Someone dared me (unknowingly hee hee) to show the possibilities of Lindsey, Spike AND Buffy together. Let's see Splindsey is linds and spike, so all three is... Splinffy? Anyway, I wrote up this ficlet in response to the unintended dare.

For those of you who read my normal fare, this is NOTHING like that, other than maybe the content of humor. Slash/Slash-suggestion/Snark/Threesome-suggestion here-in lie. If you don't like, please just don't read it.

Smooches!!!!!

Oh, and I owe NOTHING in relation to BTVS/AtS, other than a 2006 calendar, which i will never give up cuz of all of the pretty pictures, this is a fan appreciation piece, no infringement intended or profit being made.


"She's cute."

"Oi! You don't want to touch that."

"Why?" Lindsey stepped around Spike and took a better look at the petite blonde who was talking to Angel. "She one of your catches?"

"Yeah, hooked her, reeled her in, and she fuckin' bit me." Spike hooked his finger on the back of Lindsey's belt, tugging the Texan closer. Lowering his voice he added, "You think 'I'm' a ride? That there is the Slayer."

Lindsey eyed the tiny woman again. "Her?"

Settling his chest against Lindsey's back, Spike wrapped his arms around the cowboy's waist and rested his chin on his shoulder. "The one and only... Well, not the one and only anymore, but she's the original Sunnydale version. Queen of the Slayers. …a sweet bit of honey with a definite sting."

"Is that so?"

Spike didn't miss the hum of excitement in his boys' voice. "She'd break you. She'd break you into a fuckload of pieces. She nearly broke me." Running his tongue along the vein that pulsed so invitingly in Lindsey's neck, they listened to the 'private' conversation that Buffy and Sir Broods-a-lot were having.

"So basically, what you're telling me is that you were 'uncursed' by Willow – two years ago, and you didn't bother to contact me?!" Buffy hissed.

"Well –"

"I could have… we could have… I mean, together!? We could have been together, again, and you didn't even bother to pick up a phone to call me and say 'hey, Buffy… guess what? We can 'boff' again!'?" Buffy poked Angel in the chest with her index finger. "We could have…! and you didn't bother to call me?!" Her hiss was becoming pretty close to a yell.

"Buffy, I'm sorry. I --,"

"Oh this ought to be good! What possible excuse could you have for not calling, or writing, or something?"

Spike grinned as he watched Cordelia snake her way into the room. The Seer was looking particularly good today, curves and waves speaking volumes. "This ought to be good." He whispered in Linds' ear.

"Still here, Buffy?" Cordelia asked as she glided to Angel's side.

"I was going to ask the same thing about you," she sniped confidently.

Confidently that is until she saw Cordelia slide one hand up Angel's bicep, her fingers curling proprietarily over his muscles.

"Oh yeah, I'm still here. And I've got no plans on going anywhere else, anytime soon." Cordelia stared – the famous 'I'm a bitch and I know it' stare – at Buffy, before turning to Angel with a smile. "I'm going to go and run a bath..." She stood on her tip toes and planted a peck on Angel's cheek, "and since you've been such a good boy today, I'm going to let you scrub my back…. So, hurry up."

Without another glance at Buffy, but with a definite smirk of Bitchy Power in Spike's direction, Cordelia left the room.

"Are you kidding me?!" Buffy shrieked.

"I told you that was gonna be good," Spike murmured.

"You did indeed; Queen C sure enough knows how to rule a room."

"…And how to put her subjects in place."

Running his hand along Spike's thigh, Lindsey pondered, "So which one of them would win in a head to head?"

"Slayer or the Seer?"

His boy nodded affirmatively and Spike groaned. "Cat fight. Fuck! I'd pay to see that! Straight out fight? It would be the Slayer, but if there were any men in the room… hmmpf… Princess might pull it out."

"Pull it out and rub it?" Lindsey teased, a sexy smile splitting his face as he felt Spike hardening behind him.

"Talk like that'll get you in trouble, Linds."

"Trouble like that, I want to get in me."

Spike quietly growled, but before he could further express his approval, Buffy and Angel's 'discussion' grabbed their attention again.

"Fine! Fine! If you want to sleep with a bitch, then I wish you and Cordelia all of the best!" Buffy picked up her bag then spun around, ''oh, and if you thought I was waiting for you… all of this time, you were wrong! I've been with other men. Humans, Immortals, and, and… Spike!" She pointed in Spike's direction. "As a matter of fact, I really only wanted to sleep with you again so that I could remind myself how good all the other guys were!"

Lindsey and Spike spoke at the same time:

"Oooooh!"

"Ouch!"

"Almost feel sorry for Peaches. Almost."

Fuming, Buffy flounced away from Angel. Just as she passed Spike and Lindsey she paused. "Spike!"

"Yeah?"

She glanced over her shoulder at Angel, just to make certain he was still paying attention (which, truth be told, he barely was, cuz, well, naked Seer sitting in a jasmine scented bubble bath upstairs…. Yeah) then she turned back to Spike. "How about once more for old times' sake?"

Spike couldn't stop his cock from twitching. Sweet bit of honey with a definite sting. "Well, yeah, that's a nice heart-felt offer and all, Slayer, but, I'm otherwise engaged," Spike lowered one of his hands to the buckle of Lindsey's jeans. "In case you hadn't noticed."

Buffy's eyes followed his hands as they trailed down Lindsey's toned body. Raising her eyes to, first Lindsey's face, and then to Spike's, her eyes flashed with irritation, frustration, and, oh yeah, lust. "Bring him with."

She turned on her heel and pushed out of the room.

Spike glanced down at Lindsey's face. "Eh, um, wanna?"

"You, me, and the slayer?"

"Bit of sweet honey."

"With a sting. Don't forget about the sting."

"A little pain is a good thing, as you've proven to me a number of times."

"Spppppiiiiiiiikkkkkkkeeeeee!!!!!!" The Slayer's voice echoed down the hall.

"Well?" Spike arched an eye at Lindsey.

"I thought you said she'd break me?"

"1) I won't let her hurt you… too much. And 2) did I mention the sweet honey?"

Lindsey grinned. "Then let's not keep the lady waitin'."