Author: Cassandra Phoenix

Rating: M for language and sexual humor/situations.

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park or it's characters, they belong to Matt && Trey.

Pairings: Marjorine/Kenny/Butters & many more...

Summary: Kenny has known for a while now that he's been in love with Marjorine, but he struggles with the fact that Marjorine is, in reality, Butters. So what will our favorite playboy do when this realization hits him full force and he is thrown at chance for a golden opportunity.




It all started with that stupid fortune telling device, we know now it was nothing but a toy, but back then it was...everything. It became my everything. If it wasn't for that stupid toy I never would have met her.

The moment she stepped into the classroom I knew I was doomed.

Her hair flowing behind her as she took several graceful yet nervous steps towards the front of the class. The brown purse hung limp to her side, in an odd way, accentuating her slender, porcelain figure. It was the first time I had seen her. I didn't stay for the theatrics after the pig incident from the previous night instead headed home early for a waffle. But there she was standing in right front of me in her blue flowered shirt. I felt my face flush from within the darkness of my hood, thank god my face was hidden, there was no telling what the guys would think.

As Cartman "coughed" about how great things were going my eyes roamed the rest of the guys. How could they not notice how...nice she looked? And why did the girl's mock her, just because she wasn't apart of their perfect little clique, she didn't have feelings? I just wanted to slap all of them and scream at the top of my lungs how amazing this girl was.

That night in the bushes I replayed the afternoon in my mind over and over again.

During lunch she wasn't too sure of where to sit. Luckily, I was the one she had asked help from, mid question she took a gentle hold of my arm. I could feel the heat of her touch through the fabric of my parka and it send sparks down my spine. My cheeks burned, all I could do was clench my fists and mutter with my head hung low.

"With the girls, stupid."

I felt the warmth of her touch fade away as she dropped her hand to her side.

"O-oh s-sorry I should have known..."

When she walked away with her eyes glued to the floor obviously hurt, I mentally kicked my ass.

The girl of my dreams, fun, happy-go-lucky, and beautiful. Jesus, she was beautiful, her long golden locks trapped by three satin bows and her cerulean eyes that just loved to dazzle.

Who could send tingles all the way down there, if you know what I mean, with just one look. And I had already hurt her, within one fucking day.

But, it was heaven to watch her sway with music like a leaf dancing in the wind. The way she moved her body at the slumber party, to Justin Timberlake of all things; plus that make-over the girls had given her...dear god. I had to close my eyes and think of Mrs. Garrison just to keep myself, well limp.


Even her name was beautiful. She was perfect, she had to be. There was just one little problem though... she was Butters.

I may have been just a kid but I knew I wasn't one for love and I sure as hell didn't swing that way. No, I, Kenny McCormick was all about the tits, ask anyone. Everybody knows that if you want to know anything about sex or women you come to Kenny.

You know, now that I think about it I should blame Cartman. It was that fatass' fault in the first place causing all that hype about the girl's fortune telling device. Then it was also his idea to dress Butters up as a female spy.

The bastard.

After I blew up the paper contraption I fell asleep to the thought of Marjorine. I couldn't get Marjorine off my mind, things like the way her face would light up when she smiled, kept creeping into my mind. I was forced to look at the old Playboys hidden under my mattress after the Mrs. Garrison thing some how transformed into Marjorine's first moments in class. To say the least the mags didn't help...I woke up about 2 in the morning, hard and my boxers damp.

Even after Butters had returned to school from his 3 week grounding, I avoided him like the plague. It wasn't until he came up to me a few days later, apologizing "just in case he did anything to upset me," did I actually see him again.

And there was nothing, no tingles, no heart racing, nothing.

That's when I realized I was in-that I liked Marjorine, not Butters.

That-that was good right?

After that things went back to normal and thoughts of Marjorine faded as I grew older. The whole thing became a distant memory that I didn't dare visit, there was no way in hell I would go back there.

Then Butters came out of the closet in the 8th grade, it was about 3 months later when he admitted he had a crush on me. The memories came flooding back and I didn't hesitate to set him straight, to tell him I was straight. Admittedly I'm a known playboy and there were always rumors, but like I said, I stuck to the tits.

Sure, I might not stay with a girl longer than a week or two; and I had only just lost my virginity the year before to one of the Raisin's Girls.

Ferrari, I think.

But that wasn't important, what was, was for me to make sure Butters knew that I was straight. So I proved it to him the best way I could think of. By avoiding him for the rest of the day and screwing Red later that night.

I knew I fucked up the next day when I walked into the bathroom during 1st period, ditching of course, and heard him crying. Bebe, the blabber mouth and Red's best friend, had obviously left a path of destruction with her gossip.

Leaning against the cold tile wall, I slowly slid to the floor. Letting my head fall forward as I rested an arm on my raised knee. I don't know how long I sat there listening to his sobbing but it felt like forever. When he finally began to unlatch the stall door I quickly ran out and home. I don't think he ever knew I was there. Soon after though, Butters pulled away from our group and started hanging out with Craig and them.

But it didn't really change anything.

No matter how hard I tried to forget what I had heard in that bathroom, I couldn't. The memories stayed, lingering in the back of my mind. I had hurt him so much in such a short period of time. In a way, I had hurt the one I loved so long ago...again. So I did the only thing I could do, continued avoiding him and sleeping around, forcing the memories back where they belonged...

In the back of my mind where I couldn't-wouldn't remember any of it.


EVERYTHING was going fine. My promiscuous relationship with Porscha and Heidi had recently ended. Now I was looking forward to getting some action from the delicious Milly. I had started bringing in money from my after school job at the garage, which fucking rocks. There's just something about getting dirty and working with your hands thats just well, addicting.

I hadn't spoken to or really looked at Butters in the better part of 3 years, or at least I tried not to. He had grown out his hair over the last year and I couldn't help but notice how girly he looked. Ever since the incident in 8th grade Bebe had taken him under her wing so to speak. Butters was like her own personal living, breathing doll. He was starting to look more like...her.

Not that I cared or even paid attention to him but like I said, I couldn't help but notice.

Oh yeah, things were great, that is, until the first day of our junior year.

I had actually missed the first month of school along with Stan, Kyle, and Cartman. We had been on a "Mexican Adventure" thanks to Kyle insisting on setting free several dolphins into the ocean. He said it was for his dad and Stan being the whipped pussy he is for his best friend, (almost as much as he is for his current flame, Anne) had decided that we should all go along with him.


Okay, so maybe it wasn't so bad. I went along for the ride, hung out with my best friends and didn't have do anything.

Cartman being the "buff man" that he was, (sure he wasn't really what you would call fat anymore but there was still some pudge around his baby face) claimed the lifting rights. That suited me just fine, I just sat back and enjoyed my free vacation in Mexico.

Though I have to admit I did work diligently in the decorating of fattie's face with permanent marker after he passed out from exhaustion. He honestly thought he could lift 3 dolphins by himself, idiot.

When we returned to Colorado I didn't immediately run off and open my arms to embrace the hell known as school like the others. Instead I decided to spend a week home, I deserved a little break after all I had been through. It was hard trying to decide what to doodle on Cartman's pudgy face!

So when I finally decided to drag my fine ass to school I was, to say the least, in for a surprise.


It's bad I know and short...I hate beginnings they are always such a pain to write. That's why I figured I would just get it over with, like a band-aid. Ya know quickly rip it off or in this case write it down. Haha.

(that was a lame joke...i know, shut it)

Cassandra Phoenix