Don't own anything but the story. This is waaaaaaaaay AU and is pre game.

This results from a conversation on one of my MLs on "They have to be bi otherwise how are they going to make little bishies to be?!"

Here's my answer.

never been perggers myself so if I get some stuff wrong tell me.

also assuming the FF world is ok with homosexuality, something other than monogamy, and children are important.

standard disclaimers apply

in progress betaing

Thanks Kip!

Sephiroth wiped the last trace of vomit from his lips and glared back the petite young woman in a lab coat, ignoring the fact that he was on his knees and trying to ignore the fact his gut was still complaining.

"Sir, Hojo has finished with your blood tests and other than finding abnormal levels of certain hormones in your blood stream he has not found what could be causing your illness and requires you to come down to see him."

/'Require' 'Order' same thing,/ Sephiroth thought bitterly. Though, the hormone thing explained his mood swings, and if Hojo could get rid of it and bring him back to normal... /He has to! I cannot do my job like this. Besides, the bloating is starting to get to me./ It was true; he had been lucky enough to be able to control himself in public, but he had to think of it constantly, reminding himself he couldn't behead people just because they were bothering him or anything like that; it was against regulations. He was slipping though; a few nights ago while laying in bed with his lover he had started crying. Him, crying. And all because is lover had kissed his forehead and said, 'I love you.'

His eyes stared to brim with tears. /That was so sweet of him!/ Then stomach gave a twinge pulling him out of that mood swing, /Damnit, I shouldn't have eaten that pickle and pecan sandwich./

He nodded and followed the woman out.

* * * *

Hojo stared at the charts, nothing made any sense, nothing to explain what was wrong with the General. Nothing chemical, except the hormones which were the source of Sephiroth's mood swings and illness, but he could not find the cause for the life of him.

He had even made Sephiroth take various brain scanning tests thinking that perhaps there was something disturbing the glands there.

He sighed, /Let's try the obvious shall we? His abdomen hurts so let's check the abdomen. There was no foreign agents in his blood and the medications I gave him to purge his digestive track haven't done anything but make him /more/ nauseous so it has to be something physical...Which should be impossible but.../

He wheeled a sonogram machine over and prepped it. "I heard some tainted meat was shipped in and a few got mako enhanced tapeworm and various other parasites. Perhaps you have some sort of infestation."

"Then why the hell didn't you do this in the first place?" Sephiroth snapped waspishly, folding his arms. But he knew he answer, Hojo rarely got him down here so when he was there he was loaded with tests.

Hojo ignored him and put the cold probe to Sephiroth's belly. He kept his eyes on the screen as Sephiroth found the wall to his left interesting.

/H-what?/

He shifted it around, trying to get a better picture. It was not in the digestive track, thankfully, some minor aberrations seemed to suggest that it had migrated out of it. It was a bubble, and there was something in it that should be connected to the side was instead free floating in the middle of it. However it was unmistakable what it was despite the size and impossibility of it.

/This is impossible./

/I am a GENIUS! I have just made scientific history!/