Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
I never had a happy childhood; I didn't get to play around with everyone else. I know this one memory: I ran over to the swings I saw children play, smiling, they had great wide grins on their faces. When I got closer their parents would turn around, they were not very nice. Adults could be so cruel at times. I was only five at the time. I did not truly understand, maybe even now I do not get it. Life is like that, sometimes the simplest answers to our questions are right in front of us. We tend to ignore them, deny them perhaps.
I was so ignorant; I was not stupid, just a bit slow. How would you feel if you were the shortest child in your generation, starved, greasy, smelly, and disliked. I was hated, it hurt. It hurt so much. I read books when I was a kid; I learned to read because I had a lot of spare time. The Hokage gave me the basics, but I took up all the rest. I did the best I could with the words I knew which were not very much. I would like to think that's what makes me the man I am today, I did not give up. People lied to me, especially my academy teachers; it was not until Iruka Sensei, my long time friend and mentor, showed me that I could be something more. Slowly, I attempted to change my ways, have a better outlook on life.
At the time I could have done of two things, I could prank people, really get underneath their skin. Or I could have reciprocate my feelings, make them sad, make them angry, and make them feel what I feel. Make them wish they did not live in this village. It was tempting. Very much so. But that just was not me, I was a child, children do not have malice. Children are just that, they are kids. I am not ashamed to admit that when I was old enough to know what the word suicide meant that I had tried one or two forms of it.
But I was too scared to pull it through. I was a coward.
I was hurt, people hurt me. They made me feel ugly, made me feel unwanted. They ended up crushing who I was more than once, at some point I tried to tell myself "Date-bayo" I could do this, I could keep up this lifestyle. But that is just not right. I am not some superhuman. I am not a hero of justice. I was a simple kid; I could break like everyone else. After all that was the reason why I broke, they tore me up inside. By the time I had reached my early teenage hood things had gotten terribly wrong.
It just did not work out like I wanted to. Maybe in another world Uzumaki Naruto could be accepted by everyone in the planet, they would love him ,care for him. Perhaps he would have had a large family, a dozen children, maybe. I do not know. I did not even get a chance to have someone tell me they love me, it hurt. Many people will spend their lives never understand what it means to never be loved. For the most part they have their families, mother, father, siblings, etc. I would have settled for any. I did end up getting a God father; he was a pervert, a very vile person.
But I loved him.
Not the kind of love that is inappropriate. He had his faults, people are not perfect, I am living proof of that. I was not the best shinobi, I did not have any special fancy jutsu, I did not have any great bloodline. I had a lot of chakra, but no one showed me how to use it. I am sorry, I am rambling too much about myself. I have a question. If you can take a minute to answer please do. If you had one wish to travel to one place, at any time, just once: what would you wish that place to be?
If you were given a choice to turn back the hands of time where would you want that hand to land?
I was not given a choice for where I wanted to land. It was forced out of me, my belly screamed. Blood tore from my very being. It ripped and garnered. How I wish this did not happen to me. I died screaming in agony, from the distance I could see the fox, even he pitied me. The fool. It was going to die and it was looking at me with sadness, its body turning into nothing. How ironic really. The Fourth sealed him to keep him from destroying the Village, now its going to be sealed into something to destroy the Earth. I was not angry at the Fourth. I let that go. The man paid for it with his life. What more could I do to him?
"Naruto, gaki. Take it."
"Take what? I have nothing left. I have given everything I have. What more do you want from me. Have I not done enough? I-." Then I paused I was not the most handsome person in the world. I did not want to die in a dramatic way. I was no hero. Let me be honest to myself.
"I-I am tired. I am very tired Kyubi. I don't mind if this is the end. People live. People die. I am going to join the latter," I whispered to it. I saw his body floating away. There was romantic violin music in the background. I know it was not really there. It was a delusion. I was making it for myself. If I die I wanted to end my life with something to remember that I was who I am. That I did not die like any common fool, I had dignity. Watching the creature rear back its head something was coming out.
A large ball, a very fast ball, spinning like a vortex.
And the world span.
"Kushina what are doing with that boy, you should just leave him."
I heard a voice speak out. It was childish; a bit of a sneer was melded into it. It was a girl's voice, but one I had never heard before. My eyes felt heavy, droopy. It felt so cold; I believe I was shivering at that point. I tried to get up but it was not possible. Suddenly I felt something grasp me, gentle hands. They were so small too. Whoever it was carried me on a very delicate back.
Resting on the shoulder blades I finally opened my eyes.
In front of me was a very dirty red haired girl, from head to two she was covered in mud. She looked tired. Her expression was a bit bitter and strained. I could tell that she was not used to carrying heavy things or maybe someone not as heavy as me. What was worse was she was a child. A child. A child should not have been able to carry me. It is not possible; my weight would crush her very being. I took a sniff, I smelled the scent of the ocean, and the girl had an interesting smell. The mud though did not do her credit.
A thought surrounded me. I looked around and saw what I was, what my body had become.
My body had shrunk. That was the only way to explain it, I saw my hands that were wrapped around the girl's neck, they were so thin. The girl turned around, her blue eyes saw into my own, she had nice eyes. I stared at them for a second, perhaps longer. I am not entirely sure which one of us reacted first.
I took a moment to study her; she was much tanned for a girl. Her red hair contrasted a lot with her overall features. I have seen many girls in my life before, but I do not believe I have ever met someone that resembled her so much. She was very thin also, very short. She wore an orange shirt and, black shorts; on her back was a symbol that I was all too familiar with.
"Hi," I told the girl. What more could I say? It seems that she was helping me. My body was so numb, but as a person it was hard to not feel a bit ashamed being such a burden to her. I think I squeezed my small hands around her neck a bit tighter. She gave me a tighter grin, it seems I was a bit heavier than I thought.
"Do you want me to get off. I might be too heavy."
"Are you sure."
She took a moment to respond, but it didn't look like she said no. I sighed and lay my head into her back, I think I felt numb at the time, maybe not, but I did not want to move. I looked around me, it was getting darker and the night was approaching. Glimpses of the moon shining. I could not move either way and it would not be so bad to get a ride here.
So I took a ride on her small back, while she carried me into the forest. I am not sure where I am. I do not know where I am going. Like a voice from a distant star, I travel. Whether someone will ever really hear me, whether the message I wanted people to see will ever be heard, its all relative, like gravity. Falling down, into the depths.
I closed mey eyes, my battered body couldn't take anymore. I let her carry me as I entered a new world.