like I said I'm not sure. Oh you're a sports fan!" He looked at one of the shelves on her book case, it had been dedicated to various sports teams.

"Why, yes I am. Give me just one second while I figure out who your doctor will be this time."

This time, psh…

"I like sports myself. Especially good ol' football!" His tone got deeper as he went, "I mean what's funnier than a bunch of grown men running into each other over a leather ball. Okay so it's not the funniest thing, but gives me a good tickle when I see one snap their leg in two, or even a fight break out. Let's me know that people out there are fighting for worthless things, let's me realize just how worthless they are."

"Yes, quite nice."

He looked back up at her and laughed lightly, "So whose the good doctor this time?"

Her eyes squinted at the computer screen, "Doctor Harleen Quinzel will be your doctor."

"Oh, I haven't heard of her before, is she new?" Joker sat back in his seat waiting for a response, he looked quite interested.

"She's been here for about two months and she is good, very good, at what she does. Top of her class, youngest person to graduate with a psychology degree, she is incredible no doubt about that."

He smiled, "Ah, a challenge…tell me, how long do you think it will take for me to break her?"

The hag seemed fed up with his last remark, "Your first appointment with her will begin in fifteen minutes, I'm sure you know the routine by now."

"Yes, true. Any bets going around on when I'll break out again? What's your bet, maybe I can help you earn a little cash. You mortals seem to like that green stuff a whole hell of a lot…" Joker muffled his laugh upon ending.

"At least we earn our money respectively with jobs." She spoke hastily under her breath.

He shot a dark look at her, "Pardon I didn't seem to catch that last bit."

She stood up shaking her head softly from side to side, "Mr. Joker I didn't say anything. Now let's go meet your new doctor shall we?"

Joker sucked on the inside of his cheek and pushed his lower lip out. His eyes narrowed contemplatively over her appearance.

Yes, I do believe for that little remark, you will die…

"Respectively with jobs? At least we earn our money respectively with jobs?" He tossed his hand to the side, "Is that what you said?"

The hag sat back down tentatively, "Yes that is what I said, and I apologize for allowing my emotions to come out in such a manner."

Apologizing isn't going to make you safe, seriously who are you to think so little of me. I am your superior and you will act appropriately to such a standing.

Joker stood up and cracked his neck, "I have been quite nice to you and your so called 'job'. I have not lashed out, caused trauma or chaos, I haven't even allowed my thoughts about killing you to slither out. But since you have been so inconceivably rude to me and my 'needs' I shall see to it that you receive a very appropriate punishment."

He walked towards her with full dark eyes, an eerie smile that looked like blood seeped from it, an overall dramatic darkness nearing her.

About ten minutes later the two same burly guards entered the small office room. The tattered diaper one pulled out a walkie-talkie, "We need back-up in room J 639 ASAP."

Joker was standing in front of the book case with his hands carefully folded behind his back. He examined the sports shelf carefully and then looked over at the two guards, "Is it time to meet my new doctor yet? I'm getting a little anxious." He snickered to himself.

"What did you do to her?" The one who needed to be fucked badly couldn't take his eyes off of the bloody mess located behind the oak table.

Joker turned himself around and then jumped back when he saw the hag. Blood ran down her wrinkled face, seeping down into every crease in her face. Apparently the pen she had been using to write with was now lodged in her frontal lobe.

"Oh my…who could have done that?" He smiled evilly while he placed his hands into his coat pockets.

She was slowly dying as her body shook violently about on the floor.

"I swear I was just talking to her a minute ago too…bastards these days, sneaking up on little old women when you least expect it." He shook his head and frowned, "A shame really…"

The bearded man grabbed Jokers hands and cuffed them behind him. Joker didn't fight it but he did protest, "You think I did that to her? Well, I never!"

The man kneed him in the back causing Joker to fall to the floor. He felt the pressure pin point on his spine as the man fell onto Jokers back to keep him down.

"Oh yea I remember, you got one of those weird fetishes for clowns!" Joker laughed, "Make sure to be quiet about it, don't want to raise any suspicions." For that the right side of his face was dug harshly into the ground with the bearded mans elbow.

He laughed harder, "Can we discuss a safe word before we begin?"

The walkie-talkie spoke back, "We're on our way, what's the code?"

"Code 09"

"Ah, yes good ol' code 09! A very special code made just for The Joker. And you all say you don't like me here…"

"Enough clown." He breathed heavily into his left ear.

The other man knelt down next to the now still woman and pulled her eye lids down out of respect. He turned his head towards Joker, "You're fucking sick…"

Joker closed his eyes and smiled, "Not sick…balanced…rational…" He was stopped by a serious blow to the back of his head.

Joker sighed, "Well, that wasn't very kind of you."

You're on the list…congratulations!

A rush of about six people entered the room and Joker was brought to his feet. Each person grabbed some part of him, a leg, an arm, his head, or his torso. Joker didn't fight it though, he rather enjoyed the attention.

Another man walked in after a brief second and stood before The Joker. This man glanced down at the dead woman and closed his eyes tightly together, "Welcome back to Arkham Joker…I'm sure you see just how pleased we are to have you back with us."

He couldn't help but smile, "I sense a hint of sarcasm, but no matter! It's great to be back Arky!"

Doctor Arkham shook his head and began to leave the room disgusted by Jokers presence, "Get him into the inmate suit, then put him into his room J 29."

"I hope you didn't disturb my room at all, I left it just the way I liked it before I escaped last time." Joker shouted out to Arkham.

Two dead officers…yes I liked the look…

Three men held onto Joker as they escorted him out of the room. Staff members watched him in complete fear.

Oh how I love Arkham! They give such great looks of emotions!

One man now, as they reached the dressing rooms, pushed Joker into the room. He followed him and handed him the gray suit to put on.

Joker grinned sheepishly at him, "You gonna watch?"

"I have to." He stated firmly and held a tazor gun in his mitts.

He shrugged and began to undress from his purple wardrobe, "Everyone around here just seems to have a thing for clowns I guess. Can't say I blame em' either, I'm pretty damn adorable huh?"

The guard kept quiet.

"Strong silent type…" Joker jumped into his new skin and wiggled his arms to let the fabric fit more comfortably around him, "Ah! I feel at home already!"

Joker was shoved out back into the hallway forcefully, causing him to stumble and hit the wall with his shoulder on the opposite side of the room. The same people grabbed him once again and led him down the hall to his room.

He smiled at the regular inmates, who all in return cowered to the back of the rooms. Passing nurses and doctors all seemed to turn their heads away from his dark charisma, but he would just keep looking at them, and laugh quietly during the ride.

One doctor though, and Joker could see her at the very end of the hall way near his room, stared at him with a passion. A passion that showed she wasn't afraid of him…how dare she.

They stopped in front of his room and a guard slid his card through the access meter on the wall. A red light blinked three times and then a green one appeared, resulting in a hissing noise caused by the opening door.

Joker looked down at the doctor, and she looked up at him. They didn't show any emotion, just studied one another for the time. He managed to catch a glimpse of her name tag, 'Quinzel', before he was rushed into his room and set down on the cot.

He didn't take his eyes off of her, and she didn't take hers off of him. They patted him down again making sure he didn't have any weapons of any sort and then satisfied with their search, left securing the door behind them.

So now it was just the two of them, looking at one another through a clear door. Guessing what the other one was thinking.

Joker would not take his glare away first. She had to know he was her superior and that it was only right of her to look away first.

Dr. Quinzel blinked and then glanced down at her clipboard. Joker smiled and noticed his room had been cleaned of the dead bodies he had so nicely organized in his abode.

Assholes…took me a while to get them just right.

He looked back at his new doctor and met with her eyes again. He winked quickly and then positioned himself onto his back on the cot. He crossed his legs and folded his hands behind his head whistling to his own unique tune.

He listened to her tap her pencil on the clipboard and then begin to walk away, the clunking of her heels against the cement floor of the asylum. Joker smiled as he stopped his tune, he then gently crawled across his bed to the window. Pressing both of his hands against the door, watching her walk away to her next patient, and then the next.

Her blond hair in a bun, white lab coat with an under shirt and tie combo, a skirt that stopped just above her knees, and small heeled shoes…what was she trying to accomplish?

And those idiotic large round glasses that hid those blue eyes of hers. Joker tsked a few times and then fell back onto his cot once his new doctor disappeared from view. He shook his head from side to side. That was his new doctor? Arkham Asylum delivered a seemingly plain and underdeveloped top of her class new doctor to help 'heal' him? The greatest and most known notorious villain? He covered his face with his arm and then cracked his lips as he smiled from ear to ear.

They didn't tell me she was fucking gorgeous…

Please leave a review and let me know if you want me to continue this story or not~~

This Joker is very dark, and sadistic...compared to my other stories where he is a bit more loving. Please let me know what you think! I hope you enjoy~