Story:Tooth Ache

Summary: One shot. After a little sparring accident, Teyla drags John to the infirmary, only a tooth ache isn't something Carson is best equipped to deal with. So he sends a very reluctant John and amused Teyla on to the experts. A little bit of Sheyla.

Spoilers/Timeline: No spoilers, set somewhere in mid-season 1 of Stargate Atlantis

Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis is owned by MGM and whoever else actually owns it… I certainly don't!

Authors Notes: Well, I don't whether it's because I've worked in a dentists for 5 years or whether I'm just weird, but one day I randomly thought whether they'd have dentists on Atlantis. They should, I mean I doubt a doctor could do a decent filling or crown etc. And then this turned into what happens when someone needed to see a dentist. And for me it turned into John and Teyla! There's a little bit of Sheyla in it, but it can be taken either way. My first Stargate Atlantis fic!

(PS. Dentist's aren't usually this inconsiderate (or incompetent) and I'm pretty sure that whatever dentist they have on Atlantis he would be the best of the best, but that wouldn't make as good a story, now, would it?!)

Tooth Ache

Dr. Carson Beckett looked at his watch and sighed. Just five minutes till he was off duty. It had been a relatively uneventful day, just a few small burns on a scientist team whose experiment had shorted out on them and a botanist who was feeling a bit queasy.

In fact, it had been so quiet, that he was sure that now, with just five minutes to spare before it was someone else's problem, trouble would be walking right through that door.

And so trouble did.

Or, rather, trouble was dragged in, complaining, by Teyla Emmagan.

"Ah, Major Sheppard," Carson said, walking towards the protesting officer, already pulling on surgical gloves. "I was wondering whether I'd see you or Rodney in here today." He stared at the sulking Major, before adding, "Although, from the noise, I was expecting Rodney."

"Well, that's because I'm being dragged here against my will," he said, glaring at Teyla, who shoved him onto the bed. "And I'm complaining because it's not necessary – there's nothing wrong with me! Just a little bit of a knock."

Carson looked at Teyla.

"We were sparring and he accidentally struck himself in the jaw," she said serenely, although Carson thought he knew her well enough by now to detect a hint of smile. He quirked an eyebrow at her, trying not to smile himself. "It seemed to cause him a lot of pain."

"I see," he said, reaching out to check Sheppard's jaw as the latter continued to glare at his female companion. Feeling along the base of the jaw, he gently applied pressure. "Does this hurt?" he asked. Taking his muffled "Ngh" as a 'no', Carson moved his hands further along. "How about here?"

Receiving another negative, Carson moved his hands further up. He'd barely touched him when Sheppard yelled and shot backwards. "Hey!" he protested, lifting a hand up. "Careful, doc!"

Carson frowned at him, before putting two and two together and smirking. "You've got tooth ache, haven't you," he said flatly, crossing his arms.

"No, I don't… your hands were… cold."

Carson rolled his eyes. "Don't worry, Major, you're not the only one who balks at visiting the dentist," he said, stripping off his gloves and shoving them in the bin. "Most people do."

"So I can just have some painkillers and go?" Sheppard asked hopefully.

Fighting a malicious grin, Carson turned round, looking innocently surprised. "Go?" he repeated. "Of course not, Major – you can go and see our resident dentist, Dr Basal. You might have cracked it. He can prescribe painkillers if it's nothing more serious."

John stared at him, horrified. For a moment he looked as if he'd lost the ability to speak. "There's a dentist here on Atlantis?!"

"Dr Basal – lovely man," Carson confirmed, loosing the battle to keep from grinning. "Nothing to be afraid of. He's down one level from us, I'll just let him know you're coming."

"But why is there a dentist here?!" John repeated, still looking aghast.

"Dentist?" Teyla enquired, looking enquiringly at him.

"They're a specialist sort of doctor," Carson explained to her. "They work with the teeth and the gums, keep them healthy."

"I see."

"And there's one here," he continued, turning to Sheppard, "because who else is going to do all the fillings, fit all the crowns and replace all the teeth that get knocked out? Not bloody me. Teeth give me the heebie-jeebies. Plus, military get full dental coverage and how likely are ye to find a decent dentist in the Pegasus Galaxy?"

Major Sheppard had been getting paler and paler and now leapt off the bed. "Ah, you know what, Carson," he said, inching towards the entrance, "completely out of the blue, I'm suddenly feeling a lot better – don't need to see this Dr Basal after all. Sorry to have bothered you."

He smiled somewhat awkwardly and then walked extremely quickly out of the infirmary.

Carson and Teyla exchanged looks. "I'll go get him," she said, sighing, and ran after her retreating CO.


Twenty minutes later, a sweating Teyla was still trying to push John into the dentists' office. "I do not see what is so terrible about this dentist," she said, curling her tongue around the still strange word.

"That's because you've never had one inflicted on you," John said, trying to use his feet as a brace against his gradual movement towards the Room of Doom. For such a small woman, Teyla could be freakishly strong when she wanted to be. "They stick their hands inside your mouth, drill holes into your teeth, then yank them out…" he shuddered. "I hate them."

"Dr Beckett said that they are merely another sort of Doctor," argued Teyla, confused by her friend's actions. "You do not mind going to the infirmary if you are unwell."

"Dentists," retorted John, "are not doctors. Doctors make people better. Dentists torture you."

"I do not believe Doctor Beckett would have sent us here if that were the case," Teyla pointed out, gently, before giving John one last shove and sending him flying into the Dental Office.


"Hello! You must be Major Sheppard. Pleasure to meet you!"

John blinked as his hand was vigorously shaken by a short, middle aged man wearing blue scrubs and smiling in an almost scarily eager fashion. "Um, yeah, you too," he said, completely taken off guard.

"I'm Dr Basal," he introduced himself, finally letting go off John's hand and turning towards Teyla whom was standing in the door's entrance like some sort of bouncer (only this time she wasn't letting anybody out.) "And this is Suzanna, my nurse," he added, motioning at an equally smurf like woman in her late twenties. She was smiling almost as enthusiastically as the Dr.

"Teyla Emmagan," Teyla said, smiling.

"Oh, yes, lovely to meet you, too." He nodded at her. "We don't meet very many people down here," he said conversationally. "It gets rather boring – there's only so many times you can file when you've had no patients. You're our first one, Major!"

Ignoring John's look of horror, Dr Basal slapped the green chair. "Take a seat, Major."

John hesitated, but a look from Teyla made him slither sulkily into the chair. Almost immediately it began to whir and move, so that he was on his back, staring up at a bright light, and completely disorientated.

"Now then, what seems to be the matter, Major?"

He couldn't tell where the voice was coming from. It was annoying – what kind of a pilot was he that lying down and staring up at a bright light completely disorientated him? "Nothing."

"He injured his jaw whilst we were sparring," Teyla's weary voice came from somewhere near his feet. He squinted down his body to see her moving away from the door towards him. 'At least she didn't tell them I did it myself this time,' he reasoned, grudgingly. 'Although Carson will probably tell McKay and then I'll never hear the end of it…'

"I see. Open up, please, Major."

John complied, wincing as the movement sent a fresh wave of fire through his jaw. But that sensation was soon replaced by the awkward one of rubbery fingers and cold little instruments being shoved into his mouth, which was not much better.

"Hmm… ok, Suzanna, 7, 6, 5 with an MO composite, 4, 3, 2, 1," Dr Basal said nonsensically, systematically tapping each of John's teeth. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 with an D composite with palatal extension, 7, 8."

"I am sorry, but what are you doing?"

The tapping paused, although the fingers were still there. John was suddenly aware of how much he needed to swallow. "We are charting his teeth – noting which ones are there, which ones are not, which ones have fillings, which ones need them…" Dr Basal explained.

"What are fillings?"

"Well, when someone's tooth has decayed the leave a hole or cavity. To prevent the tooth from completely rotting, we fill the hole and seal it with a sterile and water/air tight material."

The fingers were still there, and so was the need to swallow, but now his jaw was beginning to ache from being held open so long. 'Teyla, will you stop asking questions?!'

"I see. Interesting."

"Well, I think so."


"Oh, sorry, Major."

"Yeah, thanks," John said grumpily after finally managing to swallow. "Look, can we just get this done?"

"Certainly, certainly. Now, open up again and I'll have a look at the problem."

Reluctantly John prised open his jaw again and the fingers and instruments were back in. "Yes, I see the problem. It looks like a cracked tooth," Dr Basal said, head appearing in John's vision, the light from behind making him look like some sort of bizarre angel. 'Or an evil torturous devil masquerading as one.'


John yelled out in shock, almost swallowing the probe, as Dr Basal gave it a small tap.

"Did that hurt?"

John stared at him disbelievingly. "Of course it hurt!" he snapped, hand twitching for something to hit the man with. "What did you expect?!"

Oblivious to his violent thoughts, the dentist simply tutted to himself, making John want to hit him even more. Luckily, Teyla was slightly more aware of his frustration and laid a calming hand on his shoulder. He smiled up at her, before realising that she was the reason he'd been dragged here in the first place.

"It'll have to come out, I'm afraid," Dr Basal said. "From what I can tell, the crack looks deep. We'll take an X-Ray first to be sure, though. Suzanna." He nodded at her and she got up and began ushering Teyla to the door.

"We're just going to take an X-ray of his tooth," she explained, when Teyla asked her what they were doing. "We need to stand outside for this part – x-rays are dangerous for prolonged exposure."

Then she'd disappeared out of sight and he was suddenly having this huge, plastic yellow circle inserted into his cheek. It kept bumping into his broken tooth and John clenched at the arms of the chair. "I know it's a bit of a squeeze, but if you could just open a little wider…"

Laying there, staring up at that little bright light, John reflected that this was probably the worst day of his life: worse than being stranded in Iraq(?), worse than being stranded in another galaxy surrounded by cannibilstic-ish monster aliens, worse than even that bug thing that had attached itself to him…

He really hated the dentist.


It was official. The tooth was coming out. "Although we're not going to leave you with just some massive hole, Major, don't worry," Dr Basal said cheerfully to an appalled John. "We'll prep you for a bridge first, take the tooth out, and then give you a temp until the final one is ready."

"You know what, doc, I'm pretty sure it'll be just fine in there," John said, standing up, but he hadn't even fully straightened out when Teyla shoved him back into the seat.

"John," she said, warningly, and then tapped him on the face.

"Hey!" John growled, as lights danced across his vision at the sudden influx of pain. "Teyla…"

"If you are in that much pain from a simple tap, you will only put yourself and us in danger on our missions," she said, calmly interrupting, although she did look a little apologetic. "I'm sorry, John, but you need to do this." She took a deep breath. "I'll be here the whole time."

John looked at her, pain and anger forgotten. She returned his gaze steadily and inwardly he cursed her for always being right. He did have to do this… there was no way his tooth was going to fix itself and he'd be unable to fulfil his duties as long as it was broken.

But he really, really did hate the dentist.

"You won't leave?" he asked, before he could stop himself.

She smiled at him. "I'll be right here," she repeated, touching his arm.

"Excellent, excellent," Basal cried, forgotten until now, needle dripping anaesthetic already in hand. "Now, open wide."

Ignoring the queasiness in his stomach, John opened up and tried not to grimace when the nasty tasting drug dropped onto his tongue. Then there was a sharp pain as the needle sunk in and he instinctively shot out his hand and grabbed Teyla's, concentrating on the warmth and feel of it.

She squeezed back, reassuringly, but did not let go. Neither did he.

The next 40 minutes or so were a whirlwind of pain, blood, creaking jaws, funny tasting moulds, the sound of drills and full mouths, but John weathered it all, concentrating on that one constant, the feel of Teyla's hand in his. Every now and then she would give it a squeeze (or he would, when the pressure on his tooth got too much, or he accidentally swallowed a bit of rubbery impression material) until, eventually, he was through the ordeal.

"There you go, Major," Dr Basal said, slapping him on the back and grinning. "All done now. Suzanna – who's a qualified lab tech, I'll have you know – will be making your crown over the next couple of days, so if you come and see me then?"

John flapped a hand at him. "Yeah, whatever, doc," he said, getting to his feet and handing back the plastic blue bib they'd made him wear. "I'm all done?"

"Erm, yes, I suppose," Dr Basal said, sadly, before looking at the two of them hopefully. "Unless there's any other problems you'd like sorted? Or maybe cosmetic issues? We can give you full veneers, you know – give you a brand new smile!"

"No," John said, flatly, unable to feel sorry for the man, who was obviously bored, because he had put him through a torturous hell the last hour.

"Or you, Miss Emmagan?" Basal added, still hopeful. "I understand that your people have no kind of dental treatment at all – you need a full check up and x-rays and probably load of fillings –"

"Perhaps some other time," Teyla negated, a false smile on her lips and faint horror in her eyes. She reached out and grabbed John, who was a bit wobbly on his feet, and added, "I must get Major Sheppard back to his quarters safely."

"Oh, yes, of course." Dr Basal visibly deflated. "Oh well, see you in two days, Major!"

"Yeah, whatever," John said, feeling a bit groggy. As they shuffled along the corridor, John looked down at Teyla. "So, still feel that dentists are kindly doctors who only want to do the best for you?"

She looked at him. "Do not worry, Major, your fear was completely justified." She shook her head disbelievingly. "I do not understand how humans on your world can treat each other like that." She shifted her arm, looking back furtively.

"Well, every world and culture has it's downsides: it's hidden demons, it's dark side," John mused. "Yours is the impending doom of the Wraith culling: ours is drugs, clowns, Spam and dentists." She looked at him again, unsure whether he was being serious or not, and he was suddenly aware of how her arm was still around him. "Erm, Teyla, you can let go now, you know – I don't actually need help walking."

"I know, Major, but I am worried Dr Basal is following us," she whispered, glancing behind them again.

"Why would he follow us?" John asked, bewildered, although he didn't mind her arm still around him.

"Major, it has become clear to me during your… appointment, that dentists, above all, seek to cause pain in others and I am concerned, with my planets' lack of dental schemes, that I am to be his next victim."

John stopped walking and stared at her. "Say that again?"

"Dr Basal talked quite a – "

"Hello, Major, are you – oof!"

Walking round the corner, apparently on his way to see how John was faring, Carson didn't notice Teyla until it was too late and they were both down on the floor in a jumble of limbs and clothes. John sprang forward to pull Teyla out of the mess.

"Ow!" Carson rolled over and managed to sit up, whilst John pulled Teyla to her feet, who was looking a bit mussed.

"You ok?" he asked, as she dusted herself off.

"I am fine," she assured him.

"Well, I'm bloody not!" Carson moaned, still on the floor. "Sorry, Teyla, but I didn't see ye and – oh, no, I think I broke my bloody tooth."

Dr. Basal's head suddenly appeared around the entrance to the dental office. "What was that? Did someone say they broke their tooth?" he asked, almost gleefully.

"Ah, crap, RUN!" John yelled and, forgetting any pretence, both he and Teyla sprinted away from the corridor as fast as they could go, leaving Beckett to fend for himself. His cry followed them down the halls.

"What? No, come back! Don't leave me alone!"

"Sorry, Beckett!" John yelled back, but on his face was a manic grin and he felt as though he'd gotten some payback. After all, Beckett was the one who'd sent him down to that hell hole in the first place… let's see how he'd cope being put through dental torture!

"Well, it appears that I do not have to worry," Teyla panted at him as they twisted round a bend.

John looked at her questionly.

She smirked. "Dr. Basal has found another victim to torture for the time being."


"Poor Dr. Beckett," Teyla said that evening, as she slid into the seat opposite him at dinner. "Apparently he had chipped a tooth and broken another so he had to go through even more work than you did."

John just smiled gleefully. "And he didn't have a Teyla to hold his hand," he pointed out, grinning at her.

"Yes, well, I do not believe that I could go through that again, anyway," Teyla confessed, shuddering. "It looked most horrendous."

"Well, imagine what it felt like," John murmured, jaw giving off a faint echo of pain, before realisation hit him. "Hang on, does this mean you won't come with me for the fit?"

Teyla looked at him for a while, dark eyes giving nothing away. "Well, for you, Major Sheppard, I shall," she said eventually, smiling at him. "It is, after all, I who insisted that you see him, so it is only right." There was a small pause, before Teyla's grin turned mischievious. "And when Dr Basal is done, perhaps I can… accidentally knock one of his teeth out."


Ok, I can honestly say that this is the weirdest fic I have ever written. I'm not quite sure about it, but I'm going to post it anyway. I'll probably read it through tomorrow and be like wtf but I stayed up until half 12 to finish this and it's the first SGA fic I've ever managed to written (or get an idea for), so, whatever. I'll probably change it over the weekend (or, like, never, because I'm such a terrible updater) and make it better.

Just to reiterate, though, don't be scared of your dentist! I just maximised all the little things that go in a dentists chair and then played on what people usually perceive dentists to be. Modern dentistry is really very clean and safe and mostly pain free (although anaesthetic really is most gross tasting!)

Love, Hannanora Potter ~x~x~x~