Takes place immediately after the JLU episode Grudge Match. I don't own anything, except for this brain I bought at the store.
Warning: Severe angst ahead, mostly on the BM/WW side. Shameless humor everywhere else. Occasional swearing. Reviews always appreciated
"This way!" whispered Batman, ducking into the shadows. Green Lantern, Flash, Green Arrow and the Question followed suit, tiptoeing behind the dark knight. The five men silently darted under an archway and into an almost empty parking garage. Dirty orange lights shone from the ceiling, allowing enough light to see the faded yellow parking lines and a sign on a cement pillar reading 'C4.' Beyond the pillar, outlines of two motorcycles were barely visible.
"Ollie, they're here," said Question to the blonde archer at his side.
"What? How do you know?" asked Green Arrow, frantically craning his neck to examine the entire garage.
"Look, their bikes." The faceless Victor Sage motioned toward the motorcycles.
"How do we know the others are here?" asked Green Lantern, a hint of concern evident in his deep voice.
"Infrared showed Diana's invisible jet a few blocks away," said Batman. "I assume the others used the transporters since all the javelins are accounted for on the Watchtower."
"Blah, blah, blah, can we go rescue our girlfriends now?" said Flash, itching to move. Both Batman and Green Lantern glared fiercely at the scarlet speedster. Wally immediately coiled back. "I-I mean…our girlfriends….and ex-girlfriends…and…friends that are girls…" He gave an innocent smile.
Green Lantern looked over at Batman. "Can I strangle him now?"
"Unfortunately, no. We have work to do." Once again, Batman led the other four through the shadows. When they reached the elevator doors, he took the specialized lock pick out of his utility belt and jabbed it into the card lock. The scraping metal was the only sound for several seconds. John Stewart shifted uncomfortably, staring idly at his power ring.
"Ugh…Bruce…you want me to--"
"No," snapped Batman. "I've almost got it."
"Wait," butted in Vic. "Do you hear that?"
"Hear what?" asked Flash, his voice resonating off the concrete walls.
"Sshhh!" the rest hissed in unison. A dull creaking sound bore through the silence. Each man tensed, preparing for a fight. The bell chimed and the elevator door crept open. Harsh white light revealed four women: Fire, Vixen, Shayera and Wonder Woman. The women froze, staring at the five men in front of them, before bursting into fits of laughter.
"Are you here to rescue us?" asked Shayera through violent giggles.
"Or were you planning on fighting us, first?" choked Mari.
Three of the five men relaxed. A streak of red flew by, and Flash rested his elbow on Fire's shoulder. "No League babes go missing on our watch," he grinned, winking at her.
"But ve did go missing," she replied in a thick Brazilian accent. Wally's smile melted away.
"Obviously, we've handled the situation ourselves. Roulette and Sonar are in federal custody," said Diana coldly, speaking to Batman.
"Next time I won't waste my jet fuel," he replied, the white lenses of his cowl narrowing.
"We'd hate for it to put a dent in your pocketbook." The Amazon stood firm against the Batglare, the only person on earth able to withstand it.
"Who pays for your jet fuel?" The dark knight's voice was harsh and menacing. Its intended purpose worked its magic, slicing through Diana's tough façade. However, Bruce immediately regretted his words when the power in her features dissolved into pain. Without another word, the princess took flight and disappeared out of the parking garage. The remaining eight didn't speak for several seconds.
"Call Mr. Terrific for transport. I have some things to take care of," grunted Batman. He turned on his heel and started for the archway.
"Yeah, you go get her Brucey!" called Flash. The dark figure stopped dead in his tracks, turned around and glared. It only took Bruce a few steps to reach Wally, and when he did, the Flash was trembling like a mouse.
"If the word Brucey ever comes out of your mouth again, I will personally see to it that your legs are amputated and fed to Harley's hyenas," growled Batman through tightly clenched teeth. And with that, he stormed off into the night.
"Man, are you ever gonna learn?" said John to his still cowering friend.
"Sorry to interrupt the family feud here, but where's Dinah?" interrupted Ollie.
"I think she and Huntress are still in there," said Mari, motioning behind her. Question didn't hesitate to board the elevator. Ollie followed, leaving the other five on their own. The car descended, and when it opened into the arena, they stepped out.
"Where are they?" asked Ollie, searching around them. The faceless man rubbed his chin with his thumb and forefinger.
"Hmm, I have a feeling," replied Vic.
"Psh, you and your feelings." Green Arrow rolled his eyes and followed his friend across the red-carpeted floor to the top of the stairs.
"What the!" shrieked Ollie at what he saw occuring in the fighting cage. He started down the steps, but Vic held an arm out in front of him.
"Wait," he whispered.
"For what?! Our girlfriends are ripping each other to pieces!"
"No." Vic's head cocked to the side as he analyzed the scene. "They're sparring." As it dawned on Ollie exactly what was happening, a sly smile spread across his face.
"I agree." Beneath the mask, Victor Sage smiled widely as well.
"Fifty bucks says Dinah wins."
"I'll take that bet." The two men sat in the top row to watch the fight, their girlfriends oblivious to their presence.
"So you think Bruce will ever pull his head out of his ass and see the light?" asked Ollie, not looking away from the spectacle in front of him. It was unclear who was winning; both women were locked in a hold, neither budging an inch.
"Doubtful. But I think the strategy Diana is taking on may yield results."
"And what strategy is that?"
"You saw what happened up there. She gave him a dose of his own medicine. Pushed him over the edge, and now he regrets it."
"That last line about the jet fuel…that was harsh, even for him."
"My point exactly. He is losing himself," said the faceless man, unable to tear his eyes away from the beautiful woman with flowing black hair.
At that moment, Dinah forced Helena off of her for a split second. The two men held their breath, but the women continued their motionless power struggle. "Losing himself, huh? What do you think'll happen if he caves?"
"In terms of what?"
"I dunno. Will he be…y'know…different?"
"He won't be any different than he is now, in my opinion. He already sacrifices everything he has for her, because he loves her. That won't change. And he won't allow anything to get in the way of his work, but neither will she."
"So things will stay the same?"
"Relatively. Bruce might seem a little lighter, Diana darker, but their jobs depend on who they are, and they each have their images to uphold." When Vic finished, Ollie actually looked away from the fight to stare at his friend. "You asked," Vic reminded him.
"Please tell me you don't do that love guru stuff with every relationship you come across."
The faceless man turned toward Ollie. "I don't," he said.
"It's just a natural observance of human emotion and behavior," added Vic, turning back to the fight.
"Ahh, come on!" said Ollie, rolling his eyes once again. "Maybe one of these days, being in a relationship will turn you into less of a freak."
"Again, doubtful." The fight between Dinah and Helena continued, but with more ferocity. Their grunts were audible where Vic and Ollie sat. Instead of laboring against the other's hold, they were now using their own strengths in movement to disable the other.
"Dinah's got her in actual hand to hand. She is a master judo fighter and boxer," said Green Arrow confidently. Black Canary blocked Huntress's advances. "See!"
"I wouldn't be so sure. Helena learns with each fight, taking into account both her and her opponent's weaknesses. I have no doubt she's figured out Dinah's already, and is prepared to use it against her. She is, after all, a world-class gymnast and martial artist." Helena took a few hard punches from Dinah before unleashing her greatest strength. "Ah, this is my favorite part," said Vic, scooting to the edge of his seat. Ollie didn't bother to give Vic the incredulous glare; they both knew it was assumed.
Suddenly, Dinah was forced to back up. Helena continuously swung her legs at the smaller blonde, pulling them back before Dinah could grab them in a hold, like their first fight. When the blonde attempted to advance with punches again, Helena jumped to the side, dodging them, using the cage wall as leverage. Once she pushed off from the wall, she swung a final hard kick to Dinah, who crumpled to the floor.
"Two," declared Helena. The blonde pushed herself up from the floor.
"Yeah yeah, you win. This time."
Ollie dropped his head into his hands. "Pay up, Robin Hood," said Vic, holding out a gloved hand. The archer groaned, reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a fifty dollar bill.
"Damn," he said as he shoved it into the faceless man's hand.
"Oh please, you can stand to lose a fifty here or there. I've seen your bank records."
"WHAT?!" bellowed Ollie. His voice echoed throughout the arena. The women snapped their heads up to the sound.
"Uhoh," murmured Vic.
"Oh shit," whispered Ollie, realizing what he had done and clapping a hand over his mouth.
"A little late for that, Oliver."
Both men's full names were screamed in harmony at ear-splitting decibels.
"CHARLES VICTOR SAGE!" "OLIVER JONAS QUEEN!"
to be continued……