A/n: for Quimmy (Quimbelork) I wonder if I need to point that out...


I think this sucks by the way. xD I hate writing anything under M sometimes

Pardon my French

He was taking French. What kind of useless language is that anyway? I mean, it's not like Spanish which 5.8 percent of our population speaks, and 3.9 speaking French. It's not a common language, so it shouldn't be popular. Unless, Kevin had some other reason for taking it.

The college had classes for everyone, and the French teacher, whose name I could never pronounce or spell in my life time of English. She was teaching Kevin some odd things, and he'd write phrases in little notes on the mirror before I'd take a shower, or the fridge, or just on a piece of clothing.

Simply they'd read: Je t'aime, C'est pour toi que je suis, J'veux etre avec toi, J'veux t'baiser, and so many more they were annoying as hell and I never even knew what they meant.

I watched the clock, green eyes peering over the white and gold marble frame. It was half past six which meant Kevin would be home in any minute. I finally wanted to have a decent conversation with him, that didn't involve French…

Such an annoying language. The language of "love," or so Kevin continuously told me.

The door opened, banging against the wall in an odd fashion. I hadn't been outside all day, but from what everyone was telling me it must have been cold and windy. It was only February, so should have been warming up.

"Kevin?" I called his name, as he hung up his scarf and coat on the coat hanger, and shut the door behind him as he kicked off his boots into the corner of the door.


I rolled my eyes, he spent all yesterday answering me in French. I figured he was just being obnoxious, but maybe there was more to it.

"Are you mad at me or something?"

He shook his head.

"Than why do you keep talking to me in French? Are you trying to make me suffer?"

"Non, Je t'aime."


"Mon amour pour toi est eternal."

I blinked. "what?" I crossed my arms. "Speak English!"

"Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir?" He smiled, trotting into the kitchen, opening the fridge while pulling out a drink.

"isn't that a song?" I followed him, eying him as he drank from the bottle.

"Oh, you do want to sleep with me. Alright."

"AH-HA!" I pointed. "You spoke English." I then pouted.

He moved back towards me, whispering in my ear. "On va chez toi ou chez moi?"

I blushed. I remembered when he first started learning these phrases, he had always asked me that question. I remembered it from all of the times I said no to it. And at the moment, I didn't want to go to his place, and he was already at mine…but wait…I didn't want to fucking sleep with him!

I stood there for the most part as Kevin moved from in front of me, and headed upstairs. Of course I followed him, I was getting fed up with his personality towards his, "French lessons." Next thing I knew he'd try to French kiss me

Kevin walked into my room and I followed, walking into nothing since I didn't notice him. He closed the door from behind and locked it with what was left of my doorknob.

My body turned after listless seconds.

"Enlève tes pantalons." He chuckled, snaking his arms around my waist and playing at the buttons.

I knocked him off. "No…no sex until you start speaking English."

"You're no fun, Ben…how'd you like it if I told you, no sex until you learned French." He moved from his position, laying down on my blue covers.

"Well, you shouldn't write all over the house in a language I don't understand. What have you been saying?"

"Oh, stuff like: faire la bête à deux dos?"

"Yes…" I sat on the end of the bed.

"I've been mainly saying I want to sleep with you, I want to have sex with you, I love, and now I want you to take off your pants so I can fuck you like an American man. Not a romantic French man, which we both know I'm not."

Kevin had lifted his arm, pulling me at the bed, rolling me over while he dragged his hand down to his buttons, undoing them.

"The French part?"

"Take off the pants, Benjy."