A/N: Whew!!! It's been soooo long that I had to reread everything I had written to figure out how to continue. Scary thought… I had an outline (but like most things in my life, it's missing… I think the tooth fairy or Easter Bunny stole it while I slept one night….)
DISCLAIMER: I am not Stephenie Meyer, I own nothing TWILIGHT related.
On another side note, the DVD comes out soon, so YEA!!!!
I was turning into a psycho. I was becoming more and more mad. I spent the next three days at Cassie and Sam's home. Sam was nice enough to talk to the headmaster and we came up with the excuse that I just needed some more time to adjust to my life without my parents.
Mr. Cullen seemed to understand, and even excused me from school work for the next week. He sent home notes of encouragement and compassion each day with Sam. I was touched that someone who didn't know me at all would care about my well-being. He seemed like such a wonderful human being. It only made what almost happened between his son and I that much more horrible.
I had freaked out. I let my crappy past and luck with guys push Edward quickly out the door. And surprisingly, he didn't look at me like I was a freak when he left. There was something on his face and in his eyes that was kind and sincere when he left. I was almost sad that he hadn't come back to check on me. But I guess I shouldn't expect someone like Edward Cullen to care about me much. Still… a girl could dream, couldn't she?
I sat in the backyard watching the clouds as they passed above. It wasn't raining, for now, and I hoped that it would hold off for a couple more hours. I stared up at the sky listening to the sounds around. I heard a stick snap behind me and I jerked around.
"Sorry! I didn't mean to startle you. I just…. Well… I miss you Bella. School's not the same without you." Alice looked back at me with her big eyes and smiled. I hate to say it, but I had completely forgotten about Alice. She was becoming a good friend and then I freak out.
Part of me kept reminding myself to forget making friends. With any luck I would be home after the police caught this guy and all these people could just get on with their lives. But Alice (and her brother if I'm being honest) were making it difficult to stay distant from people. I didn't want to lie to anyone, but they could never know the truth. It was an impossible situation.
"It's not your fault Alice. I've just been deep in thought for the past few days. Nothing makes sense to me anymore. I keep thinking that I'll figure out a way to solve all my problems if I just think hard enough… But I'm still stuck and there doesn't seem to be any way I can help it…" I put my head down, afraid that I've said too much.
"Well, how about you talk to me about it. Maybe I can help…" She sits next to me while I'm silent.
I shake my head. "No, there's nothing you can do… Nothing that anyone can do, really. I just… I just want it all back… My…" Tears begin streaking down my face.
"I know it can be hard moving on… Personally, I'll be honest. I've been blessed. No one that I've loved has ever died before. I do know how to be supportive for people who have gone through this though. I mean, Edward and I are closer now… I helped him… let me help you…" Her eyes are pleading with me as I look up.
"Edward??? What do you mean Edward?" My curiosity has been piqued now. I just hope that she doesn't think I like her brother that way. Because that would be nothing short of total embarrassment.
"He didn't tell you the other night. His last girl friend. When we lived in Alaska… before Dad got the job here… He really didn't tell you… I was sure he would've…" Alice looks away as if she's trying to decide whether or not to continue.
"Alice… it's okay… you don't have to tell me… I mean, it's none of my business… Besides… you don't even know me. Why would you tell me? And if you did know me, you'd stay far away from me. I only hurt the people around me…" There I go again, saying too much around this pixie.
"I just don't know if Edward would forgive me for telling you. I mean, it's more his story than mine. I'm sorry, Bella… I can't tell you. Just know that I can be here for you, and I know what you're going through."
Really?!?! You have dealt with a crazy psycho that wants to kill you so you faked your own death and left everyone that you love, your home, your life for a new place and identity until the guy is caught…. I'm so close to blurting that out, but instead settle for saying, "Highly doubtful."
"Come on, there's nothing you can't tell me. I swear… whatever you tell me, stays between us. No one will know unless you tell them. I promise."
"Um… can I take a rain check. I mean… maybe someday in the future I'll be able to talk about it, but for now…" my voice drifts off. I just can't jeopardize this girl's life. I care about her too much and that scares me that I care about her when I tried so hard to stay unattached.
Alice smiled wide and threw her arms around me. "Do you know what you need?" She paused a millisecond and continued before I could answer her. "You need a girls' day. Rose and I want you to come over to the house and we can pamper you."
She's practically bouncing in her seat. As I look at her, I just can't say no because of her excitement. I nod my head and the quickly throws her arms around me and almost knocks me over in the process.
"I can't wait to see Edward face when you sleep over at our house tonight. We can pig out on junk food and fix your hair and we'll just have a lot of fun. That's what you need."
She left shortly after that and I was left alone. Alone to think… alone to mope… alone to wonder why she was excited to see Edward's face. I guess her really did think of me as a freak after the other night. Oh well, might as well get ready to go over there. Sam would drive me there shortly.
"Well, I knew the headmaster's family was well-off, but I had no idea their house looked like this…" Sam was staring as wide-eyed as I was at the Cullen mansion in front of us. He had volunteered to take me over to the house so I could have a night with Alice. Sam and Cassie thought some time to make some new friends would do me some good.
"Bella!!!!" Alice came bounding out of the front door while Sam and I stood in awe by his car. I felt underdressed for this house. But Alice was wearing pajama pants and a large T-shirt, so I guess I was just being a little silly.
"Hi, Mr. Atera… Did you want to come inside? My dad is in the living room watching some game on the big screen…"
Sam looked unsure for a second before speaking, "Actually, I should get home to my wife. Knowing her, she will be doing some things she shouldn't… Call me when you're ready Bella." He gave me a half-hug and got back into his car before driving away.
Alice led me inside quickly. If it were possible, the inside was even more gorgeous than the outside. The entire front hall was immaculate. Everything was white and shiny and beautiful.
"Wow…" No other words could come to my mouth.
"Thank you, Bella. I do my best around here, even if my children don't appreciate it." A tall woman with long, bronze hair like Edward's came into the room from the right. "I'm Esme. I've heard all about you from my husband, son, and daughter. Welcome."
"Thank you. You're home is amazing. And it's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Cullen."
"Please, call me Esme. Mrs. Cullen is my mother-in-law and you know how we all feel about those…" She smiled devilishly and winked at me.
"Now, Esme, don't be talking about my mother that way, you know you love her. Hello, Bella. It's good to see you're up and about again."
"Um… yes, thank you headmaster Cullen." I was gaping at how normal he looked in a polo shirt and khaki pants.
"Bella, we're out of school. From what I hear, you're going to be best friends with my daughter and son, so you might as well just learn to call me Carlisle. I'm glad you're feeling better. If there's anything I can do to help you out, please let me know."
"Um, okay, head… I mean, Carlisle. Thank you."
"Come on, Bella. Rose is waiting upstairs. Let's get out of here before he starts talking about homework or something." Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me up the stairs. We arrived upstairs and Alice pulled me into a gorgeous pink and purple room with a huge bed and lots of plush everything.
"Alice, I left my stuff downstairs. You didn't give me time to grab it." I was about to turn back to go get my stuff when Alice stopped me.
"That's okay, Bella. Wait! EDWARD!!!!!!" Alice screamed down the hall.
"Oh, God! Alice, I can go get it myself." I was about to step out of her room when her brother came walking in. We literally ran into each other, which meant that my clumsy side came through and I began to fall towards the floor.
However, before I could hit the floor, two strong arms wrapped around me and helped me regain my footing. "Well hello to you too, Bella," he chuckled.
"Um… hi…" I said to the floor.
This must have been amusing to Edward, because he released me and began to laugh. "You rang, boss," he said over my head.
"Yes, I did little brother. Bella left her stuff by the door… do you think you could go get it for her. She may fall down the stairs or something." She wrapped her arm around my shoulders to hug me, but her comment still stung.
"I'm fine, you know. I'm not always so clumsy. I can do things myself." My voice rose as I spoke and within seconds I was pushing Alice's arm from my shoulder, pushing Edward aside and heading down the stairs.
Once at the bottom, I didn't feel like talking to anyone. I didn't want to be the but of anyone's joke. I grabbed the door handle and yanked it open. The cool night air hit me quickly and I stopped as soon as I reached the front steps.
I sat down, wrapping my arms around my knees and just sat silently. I hate this place. Everyone thinks I'm a joke, and I can't tell anyone why I'm always so upset. I'm making a fool out of myself and I don't even know what I'm doing anymore.
"Bella, are you all right?" Edward's velvety voice came softly behind me.
I… um…" I opted for nodding while I tried to hide the treacherous tears that had fallen from my eyes.
He sat beside me and placed a blanket around my shoulders. "I thought you might want some time alone, but it's supposed to be pretty cold out. I will say this though, sometimes, silence is golden, but someone to talk to is priceless. I've been where you are, I'm more than willing to listen."
My anger that had been building up inside me chose that moment to burst forth… "You've been where I am? Seriously, you in your mansion with your perfect parents and your perfect perky sister have been where I am. What a joke. You're an idiot if you think you've been where I am."
I stood up abruptly and let the blanket fall to the steps. I turned away from him and began running. I ran up the mile-long driveway knowing that the footsteps behind me were Edward's. He should've been faster than me, but he made no moves to catch me. I ran until I couldn't anymore. That's when Edward gathered me in his arms and held me while I cried.