I'm baaaaaaaaaaacccccccccckkkkkkkkkk!

HAHA finally!!! All of the excuses I name before are done and fixed and I'M BACK BAYBAY!! Miss me??

Lol idk how you'll like this; I'm doing bio homework so I'm tossed backand forth from the story to that! If you see a biology definitions on here, I'm deeply sorry if this happens...

Oh! And.....YAY!!!!!! MORE THAN 100 REVIEWS!!!!!! I'm...so...touched...

ONWARD TO AWESOMENESS!!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Cullen guys or gals (sigh...T-T), Panic Switch by Silversun Pickups, Dollar General, US magazine.....you know!!!!! I just don't anything but the crap I write ok?!?!?!?!?!?? sadness......


Alice's POV

The girl's moment of shock reverberated throughout the clearing. Bella was in silent shock as her grip held strong on my sweater (which she was ruining by the way!). You would think by now I would be cowering in Bella's grip and awaiting my sure death, but I was too busy for that.

Plus, personally, Bella not that scary. Ok, maybe I'm bluffing. Maybe.

No, I was in the future — as I do — and my entire body rumbled like an earthquake with unheard laughter.

In my vision, I saw my perfectly foolish brother as he cursed loudly at Nessie's mess.

"Holy mother of God!" he exclaimed, "S&!%" All he could do in this impossible moment was stare…there was nothing anyone could do…

At times—preferably now (since I'm in Bella's man grip) —I feel sort of bad that I'm doing this, like there really no reason to make them suffer like this. These types of visions surely jog my memory! Plus the fact that dog bastard ruined my hair and made me the butt of all Emmett's jokes for TWO WEEKS and only got one ass whipping before Jazz told me I might kill him! I still don't see the problem if that was the outcome…

I was near smiling now when I remember the face of the enraged vampire in front of me, her face a blank slate yet again; the girls waited for Bella's reaction to my Massachusetts news — or my death, whichever came first. My eyes glazed over as I saw her decision in my mind. My skin felt colder….which is quite impossible might I add.

"Ok, Ok, I don't know really where we are…" Oh crap. Part of me told the other part of me the truth was not a good thing blurt out right now. That and Bella's enraged demon face starting up again…

I closed my eyes and waited for my end…well my final end. But wait…has God decided to love me again?!?

I slumped from Bella's limp hands and onto the soft snowy ground again. I darted from her and stood at the beaten tree, now on high alert for those god-forsaken quick clutches of hers.

Bella slowly pinched the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger (must I add that she look exactly like Edward?! Ha!) and with clinched teeth asked me, "Then where are we, Alice?"

Somewhere between Bella screeching in my face and my life flashing before me I must have had an epiphany (or I became smart again…) because this time, I said nothing. My eyes bored into her coal black ones as I mentally refused to tell her. Good thing, Rosalie finally found her voice...

"Bella, maybe you shouldn't freak out like—"

"Freak out?" Bella squeaked, "Who's freaking out because I'm soooonotfreakingoutbeacausewhywouldIneedtofreakoutwhenI'msoooonotintheneedingtofreakoutmodewhosaidI'mfreakingout?!?!?!?!"

"—that." Rose finished. "Can we all just think of a rational and calm solution to this problem that we have?"

"The problem is that no one seems to see the obvious reason and brilliance of my plan…"

Bella's feral snarl stopped my irritated grumblings fast. Rose opened her mouth to calm her when the faintest bush rustling stopped her too. It started as an inaudible clatter—I doubt if a human was here, they could hear it—and it grew louder and louder and louder until the slight noise became a deafening clamor that stopped the unnecessary breaths in our throats. But the noise was not the only thing that put us on alarm. No, something followed that noise, growing stronger and deeper and the din increased…

It was the smell of a human.

Bella backed away as the bushes in front of us shifted and trembled; Esme slowly formed a sort of barrier between the oncoming human and our sorta new vampire. I didn't need to wonder why at all: Bella may be an excellent newborn, but she wasn't perfect. Plus her eyes were still a muddy mixture of red and gold; they still couldn't quite pass off as a possible eye color for a human.

The vegetation all our eyes were glued finally separated, revealing a short (well, not compared to me but still…) human girl. Her eyes instantly found us and, for a span of minutes that felt like years, bored into ours with silent observation. Finally her lips moved.

"Uhh, are you lost?"

Edward's POV

I probably drove slower than I ever have in my vampire life — excluding the times I drove Bella's now 'deceased' truck — and for the first time, my nerves weren't up because of it. So then why were my teeth clenched and my hands gripping the steering wheel with enough power to break a human's bones, you might ask? Emmett sat in the passenger seat— yes, now you understand — keeping watch for any signs of a general store in Port Angeles while driving me mad with his new favorite song, Panic Switch by the Silversun Pickups. By the time we arrived to the mildly bustling city, the infuriating song had already played 10 times on full blast.

If I ever meet these Silversun Pickups, I would probably wring their necks for creating this object of my suffering.

"When you see yourself in a crowded roo—hey! I see one!!!"

Without a single thought, I swerved into the parking lot of the small general store at full speed and the second my Volvo was parked, I switched the car off. Of course, that caused a disappointed whine from Emmett.

"Aww, it was at my favorite parrrrt!" Emmett groaned.

"Emmett, you heard your part 10 goddamn times. I think you can play it in your head—" I hesitated, thinking of the torture it might bring me, "I think you waited, faded and floated away quite enough today. You'll be fine."

"But one more time can't hurt! Besides, I'd rather wait, fade and float away with Brian Aubert…he's not right in my head…" Emmett pouted, knocking his skull pretty hard with his fist like he was knocking a door.

"Don't worry Emmett, nothing's right in your head." I replied in soothing voice. I slipped out the car as Emmett finally understood and drawled a sarcastic "Oh, ha ha." and observed our destination.

It was a small building; a simple square structure made of discolored tan bricks. A large tarnished yellow sign bordered with a red lining that read Dollar General took up most of the top of the store's roof. It surely wasn't looker, that much can be told, but we weren't for its appearance so I suppose this would do.

"I wonder what Dollar Generalmeans?" Emmett muttered.

"Who cares? As long as there are……those things." I mumbled darkly.

There was a brief silence as we began walking, but as always it didn't last long.

"Why can't you say tampons? Or pads?"

"Why must it matter? You know what I'm talking about."

"But it's morally correct to face your fears and call your monsters by name."

I stopped in my tracks and turned to Emmett. We had just stepped into the Dollar General and an odd mixture of bleach, cheap window cleaner, doll plastic, and — of course — humans created a peculiar odor that struck my nose like a fist. "Morally correct? Face my fears? My monsters?"

"Well!" gasped Emmett appalled, "If there's no problem, then say it!"

I bored into Emmett's eyes for a few seconds then sighed. "Shut up, Emmett."

I stepped to the only open counter that was open, a tan girl of about 16 years of age with thick black hair and brown highlights that was tied in a messy ponytail manned the station. She was buried in the latest edition of Us Weekly and, from the sound of her mind, was more interested in the newest Brittany scandal than then being on her post. I softly cleared my throat—just loud enough for a disinterested human to hear—and she casually glanced up at me. Obviously the sight of Emmett and I caused her to do the usual double take and slight jaw drop; the gossip magazine slowly slipped from her fingertips and her stature immediately straightened, but the dazed stare never passed from her features.

"Uhh, ca-can I-I h-help you-you, s-s-sirs?" She stammered.

I glanced at the nametag over her chest that read Kimani. "Yes Kimani," she seemed shocked that I knew her name, and then she remembered her nametag. "I was wondering where you can find your…err…lady sanitary items?" My voice was softer and smoother than usual as I tried to be polite.

Her face contorted in a look of pure, dazed confusion. Ok. This really hot guy is talking to me…but what the hell is he talking about? I sighed as she began to stammer; I suppose I do have a problem with the word…

"What my friend means is do you have any tampons here? Or pads—it doesn't matter." His words were like honey, a seductive chuckle slipping through the sly smile caressing his face. I concealed the urge to chuckle at his obvious flirtation; I had to admit, Emmett was an excellent flirt, but the topic on his lips was not as alluring as the low voice seducing.

Nevertheless, it did the trick. Although her brain practically exploded by then, she was barely able to utter her reply. "Are th-they for you, sir?" she whispered, gazing into Emmett's eyes with intense, wide ones.

The small group was dead silent. Kimani flushed to a deep burgundy and began rambling some bizarre form of an apology as every word brought her cheeks to a deeper shade. Emmett was baffled; should he be insulted or laugh that bothersome laugh that makes Emmett Emmett? After almost a minute of poor Kimani's humiliation, I decided to put order in this fiasco of confusion.

"Uhh, can you just show us the tampons?"

"Yes! Yes, sir!" She loped around the counter as fast as one of us vampires and set off just as swift.

As we weaved through the simple maze of aisles I began to realize how rundown this Dollar General was.

I finally understood how Dollar General gets his name…and why the items here were a mere dollar. I could not find one thing in those shabby aisles that would last for an entire month; the clothes were apathetic sham made with a poor excuse for cloth and most of the toys were riddled with holes and tears that were visible even to the human eye. Toxic fluids leaked from secret punctures in the containers within the cleaning department and toilet tissue packs were half open in the bathroom aisle. The store in itself was in poor condition as well: wet spots in the ceiling were in different varieties of brown and bright yellow stained signs were strewn lazily on curiously colored tarnishes on the floor.

What was Emmett thinking?

I shot a sharp glare at him and he chuckled feebly. "Come on, how was I to know!" was his whispered reply.

The people shopping here weren't better. The most unusual of the human population seemed to be congregated here; bums with eccentric beards, crackheads or perhaps people who admire the style, the large and chiefly hairy women, rednecks and possibly KKK members, large ladies from the 'hood'…you name it. For what was in their mind, I refuse to dwell on the sick and scarring things in there.

The only people who appeared to be normal were the innocent mothers hunting for discounts and the poor teenagers who were dragged with them. Some of the children didn't care about being there; they were enjoying the majority of the fellow shoppers too greatly or they're mental iPods were blaring at the maximum to tune out their parental's financial mutters. Still others were pleading to leave — these teens were no doubt the smartest — and were offering a rather convincing speech of how they should leave now.

"U-uhh here it's i-is."

Kimani's hand was extended to miniature shelf of…lady personal items. It was quite pitiful really; they were in small, feeble plastic bags or tiny cardboard boxes that—like everything in this store—had at least one split through it. I heard the barely audible chuckle as Emmett struggled to seize it.

So this is your result to your big mission, military man?

With vampire speed, I thumped the curly head of my favorite brother with all the strength my fingers could obtain. His hands flew to his head and burned me with a glare.

Oh if there wasn't a human here…

Speaking of our human, she was now staring at Emmett as if he might be one of the mental people shopping here. "Yeahhh…My name's Kimani and I'm at that counter if you need anymore help, boys." And with that, our pink-cheeked aid scuffled back as quickly as she came— head down, of course.

I followed her with my eyes momentarily; I always secretly enjoyed when girls were intimidated rather than thinking they have any chance of enticing us. I saw them as the few young women who actually have a sense of reality. That and it kept them out of harm's way from us…

A tall skinny girl walked into my vacant gaze and my eyes unintentionally met with her blue ones. A fire of blood flooded her cheeks and with a swift movement, she snatched a bag of tampons and sprinted to the nearest cash register. Ugh, according to her mind, she was surely going to notify her friends about this.

As I turned back to the aisle of womanwear, I saw my favorite brother had been searching as I went through my brief reverie. Well, if staring at the boxes with a look and clear thoughts of confusion is searching…

"Were not really buying this for Nessie, are we? I think if we truly love her, we won't let her get herpes this way."

"She won't get herpes, Emmett." I sighed. Personally, I wasn't that sure about that statement… but pads or tampons can't do that…or can they?

"Edward, logic please: anything that originally three dollars in other stores but is a dollar here isn't really something you want going in that area! And you're supposed to be a good father; do you even love her—"

A fat pasty hand snatched a box, snapping Emmett's rant short. A short soccer mom with the face of a pug glared at us with cold eyes. It was exceedingly hard not to roll my eyes at the thoughts rumbling in her mind……

Bratty pretty boys have such the nerve! Now the new turn-on is tampons and pads…they make me sick…

A gagged on a laugh but swallowed it with a sigh. "Does that mean you want to search somewhere else?"

"Nah! That means I want to buy this for Nessie and let her get tampon herpes!" he sarcastically replied, "Let's go, man." He tried to drag me from the aisle but I snatched away.

"There is nothing wrong with these tampons!" I shouted with vehemence.

Wrong idea.

Every eye turned to me and Emmett, staring in silence with only a few snickers echoing. I even saw little Kimani staring, the same magazine that fell at our appearance slipped from her fingers once more. But it was not the silence that compelled me to my next words; it was the appalled, taunting, and accusing thoughts that made the silence more like a crowded party…

"Yeah, let's go." I said flatly.

We sauntered to the door as the entire store gazed quietly still, Emmett pausing only to smile and say in a poor imitation of an old-timely English man, "Goodbye, Kimani. Thank you for the superb help."

Outside, his mirth that was held for so long boomed into the Port Angeles air. His arm plopped lazily on my shoulder and after a sigh of happiness, he asked, "So bro, where doth our adventures lead us to, nowth?"

"I have no idea…but we can never go there again."

"Oh well… well at least we'll be waiting, fading and floating away when we try to figure out!!!!" He barked a loud 'Woot!' and I chuckled darkly.

"Emmett?" I muttered as we opened the car door and settled in.

"Yeah?"

I turned the car on slowly, savoring his confusion as Debussy blared through the speakers. I back out and a loud 'Pop, POP' pierced our ears for the back tires. I allowed him time to process the event that unfolded while I rode out the small driveway and as I entered the highway, his eyes grew wide and he began sputtering incoherent sentences.

"DUDE!!!!" He bellowed, but my laugh and the peaceful piano ballad clouded it nicely, as well as the profanities following it.

Maybe I'll spare the Silversun Pickups after all.


Lol freaking love that song...listen to the song to get those jokes! People who know it was probably laughing real hard.

Ok. Before you hit the flames, lemme tell you straight. I HATE DOLLAR GENERAL, NOT PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE OR PEOPLE WHO SHOP THERE! That literally is how the Dollar General near my house looks like! No joke! It was merely my personal opinion and experiences and those teenager are practically lil me's ^-^ haha and at my Dollar General the people really look like that! No freaking joke. I'm always scared when my mom stops there for cheap cards.

Now if you see, I did put some requested people in here and when you have actors and actresses in plays there are always.....CREDITS!!!!!!!

Here they be lol!

Mystery Girl (Alice POV): afo (now beadrobot778)
Kimani: indiechica95 (now VintageConspiracy)
Embarrassed Blonde: Beckah-lynn

More people will be in later chapies! Review to fill the time!!!!