Disclaimer:The inspiration for this crack fic belongs to the comic "Blankied" by Slinkers of Deviant Art. I take no credit whatsoever for his/her artistic genius.

Final Fantasy VII belongs to Square Enix and its respective creators.

Warning: There are some ideas in the crack fic that may be controversial! I would know…A friend of mine and I got into a major "Nuh-uh!" and "Uh-huh!" battle over it… ^ ^;; There is also a good chance that this also maybe but OOC, but it's a crack fic, so it wouldn't matter. ;D

(I also know that Vincent actually doesn't turn into a cloak. He just hides in it like a pansy and flies around. xDDD JK.)


Vincent wondered which god he had angered when this, this idiotic question came about.

And would you like to know who asked this question? Well, the answer isn't very hard to come up with. Just think a little. Know who it is?

Reno. Explains itself, doesn't it?

It all started after the remnants of Sephiroth were finally destroyed, and everyone was lounging about in various parts of Seventh Heaven for much deserved rest and celebration.

Vincent, as usual, was sitting at a table in a small corner all to himself, preferring to watch the festivities instead. His eyes were closed as he concentrated on the sweet, spicy flavor of his red wine, but he could already sense someone's gaze burning into his face.

Confident footsteps followed soon afterward, along with the scuffling of a chair and a body plopping into it.

"So," a deep, smooth tone asked. It was obviously Reno. "…Valentine…could you explain the blanket thing to me?"

Had Vincent heard him correctly? Was all that time in that coffin finally catching up with him? His eyes lazily slid open and his eyebrows furrowed a smidgen. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Reno smirked that little infuriating smirk of his. You know, the one that makes it appear he knows everything when, in reality, he doesn't? "Don't worry, Vince. I'm not gonna tell anybody."

The only reaction he received from was Vincent was a bland glare and total silence.

That only served to cause the younger man's smirk to grow. "Don't think I didn't see you out there in blanket form… You know, flying around and beating the living hell out of those whiny remnants with your awesome blanket powers…"

Vincent had to fight the suddenly urge to claw Reno's face off.

To calm himself, he swallowed a small sip of red wine before addressing the idiot in front of him. It seems that allow anyone to be Turks these days. "Actually," he muttered irritably, "I can transform into a flying cloak at will. And don't call me 'Vince.'"

The redhead's smirk grew into a grin. "Heh, Vince, you mean a flying blanket."

"No," Vinnie- uh, I mean Vincent, interrupted crossly. "I mean a cloak. I can transform into a cloak."

The Turk before him just rolled his eyes and began to chug away at his beer again, seemingly satisfied with his very blunt answer. Vincent zealously thanked his luck, grateful that he just shut up.

"…You sure?"

Vincent felt the glass beginning to crack in his grip.


"…You sure you're sure?"


"Okay, then!"

Vincent nearly sighed in relief as the younger male turned his attention away from him and to the party around them.

Vincent closed his eyes again.

The sound of abrupt shuffling filled Vincent's sensitive ears as Reno spun wildly in his seat, and Vincent opened his eyes quickly enough to watch Reno's fiery locks to shift crazily on his head.

Reno smiled most charmingly in Vincent's direction. "…So, picture this, Vinnie. Say a guy like me wanted to be able to turn into say…a flying blankie at will. How, uh, would that guy go about doing such a thing…?"

Reno smiled nervously as he felt his brain melt in his skull as Vincent's crimson gaze burned holes in it.


"Just curious, y' know."


With a dramatic swish of his blank- I mean cloak, Vincent stood and quickly made his way to Seventh Heaven's exit.

And to this very day, Reno still hasn't discovered the awesome, super-secret power that is Vincent's flying blank- I mean, cloak.