Author's Note: this is a Christmas present to...Paula!
They sat there opposite each other taking a sip of their milky tea in rather expensive and fragile china tea cups and then sighed. One of them sat up with a tall posture, her leg elegantly crossed over the other, she wore a tailored pink business suit with matching pearl earrings with her pale blonde hair clipped back in a graceful style. The other sat slouching slightly, she wore black jeans, dark coloured top and her leather jacket had been thrown over the arm of the sofa she was sitting on, and her dark blonde hair fell over her shoulders.
"Honestly, men all they do is fight and play with their little toys" Rose complained.
"Don't I know it, the last time this happened they were practically comparing their screwdrivers" Lucy said rolling her eyes.
"What they whipped them out of their trousers and compared sizes?" Rose said her eyes widening. "Jack must have had a field down"
"I wasn't talking about those screwdrivers" Lucy sneered. "That would be impolite and disgusting. I meant they were comparing the sonic screwdriver to the laser one...although I'm sure they would have ended up doing...what you suggested"
Rose snorted. "Men! Honestly they think it's all about the size and not-"
"The talent, I know, I know!" Lucy finished off with a smile. "Although my Harry...well he is very good if you're into that sort of thing"
"Into what?" Rose asked curiously. Lucy leaned over and whispered quickly into Rose's ear. "You mean you get that as well?! Must be some sort of Time Lord Kink, the Doctor does it as well occasionally"
"It's nice though isn't it?" Lucy said blushing.
"Oh yes" Rose agreed heatedly. The pair took a sip of their tea. "How come you call the Master, Harry? I thought he went a bit nuts if he doesn't get called the Master"
"Dear, he's already completely and utterly insane" Lucy said calmly. "Besides do you call the Doctor whatever it is you call him in bed outside the bedroom?"
"Oh!" Rose gasped, her eyes widening and a blush staining her cheeks. "Well...err...don't really call him anything but the Doctor to be honest"
Lucy nodded knowingly. "It's all right dear you don't have to tell me" she took a sip of her tea. "Does the Doctor have any weird fixations on food?" she asked wonderingly.
"Oh all the time. Bananas, marmalade and jelly babies. Drives me insane when I find the jelly babies in the bed. I keep telling him to not eat those goddamn sweets in bed and what does he do?"
"Eats them in bed" Lucy said rolling her eyes. "Typical, Harry does the exact same things. Only he doesn't go for jelly babies, you're lucky Rose that the Doctor is fascinated by soft sweets...Harry keeps leaving mint humbugs and I always end up with bruises on my back and legs"
"So it was just the mints? The Doctor thought the Master was...y'know, hitting you" Rose said as relieve washed over her, she was really starting to like Lucy and didn't want her to get hurt.
"Harry hitting me? Only if I wanted him too" Lucy snorted. "Harry might be a dominating bastard but he never hurts me unless I consent it"
"But didn't you shot him?"
Lucy sighed. "Plan D variation E" she muttered.
"Oh good god no" Rose groaned. "What is it with Time Lords and planning? The amount of plans the Doctor has drilled into my mind I might as well be a flipping soldier!"
"It's annoying isn't it? I'm sure Harry has a back up plan just to brush his teeth" Lucy said rolling her eyes. "Does the Doctor stroke the TARDIS?"
"All the bloody time!" Rose complained. "I'm like; shall I leave you two alone?"
"Harry was constantly touching it when he was making her into a paradox machine, kept calling her babe as well" Lucy shuddered. "He was like that with our car and helicopter as well"
"The Doctor is exactly like that about everything electronic, robots, toys, kitchen appliances" Rose said rolling his eyes. "I've banned him from the kitchen"
"What's even worse than the tinkering is the driving" Lucy carried on. "Always refusing to ask for directions, so of course we get lost"
"Always ended up in the wrong century and have a queen go on about my clothes" Rose muttered bitterly.
They girls sighed in unison and took a sip of their tea.
"LUCY! LUCY!" the Master came in running. "The Doctor has gone and spoiled my plans of taking the world again!"
Lucy sighed. "And what am I supposed to do about it Harry?" she asked.
"He's also taken my laser screwdriver!"
"Only because you used it to kill Jack – again!" the Doctor snapped entering the room.
"Is Jack all right?" Rose asked worried.
Both Time Lords shrugged.
"Fine, yes the mongrel is all right" the Master spat out. "He woke up fine and dandy and I got slapped by some raving ginger"
"Donna?" Rose asked in a whisper to the Doctor who nodded.
"And now Jack is happily snogging her, so yes he's fine" the Doctor said.
"Poor Jack and Donna" Lucy said. "Send them up and they can join us in a nice cup of tea"
"What?!" the Master and the Doctor shouted.
"And you two play nice, me and Lucy are still talking" Rose said warningly.
Five months later....
"How long does it take for three woman to talk?" the Master moaned.
"They've only been in there for an hour" the Doctor said raising an eyebrow. "Last month they were in there for five"
"I hate the Immortal Wives Club" Jack grumbled. "They always laugh when I come in"
"Jack, they laugh when any of us come in" the Doctor pointed out.
"Want to stop me trying to take over the world again?" the Master suggested.
"Nah, loses the excitement after the first ten million times" the Doctor yawned.
"Pub?" Jack offered.
"Yeah all right" the Doctor said jumping up onto his feet.
"You can buy me a pint Jackie-Boy" the Master said following them.
"Yeah right, way you're going I'm only buying you water...in a dirty glass" Jack muttered under his breath.