Disclaimer: I do not own The Last Unicorn.

"Go away. You do not make me… happy."

Schmendrick rolled his eyes. The speech was coming again. He poofed up some colorful balls to juggle to amuse himself.

King Haggard dramatically stood and swept to a window, one that overlooked the sea.

"I can never look at anything for very long, except the sea. The unicorns. They fill me with joy. I must have them, have all of them! And I will! For they are the only thing that makes me… HAPPY!"

Somehow he managed to get his cape to billow out behind him. It was probably because this freakin' castle was so precariously perched over the ocean. Cooler on the waterfront, you know.

Schmendrick cleared his throat. "My lord, if I may…"

"What do you want?"

"Your highness, have you ever considered unicorn… plushies?"

Haggard stared at him. He stared at Haggard.


"Yes. Stuffed animals, your majesty."

He blinked for perhaps the first time in ten years. "Plushies… unicorn plushies…"

Schmendrick turned the spheres into flowers. The king watched this without seeing. "Where does one get unicorn… plushies?"

"Er… Toys R Us has a stuffed animal section."

Haggard was already out the door.

Schmendrick sighed. Well, at least he'd made the king happy.

Molly woke up the next day to find the kitchen painted pink. There was unicorn wallpaper and stuffed unicorns in every corner.