Hey, everyone. Just added a tiny second chapter to this because I think it was a little too open-ended even for me. And by tiny, I mean TINY. Sorry to disappoint, I'm just not great at writing long stuff because it loses it's emotion.

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Author's Note: This is written in Blair's point of view.


"When guilt fills your head
Brush off rise up from the dead
This is the moment that we
Will come alive
Brace yourself for love
Sweet love, secret love.

We'll write a song
That turns out the lights
When both boy and girl start suddenly shaking inside
Don't waste your time
Speed up your breathing
Just close your eyes
We'll hope it's not for nothing at all
Nothing at all"

Secret Valentine
-We the Kings

She hangs up the phone quietly. It's far too late for anyone to be on the phone without an emergency being the reason. Her husband sleeps restlessly in the room next door and she can hear him tossing and turning up a storm. Bad dream, perhaps? She can relate. Her whole life has been a bad dream lately.

It isn't guilt that makes her uneasy. After all, her husband is notorious for sleeping around with women twice his age, half his age, and sometimes both at the same time. Who wouldn't climb into bed with Nathaniel Archibald for Christ's sake? Well, besides, her. Whenever she did have sex with him, she never enjoyed it because she had to be so careful. Who knew if a slip of tongue would reveal who was really on her mind?

Chuck Bass. His name could melt her. Especially if he was the one saying it, following it with a sexy smirk and nod. It's been weeks since they've actually seen each other in person. It's too dangerous and both know what the result will be. Every time they see each other, they enjoy a devious night of mind-blowing sex, followed by a resolution to finally work things out. But they both know, whatever they started would soon end, because he is Chuck and she is Blair.

Their relationship is a scandalous one, and that's half the reason it's still there. Without the lies, the sinning, the dirty feeling behind every conversation, their relationship is nothing. The unmistakable guilt and horror whenever they look each other in the eye is the foundation to their love. Is that even healthy? She doesn't care. The mystery that lies beyond the sex is something neither party wishes to endure. She knows they'd both rather live their lives separately than to risk being together, only to find it crash and burn.

She can't help feeling a pang in her heart when she remembers that he, too, is married, something the entire Upper East Side was shocked to hear. She knows it's a little hypocritical, but she wishes that she was the only one he made feel special. She's never met the woman because that is sure to cause drama to ensue. The jealously she feels towards this woman, although unreasonable, still stands strong.

She climbs into the giant bed next to Nate and suddenly feels a wave of appreciation. He's still her loyal (minus the few random women), doting husband. He's still the one that will stroke her knee fondly at banquet dinners. He's still the one that will gladly parade around, arm around her waist, to large galas and events. He's still the one that sleeps in their bed at night.

Even after all these years, with an affectionate husband and a passionate lover, Queen B is, in every sense, still on top.


Aw. That's sad. I wish they'd gotten together. Oh well.

Please review, loves. And thanks so much for reading!