A/N- I need words of wisdom from you all. Okay, so NYU offered me a full scholarship, IF I finish the last semester of my senior year, taking computer school based on their curriculum. My school doesn't offer what is needed for the NYU program, and this is the only way for me to get it. Jay (my boyfriend) says to do it, along with my parents. I'd miss graduation with my class though...but I'd be getting a free ride to study Communications. Oh, what to do?

Sorry, enough about my problems, onto the story. This is set after last Monday's Raw.

Also, after this lovely one shot, I'm going to be writing my stories for Christmas presents. I already have Becky's, Tina's, Cara's, and Chic's to do. If you want one, you should let me know within the next week.


"You wrap it in Styrofoam, bubble wrap, newspaper, put a pillow on top of it, then box it. I want it to arrive in Florida, the same way it is leaving Philly, shiny, gold, and in one piece. I'm not kidding either Assclown. I will whoop your candyass if anything happens to it, am I clear?" Chris eyed the young man up waiting for an answer. The poor boy looked scared.

"Ye...yes sir...it'll be fine...I uh..I promise." The boy scurried away with the Slammy award in tow, hoping to never run into the crazy Canadian again. As soon as the young man was out of sight, and Chris had a firm belief that his precious award would be okay, he returned to the waiting area. Three hours until his plane took off, just enough time to tell a story. Looking around, he saw the only ones left were Ted, Cody, Randy, Mickie, Dolph (Jericho's new right hand man/slave), Beth, and Adam. Everyone else either drove, or their plane had taken off.

"I still can't believe it. Who would have thought Chris would be the one to get Superstar of the Year award?" Mickie whispered, cautiously looking around.

"I heard they gave it to him to save them from a month of bitching." Randy said, quickly casting a glance over his shoulder, looking at Chris who was still standing a good twenty feet away.

"Now that, that I could believe." Cody agreed. It wouldn't be the first time the office agreed to give Chris what he wanted. Like the IC title, World title, MITB match, program with Shawn Michaels, and weekly Cena bashing.

"Was I the only one that thought Edge deserved it? He put on the greatest matches this year."

"I agree Beth." Adam said smugly.

"Anyone but Cena or Ch...Hi Chris." Randy stopped mid sentence when he saw Chris approaching.

"My fellow Raw stars. I need to discuss something with you all, so if you are ever in the same predicament, you will know what to do." Chris stated dramatically, while forcing Mickie to move so he could sit in the center of the small group.

"And exactly what would that be?" Adam asked hiding a smirk.

"What to do when you are dying."

"And you know this from experience?" Randy butted in.

"Yes Assclown. I don't go around making stories up off the top of my head." Cody snorted at that, but quickly covered it up. Yes, he knows how Chris NEVER makes stories up. "Guess what Cody? The Pope asked for my autograph today." "Hey Cody, your mother tried to get some of this." "You'll never guess what happened to me. Fozzy hit number one on the charts." Those were just a few of the non-made-up-stories that Chris would tell.

"Of course not. Continue Christopher." Ted encouraged

"This near death experience happened a few weeks ago, luckily for you and the billions of Jericholics, I managed to escape it with minor bruises." Chris began, his focus not completely on the story.......

It just wouldn't stop. No matter what Chris tried, the hazardous danger continued to come back. It would rip him from one end to the other without even thinking. He knew he was in trouble. It was like wild beast.

He had to get out of there. One could only wonder how he got into this predicament. One minute he is the champion of the world, the next he is being treated like this.

Every careless throw and toss he felt, especially on his lower beast. This thing was like a trained monster....who wasn't trained. Chris wasn't thinking clearly, he was just trying to avoid the object trying to kill him.

When he was thrown through the air at the wrong angle, he knew he was in for it. No man in history had ever been tossed like that, so there was no way he was going to live through it.

How anybody could let this thing run loose was beyond him. He swore he saw the 'light', and he was desperately reaching for it. Anything to end this torture. The next thing he knew, there was a hand being waved in his face...sighing, he hoped this nightmare was about over.

He knew his body was going to take more punishment when he was picked up the wrong way and placed backwards. Apparently God wasn't on his side today. No man could withstand this sort of treatment, not even Jericho.

It wouldn't be long until he entered heaven. He was sure of it. He didn't even fight it. As his body was slammed again, perhaps for the last time, Chris closed his eyes. He heard a banging noise, that lasted maybe three seconds, and suddenly, the untrained/tamed beast was gone.

Chris had survived.

"Okay, seriously. Stop making stories up." Randy said, annoyed. Chris could make a hell of a living writing fiction novels.

"I'm not. I swear this happened. It was about four weeks ago." Chris informed them.

"There were no reports or anything about you having a near death experience." Adam said, while the two girls just sat there quietly.

"Oh but there was." Chris promised.

"Really? So since you lived through this near death experience, why don't you tell us exactly what it was." Cody added, not believing a word Chris said.

"I happen to know what Christopher is talking about." Ted butted in, sticking up for his friend.

"Shut up Ted." Three voices yelled at him.

"Tell us Chris, what was this near death experience." Randy said again.

"Survivor Series. November 23, 2008." Chris said, looking straight ahead.

"So this happened after the pay-per-view?" Adam asked. Cody sat there annoyed. Chris would sit there and play this out until the very last minute.






"So somebody attacked you?" Beth asked, speaking up.

"You could say that. I mean, that's basically what it was, an attack."

"So what happened?" They were all curious now.

"I was forced to....oh God...forced to..." Chris stopped, and wiped away a tear that wasn't even there.

"Come on Chris, it' okay...you can tell us." Ted encouraged.

"It was horrible...I didn't think anything like that could happen to me...It did though, and I don't know if I can ever recover from it." Chris was about one step away from hysterics.

"Please don't tell us that someone rape..." Randy began, in fear for his friend, only to be cut off.

"Yes, someone... put me in a....here's the worst part....a.... match against John Cena."


A/N- So I've been on a "I hate John Cena" spur lately. I'm not usually like this...but these anti Cena ideas won't go away.