Title: First Date

Rating: T

Characters: Jacob, Renesmee, Edward, Alice, Bella, Jasper, Emmett, Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie

Pairing: Jacob / Renesmee

Warning: Renesmee is thirteen in this fan fiction.

Spoilers: Post Breaking Dawn

Summary: Renesmee and Jacob are going on their first date!

Disclaimer: I did not write Twilight. Dang it!

I co-wrote this with "Adiver" and we are currently very depressed with the amount of reviews! I know you've read it, because there is such a thing as "Story Traffic!" If you coud possibly review it I'd be very happy, as if you think that it's bad, then I can't improve until you tell me what is wrong!

x Zaira x

I was sitting in a plush pink chair in the centre of Alice's huge pink torture chamber – also known as her bathroom.

"For the last time, Alice, I am not a Barbie doll!" I grimaced as she yanked the brush through my hair. Long, thick hair and Alice don't mix.

"Quit squirming, Nessie. It's for your own good." I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"It's for my own good that you're pulling my hair out?" I asked, and Alice sighed. "I now officially agree with mom. Your bathroom is no bathroom at all; it is a dark, dangerous, torturous place. You wonder where all those myths came from? I think Bram Stoker met you Alice."

"I wasn't even there then." Alice retorted.

"Wanna bet?" I grinned and Alice realized that I was just kidding. She tapped me gently on the head with the hair brush.

"Evil child." She joked. Smirking, she brought out the next evil weapon of villainous torture. Eyelash curlers. I blanched and Alice grinned. "Won't hurt a bit. Promise." She said, and she poked me in the eye.

"Alice." I warned and she looked apologetic.

"Oops?" She asked, but I could tell she totally didn't mean it.

"Oops." I repeated. She was enjoying herself. No doubt about that. I'm not quite as bad as mom, I am relatively interested in fashion and make-up, and I love shopping. Preferably without Alice. Unless she's paying.

"Alice?" Rosalie poked her head around the door. "Bella wants me to check that you aren't killing Renesmee." She grinned. "Edward also wants me to check her skirt is in the relative regions of her knees." Alice bit her lip.

"Do you think Edward will mind about… ten centimeters in the region of her knees?" She asked, looking pointedly at the incredibly short, rather pink piece if meterial hanging on the door.

"Hey, Rose." I said. She smiled. "Mind telling dad I absolutely love him?" She laughed. "And tell him I'd love him even more if I can have a 911 Carrera GT Porsche." Even Alice laughed at this and Rosalie smiled again.

"Will do." She replied, and departed, leaving me with the torturer woman of inescapable doom. I screamed as Alice poked me with another implement of torture. Eyeliner. Brilliant - I should have guessed. Twenty-three minutes and sixteen seconds of dreaded torture later, the make-up session was finally over. Fun, now was time to escape Alice's clutches and get to my own room. I was just about to escape when Alice coughed.

"Forgotten something?" I looked down to realize that I was in my underwear. Shit!

"RENESMEE!" Edward shouted. I winced. "MIND YOUR LANGUAGE!" Oops. Someone's a bit touchy today.

"Dad? What happened to privacy? My head's MINE! Okay? How many times do I have to tell you? No mind-reading? It's totally unfair!" I heard Alice snigger and stormed out of the door. I stormed into my room and slammed the door as hard as I could. Unfortunately the hinges came with it. I turned round to go to my wardrobe to find dad standing in my way. "Hi dad." I said uncertainly. That was the third door I'd broken. This week.

"Hormones." I heard Emmett comment from the living room. Brilliant. They think I'm turning into a teenager.

I stalked back to the bathroom and grabbed the pink miniskirt and pink boob tube Alice had laid out for me. Dad was going to absolutely kill her. I couldn't wait! It would be pay back for having to be human Barbie doll for two hours. I pulled on the clothes and grabbed my favourite pair of scarlet, four inch high heels. I stalked down the stairs. Dad stared at me, mortified. Mom stared – she was horrified. Rosalie smirked. Emmett tried to hide a laugh because of the look on Dad's face. Esme and Carlisle looked proud. Alice looked happily at the Barbie she had created.

"RENESMEE!!" bellowed Dad. I sighed. "Do you really think you are going out dressed like that?"

"Yes." I said. When is he ever going to get that these outfits aren't my idea. They're Alice's so why do I get the blame? Okay. Maybe the heels were my idea but Alice bought them.

"Renesmee, honey. Are you sure you want to go out dressed like that?" interrupted Mom before Dad blew his stack.

"Yes." I said, pointedly hopping Jacob would arrive soon. This was bad. Really bad. Where was Jacob? I looked at the clock. I glanced at my watch, then back at the clock. My watch was half an hour slow! What was I going to do for half an hour? Listen to my parents? No thanks!

I walked into the living room and slumped in a chair. Mom and Dad followed me. Great. Pep talk time!

"Renesmee this is your first time out with a boy and we just wanted to tell you..."

"Mom you've already given me one of these pep talks. I've got it nailed. No drugs, boys, alcohol or…"

"Renesmee." Dad said fiercely. I shut up.

"Edward." Carlisle decided to butt in first. "She is thirteen; she's not a little kid anymore." I nodded, I totally agreed with this interjection.

"I know, but, still. I don't want her to do anything stupid." Carlisle sighed.

"She can't get drunk, she can't overdose, and she can't have sex. What's left? She's not a little kid anymore. She's with a werewolf. What's going to happen? She can take care of herself, Edward. Cut her some slack?" Dad sighed.

"Fine, I was overreacting. Isn't that what dads do?" Edward shrugged. I grinned. Carlisle smiled. Emmett carried on making faces behind Edward. "He's here." Edward told us, having been listening out for Jacob, obviously. I shot to the door, tailed closely by the rest of my family. I opened the door just as Jacob was going to press the doorbell.

"Hey Nessie." He said, and I smiled at him. I'd known him since I was little; he'd always been my best friend. I'd always looked up to him, literally most of the time as well.

"Jacob." Edward intoned, a hint of growl entering his voice. "How nice." Jacob grinned and dad scowled, before standing with a slight smile on his face. "Where are you going?" He asked, and Jake shrugged.

"Not sure yet. I did think about a restaurant before I remembered you people don't eat." Esme laughed and Jacob carried on. "So I was debating whether to have a foodless picnic in the woods or go see a movie." Movie? I thought.

"Woods. Foodless picnic seems a nice idea." I grinned and dad scowled. "Out of my head dad."

"Jake, be responsible. Don't get yourself or Nessie in trouble." My mom smiled, unlike dad she trusted Jake. Jake nodded.

"Will do, Bella. Nessie?" He put his arm out and I linked mine through his.

"Bye dad. Bye mom. Bye Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Alice, Rosalie, Jasper. See you later!"

A/N: Please say what you think! If you think it's crap please say! April and I promise not to bitch slap you =P


PS - Please check out Adiver's awesome fan fics! =]