Disclaimer: Of course I own them. And if you believe that I've got a nice self playing oboe I'd like to sell you.
I'm dying, dying to wake up without you, without you in my head again. I'm dying, dying to forget about you, that you ever lived…I'm dying to live without you again…
Watching her walk away and through that gate was the second hardest thing I've ever done. The first was leaving her on that god-forsaken planet to begin with. But, God, watching her walk through the gate into open space, that almost killed me. It may not have looked like her, but in that final act, we all knew it was really Elizabeth Weir in that head. It was a testament to her strength that no matter what they did to her, they couldn't destroy her spirit. It almost broke all of us when we lost her for the first time, I didn't know if we could make it through it a second time.
The moment the gate closed, I was ready to take a jumper and get her back. The only thing stopping me was Rodney's warning that she was still too close to the gate to open it without killing her. So I waited. For three months I waited. Each day I grew more accustom to the never ending pain. Each day I felt another part of my broken soul die. Then, finally, the day came. We had convinced General O'Neill to give us the backing we needed against IOA, and with his and Sam's help, they finally caved and we had our ok. Not that would have stopped us for long. Rodney was already coming up with fabricated reasons for why we needed to go through that gate as a backup plan. But it didn't matter now. We were going to go get her.
We found her right where Rodney said she'd be. We brought her aboard and made our way back to Atlantis. She was so still. I could see the look of pain and despair on Jennifer's face, as she stood helplessly by, and I knew how it must be killing Rodney to see the women he loved like that, but I didn't care. All I cared about was the women I loved. All I could see was her. So I held her. I held her and I prayed to any god who could hear that we weren't too late. Those few moments were the most terrifying of my entire life, those helpless moments of waiting for some sign of life. We just sat there, not even bothering to leave the Jumper, waiting for her to move.
Finally… she did.
"John?" I heard her whisper. The voice wasn't the one I remembered, the one I had loved and longed for for so long, but it was still the best thing I had ever heard.
"I'm here 'Lizabeth. I'm here and you're here. You're safe in Atlantis. You're safe." I told her, kissing her hair. I could feel her tears on my chest. She was holding me so tight that I knew I was going to be bruised in the morning, but I didn't care. I wouldn't have really cared if I had died in that moment. She was safe. That was all that mattered.
"I love you." She whispered into my shoulder.
"I love you too." I told her and I felt her smile. It was then I knew, we'd all be ok.
I'm dying, dying to die just to come back so we can meet again. I'm dying, dying to say what I've always, always should've said…I'm dying and I can't live without you again…
A/N: The song is "Dying" by Five for Fighting. I don't usally do Sparky even though I love them but this just happened. I hope you enjoy it.