Then their eyes met silence.
Rukia nodded and her frown sharpened. "So let me go, Ichigo." But he did not listen. Her lids slipped barely as the softness of his lip touched hers.
But…there was nothing wrong kissing a friend goodbye…
She looked up at him, and her hands hesitantly gripped his shirt while his hands cupped her face. Her fingers curled tighter as the pad of his thumb caressed her small, pretty lips. That "what if" question crossed both of their minds again.
What if I was human and I stayed with you…?
What if you were human and you stayed with me…?
He lowered his face to hers again, his lip grazed hers, teasing even. Then, in the last moment of stillness, they truly kissed. It was slow, soft, and unsure. Her hand trailed to his face while his travelled to her silky hair. His fingers became lost and tangled with her strands, holding her still, just in case she decided to run away again.
She moaned against his mouth, parting for a brief moment to breathe before joining him again. The kiss progressed to something more; something more greedy. And somehow, one kiss became more…
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Kubo Tite does.
Summary: Orihime and Renji both got what they wanted… what they loved. After many, many years, their partners meet again and Ichigo and Rukia wonder if they made a big mistake. [IchiRuki]
Author'sNote: Same stuff as I said last time. This is part two. Um, some smut-like scenes for mature readers. Enjoy! And thank you for your reviews!
A Night of Many Sins
part two of two
I know you didn't mean to look at me like that
But you have to stop
Because I'm not your wife
You may be right though,
About me being your soul mate
I just can't stop looking at you either.
So one night, you said?
One night to pretend
that this is okay?
Once Upon a Time
He knew she liked high places. It didn't take him long to find her sitting in one of her favourite trees. "Oi, Rukia!" His head tilted backwards before he waved for her to come down. "Dinner is ready. Yuzu is waiting."
Rukia didn't look down at him, nor she did she move.
Unfortunately for her, Ichigo didn't like being ignored. "Rukia."
Still, she didn't budge. Ichigo muttered some choice words under his breath and walked back inside. After he finished dinner (his father and sister harassed him for not forcing Rukia to the table), Ichigo returned to the tree. He found her in the same spot, in the same tree. She appeared like a doll, like she wasn't human. Because it was weird for anyone to be in a position like that for a long time and not move or change expression.
"OI, RUKIA! HELLO!"
Maybe it was him yelling that broke whatever trance she was in. "What?" And she gave him her full attention.
"Dinner is getting cold. Go and eat. Dad and Yuzu are getting worried." Ichigo's voice held a trace of annoyance as he jabbed a thumb towards the house.
Almost immediately Rukia moved. Her thin body slipped down the tree and her entire body language including her expression seemed saddened. Ichigo did not comment on her unhappy mood, and watched her trek inside the house. She didn't say anything else to him.
But the next time he saw her, she was in the tree again. Weird.
She didn't ignore him when her eyes rolled downwards. "Hmm?"
Ichigo stared at her for a moment before climbing up. Grunting, he managed to sit beside her, pushing her along the tree bark. "Is this your new clubhouse or something?"
"I was just thinking." Their eyes locked for a brief moment before she turned away.
He made a face. "About what? Something is wrong with you."
Rukia squeezed the bark she sat on and was hesitant to say anything. But he would have to find out sooner or later. "You know, I can't stay here forever." She glanced down at her belly for a moment, took in a deep breath, and forced herself to look away.
Such a thought had never crossed his mind. Of course she was part of his family. But…
"I don't belong on the human world. I am a shinigami. Even though I go to school and pretend like I'm a human, I'm not." Her voice sounded strained and almost confused. But the determination and truth in her eyes were clear. "I'm not a human." She had really thought a lot about this, Ichigo surmised.
"So, what are you saying?"
Rukia didn't exactly spell it out to him. "I dream about you, Ichigo." Her gaze was attracted to the sunset ahead of them. "I dream about when you saved me. About the times you were about to die. And about the time you were hurt and I couldn't help you." She had come to the startling conclusion that she was too attached to him. Rukia did not say this out loud of course, but instead looked at him with her most honest expression she could conjure up. She told him, "I am obligated to go back."
Ichigo did not understand her. "You're not in some sort of trouble, are you?" He glanced at her stomach before looking back at her troubled face.
She shook her head. "I'm not in trouble with Soul Society. It's just time."
There was a long pause for a moment. "What if I don't want you to go back?" His gaze was also caught on the sunset behind his house and he welcomed the pretty sight. It was a good distraction for him.
And for her too. A long moment passed by, allowing his words sinking deep into Rukia's heart. "I'll keep that in mind."
That night, he found her in his bed. Though she had a place in his sister's room, sometimes Rukia would sneak back into his closet. Normally, she would sleep in there as he left everything as it was for her but there were some nights when she would sleep in his bed.
Those nights were when she had the worst dreams or if it was raining. Tonight, it was raining.
It was strange how comfortable he had become around her. Strange how he had not a second thought in his mind as he slipped under the covers and her little head tucked under his chin. Her arm would encircle his waist and he would breathe in the scent of her hair. She always smelled good. Her skin was always soft. God, these little things about her always seemed to draw his attention, and then he would feel these things in his stomach. He tried not to think too much on it.
The rain beat heavily against the window with a pitter patter pitter patter sound. He took in a deep breath and the scent of wildflower and clean sheets infiltrated his nostrils. "You're not going to really leave, are you?"
The petite shinigami frowned yet made no attempt to move. "Don't you see anything wrong with what we're doing right now?"
So she had finally acknowledged it. They had a demented relationship. They fought. They bickered. But tonight, she was here, in his bed. And they held each other behind closed doors. And they adored each other in secret.
"You're the one who came here first," he pointed out.
"You never kicked me out," Rukia countered.
Ichigo frowned, unable to counter that point. He moved to another topic swiftly. "How's your stomach?"
The other reason why she was in his bed was because she was hurt. A hollow got to her and tried to bite into her stomach. A familiar rage washed over the young man at that moment hours ago. He realized it was clearly blatant as to why such rage was fierce.
Because she was his friend. Dearest friend. But unlike the rage he experienced for the injustices inflicted on his other friends, this rage took him over. It was all-consuming. He wanted to dice the enemy to pieces. He wanted to crush his opponent into nothingness. He wanted to yell and scream and cut and kill and destroy.
Though, she was annoying, she was Rukia.
A shinigami. A human pretender. Rukia.
His hand traced down to her wound, careful to touch her. "Did you replace the bandage?" he asked, almost whispering.
She shook her head barely, but enough so that he can feel her response. "I can't remember."
"Maybe you should, just in case."
She didn't want to move and the "Mmm" sound made it obvious. "I'll be okay. Look at you. You're worse than me, you know."
"But I take care of myself, eventually. Or I get Orihime to heal me." He paused, wetting his lips. "We could have gotten Orihime to heal your stomach."
"You want to go out in the rain now?" Her voice was getting slower, as if being slowly drugged by sleep.
"No." His hand began to stroke that soft area just below her belly-button. "So lie back so I can change it."
Reluctantly and slowly, Rukia rested on her back and watched him. He waited for her to pull her shirt up, but she didn't. He made another face, something akin to a scowl, but not quite. Instead, he gently pulled her pajama shirt upwards, revealing her tight belly with a bandage in the center.
In the next moment, Ichigo quickly pulled off the tan-bandage and applied his father's disinfectant in languid dabs, careful not to hurt her. This was nothing new - treating patients, that is. He had done this kind of work for his father but unlike other patients, they did not physically distract him the way she did.
Ichigo turned away before applying a new bandage. His finger brushed against her flesh, and they both felt the sear of fire tingling under their skin.
What was that?
In a bold act, the back of his index finger grazed the side of her stomach, amazed at the softness of her skin. He didn't look at her face until she said his name. "Ichigo?"
His hand touched the curve of her cheek. The rain's song began to diminish. "What if I told you...I really liked you?" Translation: I love you, so don't go.
She laughed softly, a chuckle. "I would say; I like you to." Translation: I love you too, and if it were up to me, I wouldn't leave you.
He was finished, but his hand was still on her belly. His body gravitated over her and before he resumed the position he was in earlier, his lips touched hers in a gentle kiss. He couldn't stop. It was as if he was under some sort of spell. And she did not stop him either. Her hands pulled on his shirt, pressing him closer. Feeling him on her skin was not a new sensation, but like this, with her taste on his tongue… this was something entirely different. Exciting. New…
When I Became Human That Night
Her breath tickled his face.
His fingers explored her every curve.
Her lips kissed him thoroughly.
And his tongue seared little fires her flesh.
In the back of her mind, she knew it was wrong.
In the back of his mind, he knew it was wrong.
To justify it with – I am human – doesn't make it right either.
So, why am I here?
She moaned as her head whipped backwards when his mouth made sucking contact with her breast.
I'm here because we have passion?
Her fingers were lost in his hair and she played at his scalp, unbeknownst to her that it was driving him crazy. He groaned in response.
That is a superficial reason. But… that extra-elated feeling, that involuntary smile, that sense of true belonging and connection…
His mouth trailed upwards to hers, his hand grasping the flesh of her backside. The other held her tiny hands within his, closing in on her so there was no space between them.
I am with this person right now…because I still lo—
She shuddered from a sudden chill. "Ichi—" He covered her mouth again and lifted her up so she had better access to him. Her legs instinctively encircled his waist.
No other thoughts entered their minds as tongues tasted, fingers explored, and searing fire burned them to their core. She remembered how muscular and lean his body was when she kissed his chest and now that he was older he was slightly bigger than he was in his adolescence years. The planes of his muscles elicited excitement as her palm trailed downwards to his hard abs, right to the hairy line that led to the hem of his pants.
She shut her eyes tightly when she wanted them off, and him completely naked. Her brain didn't seem to work though. Not when his lips continuously crashed against hers or on her skin, or some where else, which made thought processing an impossibility.
Maybe this was why words were not exchanged. Or perhaps they truly reveled in the moment together, their only night together. The only sounds heard were his pants, her gasps, his groans, and even her laughter when he tickled her between her legs.
He felt her grab a fistful of orange hair when he dared kiss her there. But he did, he kissed her, tasted her and drank her juices, and Ichigo was satisfied to leave her crying out and trembling.
Then he felt her hands on his waist. Where his top had gone, he didn't know, but he watched her suddenly slow her pace. As if unwrapping a present, she slid the black material down without the aid of gravity. On her knees, her eyes rolled upwards and saw the size of him from the bulge of his boxers. She saw the need in him.
And though it was dark, Ichigo was almost sure that she was smiling.
He stepped out of the pools of clothing, discarding his footwear and waited for her to get up. But she did not. Her tiny fingers trailed up his strong legs to his boxers. And she pulled. Pulled so quickly, so suddenly, his eyes widened at her audacity.
Yet, they never said anything to each other.
Oh, how moral thought was lost. Even when her fingers were intertwined his, there was no wedding band and she never questioned it. Marriage? He belonging to someone else did not cross her mind. And when he thrusted her against the tree, her fingers lost in orange, his mouth on pink – still, no other thought existed.
And so there was no need for words. Not till it was unbearable, till the fireworks came, that moment where she cried out his name. Over and over and over. Like waves, they rode on the orgasm. She could hear her name time, just after when she said his. His tone was almost of desperation, like she would be lost to him forever. And then she felt wetness on her face after it all… after the pleasurable moment of sin.
The tears on her face fell on his shoulder. He knew what it was and with the curve of his finger, he wiped them away. Rukia did not look at him though. Her eyes could make out her scattered robes. Then, she pulled away and he let her go.
The sky was full of stars and full of wonders. But her attention was not on such beautiful sights when her lips were swollen, legs wet and skin covered with sweat. The feeling was raw; it left her soul confused.
"I became human tonight," she started, frowning. "And this is wrong." She turned and her legs carried her to him. Her slender hand snaked to his and he squeezed gently, as is to comfort her.
After a moment or two, he pulled her into an embrace and held her.
She became human tonight. Not literally a human, but human enough to make mistakes. Human enough to want and need someone. Human enough to sin. And sin. And sin.
He kissed her again, which ended the short train of her rational thought.
"You think she will forgive you?"
He shook his head. "She loves me more than the world. She might… she will, but it will break her heart. I don't want to hurt her. But I can't," he paused, and licked his lips, "I can't lie." Ichigo looked at her. Dawn was coming and they had been together all night. A sickening feeling dwelled in his stomach.
"Tell her I'm so sorry. I want to tell her I'm sorry."
Then he stopped her, "No, don't. This is not your fault." Then silence loomed over the pair.
Rukia tucked her head under his chin when she told him, "Renji will hate us and call off the wedding. I think he knows I never loved him." He felt her shake her head subtly before clarifying herself. "I love him, but not in the way he wants me to. I don't love him the way he loves me." She pressed her lips against his collarbone. "If I tell him, I bring shame to my family name." And her voice broke. How she loved her brother. How she never wanted to disappoint him. But this – what she had done… it was unforgivable.
"Byakuya won't disown you," he told her, trying to convince her otherwise. But when she pulled back and looked at her, indigo eyes betrayed her; she did not believe Ichigo.
Then, worry lines creased her forehead. "But at least you will have a place to go. You can just rent an apartment or go back to your father's."
"What are you talking about? You always have a place with me." Then they met in understanding.
"It would be simpler if we pretended like this didn't happen."
"Until Soul Society."
She laughed a bit. "Or some threat in the Living World. Oh let's not hope for another Aizen though."
And they laughed. But the joyous sound died as they realized time waited for no one. Then they would have to face their consequence. Ichigo did not know if she could go through with it. He didn't know what he was capable of doing, either.
But he didn't say anything else. She will leave. And such a thought – her departure, again - tore his heart into a trillion pieces.
It had been years since he last saw him, but nothing really changed. He was still ugly, tall, maybe he had a few more tattoos but he had a stupid look on his face and a red ponytail.
And today, like most days, he looked angry.
Ichigo stopped mid-step amidst the crowds of people hurrying home. "What?"
Renji came forward and grabbed his collar. Dangerous eyes met hazel. "Where is she?! Where is Rukia!?"
Confusion gathered in his eyes. "S…She was supposed to be with you, in Soul Society. She left six months ago."
The people around Ichigo gave the young man strange looks, but no one stopped to see what was going on and why this orange-haired male was talking to himself.
"How can she be with me if she left me to be with you?!" Renji's words filled the air in a large boom of anger, spite, and warning.
Ichigo's eyes further widened. After that night, she kissed him and said goodbye. She said "Live your life, be happy. Make Orihime happy. Be the best man you can be." She said she would tell Renji and she was confident enough to convince Ichigo that Renji would forgive her. Wedding bliss would be highly unlikely, though. She said that he, Ichigo, meant too much to her to ruin his life.
She said so many things.
But Ichigo told her, if shit hit the fan, she'd always have a place, a home, with him.
"Renji, she left. She was supposed to marry you." Ichigo barely managed to speak, especially when Renji's eyes burned with the intent to kill.
Suddenly, the Vice-Captain sighed loudly. Then, his face grew tired and sad. "She told me about you two, you know. I always knew you two had something special, but I didn't think it was that." His voice was almost strangled, but Ichigo could hear him clearly. "She never loved me, did she?" Renji made eye contact with the younger man and nodded at the silence. "You honestly don't know where she is?"
Ichigo shook his head.
"Are you still married?"
Ichigo shook his head again and showed Renji his bare finger.
"Orihime didn't forgive you?"
Ichigo's frown sharpened. "She said she did, but I couldn't be with her if I didn't forgive myself."
Renji nodded and then suddenly his arm flew out to punch Ichigo in the jaw. Ichigo tumbled back with a deep scowl and angry eyes as he rubbed the sore spot. Instinctively, he was going to ask what the hell the punch was for, but then he realized he had deeply hurt Renji. And he was a friend.
"I deserved that one." Ichigo tasted the blood in his mouth as he bowed his head forward. His orange locks covered his guilty eyes.
Renji smirked vaguely, but turned around. "When I find her, I'll send her to you."
"What?" He looked up in shock.
Renji took a few steps away from the human. "You heard me. Obviously you're both too stupid to know when you have something good." Then he looked thoughtful, as if reliving a vivid memory. "She cried a lot. And I have never seen someone apologize as much as she did." He couldn't hate her. "She never cries this much, unless it comes to you."
Ichigo was at a loss of words. Her pain. Renji's grief.
"I'm sorry." His apology was next. He had to say it before Renji disappeared. And he hoped the shinigami would forgive him too.
She always knew he has a place in his heart for her. But she always knew Rukia had a bigger piece of his heart, and he never admitted it till now.
Orihime was hysterical. She was crying. The weight in her chest was so heavy that she just wanted to rip her heart out to make the pain stop. In between her sobbing, she managed to ask, "Do you love her?" It was a question she always wondered, but was always too much of a coward to ask.
She had nothing to lose now though.
Ichigo was silent for a long time. And then finally he nodded and she got her answer.
When he first met her, he saw a butterfly. A black butterfly. A death butterfly.
That was ten years ago.
This time when he saw it – the butterfly – he found her.
And for sure, this time, he wouldn't let her go.
Hazel and violet met.
The petite shinigami better faced him and he could see how drained she was. But relief washed through him and as he couldn't help but smile at her, something shone in her eyes.
He wanted to say something like, "What took you so long?" or, "If you didn't come any sooner, I would have gone to Soul Society," but he didn't. Instead, he watched her climb into room through the window and waited for her to say something.
"Yo," she answered, her yellow dress looking brown in the dark. A moment passed. "What do we do now?" How do we atone for the mistakes made?
Ichigo shrugged but moved towards her so that soon there was little space in between them. "I don't know." Maybe we never will…
She was quiet, hesitant, like a spooked animal, until there was no distance separating the two bodies.
They knew things were not going to be easy given the circumstances of their union. They also knew there were going to be further consequences for their actions. And they knew there was a price to be paid for every sin committed.
It was unspoken, of course, but understood.
Then Ichigo said something that surprised her. "We start living now." Hazel eyes became golden and intense. "We live. That's not a sin, is it?"
Her pretty mouth opened slightly at his words. Then her head nodded in agreement. "No…" And she understood the hidden meaning when his lips touched hers in the briefest kiss.
That was it all it took to start pushing the gears forward… again…
And the black butterfly disappeared.
It would have sounded better if it was all together as one chapter but then, that'd be too long. But I hoped you enjoyed the story. Remember to review! Thanks!!! Suggestions for future stories are welcomed!