A/N: I don't own Peter or Edward, much to my disappointment. This story isn't something I can explain in a summary, because I honestly don't know where it's going…Enjoy!
Do you believe in Magic?
Chapter Song: Everything's Magic, by Angels and Airwaves
When I was little, I believed in magic. I believed in magic the way people believe in religion. It was my sanctuary, my world of make believe. It protected me from my mother's tears and my father's broken heart and from all the mean things they would say to each other. In a world that could be colder than ice and burn like fire, magic was the only thing of beauty. And when I was little, magic was more than just fantasy. All those fairytales were more than mere imagination. No, they were real.
How you ask? It's simple really.
When I was little, I had a friend, and his name was Peter. Peter Pan.
Well, not really. Actually, I never knew his name. He never told me. But, every night, he would fly to my window, rest on the mantel, and play with me. He has ruffled bronze hair, just like J.M. Barrie's mischievous young character. And he had a crooked smile that made everything around him brighter, made me smile the way nothing else could. And so I called him Peter, because he was more magical and wonderful than any other person I'd met. And the best part was that he was mine.
When I was a little girl my mother Renee, father Charlie and I lived together in Phoenix, Arizona. But my parents fought constantly, bickered over everything, agreed on nothing. They say opposites attract, and in the beginning I'm sure that was true for my parents. But eventually, polar ends can't stick forever, and just like magnets, my parent's bounced apart, my dad leaving for his hometown of Forks Washington, where I would get to visit him for a couple weeks every summer. I was four.
When my dad left, I didn't understand why. Mommy and Daddy are supposed to stay together forever, aren't they? My mother told me that sometimes, mommy and daddy stop feeling for each other the way they used to. But I was little, and I just couldn't understand how people could fall out of love. And no matter how hard my mother and father tried, I ended up doing all the things little girls are supposed to do with their father by myself. And because of this, I grew to do everything on my own.
I'd never been a very social girl, always shy and a little awkward. I didn't get along with other little girls and boys; they told me I was too much of a crybaby. I fell down a lot and couldn't play hopscotch or jump rope. So I stayed inside, played dolls with myself, and read storybooks about princes and princesses.
But I did have one friend, one person who didn't think I was a crybaby or who laughed at me when I tripped over my own two feet or accidentally tied my shoelaces together. That was Peter.
The first night he came to my window, I was five, and it was Halloween night. I'd dressed up as Snow White, because my skin was so pale and my hair was so dark and mom said I was the fairest girl in all our neighborhood. But the other kids didn't think so, and Alex Barnes, a boy who used to bully me constantly, stepped on the back of my dress while I was walking away from Mrs. Marshall's house. I tripped and scrapped my elbow, spilling all of my candy in the street. The kids laughed at me, only harder once I began to cry. I ran back to my mom, but by then Alex and all the other kids had run off, and so we just went home. I ended up getting a nasty scab on my elbow and no candy.
I was lying in bed, crying, when I heard the thud on the window. It was a horribly windy night, and I assumed it was just the tree branches hitting the glass. And then I heard breathing.
Well, not necessarily breathing, more like a sharp exhale. Almost like a gasp. But the window was cracked slightly, and I figured it was also just the breeze. But a sudden gust of air blew through the room, making my hair swirl around my face, and when I opened my eyes, he was there.
At first, I thought I was just dreaming. But after blinking three times, I realized it was no dream. There was a boy crouched in the frame of my window, his eyes locked with mine. They were black as flint.
We stared at each other for a moment, neither of us making a sound. His eyes, locked fiercely with mine, had an odd gleam in them. Something like pain and something like lust. But it didn't scare me. It only made me want to step closer to him. It made me curious and excited in an unexplainable way.
Finally, I smiled and pulled up from my bed, brushing my hair from my face. His black irises widened, his nostrils flared, and he was suddenly crouching in front of me on my little twin-sized bed, his cold, sweet breath tickling my face in short, ragged breaths. I giggled as he ripped my rainbow quilt off of me.
And then I was in his arms. And they were as cold as ice.
He picked me up so quickly I didn't even notice until we were hanging in the window frame, the wind whipping my face. I looked down at the ground, fifteen feet below us, and back at his face, taut and straining away from mine. And then we were flying.
I clutched his shoulder as we bounced through the limbs of the sparse trees in my neighborhood. Everything was a fast blur, pale and gray in the white moonlight. All I remember was reaching the edge of my neighborhood before leaping through the air only to land on the ground and take off towards the nearby golf course.
Once shrouded in thick trees, he slung me off of his side and threw me on the soft, clean grass. I landed with a low " Oof!" on my bandaged elbow.
Well, I didn't like that much, and when he crouched in front of me again, his hand extending as if to grab me, I rose my little finger up to his face and wagged it in disapproval.
" Bad, Peter!" I scolded.
He stopped short, his wide and wild eyes calming to a slight confusion.
" What?" He said, the first time he'd spoken. His voice was like ringing bells. It reminded me of the big wind chimes on our porch.
" You hurt my owie!" I wailed, holding up my bandaged elbow. His eyes shot briefly to the wound, and he inhaled deeply, his eyes rolling slightly in the back of his head. A strangled growl escaped his lips, and he moved closer, his teeth bared and his hands reaching again for my face. And I didn't like that.
His jaw dropped and his eyes widened as my hand made contact with the cold stone of his cheek. He jerked back slightly, his hand pulling away from my face. I scowled at him, holding my elbow to my chest gingerly.
" That wasn't very nice, Peter!" I chastised, " Say you're sorry."
He stared at me in bewilderment for a moment, his black eyes wide. I just held my elbow, waiting for my apology.
" What?" He breathed, his brows furrowing in confusion. I rolled my eyes, holding out my elbow for him.
" You hurt my owie. You say you're sorry." I demanded, eyeing my dinosaur band-aid meaningfully. He exhaled incredulously.
" Go on," I encouraged after a moment of him eyeing me dubiously, " Say it."
His brow furrowed harder, but he looked down at the wound, and back up at me. He sighed in exasperation and rolled his eyes.
" Fine," He muttered before looking me directly in the eye, " I'm sorry for hurting your owie. I just wasn't paying much attention to you're injury seeing as how I was so preoccupied with killing you."
That should have been it. I should have known then that I was to fear him. But all I felt was anger and annoyance.
" No, no, you mixed it up!" I cried, shaking my head and pushing myself up to a standing posture, " You're not ah-sposed to kill me, you're ah-sposed to take me to Never Never Land!"
His frowned up at me in confusion, but suddenly his eyes widened in realization.
" You think I'm Peter Pan?" He whispered. I smiled widely and nodded fervently.
" Yes, yes Peter!" I sang, grabbing his hand and pulling for him to stand, " You're Peter Pan and I'm Bella Swan and you came to my window and we were flying and, and look!" I bounced in place, point up at the stars above us, " The stars! We take the second star an the right and straight on to morning!"
He looked up slowly at the sky, and back to me in stupor. I sighed dramatically and let my arms slap to my sides in exaggeration.
" Come on, Peter! You're ah-sposed to know this already!"
Suddenly, there was a rustle to the side of us, and a small sprite of a girl jumped out from behind the bushes, stopping short when she saw us. I smiled brightly when I saw her.
Her onyx eyes shot to mine in confusion, but I just smiled wide.
She was incredibly small, less than a foot taller than me. Her ink black hair was spiky and stuck out at every angle atop her head. Her face was small like the rest of her, her sharp features defined against the alabaster of her skin. She was such a beautiful fairy.
" Tinkerbell," I cried again, running over to her and pulling on the hem of her green dress, " Tinkerbell, you hafta tell Peter 'bout Neverland! Tell him!"
She stared down at me in shock, her eyes lifting back to Peter's.
" Yes, she does," He said softly from behind me. I frowned in confusion and turned back to him, but he was looking intently at Tinkerbell. His face contorted slightly in shame and pain, and he nodded.
" I was…at first."
" But you didn't?" She blurted suddenly, and I looked back up at her in awe. Her voice was so beautiful. It was exactly how I imagined sparkles would sound. She looked back down at me suddenly and smiled widely.
" Bella honey," She cooed, bending down and taking my hands in her cold ones, " I know you want to go to Neverland-"
" Neverland!" I cried out, bouncing slightly. Tinkerbell laughed brightly, and to my side, Peter chuckled softly, rubbing his hand across his chin.
" Bella, your mommy and daddy are going to be worrying about you when they wake up and you're not in bed-"
" Not daddy," I interrupted, shaking my head furiously, " Daddy lives in Forks. Him and Mommy feel out of love."
I turned then to Peter.
" But that's not fair. People are ah-sposed to love each other forever, right Peter?"
His smirk fell slightly, and he stuttered for words. I continued, turning back to Tinkerbell.
" I know that when I fall in love, I won't never ever stop. I'll love forever, just like I'm ah-spossed to!"
Tinkerbell smiled warmly and stood up, keeping hold of one of my hands.
" Let's get you home, Bella. Even if you're mommy and daddy live in different places, they'd both be very sad if you didn't come home."
I pursed my lips and thought about what she said. Eventually, I sighed in defeat.
" Okay, You're right. Mommy would be sad," I looked up at Tinkerbell then, " She loves me, you know?"
Tinkerbell smiled and nodded. I returned the gesture and turned to Peter.
" She does. She tells me every night before I go to bed. She tells me 'Bella, I love you more than the moon and stars'" I looked down then, placing my finger to my lips, " I love the moon and stars a lot, and so does mommy. She loves me even more than she loves those things, so I know she loves me very much."
I looked up at Peter, and smiled. He stared back in awe, something glimmering in his black eyes. After a moment, he smiled softly.
" Yes Bella, she does. I'm sure of it."
I smiled wider and turned back to Tinkerbell. She was staring at Peter with a weird look on her face. I cleared my throat to get her attention. Her eyes shot back to mine and she smiled.
" I'm ready!" I exclaimed, reaching my arms out for her. She laughed lightly and scooped me up in her thin arms. I shivered in my Rainbow Bright night gown, and she apologized.
" I know it's cold, but you'll be in your bed in no time."
And then we were flying again. I clung to her neck as we flitted from tree to tree, eventually landing on my tree in front of my window. I looked over her shoulder to see that Peter wasn't behind us anymore.
" Tinkerbell? Where's Peter?" I asked as she carried me to my bed. She set me down on the warm mattress, tucking my legs under the blanket.
" He had to go back to Neverland," She said as she pulled up the blankets around me, " He won't be able to play anymore tonight."
" Oh," I nodded in understanding and looked towards the window. Tinkerbell nodded, brushing my hair back from my face.
" You know what Tinker bell?" I said, turning back to her, " Wendy was wrong."
" Oh," She exclaimed, her head cocking to the side, " About what?"
" You're not mean at all. I had lot's of fun with you."
Her tinkling laughter filled the room and she stroked my hair.
" Ah Bella, I'm glad you think so highly of me," She sighed, patting her lap, " Well, I should probably go…"
I sat up quickly and kissed her on the cheek. She turned towards me in surprise, placing her hand on the spot I'd kissed.
" Goodbye, Tinkerbell!" I whispered, smiling. She smiled widely and pulled my face in her hands.
" Sweet dreams, little Bella." She whispered before planting a kiss on my nose. I giggled as she fluttered to the window, turning one last time to blow me another kiss.
" Oh! Wait!" I exclaimed just as she was getting ready to jump out the window. She turned back in curiosity.
" Tell Peter that I had fun playing with him, too."
A slow smile spread across her face, and she nodded.
" I will, Bella."
" Oh! Tinkerbell?" I asked again as she turned away.
" Yes, little Bella?" She giggled, turning back.
" Will I get to see you and Peter again?"
Her smile faltered then, and her eyes softened on mine. She shook her head slowly, a sympathizing smile on her face.
" I'm sorry, Bella. I don't think Peter will be coming back."
I felt my face fall, and I leaned back against the bed frame.
" Okay," I whispered shakily, " Goodbye Tinkerbell."
She smiled sadly and waved. " Goodbye, Bella."
And with that, she leapt from the window and was gone. I cried myself to sleep that night, but not because I'd lost my candy and the other kids had laughed at me. No, I cried because I thought I would never see Peter Pan again.
But I was wrong, and I did.
A few days after that strange Halloween, I heard another soft thud on my window, and when I opened my eyes, Peter was there in the window frame, smiling at me. And every night after that for the next year, he would come to my window after Renee had tucked me in and stay the night.
Sometimes we would play with my dolls and stuffed animals and dress up clothes. I would make him be the prince and the dragon, while I was the princess he had to save. Needless to say, he had me in a fit of giggles when he slayed himself, both laughing in triumph and growling in an exaggerated death. He always made me laugh.
Other times, when I was too sleepy to play, he would take me in his arms, sit in the rocking chair in the corner of my room and sing me a lullaby. It wasn't one I'd ever heard before, and he told me that he'd made it up just for me. I liked that.
But one night, he didn't show up. I waited for him until I couldn't keep my lids open any longer, and when I woke up in the morning and realized he hadn't showed up, I cried. Renee was frantic and distraught as she tried to soothe me, but when I told her why I was so sad, she didn't know what to say. I knew she didn't believe in my magical best friend, and that just made me cry harder.
The rest of the week followed with no Peter Pan knocking at my window, and every other night without out him, I began to worry more and more over whether or not I'd see him again. But one the eighth night of his absence, I awoke to a familiar tapping on my window.
I jumped from my bed and ran to the window, yanking it open so he could climb in. Once he was inside, I wrapped my arms around his waist; smiling so hard I thought my face would break.
" Peter!" I whispered, squeezing with all my might, " Peter, you came back!"
He chuckled softly and rubbed my back.
" Of course I did," He paused, " You don't think I would leave without saying good bye?"
I pulled back and looked up at him in confusion. Why did he sound so sad?
" But you aren't saying goodbye 'cause you're not leaving," I paused, " Right?"
He looked down at me, his face a mask of pain and anguish. After a moment, he sighed roughly and picked me up, resting me on his hip. I wrapped my arms around his neck, frowning in confusion.
" Bella, love," He hesitated, looking down, " I came back because I couldn't stand to leave without saying a proper goodbye."
My eyes widened and shook my head fervently.
" No, no, no, Peter!" I cried, " No Peter Pan, you can't leave! You can't leave me!"
" Bella, Bella, honey," He soothed, brushing his cold fingers across my face, " I have to. I have to go back to Neverland."
I felt the tears welling up in my eyes, and my bottom lip began to tremble.
" But I don't want you to go." I whimpered, shaking my head. His brows furrowed in pain, and he pressed his forehead to mine.
" I don't want to go either, love," He sighed, looking up at me through his lashes, " But I can't stay here forever."
" Why?" I wailed quietly, the tears spilling down my cheeks. He reached his hand up and brushed them away, stroking my chubby cheeks.
" Because that's not how the story goes. Peter has to go back to Neverland and Bella has to stay here with her mommy."
" No, no!" I cried, burring my face in his shoulder and wrapping my arms tightly around his neck, " I don't want to stay here! I want to go with you!"
He hesitated a moment before wrapping his arms around me and gently crushing me to him, one hand rubbing my back while the other stroked my hair. I inhaled his lovely scent, afraid I'd never smell it again.
" I know, baby, I know," He soothed, his voice thick, " But you're home is here, and there are a lot of people who would miss you terribly if you left. We have to think about those other people. We can't be selfish."
I nodded slowly, my tears staining the collar of his shirt.
" I love you, Peter Pan."
He froze before burying his face in my hair.
" I love you too, Bella."
He rocked me to sleep that night. I made him sing me my lullaby one last time before he left. He held me close in his arms, combing his fingers through my hair and kissing me on my cheek every once and a while. I fell asleep with my cheek pressed to his chest, my hand fisted on his shirt so he could never leave. And when I woke in the morning, I was in my bed, and he was gone.
I cried all day that day. Renee worried awfully and tried everything she could to cheer me up, but I was inconsolable.
From that day forward, all that was magical in my life faded, and a fissure began to form in me. Even as I came to accept what had happened, I could never mend the hole in me. The only thing that made it feel better was the knowing that Peter had been real.
I continued on with life, smiled again, learned how to laugh with a missing piece of myself, and vowed to never forget my first love, Peter Pan. And when Renee got married again to Phil, I decided to move to Forks and be with Charlie, because even my mother, who'd abandoned love so long ago, deserved another shot.
Forks was anything but Phoenix, but with time, I began to accept the rain and clouds, the fact that the sun showed an estimated five times a year.
Charlie and me get along fine. Unlike him and my mother, Charlie and I are eerily similar, and the silence that fills our house is a comfortable, elected one. And if someone were to ask me if I'm happy with my life, I would answer with an honest yes.
But no matter how good things are, and how much I've come to accept the way things have played out, I still think about Peter Pan every once in a while when I'm lying in my bed and the branches of the tree outside tap on the window. And when that happens, I smile solemnly, because I know he isn't coming back.
I used to tell myself I'd made it all up, that he was never real. But I could never fully except that, because even to this day, I can still feel a part of him with me, watching and remembering as I do those nights we played in my room, sharing something neither of us could explain.
" Bella!" Charlie called from downstairs, snapping me out of my reverie. My eyes cleared of their haze and I took one last look out the window that was just an ordinary window.
" You don't hold any magic," I whispered to the frame before grabbing my backpack off my bed and yelling " Coming!"
I trumped down the stairs and found Charlie by the door with my jacket in his hand.
" Thanks," I smiled, grabbing it and pulling it over my sweater. It had snowed the night before, and Charlie's cruiser had all-season tires, so I'd reluctantly agreed to get a ride from him to school.
" No problem," He grumbled, opening the door and heading out to the driveway. I smiled to myself and followed after him. Charlie has a hard time expressing his affection, and because of this, his little grumbles and short remarks let me know just how much he really loves me.
" So, have you heard?" He started as we drove down the street towards Forks high, the epitome of high school dreariness. I watched as little snow flakes fell on my window, smearing to the side and making a pattern of diagonal stripes across the glass.
" Heard what?"
" The hospital just got a new doctor."
A/N: Well, what do you think? I have absolutely no idea where this story came from, but I love it. It's just so unlike anything I'd ever written. But, my opinion is worth nothing if you guys don't like it, so send me a review please and tell me if this crazy thing is worth continuing. Next chapter will be an introduction of a few characters we all know and love…
The Romantically Inept