Disclaimer: So you know that weird series with the vampires and werewolves that all of these crazy girls are obsessed with? Twilight or something. Yeah, I don't own it.

I know I sound repetitive, 'cause I'm repeating myself, and I'm competitive, I want you all by yourself. - If I Only Had the Heart; The Maine


And so Edward and I were friends. Good friends. But as much as I knew this was easiest and what was best for me, I still wanted to be something more with Edward. I really did love him. It was pure happiness to wake up with him beside me, his arms around me when I woke up from a nightmare, but it was another kind of torture not to have him kiss the pain away. I just couldn't win.

With Edward came the rest of the Cullens and I spent a lot of my time at the beautiful house that was once again my second home. But with that thought came the memories of my other second home.

Jacob was ignoring me once again. Phone calls had not been returned and dinner invitations were declined. I had tried to get Charlie to pass notes for Billy to give to Jacob but Billy had either not passed them along or Jacob just hadn't bothered replying. Even though it was most likely the latter, I still hoped Billy was just keeping the letters. Somehow I didn't think that was the case though. I still hoped.

So as happy as I was, I was still going through patches. I often wished that things would just go back to before the infamous baseball game and I didn't know of the amazing friendship I was missing out on. Edward and I were simply perfect and happy, Jacob was just an old friend that I didn't see often, and there were no sadistic vampires chasing me down to kill me. Life had once been so easy.

"This is just too easy."

I look up to find Emmett completely annihilating everything in sight on his Xbox game. A wide grin was spread across his face as he pressed buttons rapidly.

Edward didn't even look up as he played with my hair.

"Emmett," he said in a slightly annoyed tone. "Do you have to have the television on full blast? I would really prefer not to hear the sound of people's limbs being blown off while I spend time with Bella."

"Then go to her house!" Emmett shouted over the explosive noises.

Edward simply sighed before lifting me up in his arms and racing me up the stairs to his room, gently setting me down on his newly acquired bed.

"You do know I have legs, right?" I asked lightly as I rearranged his gold pillows so I could sit up.

Edward shrugged.

"Why use them more than necessary?"

I smiled at up at him.

"I ask myself that question every day." I replied sarcastically.

His cherry lips curved up into a crooked smile and I became more than aware of position we were in.

Edward's arms and legs were on either side of me and he was holding himself up just above me. His bronze hair flopped around his pale face and his dark eyes smoldered into mine. If only I were to lift my heard a just little bit and-

Edward suddenly pulled himself away. In less than a second he had repositioned himself beside me and a foot away.

"Are you sure you can't read my mind?" I sighed.

Edward just smiled sadly before changing the subject.

"Alice says that this Wednesday through Friday will be sunny so we're going to take advantage of that and go hunting."

My once blissful moment had just taken a sharp turn and I sucked in a quick breath. The gaping hole in my chest that I had thought was gone, had just returned and I suddenly had a hard time breathing.

But I held on. I had to. Edward hadn't gone hunting for who knows how long and I knew that each moment he spent with me burned his throat with a painful fire. I wasn't going to make him go through pain just because I was.

I hadn't been away from Edward for more than several hours since we had come back from Italy and just the thought of him being away for days at a time brought me physical pain. I wrapped my arms around myself trying desperately to hold myself together and convince myself that nothing was going to happen.

What if he doesn't come back?

"Bella? Bella. Bella!"

I could hear the angelic voice but I just wasn't responding.

What if he doesn't come back?

"Bella! Are you okay? Bella!"

"I'm fine." I gasped. Edward's arms had joined mine around my body and he was stroking my hair, a determined and pained look painted over his face.

"Never mind, Bella. I'll stay with you. It's okay. Calm down. Everything is okay." Edward murmured soothingly.

What if he doesn't come back?

"I'm going to stay with you."

"No." I said, trying my best to put aside the dark hole in my chest. "Go hunting. You can't stay here and longer, it's too painful for you. Your eyes have been black for weeks."

"I'm not just going to leave you here when you're in pain."

"I'm fine, Edward." I insisted.

"No, you're not! Just the mention of me leaving and look at you!"

I carefully unwrapped my arms, clenching my eyes shut as I tried my best to keep my wincing to a minimal.

"I'm fine, see." I said again, holding my arms up.

Edward sighed.

"I'm not going to hurt you any more than I already have." I tried to cut in but he held a hand up. "Leaving you was the worst mistake I have ever made in my existence as I have said before. You could not do anything to deserve the hurt I put you through. I'm not going to let you go through that again just for my own selfish needs. I. Am. Staying. With. You."

"Edward, just go hunting. It's not selfish, it's necessary." I said. My hole had shrunken to a smaller size and pain was still there, but more bearable. Now I was exasperated and annoyed.

"No. I'm staying with you."

"Please." I look deeply into Edward's coal eyes and held his gaze.

Edward looked away.

"We'll talk about this later." He said.

"We'll talk about his now."

"Stop being stubborn, Isabella."

"Stop being ridiculous, Edward."

He raised a hand to the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath.

"Bella," he said at last, his voice soft. "I don't want to hurt you anymore. I know leaving you hurts you, so I won't leave."

"I understand Edward, I really do, but you have to be reasonable. You have to hunt at some point. I know that being around me is getting harder and harder. I'll be okay. Besides, what's a couple days to six months?" I tried to laugh at my own words but it came out as a choking sound instead.

"I'm not leaving you alone to just go back to how you were...before." We both flinched at his words.

"Edward, please, just go hunting. I can survive without you for a couple days."

Edward didn't reply.


Several days had passed and it was now Tuesday. The next day was going to be sunny and I knew that Edward could not go to school and that he needed to hunt. We hadn't spoken about it since I had...freaked out but I knew it had to come up again.

"So what time are you leaving tomorrow?" I asked, ignoring the tear through my heart. My voice quavered a little bit, but other that I seemed perfectly fine. I said a quick prayer thanking God in my head.

Edward glared at me and with his eyes so black, it was actually a bit scary. But not really.

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are, Edward. Seriously, I'll be fine. You need to hunt, just go. Besides, you could use some quality time with your family. You haven't really gotten any since you came back."

"Bella," He sighed.

I rolled my eyes, trying to lighten the situation.

"Just go, Edward. See, I'm much better. You just surprised me the other day, that's all. I just wasn't expecting that turn in the conversation. I'll be perfectly fine while you're gone."

"Bella," He sighed. "I can't leave you alone here."

And suddenly I had an epiphany.

"I am the smartest person alive!" I exclaimed.

"What?" Edward asked, confused.

"You don't have to leave me alone. You can leave me with the only person who can distract me from the pain of you leaving." I grinned.

Edward looked at me questioningly before his face turned dark in anger from what he now understood.

"No! You can't be with him alone!"

"I won't be! Billy will be there! Besides, we already agreed that I can be with him as long as we're not alone."

"Billy can't stop Jacob from hurting you." Edward glared.

"I can invite him over here and then Billy and Charlie will be here." I reasoned.

"Bella."

"You know what? I think I'll call him right now!" I said. I quickly grabbed the cell phone Edward insisted I have and dialed Jacob's number. After seven rings, Billy answered.

"Hello?" He grunted.

"Billy? It's Bella." I said.

"Um, Jake's not here right now-" He began.

"That's okay. Would you like to come over this week? Bring Jacob too, because I'll be all alone for the next couple of days and I could really use some company. Y'know as protection maybe." I hinted.

"Alone?"

"Yeah, alone." I answered.

Billy was silent for a moment, probably thinking.

"Sure. I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you, Billy. Bye." I said before snapping the phone shut.

"Maybe I really should stay home. I can't have you putting yourself in danger too." Edward sighed.

"Oh, my God, Edward! Are you kidding me? So what are you going to do? Never hunt again? That's just silly and you know it. I. Will. Be. Fine. End of discussion."

With that, I stood up and left the room.


Edward apparently went off and tattled on me to Alice because she called me later that night to tell me that she wouldn't be hunting until later in the week when Edward got back. Until then she would stay with me, or more so, I would stay with her, and once Edward got back (which would undoubtedly be as soon as possible) she would leave to hunt and he would stay with me. This was pathetic. I was a big girl, I could take care of myself.

Of course, according to them, I couldn't.


A/N: Yay! I updated! Aren't you proud? It's okay, I understand why you wouldn't be. I actually wrote this chapter months ago, but I couldn't decide whether or not I wanted to leave it how it is, or if I wanted to add more to the chapter. I decided not to since I couldn't think of anything. I'll try to update very soon!