Author's Note: -giggles madly- You wouldn't guess the pairing. Ever. Mild OOC...


My Dirty Little Secret


"Hey, Kevin, why aren't we going alien hunting tonight?"

Kevin looked up and glanced at the brown-haired, green-eyed boy. "Because I got something to do."

Ben shrugged. "Can't be that important, Kev."

"It is important. Look, just go home and do...whatever it is you do at your house!" Kevin dismissed him with a flick of the hand. Undeterred, Ben pretended to go stomping off in the direction of his house, but his mind was secretly probing every reason Kevin would postpone alien hunting. Dentist! No wait, that was quite stupid. Maybe he had to go...and...see...someone...

Now, that was an idea.

But WHO?

WHO could possibly be MORE important than living up to his Pumber's badge?

Ben stopped to think, hoping his cranky neighbour wasn't at home. Maybe it's a girl! Oh yeah! That could be it. Didn't Gwen say she had a karate session later on? But normally Gwen didn't have lessons during weekdays. Aha! It hit him. Kevin's got a girlfriend, Kevin's got a girlfriend! The more he thought about it, the more sure he was: knowing that Ben would ruin the date, they both came up with alibis to make sure Ben would be deterred from coming.

Well, there was only one thing to do: Follow Kevin!

But he couldn't do it as himself--he'd stick out a mile away (yeah, he was that handsome) and he'd be running home with a very mad absorber and an Anodite after him before his plan could be unleashed. A smile crossed his face. Big Chill would fit the job--go invisible, and they'd never see him. Ben could see it now...they were just about to kiss, after an amazingly romantic night out, and then...

Kevin and Gwen, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Very immature, but very satisfying.

The perfect revenge for ruining the first part of his date with Julie.


It was a night full of stars and a full moon. Kevin's green car drove down the road...and an unseen giant Necrofriggian cruised above him. It seemed normal so far, but Ben/Big Chill was getting a little confused. Kevin had missed the turn to Gwen's house, and the karate training centre. Where could he be going? Maybe he's still a crook. This new thought made him more determined to follow the car.

A small, bumpy road came up, shielded slightly by trees, and it was here that Kevin's car stopped. Darn. Fly down through the trees in his intangible state and the leaves would freeze. On the other hand, maybe he should land beside the car, just to check if Kevin was meeting shadowy criminals.

Naturally he took Option 2.

Kevin got out of his car, looked around and then he ran one hand across the hood. "Don't worry," He said quietly, almost as if he were reassuring someone. "You'll be in good hands."

He paused for a little while, and then added, "I'll miss you too."

Right then, in front of our poor wickle Benji's eyes, Kevin kissed the car's windshield. If he'd been human, all the colour would have been drained from Ben's face. If he'd been kissing a girl, the girl would probably have fainted right after the kiss...but it was a car, so it didn't, and anyway cars can't faint. In a way it reminded Ben of a movie. The hero and his girl making out to the strains of Insert Random Boyband Song Here.

Except, it was a car.

As soon as he finished the kiss, Kevin gave the car another longing glance (to quote a webcomic, it was full of love, like a loving river of and drove off. Ben turned back, still stunned, with a very surprised and grossed out look on his face. His eyes were wide open, nostrils flared, and his mouth fell open. Presumably Kevin had been driving it off to be fixed for some minor problem, and had been giving it a...uh...lover's goodbye...and did not want anyone to know.

Ben stood there replaying the scene in his mind, feeling a terribly strong bodily reaction to puke and then go home to look at happy pictures of fluffy things and cupcakes, and thus cleanse his mind of the horror: his fellow teammate, in love with a CAR.

And a pretty LAME car, if you asked Ben, but that wouldn't be a very fair comparision because Ben was quite into dramatic looking sports cars that were loaded with flamethrowers, machine guns, laser beams and dispensable pickles by the dozen. (And don't get him started on Transformers.)

So when Kevin came walking down the sidewalk and saw Ben standing there with a look of utter horror on his face, he did the math.

And his face turned several shades of scarlet.

Ben finally realized Kevin was here, gasped and was about to slam his Omnitrix to give him...uh...ANYTHING WITH LEGS!

But he didn't get that chance just yet.



Author's Note: ...that's how I know I've been reading too much VG Cats.