Disclaimer: If I owned South Park, I wouldn't have to add this stupid thing.
Authors Note/Warnings: Okay, I'll start off by saying this is NOT supposed to be perverted. It's another one of my attempts at a comedy XP
Grew out of a dream I had a few nights ago. Added a little fluff and poof! Instant prepubescent hilarity.
The boys are nine. Warnings? You'll see.
"Ah-haha! St-stop it, Kyle, give it back!!"
Kyle held the stuffed toy up above his friends head, tickling Stan mercilessly with his free hand. "Not until you admit I'm better than you at Halo!" he taunted, tumbling backwards onto the carpet as his companion gave another attempted grab. Green eyes wide, he could only watch as Stan took full advantage of his new position, snatching the prized possession from his clenched hand.
"Haha!" Stan grinned victoriously, blue eyes lidded as he collapsed onto the rug as well. He panted, smiling over at his still chuckling friend. "Eh, y-you know what, Ky?" Said redhead looked up in confusion, suspicion immediately apparent on his flushed face.
Stan smirked, raising an eyebrow. "I'm still better than you."
"No you're not!" With a final, exhausted leap, Kyle landed once again on top of the brunette, coughing and sputtering with laughter as he gave a second snatch at the toy. Suddenly finding himself pinned below his slightly stronger schoolmate, the redhead stuck his tongue out defiantly, still holding the object far out of reach as Stan begun to wiggle his fingers over his midsection.
Cheeks red, Kyle burst out into peals of uncontrollable laughter, trembling helplessly under the taunting hands.
"Gah!! St-stop Stan! A-HAHAH!"
Stan immediately stole the toy for himself, pinning Kyle down with one hand as he continued his assault with the other. "Say it!" he insisted, chuckling triumphantly, knee pressed to his buddy's lower abdomen. "C'mon, Ky!"
"A-Ahh! Fine! Ah-You're b-better than me at-WHA?!"
A warm streak of heat shooting through his lower tummy, Kyle looked down in shock and quickly wrestled himself out of the grip, rolling to the side and propping himself up against the nearby staircase.
"H-huh?" Panting with exhaustion, the Jew stared at the area between his legs, appropriately confounded. He cocked an eyebrow, watching his best friend crawl over and tumble down beside him.
"Dude, y-you so got it," Stan choked out, stomach still shaking with giggles. Seemingly having noticed his friend's silence, the victor of their tickle fight looked down in confusion, head cocked to the side. "What's wrong?"
Kyle bit his lip, eyes still affixed upon the unexplained phenomenon. "I-I dunno." He gave his nether regions a soft poke, gasping at the odd sensation that rocketed through his gut."It's all…pointy."
Equally perplexed, the raven-haired boy shifted closer, eyes wide in curiosity. "Your wiener is pointy?" he asked in complete cluelessness, brow furrowed. "Are you sure, dude? Or did you just stick a crayon in your pants or something?"
"I'm sure!" The Jew reached out once again to touch his covered length, body jolting as if electrocuted when he slid a curious finger over the tip. Releasing a shaky 'H-huh?', he slowly raised the waistband of his pants, peering at the small tent in his boxers with intense concentration. "Whoa," Kyle breathed, looking back at his companion. "Wh-why's it like that?"
Stan shrugged, blue eyes focused in on the enigma. "I dunno," he echoed, extending a hand in an attempt to touch the unexplained development. However, Kyle gave a defiant squeak and rolled to the side, cupping his genitals as if they were made of gold.
"Don't touch it!" He yelled back, face a picture of both fear and palpable befuddlement. Sighing, he cast another puzzled glance downwards, lip bit. "It…feels all weird."
Always persistent, Stan crawled forward a second time, interest increased tenfold. "Feels weird?" he inquired. "Like what? Does it hurt? Did you break it or something?"
"I-I hope not." Shivering, Kyle slid his pants down to his ankles, observing the confounding protrusion. "It doesn't really hurt. It just like…shocks me when I touch it."
Stan reached out, prodding the shaft in question before Kyle could stop him. "Shocks you?"
"Ahh!" Yipping, the redhead reached out towards the couch and clamped a pillow down over his midsection, face suddenly decorated by a streak of pink. He sighed. Of all the things that had happened during his short life, this was both one of the most interesting and most disturbing.
Far too intrigued to deny his curiosity any longer, Kyle kicked off his jeans and slowly took his boxer shorts a few inches down, watching with wide eyes as the source of his confusion was revealed to the open air.
"Dude," he breathed out in surprise, far too mystified to mind the fact that his best friend was watching as well. More frightened than anything, he gave Stan a frantic look, viridian eyes gleaming with concern.
"Wh-what do you think's wrong with me?" Fingers working nervously with the hem of his shirt, Kyle gave a quick glance into the kitchen, idly wondering what exactly was plaguing him.
Stan got to his knees, beginning to look concerned. "Should I go get some ice or something?" At the redhead's nod, he stood up quickly and ran into the other room, leaving Kyle alone with his predicament. Rustling sounds were heard from the kitchen.
"We don't have any ice packs!" the dark-haired boy called back, voice echoing into the living room. "Is a bag of frozen stuff okay?"
Kyle shrugged to himself, gripping his small length and wincing noticeably at the odd tremors that ran down his spine. "I guess so," he replied with a slight squeak, watching Stan dart back in. A crinkled bag of frozen peas was tossed into his lap.
Sighing at the cool tingling, the Jew bit his lip and stumbled up, holding the bag tight against his loins. "O-okay, I think it's okay now," he panted, relaxing a little in relief as he gave Stan a grateful smile. "That was weird. Wanna go play Xbox or something?"
Startled, Stan and his companion both looked towards the kitchen doorway, glancing at a newly-arrived Randy Marsh.
"Stanley, your mother and I were about to go and pick up something for you boys to eat," he stared at his son, eyes widening as they fell upon Kyle. "Um…what are you doing with the peas?"
"Oh," Stan looked up in curiosity. "I was tickling Kyle and his wiener got all hard."
Silence filled the room. Seemingly lost as to how to react to this particular statement, Randy simply eyed the boys with obvious suspicion, raising an eyebrow.
Kyle nudged his friend, bored. "Come on, dude, I brought Halo 3 with me!"
Not needing to be told twice, Stan ran quickly up the staircase and out of sight, Kyle clasping the frosty plastic against his groin as he followed suit.
Watching both boys dart away from view, Randy walked back off to wherever he had come from, shaking his head as if to clear it.
The document above does not contain any profane terms. -feels proud- X3 Wrote something un-slashy for once in my life, eh?