a/n: vague spoilers for the entire game.

disclaimer: ffx and i don't belong in the same sentence together. period.


valor drive

whistle if you ever need me

i. after sin

Dear Tidus,

Zanarkand seems like a wonderful place. It truly does.

I- I hope you're back there now. Maybe not the r— the one you're from, but somewhere like it. A place you can call home.

We're... not getting along so good without you. Rikku gave up on me after a week. Lulu's so busy nowadays, warding all the travelers that want come to come see me now. I'm sort of famous, I guess. Just like you. Star player of the Zanarkand Abes, right?

...I miss you. Everyone does. I go to the Temple here— I'm back on Besaid— and pray to the fayth. There's not anyone else to pray to, or anything to pray for. Spira seems so peaceful now, but so tense. I could feel it in the air, when I went to Luca. The Yevonites bowed to me in the same way they used to, and the Al Bhed smiled at me in relief. It's like a rubber band. Spira is already stretched as far as it can go, and it's eventually going to snap back, but on the way, there will be whiplash.

But no one besides me really has the time to miss you. Like I said, they're all so busy. Wakka and Lulu are, now, officially a couple. I tease them about it every chance I get (it relieves them to see me smile and laugh). Kimahri went back to Mount Gagazet. Rikku's out there, traveling with Uncle Cid in his airship. She says she's going to start a club, or something. I wasn't exactly listening. I was staring out at the ocean, wondering... what my Aeon would have looked like. Would it have flown or swam or crawled? What would its element have been? With you, it would have been water...

Everyday I was in Luca, I stood wherever the land met the sea and whistled. I never heard anything but the waves and the wind and the seagulls. Somehow, I thought that if maybe I tried enough, tried hard enough, you would hear me, wherever you were. I just can't let go and believe you're in the Farplane. That'll be accepting you're d— that you were just a dream.

I think it's ironic. Everyone, at the beginning, thought that maybe you were dreaming, since you believed you were from Zanarkand. Except it turns out you're the dream, not the dreamer.

You know what's even more ironic? That everyone thought I would die in the end, after I had prayed and danced so many times. After I had just started living my life. I knew I would; I knew that I would die, the moment I took my first step on this crazy adventure.

Instead of me, though, you... died. It sounds strange. I mean, you didn't really even die— you just... disappeared. I'm not sure if it's fitting. But if you're dead you're dead, and I couldn't do anything to stop it. If you disappeared, I can find you again. I know I can. I know I will, even if no one else believes it.

I know I must sound a little crazy. I probably am; I have no idea how to struggle through this aftermath. Suddenly, Tidus, I'm expected to be graceful and courteous and set an example to the stragglers that still follow Yevon. No one else had ever been in this situation before. It's wonderful and terrifying at the same time, because for the first time, I know that I'll grow old and have children and see them have children, too. It makes me happy. I hope it'll be with you.

And— I know that even if you hadn't come on my journey and Rikku had found the solution by herself, I wouldn't be like this. I wouldn't be willing to do this. You taught me how to live. All I knew before was that I was going to die, but you... You opened my eyes. Or maybe it's more like you shouted and peeled them open forcefully, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

I suppose this letter— this letter that Lulu finds so insipid— is a thank you note. Thank you for everything. For loving me, for helping me. I would, most likely, be dead right now if it weren't for you.

I know you'll probably never read it. After all, what's a letter in a bottle to those who are... gone? But there's hope in it, just liket there's hope for me finding you.



(whistle for me, and i'll find you)

a/n: Ugh, I think my characterization of Yuna is terrible. Please forgive me for it and any other mistakes you might find in this fic, and I'm sure they're are some. It's unbetaed, unchecked, and it was written in fifteen minutes. Usually, at the least, I spend a day or two on my fics, but this was just something to get me back into the swing.

Feedback would be very much appreciated. Concrit on anything at all is sorely needed and sorely adored.

----valor drive, 12/16/08, 9:27 PM