"You can't be serious." There was a quaver to the voice. "Kakashi, after all we've been through…how can you do this to me? I thought I meant more to you than that, that you would never let something like this come between us. Kakashi, don't do this to us."
"Pakkun, stop being such a drama queen. I told you that food was fattening. If you had just listened to me, rather than stuff your face for four days solid, you wouldn't be in this predicament. As it is…as of today you are on a strict diet. End of discussion. And now I really do have to go hand that mission in. Iruka won't be happy if it's late. Or, at least, any later than it already is."
The Copyninja raised a hand in farewell and disappeared from his apartment in a whirl of smoke.
Pakkun glared at the patch of floor where his master had been standing.
This was too much to bear. The indignity of it! Kakashi had gone too far this time. This called for drastic action. This called for Iruka.
Resolving on a course of action the rotund pug nodded to himself and teleported himself away.
He didn't find breaking into Iruka's apartment as easy as expected and his opinion of the chuunin went up a few notches. However, he was Kakashi's dog so it was the work of only a moment to undo the non-lethal but imaginative traps he found around the window sill. The window itself was unlocked and Pakkun landed on the ground soundlessly and looked around. The apartment was fairly bland but there were plenty of personal touches: pictures of students (plenty with Naruto), a few scrawled drawings on the fridge, and a pile of unwashed dishes in the sink.
None of this held much interest for Pakkun, though. Especially since he and Kakashi's other ninken had already made a thorough investigation of the chuunin sensei and his apartment when they first detected Kakashi's interest in the man some months ago.
That investigation had revealed no hidden motives or suspicious behaviour but it had revealed to Pakkun one important fact: Iruka could cook. And it helped that the man was ridiculously softhearted and had a habit of feeding every stray that crossed his path. Pakkun was planning to take advantage of this fact while Kakashi was in his power-crazed Diet-For-Pakkun mode.
Pakkun waddled over to the pantry with purpose and perused the contents.
He sighed in delight. Ah, this was bliss. He honestly didn't mind if Iruka eventually let himself be caught by Kakashi. It would certainly keep him in a way of life that he was sadly unaccustomed to at present. Helping himself to a little smoked ham and chicken, he settled down to enjoy.
He was rudely interrupted a few minutes later as Iruka and Kakashi, desperately entwined in each others arms, arrived in the kitchen surrounded by the smoke of a teleportation jutsu. He felt it would be prudent to make a discreet exit as Iruka, his hitai-ate now covering his eyes, pulled down Kakashi's mask, shoved him up against the kitchen wall, and pulled him into a ferocious kiss.
Pakkun, accomplishing the physiological impossible feat of blushing under his fur, felt Kakashi's smug gaze on him for just a second before he glared and made a swift and mostly unnoticed exit.
He would have to find his Christmas snacks elsewhere now.