Summary: Julie Gaffney was perfect. She was exactly what he'd always wanted. Too bad girls like Julie Gaffney just don't go for guys like Greg Goldberg.

Author's Note: I have been toying with my ideas for this story for almost a year. And then today I watched Keeping The Faith again and poof along came this breakthrough and I finally figured out what I wanted to do with it. The title comes from the song from Jason Robert Brown's The Last Five Years of the same name. Enjoy!


Shiksa Goddess

Chapter 1: What's Happening

I'm breaking my mother's heart
The longer I stand looking at you

The more I hear it splinter and crack
From 90 miles away…

He wasn't sure when it happened. He had known her for almost ten years, they had been good friends, and then all of a sudden, their senior year of college, he turned and saw her standing and realized. He was madly in love with Julie Gaffney.

"So you tell her?" His best friend, Lester Averman said, "I mean, you can't not tell her, it's Julie."

"Exactly," Goldberg sighed, "It's Julie. Beautiful, perfect, Dean Portman's ex girlfriend Julie."

"And Adam Banks's," Averman said, Goldberg stared at him, "Right, sorry, not helping. But if anything those two show that she doesn't really have a type."

"Hey guys," Julie walked in, she'd been crashing at their shared apartment in Minneapolis since graduation, not really keen on returning home to Maine, or living with newlywed Connie and Guy, the only others who really had space for her.

"Hey Catlady," Goldberg smiled and she sat down.

"I have to go uh," Averman tried to come up with an excuse, but gave up, "I have to go." He walked out the door.

"Is it just me or does he get weirder?" She laughed, Goldberg shrugged, "Hey, I was thinking Thai food tonight,"

"We had Thai two days ago," He looked at her, they'd been existing on cheap takeout between meals at his parents' place.

"I know but I'm completely addicted," She laughed, "Why what were you thinking?"

"I wasn't yet," He shrugged, she looked at him, "OK, fine, I found this great sandwich place a few blocks away."

"Hm," She nodded, "No, I'm ordering the Thai." She walked over to the phone, he watched her move, she had a bounce in her step that he loved watching.

"You know its my house," He looked at her, "You would think,"

"Do not start your whining Goldie!" She pointed the phone at him, "I'll move out and go back to Maine if you do, I swear to God!"

"Fine, it'll be good to get rid of you," He shrugged.

"Asshole!" She squeaked and threw the takeout menu at him. "What do you want?"

"Just some Pad," He shrugged. She nodded. "Ooh, and a spring roll!"

"Got it," She smiled scrawling it down on a piece of paper. "What do you think Les wants?"

"Not to eat Thai again," He laughed. She nodded and sat down. "You know you've been here three months and you haven't paid any rent."

"I thought I was a guest!" She said.

"Then you're the most obnoxious and presumptuous house guest ever," He nodded.

"Ooh, SAT word," Julie laughed. He hit her in the shoulder, "Fine, I'll start paying rent. Now how to explain that I'm permanently living with two guys to my parents,"

"I thought your father desexualized us all a long time ago," He smiled. She laughed.

"Oh he did," She smiled, "But walking in on me and Dean changed all of that."

"Ah, did not want to know that little tidbit thanks," He groaned. She smiled and shrugged. "How are you doing with all that?"

"Took you three months to ask how I'm doing with finding my boyfriend cheating on me with my room mate," She sighed, "I'm doing fine, thank you, I'm well rid of him."

"That's the spirit," He laughed.

"Anyway, I'm going out this weekend," Julie said, "You guys should come too."

"Yes, bar hopping with you and your crazy work friends," He nodded, "That sounds exactly like my scene."

"Fine, don't come," She sighed. "You're so boring sometimes."


That Saturday Averman woke up and walked into the kitchen. There was a guy he had never seen before sitting at the table.

"Hey," He said. The guy nodded, "Why are you in our kitchen?"

"Um," The guy looked around, "She said it was cool if I,"

"Hey," Julie walked out of the bedroom. "Um, Darryl, this is Les Averman, one of my roommates."

"Cool," The guy said, he stood up and kissed her, "I gotta go, I'll call you."

"K," She said softly. He walked out. Averman stared at her. "We met last night."

"It's your life," He shrugged.

"Everyone else got to screw around in college," She sighed, "I was too busy trying to make a relationship work with someone who was too busy screwing around."

"I get it," He said, "He's not going to call."

"I know," She said walking away, "But the sex was good."

"I didn't need to know that." He shook his head. She laughed. He followed her into her room. "Are you doing OK, because that's like the fifth guy since you moved here?"

"Yeah," She nodded, "I'm good, really. Where's Goldberg?"

"Temple probably," He shrugged.

"Why don't you go?" Julie asked.

"Why don't you go to mass?" He asked in return.

"Um, I like sleeping on Sunday mornings," She said, "Also my grandmother's not here."

"There you go," He said. "I never got anything out of Temple. So since no one's making me go anymore, I don't go." Julie nodded. "I hit the high holy days and anytime something special happens." She walk outside again and plopped on the couch. "I hear you're going to pay rent now."

"Yeah, that's OK with you right?" She smiled.

"Of course it is baby," He smiled sitting down next to her. "Makes life easier, cheaper rent." She laughed.

"Hey, Les," She said, "Are you ever afraid that you'll go to hell because you don't do the whole temple thing?"

"Jews don't believe in hell," He shook his head. "Aren't you?"

"Catholics have confession," Julie pointed at him. "I just have to be sorry for not going to Church and having sex before I'm married and using birth control and all is forgiven."

"That's convenient," He nodded.

"Extremely so," She laughed. Goldberg walked in and saw them. "Hey!" She looked at him.

"Hey," He said, "You got in late last night."

"Yeah," She blushed. "How was temple?"

"Long," He groaned, "My mom wants you two heathens to come over for dinner tonight."

"Yay!" She stood up.

"Why are you always so excited?" He laughed shaking his head.

"Because your mom may be the best cook on the planet," Julie said, "And also she loves me." She bopped over to the door. "I have a few errands to run, what time does your mom want us?"

"Around six," Goldberg said.

"Great," She nodded and bounced out.

"You missed last night's conquest," Averman said. Goldberg looked at him.

"Another one?" He raised his eyebrows. His friend nodded. "She's going to kill me."

"Well, here's a brilliant idea," Averman shrugged, "You tell Julie how you feel and then she at the very least is sympathetic and stops bringing random guys home every weekend."

So yeah, review please!