Just something I wrote because i felt for some Addex. There is a second part to this, so I might upload that if i get enough prompts and if people actually want it.

I do not own greys.

enjoy!


You're always the first one to wake up and the last one to go to sleep, and today is no different. You stretch, hearing the familiar cracks in your back when you do so, and sit up against the headboard to try an shake off the last remnants of sleep. Covering your mouth again as you yawn, you look to your left and see that your partner is in the process of waking up also.

She gives you a sleepy smile before she turns to the clock, groans and buries herself deep into the thick comforter, making you laugh and dive in behind her.

"I don't want to go to work today" she mumbles, her eyes closing, willing to go back to sleep, but you've known her for a while now and know she wont be able to go back to sleep once she wakes up

"Want to give me a reason Ads?" you ask, knowing that if you use your pet name for her she's more likely to open up to you than if you call her Addison. It just sort of slipped up one day, where you were so tired that you couldn't be bothered to get her whole name out, that you just wanted your sleep after uncountable rounds of UNO with her. After that, it just kinda stuck and it became your thing, you were more inclined to call her Ads than you ever were Addie.

She shuffles closer, and its like you are both playing fortress, buried deep under the duvet where its just you and her and your own magical world where the secrets you say stay inside.

"Its that day" she says sadly, her eyes dimming slightly "Its the anniversary of my infidelity" she takes your fingers and begins to play with them "And Derek and Mark work where I work so I guess it cant be avoided anymore"

"I'll come and find you later, we can talk about it if it gets too much?" you offer, watching her slender fingers curl and uncurl from your own

She smiles "Thanks" she says finally making eye contact "But I can always come home early"

you nod "Good, well in that case, get up, we have to be at work soon" you say rolling out of bed, watching as she does the same before trotting off to her own bedroom which she rarely ever uses.

Its been like this for a while, since the first time you saw her at Joe's looking just as dejected as you. After a few drinks inside both your system you stumble back to your apartment, kissing her, undressing the many clothes you both had on due to the bad weather that Seattle had been experiencing. However when both collapse onto the bed, her in her underwear, you in yours, it changes the scene, making it unreal that both of you will experience any unearthly delights tonight.

So instead you found yourself talking, listening to what had been a really bad year for both of you, and realising that there isn't anything more than human company that you need. Sex is never on the agenda, regardless if you are somewhat attracted to each other, so you make do with the midnight talks, and the chick flicks and the quality time you spend with her just reflecting silently on how you both managed to save someone.

Its been eight months later and things have been more or less the same. You manage to channel the frustrations, the energy into surgeries and the odd hobbies that you take up together; bike riding, cookery classes and the unmentionable sauna days where you let that inner woman out. But you've survived, defied all odds to become mini Mark Sloane, who you know your best friend will have trouble with today.

"Ads are you ready yet?"

"yeah" she shouts back, and you know she is somewhere in between choosing between a choice of blouse and bottoms, coming into your room about now to ask your opinion.

"the grey with the purple" you roll off your tongue, before you leave the room and go to start the coffee's when she comes out dressed and ready to go.

"You look pretty" you say, letting the compliment flow easily through the air between you. She smiles, rolls her eyes and takes her thermal cup, then says her thanks, despite that you compliment her every morning. Its just those little things you do.

XXXXXX

Today your pages miraculously seem to go unanswered. Its definitely not like her, so it seems strange, almost unholy that she's so quiet. You and the other two alpha males in her life are the only ones in the know, and while they seem to be avoiding her and each other, your going out of your way, bringing her lunch to that on call room you know she will be in.

"Ads?" you say gently to the door before you knock and open it, looking at her curled up form on the bed, the tissue that she has crumpled in her hand

"Hey" she smiles up at you "You shouldn't have come to find me, but thanks I guess" she sniffs, wiping her nose with her tissue and sitting upright.

You sit next to her, and she takes the bottle of water from your hands, unscrewing the cap and drinking deeply

"What happened today?"

she sniffs again, putting the capped bottle by her feet, and slumping against you "Its something I don't think I can talk about" she looks up at you and you wipe the solitary tear that manages to trail down her cheek despite her better efforts not to cry "I'm sorry, I feel bad seeing as we are friends and all-"

"But there are just some things you cant share" you finish, putting your arm around her

"Yeah" she concludes, wrapping her arm around your waist before you bend your head slightly and kiss her forehead.

"I'm here for you anyways" you sigh, rubbing her arm comfortingly, so that when the next bout of tears travel down her face, she's reminded that she has someone with her. Someone to save her.

XXXXXX

"Mark didn't say anything? At all?"

you shake your head, barely able to see her under the thick duvet that you are both underneath "No, he was silent for once, I think even the nurses were surprised"

"hmm"

"And Derek?"

"Exactly the same as Mark, we were too busy avoiding each other until..." she falls silent

"You don't have to tell me" you say, comforting her as best as possible, finding her hand and lacing your fingers with hers

She squeezes back "Its fine, it was nothing but..." she sighs "They were laughing, there they were strolling along and laughing about some personal joke, until they saw me" she chews on one of the nails on her free hand "It just got me thinking, while we were standing there that I ruined these two men, I slept with both of them and got in the way of a friendship that had long been established before I got into the picture" she pouts "Mark didn't have to like me, but he did and Derek..." she sniffles.

You pull her hand closer to you, placing it over your heart "What can you feel?"

"Your heartbeat"

"And I'm guessing you have one too?"

you hear the shuffle of the sheets and assume that she has nodded

"Well then what makes you any less different from me? We're both human, we both make mistakes but in this instance I'd say you weren't the one to blame"

She sniffs loudly this time, her voice cracking as she speaks "Thanks Alex, you're not all bad" she moves forward and gives you a peck on the lips and you respond quickly as one of your many rituals you have taken up with her.

"Goodnight" you say before you're head pops out of the duvet and you reach out to switch off the lamp near you, wriggling back down into bed and falling asleep soon after.

You awake sometime later, you're not exactly sure being so disorientated, but you register the hand that is currently stroking your cheek slightly as you sleep.

"Ads?"

"Hmm?"

"What's up?"

"nothing" she says "You just talk in your sleep"

you blush, happy its still so dark she cant see you "Sorry, anything interesting?"

"Just random mumblings about socks with holes"

you laugh falling into a yawn as you do so "Aren't you tired?"

"No" she removes her hand and places it over you're heart again rubbing her hand slowly up and down.

You place your own on top, stilling her "Addison?"

"Can we just sort off...kiss for a while?" she says and you can hear that strange sadness in her voice "I just need to feel something without doing anything I'll regret"

"Come here" you say, pulling her closer to you so that her legs tangle untidily with yours. Brushing a few stray stands from her face you bend your neck forward, placing a light kiss on her lips, too tired to debate whether or not you should be doing this with her.

She responds quickly, and its not long before she is framing your face as your hand finds her hip, rubbing slowly towards the small of her back then forwards again to comfort her. You soon feel the tears that have transferred from her cheeks and you pull back, deciding to hold her close so that she can sob quietly into your chest.

"It wasn't meant to be like this"

"I know"

"I'm a good person" she says, repeating the mantra you had given her once

"You are."

she nods, as her sniffing gets quieter and she finally falls asleep. You sigh, holding her there as nothing more than a friend.

Because lets face it, its all you can hope for.

XXXXXX


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