I don't own these characters; Disney does.
A/N: So, this story is a little out of my norm, but it was done as a shipping trade. So, I present to you my Warhok/Shego story! Oh, in order for this story to work, you have to at least entertain the idea that Ron did not kill Warhok and Warmonga. Please, enjoy.
Second Star to the Left
He growled under his breath while balling his hands into tight fists. Veins appeared as if they were trying to escape his body as they bulged from his neck and forehead. His sharp teeth ground against each other with much effort; if he was not careful, he was liable to break one of the ivory points. His eyes looked ahead, but could focus on nothing because of the throbbing behind his eyes. His head was pounding, like a thorjack was stampeding in his brain. His mind screamed for silence, making every bone in his face feel like it would shatter.
Why would she not shut up?! She had been ranting and raving endlessly…or at least it seemed endless to him. Every noise that came from her now consumed his sanity and wound his hard body tighter and tighter. He was going to crack like an egg if he did not get some peace and quiet soon...and if he was going to crack, he planned to cover her with all of the goo.
Instead of confronting and possibly killing the only ally he had left thanks to his banishment (that he blamed solely on her), he turned the viewing console back on. He placed the headphones over his large, pointed ears and proceeded to drown out her whining about the damned Great Blue. He could not help wondering how someone her age could even still believe in that fairy tale. Worse than that, he could not help wondering how he had put up with such juvenile thoughts for so long.
"Soon I shall not have to bother with her," he grumbled as he started up the footage, watching for at least the millionth time.
It was such an insignificant planet, he thought as he viewed the carnage he and his partner wrought on that waste of blue space—Earth. They had reduced the planet to rubble and had the inhabitants on their knees within minutes. It seemed like it would be a glorious conquest and a notch in his laser gun. Everything had gone perfectly…until he started listening to her.
"I should have just blown the damned ball up instead of taking prisoners. I never take prisoners. But, next thing I know, I have blue maniac with flowers sticking out of him and some little girl with the moves of the Goddess of Foot-soldiers herself. I should have squashed them like the bugs they were the moment that they got on board the ship, but no, I had to listen to her again. She wanted to prolong their suffering, to toy with them, to play with them because she is weak in mind and body. Because they were able to fool her and use her and then defeat her. I should not have played her game, but then again, it did give me the chance to see this one…"
The footage paused on a still image of Shego; she was in the middle of a slash move. A sound that could have been mistaken for a purr rumbled through his chest. Something about her was so…captivating.
He often wondered if it was the fire in her eyes, or maybe even the fire in her hands that kept his attention. Was it the obvious underlying softness of her powerful, confident form? Was it the sneer on her lip? He had no clue what drew him to her, but he could not fight against the pull.
"I thought that she was a child from Lorwardia at first, but no child is capable of the skill and cunning of this creature," he commented to the air. A satisfied smirk worked its way onto his face as he left the scene play out.
He pulled up other videos that he was able to find of the fiery, raven-haired warrior. He watched hours upon hours of her battling with the petite battle-goddess that had bested his own mate in a fight. From what he could tell, the redhead was indeed divine from the way that she bested yet another green-skinned warrior. Still, he was only drawn in more to that silver-tongued female. If the redhead was a goddess, then her foe was a demon. He always preferred demons to the divine.
"I would conquer a dozen galaxies for a companion such as her. A wicked wit and sharpened skill. Worlds would bow at our feet," he commented and slowly licked his lips. Best of all, he would never have to hear about the Great Blue again.
He never expected such talents to come in such a small package; Earth seemed to have it in spades, actually. Between her, the redhead, and the monkey-boy, martial skill seemed to be as simple as breathing. If he had only seen those three in action before going to Earth, he night have actually be convinced that all "Earth-ers" could raise war so well.
What his demon-warrior and the divine redhead had that did seem to be absent from the monkey-boy was brains. Watching them as often as he did, he had come to see they were both highly intelligent and quick with their minds in several ways, be they smart remarks or rapid solutions. They were not only quick on their feet, but also capable solving long, drawn out problems; the redhead actually seemed more comfortable with the former than the later, he noted sometime ago. He was certain that the redhead would have made an excellent soldier for the Lorwardian army, but he knew that she would never serve. That fact saved her from his obsession.
He was interested in the demon amongst them. Somewhere along the line, he recognized that a passing curiosity that stemmed from a mistake led him to a place of longing. He had only wondered how a Lorwardian child had gotten to such a distant planet. After he realized that she was not a child, he began to wonder why she was green when it was not a common skin tone among Earth-ers. In fact, he did his research and found that only two people of Earth were green: Shego and some asparagus woman. Two out six billion was a stat that stuck out.
It had all gone down hill from there. He watched their battle. He then scanned the Earth "Internet" for more. The Internet gave him almost endless streams of video and information to devour, and devour he did, like a starving man at a feast. He now had favorite shots of her, favorite lines, and even questions that he wanted to ask. More than requests, he had proposals. He wanted to suggest things to her.
"Surely she would have no objection to ruling a planet or two with me. I know it appeals to her," he mumbled to himself as he searched the internet for anything new on the emerald-fire demon.
He grumbled deep within his chest as his search came up in vain. There were no new interesting items about Shego. The last worthwhile thing she had done, in his opinion, was aid in his defeat. Other than that, there were things about her showing up at restaurants or other places with Drakken. It had been months by Earth-time and Shego had not done anything exciting. She had not faced off with the redheaded goddess.
"Something's wrong," he considered. He could not see a reason why Shego was not out doing what she usually did. He knew fighting was in her blood and conquest was her destiny.
Shego groaned into a cushion from her place on her large sofa. She was covered in a thick, black terrycloth bathrobe. There was a half-eaten grilled cheese on her coffee table with an empty beer can that had a hole in the middle. She belched loudly; the sound echoed off the walls, even though they were far apart. It was so quiet in the house that it was possible to hear footsteps echo. Shego swore that she could hear a sheet of paper hit the floor in her kitchen, which was located on the floor below her.
She rolled over onto her back, revealing red-rimmed eyes. Emerald orbs that once shined had dulled over time. Perfect white-green skin was now pale and sickly with lines running in different directions. The long, flow river of ebony that used to trail behind her like a comet's tail was twisted and knotted from lack of care. Even once-beloved nails had chipped, broken, or grown in warped fashions, but all had gone unchecked. What was the point of it all?
Her eyes fell into the direction of the television. She considered watching, but the remote was not in her line of vision, so she decided to hell with it. She settled on watching her partially eaten lunch on the table, which was in arm's reach.
Shego could have reached out and grabbed her sandwich to at least finish it, but she figured, why bother? She was tempted to claw her eyes out, but then again, the thought of reaching that high…just for some eyes. Not worth it. Nothing was worth it. Nothing mattered.
The sound of glass shattering behind her did make her ass move. She leaped up from the sofa and landed in a fighting stance, senses on high alert. A snarl worked its way to her chapped lips as soon as she spied her target; her brain barely had time to register who was breaking into her home.
"Well, if it isn't the alien pigeon. Here for another ass-kicking?" Shego inquired with a wicked smirk as she took in the huge frame of Warhok. Her insides quivered and she was not sure what she wanted to do first, trade insults or get right to fighting. So many choices!
"What the hell is this you're living in?" Warhok demanded to know as he glanced around the massive home. It felt big even to him, but he did not respect the size. He did not respect the décor. He did not respect any part of it since it meant that his demon-warrior was settling. Warriors were not supposed to settle.
"In the civilized world, we call it a house. Similar to the caves you live in, except with hot water, heat, and comfort," she remarked and shivers went down her spine. Oh, that felt good to say! Sure, it was a bit cheesy, but it still felt good. She needed to do it more often while she had the chance.
"On Lorwardia, someone like you, in the prime of life, would be out conquering worlds and having slaves lay at her feet," Warhok stated with a disgusted frown. He rolled his eyes as he continued to look around the house with disapproval written all over his face. She did not know he rolled his eyes since they were completely yellow, but the disgust was plain as day.
"Yeah, well, believe me, I would if I could, but damned Doctor D is on this straight and narrow thing now," she snorted and took a moment to roll her eyes that time.
"'Doctor D?' The pathetic blue fool that tricked Warmonga?" Warhok inquired, just to make sure he had his information straight. He could not figure out why Shego would stay with that lout after watching so much footage on her, which included things about Drakken.
"Yeah, that's him. He's on this 'right-side-of-the-law' kick. I mean, ever since our fifteen minutes of fame from kicking your butt wore off, he's been working his ass off to try to get back in everyone's good graces by inventing something useful. Needless to say, it's not working and I'm bored out of my mind!" Shego screamed, more to the ceiling than her unexpected visitor. That had been building for months now. When she first said it to Drakken, he just blew her off and continued on with his work.
Warhok nodded. "As you should be. A warrior should be out, doing battle, gaining conquest!" he declared and he made a tight fist that he shook once in her direction.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she replied in a flippant tone. She actually agreed with him, though. She felt like she was wasting away and she ached to do something, to resemble something of her former self rather than be the shell of a person who had been on the sofa for three days straight with no will to move.
"Is that why I have not heard anything about you recently? You have retired because of that blue twit?" Warhok demanded to know, scowling at the thought of this fiery demon ending her career for some idiot that did not deserve her company.
"Heard from me?" she echoed as a puzzled expression washed over her face. Then, as a light bulb went off in her head, she smirked her usual taunting smile. "You been stalking me, big boy?" she asked. She wondered why he was watching her. Was it to destroy her? She doubted it since he could have done that the moment he burst into the room. So, what was his interest in her?
Warhok actually stammered and his face fell for a moment, betraying him to her in a second. He coughed and straightened himself up. He stood tall and puffed out his massive chest, as if that made everything that just happened go away.
"I was merely doing recon work," he lied smoothly. He knew that he could not let her know just how interested he was in her or she would use it against him. That was how her mind worked; something that made her vastly different from his current battle-mate.
"Yeah, and that's why you didn't start a battle to the death in the middle of my living room when you charged in. What do you really want, big boy?" Shego inquired as her smirk stayed in place. She stood up from her battle stance and took a more cocky position. Her hands were to her hips and her body leaned in more relaxed manner. She cocked her hip out to the left and waited for the explanation, all the while very aware that she was in short robe and very aware that he noticed it too.
Warhok growled deep in his throat, but it sounded much more like a purr; well, if a lion could purr anyway. He contemplated confessing everything, laying all of his cards out right there on the table, just to see what her reaction would be, but he knew that he had to play it cool. He did not want to ruin the chance to take away the only good thing on the accursed blue rock known as Earth. He then hoped to leave, to go far away from the color blue for as long as possible. If he never saw the color blue again, it would be too soon.
"Come on, open up your mouth and spit it out. Tell Mama what you're here for," Shego prodded him, smiling all the way through like the Cheshire cat.
"I came to check on you. I noticed that you haven't been doing what you usually do," he admitted.
"No, for me this is par for the course. I generally sit on my ass most of the time and then have long talks with former enemies," she remarked, some bitterness sneaking into her voice. Emerald eyes narrowed and flashed briefly with raw anger because her words were very true.
"You are a warrior. You live to fight. You have not been fighting, so you have not been alive," he reasoned.
A frown suddenly overtook Shego's face. She felt like she was dead. Nothing mattered and she never wanted to do anything. She wanted Drakken to wake up and go back to trying to take over the world, so she could have something to do, something that gave her a rush, something that let her know that she was alive.
"I can give you what you crave. I can give you more than that blue, flowered idiot ever thought possible. We could conquer this world and beyond," Warhok declared as he took a few steps toward her.
"Is that what this is about? You want to recruit me?" she asked in disbelief. An eyebrow arched high on her forehead as she regarded him as if he was quite mad.
"I do not wish to recruit you to work for me. I want us to work together. You desire an equal share and I will give you that as well as all the land and treasure your imagination could come up with," he replied. He now stood before her, gazing down on her determined yellow eyes.
"Yeah, right. You, me, and Warmonga, right? We could have a little fighting threesome. What're you looking for, a battle harem?" Shego scoffed and rolled her eyes. Like hell she would just go off with some alien that had once tried to kill her, to be his whore.
"You misunderstand me. I want you and I to work together as partners in battle. I'm sick of Warmonga and her incessant whining about the Great Blue. It is a fairy tale, but she doesn't get that. Her limited intellect has worn on my nerves and I'm ready to be done with her. I think that you and I would make quite the conquering team," he informed Shego with a small, supposed-to-be charming smile.
"So, you're just going to dump Warmonga and try to hook up with me, your enemy?" she asked, openly laughing at how ridiculous it sounded aloud.
"You were only my enemy because you were Warmonga's foe. She was upset that you had tricked her, but she should have been ashamed that she could be so easily tricked by so many people. You have a cunning mind while she does not. I would prefer if we were allies and that we made our own plans rather than include Warmonga or even discuss her further," he answered.
"We're going to have to discuss her a little further, buddy-boy. I want to know why you're suddenly so interested in me. I wasn't the only one you fought with on Earth," she pointed out. If anything, she figured that he would be looking to ally with Ron since it was the blonde that almost killed both aliens.
"I think out of everyone, you're the one who is a conqueror at heart. Besides, you're intelligent and well-skilled in armed and unarmed combat. I also know now that you're bored with your lot in life, as you should be. Someone of your skill should not be left to waste away on the couch. I've told you, I'm tired of Warmonga and her obsession with the Great Blue. Could you imagine hearing about a fairy tale for every moment of every second of every day?" he snarled as he thought about it. He was half-certain that Warmonga was slowly going insane because of her obsession and the fact that she did not take their banishment from Lorwardia so well. He did not care about the insanity, but he did care that she was going crazy so close to him and dragging him along for the ride.
Shego scoffed. "Trust me, I've heard worse. I can feel your pain."
"Then why stay?" he inquired.
Shego opened her mouth and was about to answer, but quickly shut it. Why did she stay? In the past, she would have shrugged and explain that Drakken needed her, or she halfway liked the cerulean idiot, but those words would not come now. He did not need her. He had been given a lab and assistants after helping save the world and he used them much more now. He rarely even called her in to brag to her and when he did it was about some gizmo that was meant to help the world. She missed the old Doctor D and it did not look like he was coming back anytime soon. Not to mention, the new Doctor D was a goody-goody that forgot she was around much of the time.
"You can't expect me to just abandon my life here on Earth to go conquering with you," she countered…although it did sound tempting. Forget about Iceland, or even the world, she could have many worlds.
"Why not? What do you have here on Earth?" he demanded to know while motioning around the room with his massive hand.
The frown on Shego's face deepened. Technically, she did not have anything. Doctor Drakken forgot about her while trying to impress the world. Her brothers only accepted her because they thought that she was good again; little did they know, she was just lazy. She had not seen Kim in months, so it was not like they could have a fight for old times' sake. Hell, even when she did see Kim that last time, they spoke as if they were friends. How damn disgusting! She was just fading away on her couch.
"How do I know this isn't some trick for you to get me to your ship and unleash Warmonga on me?" Shego inquired, even though she would not mind fighting either aliens at the moment. Death was not sounding like a bad thing either. It was not like she was doing anything with her life and that did not appeal to her at all.
"I would have easily brought her with me and let her pummel you in your home," he answered.
She shrugged. "Good point. You have to make this worth my time. Make me want to come with you. Throw me a deal, pal," she said. She was open to the idea now. She wanted to see what he was willing to give her to make her leave the only planet that she had ever known.
"Anything on my ship is at your disposal. The first world that we conquer, it could be in your name. The planet will be yours to start your own empire. From then on, we can either conquer in both our names or I take one planet, then you take the next and we go like that. If we do not conquer a world by the end of one Earth year, I will return you to this place," he vowed.
"And how can I believe that?" she asked, eyebrow high on her forehead again.
"I am a warrior, not a liar. I have honor and my word is better than most. You will have to take a chance here, fire-demon," he replied. He did not realize his slip of the tongue in calling her out of her name.
"Fire-demon?" she echoed.
Warhok gasped as he heard his words repeated back to him. He stammered for a moment, wondering how to cover up such a slip. He silently berated himself for acting like a love-struck teenager around the tiny woman. She chuckled as she noticed something that would have embarrassed him further; he was slightly blushing.
"You got it, big guy," she agreed.
"Really?" he asked in disbelief. "Why the sudden change?"
Shego smirked that soon-to-be-familiar teasing smile. "You've got a cute blush."
Shego reclined on a throne of solid gold. There were a few lines on her face and a ring of white around her ink-black hair. She stared out into the crown jewel of the ever-growing empire. She then took the hand of the giant next to her. Warhok looked down at her.
"Who says that Lorwardia was home to the best fighters in the universe?" she remarked with a smile.
"It is now, my dear. After all, it is ours. You'll make a fine queen for these maggots," he replied.
"Well, my king, let's get down to business with those who banished you for losing one little battle so long ago," she commented with an impish smile, but cruelty in her eyes.
"Yes, we do have to figure out the punishment of the people that actually made it possible for us to work together," he concurred.
Shego smiled a little more as they cast their hard eyes into a crowd of newly conquered Lorwardians. It was time for Warhok to show them just who they exiled so long ago. And he was going to show them why the exile was the best thing that they had ever done for him…and the worst that they could have done for themselves. He and his fire-demon were going to rule them with iron fists.
"Bring in the first prisoners," Warhok called. He then glanced down at Shego once more and smiled. Best exile ever.