But you've already lost ...
But you've already lost ...
But you've already lost ...
When you only had barely enough to hang on

X

Ginny awoke the next morning to the sound of running water. Neither Blaise nor Draco was to be seen but, based on the sounds coming from the bathroom that was not the water, she assumed they were close. She was in an awkward position. Should she just wait for them to come out? Should she join them? Should she even be here still at all? In her confused mind, still weak and groggy from the night's arduous work out and then deep sleep, she could not decide if she should be in this room with those two men at all.

Anxious, Ginny sat up, clutching the blankets under her arms to protect her modesty from . . . well, really it was just cold. She had a headache. Not just a minor throbbing but a hard, steady pulse that she could feel to her very tip toes. She sighed, closed her eyes and leaned her forehead into her palm. At least there were no windows letting in obnoxious sunlight. She didn't think she could handle that at the moment.

In the bathroom, the water cut off but she could still hear the sounds of lovemaking. She felt a small twinge of longing, wanting to be a part of that lovemaking again but she quickly shooed the thought out of her head. This was ridiculous. She should not be here. Not in the middle of the day where anyone could discover this absurd affair. Her brain protested these claims with the memories they had shown her the previous night along with her newly painted memories of their extraordinary passion they had together.

She shook her head; this was not the time to be worrying about whether or not to pursue this crazy relationship they proposed. Right now, regardless of her desire to allow the dalliance, she should not be caught in the middle of the affair: she needed to leave. In a quick flourish of movements, Ginny got dressed and collected her things. At the doorway, she paused to cast one glance in the direction of the bathroom just as one of them began to open the door. She closed the door quietly and fled before they could see which direction she had run.

-

When she felt as though there were no way the duo could possibly know where she was, Ginny looked around her. She surmised by the small trickle of students and the faint yellow tinge of the walls that it was roughly seven o'clock and that she might still catch her friends in the common room if she hurried. As she walked towards the Gryffindor tower, she began to assess the situation.

In one hand, she was sleeping with two Slytherins. Two death eaters and therefore, two enemies to everything her family and loved ones stood for.

On the other hand, they claimed that they had been together for hundreds of years.

If she saw the two compared in writing, she was sure she would realize how completely comical it was that she was in any dilemma over the situation at all. It should be an easy choice. But then she had to take into account all the odd things she had seen even before she agreed to meet with the boys and the headaches and that odd burning hunger. Not to mention the added symptoms that plagued her whenever she was away from them. That, in itself had to make a valid point in favor of continuing whatever this was that she was doing. But, like the thousands of times it had already happened, as soon as she argued this, her mind immediately argued that the physical symptoms could have easily been their doing as well.

But why would they want to do that to her?

They wouldn't.

The thought rang as clearly across her mind as a bell would have signaled the end of a class. And it was the certainty of this last thought that made it all so confusing. But for this one thought, she would give up her romance with the two and be done with such a taboo relationship. But there was something in her that felt as though they just, well, wouldn't.

She sighed in frustration, back at square one and found herself at the Gryffindor tower. Before she could make it in, however, she was accosted by Parvati.

"Ginny!" Parvati exclaimed, stepping out of the portrait-hidden entrance.

Ginny smiled wryly. "Parvati," she greeted.

"Where have you been? We've been wondering where you've been and Seamus keeps asking for you and ... are you alright? You look pale."

"I slept in the room of requirements," Ginny lied, putting her fingers to her temples. "I've got a headache. What's wrong with Seamus?"

Parvati studied her best friend for a moment before answering, turning to go back inside the tower with Ginny.

"He's worried about you. You haven't been to three of your classes these past couple of days. You haven't eaten with us much, you've talked to us less ... Seamus thinks you're cheating on him."

"Cheating!" Ginny exhaled in disbelief. Now she had to add that to her list of Reasons Not to Shag the Beautiful Men She Kept Seeing in Her Dreams. She had forgotten that Seamus had asked her to be his girlfriend. She had forgotten that she had seemingly accepted. She had not stopped to think of the obligations this role would assume of her.

Parvati rose an eyebrow. "Was that an exclamation in disbelief or did you realize you are cheating?"

Parvati really could be so damn perceptive. But alas, she would have to settle with a lie for an answer.

"Disbelief, Parvati, I mean ... really? Cheating?" She breathed in a believable denial.

Parvati shrugged. "Don't shoot the messenger. So if that's not it then what is it?"

"What is what?"

Parvati only looked at her, waiting for a real reply.

Ginny pursed her lips. "I don't know," she finally replied. "Honestly, Parvati, I think I'm going crazy."

Parvati blinked; Ginny often exaggerated. "Well, if there's anything I can do, you know all you have to do is ask," Parvati offered helpfully.

Ginny smiled but she didn't think there was anything anyone could do at this point. She just needed a shower and some breakfast, she would think about this later.

"Oh, and Gin?" Parvati called as Ginny headed up to her dorm.

"Yeah?"

"Talk to Seamus. The poor boy is going nuts."

Ginny nodded and turned to go upstairs.

-

Ginny's talk with Seamus had been less than entertaining.

"I'm just worried about you!" he had said.

To which Ginny had replied that, though sweet, his worries were misplaced. The conversation had ended with Seamus expressing his hope that she would at least let him know what was going on before she disappeared for nights or hours. Ginny had conceded, hoping that this would make it harder for herself to see Draco or Blaise - she didn't think she could handle that. Seamus was happy and she had discovered a way to keep herself occupied.

And for some reason, the headache had slowed to a dull ache in the back of her head. This had to be some sort of progress.

She now sat at the Gryffindor table for breakfast amidst all of her friends. She was doing her damndest at having amiable conversation and making a solid effort in being a real girlfriend to Seamus, she almost forgot about the past few nights.

Almost.

With the owls, Ginny received a letter. The only thing marring the envelope was her first name, written elegantly in script. She instinctively knew it was them and looked up at the Slytherin table without thinking. She found the couple instantly; platinum blonde against jet black sitting together in the middle of a group of adoring Slytherins listening closely as her men told a story of something. She couldn't help but smile as she saw how easily the two laughed together, how perfect were their motions that attracted the adoration of their peers.

"Hello? Earth to Ginny," Neville sang out, snapping his fingers in front of her face.

Ginny blinked and shot Neville a glare. "What have I told you about snapping in my face?" she asked crossly before looking at the letter she held in her hands.

"Well you were looking at that lot over there so intensely I wondered if you were still on the Planet of the Living. What were you watching?" Neville asked.

Ginny could feel the prying stare of Seamus and so just shrugged. "I was wondering what Malfoy and Zabini are telling that has the rapt attention of their entire house."

Dean scoffed. "As if it's actually interesting? Please."

As the conversation decidedly shifted into a pleasant Slytherin bashing, Ginny redirected her focus to the letter in her hands.

Ginevra,

We were most dejected that you chose to leave without saying goodbye. We hope we have done nothing to offend you and we wish to send our invitation to join us tonight in the Head Boy's room.

-B.Z.

P.S. I know you want to come, kitten, so there's no use fighting it.

-D.M.

Ginny put down the letter in shock. How dare he assume as much? Just because she allowed herself to be swept away the last few days did not mean that she could be summoned upon request like some common whore. She balked at their familiarity and promised herself she would not go. No, she would make sure she could not go. She would be with Seamus tonight.

Classes went by painfully slow. And her chatting with Parvati had earned them both an extra inch on an essay issued by Slughorn. By dinner, she was anxious and pissed.

"I mean, it's not as if he were talking! We were only talking while we worked on our potion!" Parvati complained to Neville and Lavender as the four made their way to the Great Hall for supper.

Ginny had excluded herself from the conversation, mentally preparing herself for the battle she knew would be ensuing over dinner.

As long as you don't look at them you'll be fine. Ginny told herself in a pre-dinner pep talk. She did not want to succumb to their summons but she knew she was in danger of being wooed. Just talk to your friends, flirt with your boyfriend for Christ's sake. Just don't look at them.

But as soon as she sat, she scanned the hall for them. She justified this by telling herself that she wanted to know their position so she could avoid them. However, as fate would have it, as she scanned the hall looking for them, they were also looking for her and they met eyes as soon as she sat at her table.

She could not force herself to withdraw her gaze from the fierce stare of grey and black eyes. Blaise was questioning but not expecting. Draco's eyes were full of something darker, a question, perhaps. He rose an eyebrow as if inviting her to do something. Ginny blushed and was able to look away.

"What was that all about?" Parvati asked, looking back and forth from Ginny to the Slytherin table where the same boys were now involved in conversations with their housemates.

"Nothing," Ginny mumbled, ignoring the bemused look on Parvati's plate in lieu of the mashed potatoes.

-

There had never been a more strenuous Quidditch practice than the one Ginny had just endured. Not that she had any protests; for the first time in a while, Ginny finally forgot about everything and let her mind go blank. In the thrill of speeding around at dangerous heights dodging heavy balls and passing the quaffle, Ginny finally managed to put everything aside.

But now that her feet were planted firmly on the ground and she stood quite still, her stress came flooding back to her. She was no closer to a decision than she had been six hours ago and now she had little over an hour to decide if she would go or not. In the moments it took to walk to the Gryffindor tower, Ginny decided that she would most certainly not answer the arrogant assholes and would, instead, spend time with Seamus.

Spending time with Seamus ended shortly though after a quick perusal in the room of requirements, after which he fell asleep leaving Ginny unsatisfied with a raging headache and raging hormones and a raging burn in her lower regions.

She sighed. She hated that she was about to do this but she was really left with no options. She knew that they would be the only ones who could help her. And that is why Ginevra Weasley was once again to be found out after curfew sneaking into the private head boy's room into the arms of two very happy Slytherins.

-

I know its short but I'm trying! Review!