You're No Johnny Depp…

A/N: I thought of this after seeing the Battle of the Bands episode. Watching it, you can tell Michael Seater is wearing eyeliner. Anyways, enjoy and don't worry, I'll update Forbidden soon. Oh, and I don't own Life With Derek.

"Der-ek!" The familiar scream rang throughout the house and was shrill enough to practically shatter the windows. As if on cue, Derek Venturi sauntered into Casey McDonald's bedroom, a smirk playing on his lips.

"You rang, Princess?"

"Shut up! Where is my eyeliner?"

"I don't know. How the heck am I supposed to know where you left your makeup?"

"Derek, last week you took my whole makeup bag and hid it from me. Now I'll give you one more chance to answer me – where is my eyeliner?"

"Why'd I have your eyeliner. What do you think I am? Some sort of cross-dresser. I don't appreciate that at all, Casey," Derek said in feigned anger.

"I-I didn't mean to imply anything like that, Derek…" Casey was suddenly becoming apologetic, "I'd never say anything like that…"

"Yeah, well just hurry up and get ready. I'm leaving in ten minutes."

"But my eyeliner…"

Derek was already out of her room and down the hall. Casey rolled her eyes and slammed her bedroom door shut. She was not in the mood for Derek and his stupid little pranks. The Battle of the Bands started in thirty minutes and they had to be there early to set up. She'd just have to go without her eyeliner for once.


"Whoa, what are you doing?" Edwin asked.

"Nothing," Derek mumbled towards Edwin's reflection in the bathroom mirror.

"You…you're putting on eyeliner!"

"Edwin, Edwin, Edwin," Derek sighed, making his way over to the toilet where Edwin was currently watching him get ready for the concert, "Don't think of it as eyeliner. Think of it as…a black material used to bring out one's eyes."

"Yeah, like eyeliner," Edwin answered with a smile, completely missing the bugs that Derek had been driving.

"Edwin, cool people wear eyeliner."

"You made fun of me when I tried it once…"

"That was…different. Look, you know that picture Casey has on her wall?"

"Which one?"

"The one of that actor. The one with the white unbuttoned button-up shirt and the tattoos?"

"Oh, Johnny Depp!"

"It scares me that you know that kind of stuff," Derek rolled his eyes, "Anyways, she's always raving about this guy…"

"Johnny Depp!"

"Right. Him. Anyways, I was just thinking, if Johnny Depp can get so many girls' attentions while wearing eyeliner, then maybe tonight I should wear some. It couldn't hurt. Besides, Belinda Thompson is one of the judges and she has a picture of this Depp guy in her locker too so it might help us win."

"Uh, Derek, I hate to pop your balloon but don't you think Belinda Thompson will be judging based on talent not based on makeup?"

"It isn't makeup! Eyeliner is different!"


"Trust me on this, Edwin. My eyeliner will get me lots of attention for lots of girls tonight."

"Are you sure you're not just interested in one girl's attention?" Edwin mumbled.

"What was that?"



The stage was set. Bright performance lights shone from the ceiling and the depressing song of Sheldon Shleper was ringing throughout the cafeteria. Casey rolled her eyes and looked up at Derek who in turn nudged her. She was about to say something to him when she noticed his eyes – his once plain, ordinary, brown eyes. They were covered in thick, black eyeliner – her thick black eyeliner! She wanted to yell at him, tell him he looked stupid, tell him eyeliner was makeup and guys – normal ones at least – do not wear makeup! But Sheldon's song was sort of peaceful and moving and she chose against it. Instead, Casey scoffed and turned her attention back to the stage. They were up next and she needed to focus which meant not paying attention to Derek and his – her- eyeliner.


"I still can't believe we won!" Sam grinned as he high-fived Ralph.

"I know!" Derek laughed, "Couldn't have done it without you, Casey!"

"Thank you," Casey smiled before whispering, "Derek, can we talk. Alone."


Derek followed Casey out into the back hallway of their high school. She did not look happy.

"What did you want to…talk to me about?" Derek asked nervously.

"Derek, what is that on your eyes?" Casey asked, folding her arms over her chest.


"And whose eyeliner is it?"

"Your eyeliner."

"You have some explaining to do, Derek."

"I know, I know. It's just, I saw that poster you have on your wall of…"


"The guy. The old one. The one with the tattoos and the eyeliner."

"For the record, Johnny Depp is not old. Forty is the new twenty!"

"Uh-huh," Derek rolled his eyes, "Anyways, I heard you say that Johnny Depp is cute and I thought if he can wear eyeliner and get girl to notice him, so could I. So I wore some for the concert…so that the girls in the crowd would notice me more."

"Derek that is the most ridiculous thing I think I have ever heard!"

"It made sense when I was thinking about it."

"Derek everything makes sense when you think about it. It's just when you act on it, it doesn't make much sense to anyone else. So?"

"So what?"

"So did it work?"

"Did what work?"

"The eyeliner. Did it work?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

"What?" Casey was taken back, "What…do you mean?"

"You tell me, Casey, did it work. Did it get your attention?"

"Of course it got my attention! You stole my freaking eyeliner!"

"But it got your attention?"

"Not in a positive way, no."

Derek smirked and began to walk away. Frankly, he thought, it doesn't matter if it's positive or negative. Just, if for a moment, all her attention was focused on me.

"Don't you walk away from me!" Casey shouted, "You stole my eyeliner! And you lied to me!"

"Would you be this upset about it if it were Johnny Depp that had stolen your eyeliner?"

"Derek, you and I both know that you are no Johnny Depp."

"But I am Derek Venturi, Casey Marie McDonald," Derek smirked as he turned and faced her, "And you and I both know that you thought I looked pretty good up on that stage in your eyeliner."

"What? I never said…"

"You didn't have to."

A/N: So it's not my best, in fact, it's probably my worst but I thought it'd be fun to write and I hoped you enjoyed it.