Disclaimer:J.K owns them!Not me!



One sleep deprived author + the Hogwarts gang during fifth year(see?I do NOT have a lolita complex!)+ funny-at-the-time-idea = Absolute chaos...and this dialouge fic!

*portal pops over a rather nicely furnished room,several people shoot out.They being Harry,Hermione,Professor Trelawny,Ron,Draco,and...Lee!?*

Harry:..where are we?

Hermione:Well one minute we-

Draco:Great,stuck with these people....

Lee:Whoa,I'm not even in 2/3 of any of the books and I'm here!

*a mutter of whoops and the portal drags Lee out,Professor Snape pops out instead and lands on his bum*

Snape:@#*@#^&*@^!!!!!!!!!

Harry:Never thought I'd hear a teacher say that....

Ron:Oh noooooo...

Trelawny:I sense a terrible cominggg.....

Hermione:What is it Ron?You know Professor Trelawny is always wrong.

Ron:Its....

Draco:Come out with it weasel!!!

Ron:...Another demented author dialouge fic!!!

All:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

*disembodied author voice*

Disembodied author voice(DAV):Yeeeesss!And I can do anything I damn well pleaseeee!

All:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

DAV:And there's nothing you can do about it!

All:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

DAV:Oh for heavens sake,take a breath before you all pass out!

All:*gasp,hack,cough*

DAV:Nooooww....I can have some fun!

Draco:*silently pleading heavenwards,being that it seems every silly dialouge fic has Draco with leather pants *ohnoohno..not leather pants again...dear god no

DAV:I'll pick on Draco first....being that he is my favorite character...

All except Draco:O.o;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Draco:They love me!They Really Love me!!

DAV:But your still wearing the pants.

Draco:So much for my ever joining the clergy...

Ron:*mutters to Harry*If he's her favorite,why is she picking on him?

DAV:Because,mere mortal,my least favorite characters in the bunch get worse.....much worseeee....MWUAHAHAHAH*hack,cough*HAHAHAH!!!!!

*Everyone looks at each other pointing,well,mostly pointing at snape*

DAV:Now,now...you'll find out soon.....until then...

*the sound of snapping fingers is heard,and Draco is in those pants.Muwah.I am evil*

Hermione:O.o now I can see why these fics always feature him with leather pants!Rrrrow!

Ron and Harry:Hermione!!

Trelawny:I predict he will beeee a hot item when he gets older....

Draco:*blinks a bit and decides 'why waste this?'and struts around singing*I'm too sexy for my shirt,too sexy for my shirt

*mob of fangirls appears*

Snape:*drippingly sarcastic*Wow!Let's give a Sybill a round of applause for one
of the few predictions of her's that might happen!

Trelawny:Your just angry that I mis-predicted you winning the muggle lottery last
month.

*The two Professors argue*

Draco:*dancing around amid fangirl catcalls*

DAV:HEY!!!!!!!!!!!Back off girls!My fic!Get away!*sets several Lemures on the fangirls,making them scatter*Oh Damn....

Draco:Damn,I was getting my groove on!

DAV:Oh damn..

All:Eh?

DAV:The fangirls.That means I'm running out of ideas.When the fangirls come,thats bad.Better cut to the chase.

All:YEAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!

DAV:That could give me ideas you know.

*utter silence*

DAV:Oh damn,forget it...I have one more idea...

*the snapping sound is heard and snape is suddenly in a flamboyant flamenco dancers outfit,with flaming flamingos and water fountains in the back ground*

Snape:What....the...hell.....it.....THIS!?

All:*burst out laughing*

Harry and Ron:*laughing the loudest*

Snape:Why you....ten point from Gyrffindor!

Harry and Ron:*still continue*

DAV:Points are null and void in here.

Snape:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DAV:In these fics.......no one can hear you scream.....oh dear..looks like time is up for now...

All:*cheer*

DAV:that is.....*evil grin*Until I get bored again.....MWUAAHAHHAHAHAH!!!BEWARE PART TWO!!!!

*Everyone screams in terror as they are portaled out*