This is my first Office Fan Fic. All the empty lines are where the characters are asked questions. I'm guessing you can fill them in based on what the characters say. One question is asked, and all the characters in the office respond. Chapter 1 is set in Season 1, although other questions might be set in other seasons, with other characters. If you have a question you want asked (or a particular reaction from one of the characters to said question) review, or PM me. =D
Let's all cheer and celebrate!
FIRST OFFICE FAN FIC!
What Is One Thing An Office Needs to Survive?
What do I think an Office needs to survive? Um...If I had to say anything? Paper clips. And folders. I would die if I didn't have paper clips and folders. I have a special folder where I keep drawings.
No, not mine. Michael does...characture of people in the office.
Example? Um...well, he did one of me...I looked like cousin It. And he did one of Toby, but he got mad halfway through and scribbled it out. It..it looked better then the one of me.
Mine? It's in the folder. He asks if I have it sometimes, and I say I carry it with me every day...
Because of the uncanny resemblance.
Yea, I think he did take an art course.
Me? Well, I do like drawing. But no. I don't have any time for stuff like that...
Well, the office...and Roy.
Roy is my fiance.
I do love him.
What about Jim? He's a friend. A good friend.
No. No...he doesn't think of me like that- and I don't think of him like that either. I've got Roy.
No. Wasn't the question what I thought an office needed to survive?
I thought so. I answered that. Okay?
Ah...ah...an office. An Offiiiiiiccccce. An office. An office needs a lot to survive. It's like...you know what it's like? It's like a clock. It has all these hands, and times, and we have all these things to do...and people go Coo-koo!
Yea, I'm a comedian. But, being serious? I love it here. This is like my second house. My home away from home. There's no place like home!
Wizard of Oz....
You know who I'm like? The Wizard of Oz- I'm running this fantastic magical place. Except I'm not a guy hiding behind a curtain. What you see is what you get....Yep...Toto....
I know. It's still paper.
I'm not advertising for the company! I personally know that paper is the most important thing in a workplace, and, luckily, I know a company that sells it extremely cheap. Dunder Mifflin.
I know. Paper is still most important.
Other then paper? Pens. To write on the paper.
Are you looking for a specific answer- because you're ignoring my perfectly good ones.
Fine. Other then paper and pens: Customers. And you know who takes excellent care of customers?
Strong faith. Without strong faith, a company has no chance of surviving.
How do I know this? I knew someone who didn't have strong faith. They started a company.
What happened? They got run over.
Yes, they had faith, but not strong faith. They weren't loyal to our Savior.
She was a whore.
No. She was married.
No, she didn't have an affair- but you should have seen the clothes she wore.
No, I do think she deserved to get run over. You could see her shoulders in those shirts she wore. The Whore of Babylon wasn't the star of the Bible. Jesus was.
Other then faith? Nothing.
No, nothing. What's more important than our lord, in the workplace or not?
No, not paper clips! Who said paper clips?!
What's most important in a workplace? Hm....the workers?
Cause they do the work?
Well, sure, the customers are important, too.
Cause they do the buying.
Other then them? Paper.
No, I'm not advertising the company. Who would do that? No, paper is good for football.
Me and Pam.
I got it over to her desk yesterday, and she actually shouted, 'Foul!'. I told her that she should make a flag. I saw her this morning and she took a yellow napkin out of her pocket.
Pam? She's a friend.
No, we're just friends.
Oh! I thought of another office vital. Snack machines.
Yea; lifesavers. Pam got me a soda from there yesterday, and she shook it up before she gave it to me. It wasn't a type I liked, so she said, 'Why don't you give it to Dwight?'. He had been in the room the entire time, so he took it, and opened it, and it got all over him. It was great.
No, I'm talking about the prank, not Pam.
Why? Why not? Do I look like the kind of person who wants to sit in an office all day?
What do I think is important for an office? I don't know. I guess computers, because if we didn't have computers, we couldn't record how much paper we sold, and if we didn't know that, then we'd be a sucky company, and no one wants to buy paper from a sucky company so if we got rid of computers, we wouldn't have customers anymore, and if we didn't have customers we wouldn't have jobs anymore. Like, I had this friend and she worked at McDonalds, and then a Burger King moved in next door, and she was so cute. She had just gotten this Areopostle shirt- it was blue- and she had dyed her hair brown, even though I liked it more when it was blond, because she is such a ditz, and with brown hair you aren't warned about the blondness, you know? Although, I have another friend who is a blond, and she is, like, super-smart, and she just graduated college, and all she wants for her birthday are these huge books, and I mean HUGE- I don't think Brad Pitt could lift them, and he's kinda ripped. Like, I saw this picture of him on this magazine, and he wasn't wearing a shirt, and you should have seen his abs. I mean, he must work out, like, EVERY day. I wonder what gym he goes to, because rich and famous people have to go to other gyms, right? I mean, I know if I was famous, I wouldn't go to Shapes. I'd go to a really fancy place with, like, gold you can lift. Of course, I heard that gold turns your fingers green, but I don't think that's true, because gold is, like, yellow, you know? But, I wouldn't mind green on my fingers. But I'd mind yellow, because it seems obnoxious, you know? I'm not all in-your-face, you know? I'm easy-going. But yellow- it's not mellow like that song says it is. Oh! I heard this song on the radio on my way to the supermarket the other day-
I already told you. Computers. Duh. Haven't you been listening?
We need a reason?
Relationships. If one relationship is a little off, then the entire office changes.
Me? I'm divorced. But I have a daughter.
Here? Um. No. No one.
I don't know. Pam, I guess.
No reason. Just if I had to choose.
Maturity. That's why this Office is probably gonna be absorbed.
A good attitude. With a good attitude, you can make sales, and you can make friends.
I don't know. I like to think I'm friends with everyone in the office.
One person? I guess Angela.
One word? Rude.
Something an Office needs to survive? You mean like a smoke detector?
Oh. Like...a fire hydrant?
Oh. Um...can I get a hint?
Oh. My opinion. Um. Vacation days?
We have to have a reason, too?
Okay. Because...they're fun?
Oh. Because they're...restful?
For the brain? Which helps make sales?
Oh, thank God. Can I leave now?
I'm confused. Why are we videotaping daily life in the office? Who would watch that?
I don't think anyone's life is that boring.
Fine, believe what you want to.
An efficient time table in which to get work done.
Well, we did have tests.
So, I could have experience.
Yea, I think Michael likes me...
No, I'm fine.
I'm not acting weird. I'm just saying that I think Michael likes me a lot. What's wrong with that?
No, I'm not gay!
I don't know. Pam's cute. And that Kelly girl.
Um...Keper, I think? What did she say?
Computers, you think? What's that supposed to mean?
What? Never mind. Anyways, computer is a good answer. She seems smart.
Naw, I don't think she's too talkative. Besides, the more they talk, the less you have to. I bet I can get a date with her within the day. Remember: efficient time table.
End of chapter. Okay- any suggestions for the next question? I don't know how many chapters I'll do. I think I'll see if people like it. If they don't, it'll stay as a oneshot.
Btw- I know a few people are OOC, like Oscar is COMPLETELY OOC, I think. He'll be better in later chapters(if there are other chapters)