Respoken love

Pairing: Ren/Ichi

Sequel to: The day they met again

Warning: grammar, OOC-ness, yaoi

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: think of this as a present for Christmas, a really lame one. I'm not happy with the result, but I promised to write it and here it is. Please, forgive me.

Dedication: shiroiyuki3111

My last memory before the death of my soul is the sight of you, hovering above me. Of you looking down at me with heartbreaking sorrow. It had been the first time I saw you crying, tears emerging from your eyes and falling down on my face, staining my cheeks, or on my lips letting me taste them. Although sweet, not salty as they should be, they weren't the water of life, they couldn't save me.

I lost touch long minutes ago but still could clearly recall the warmth of your skin. That soft feeling lingered in my mind and was cherished by me very much as I couldn't feel you anymore. I could only acknowledge your hands cupping my face, your hair covering my face, your lips moving tenderly against mine.

Then all sound died – the silence ringing in y ears, in my heart. Resonating thorough my whole being and cutting me off from the world little by little.

Looking deep in your eyes I spoke the words that were always there inside me waiting for the right moment, but never really getting the chance to be heard by you. I said

"I love you"

but didn't really know if it reached you as I couldn't hear my own voice. I didn't know if my voice was still alive. But the look on your face, your eyes holding even more pain, tears falling even harder told me that you understood.

And in that very moment, when darkness came and slowly took away my eyesight threatening to finally close the curtains I saw your lips move hastily, uttering words destined only for me. Words, which I couldn't hear anymore. Which I didn't know if I understood well.

The last thing I saw before you vanished was fear. There was fear in your eyes as you weren't sure if your words reached me.

When darkness finally won I fell. Fell into nothingness. Minutes, hours, days – or more like a really long time, because I don't know if I could really measure how long it had been – passed and I still haven't reached the bottom. The thought of that state continuing for all eternity terrified me. It was such an unpleasant feeling. Well, you know, you can't see anymore, can't hear, can't feel for real like you do now. It's more like it's taking place inside you, in your heart and mind. As if you're held between movement and stillness.

At some point I forgot who I was, what's happening to me, everything, and that unsettled me even more as the fall continued. The fall never stopped and I begged to finally find myself on the ground even if it meant that my guts would assimilate with the ground.

And then, when I thought I loose it soon, when I was on brink of insanity, I felt a voice. Not heard it, but felt with my heart. It held my firmly stopping the fall and bringing me back from the edge. It gathered my memories together giving me my name back. I felt:

"I love you too. I love you. Love you. So much."

Resonating thorough me, filling me with warmth. The words you uttered before darkness took me away from you. They caught me and bind our souls together. And they brought me out of nothingness. Brought me back to life. To you.

Thorough the darkness of the night and under the bright blue sky, they held each other embracing the time they lost. They relished in their combined warmth seeping thorough their bodies, hearts beating together creating a single, loud heartbeat as if they became one. Their reiatsu danced wildly to finally mingle and unite them even more.

The world has been reduced to names and groans. Touch and taste. To limbs tangled together. Skin slick with sweat. Breath coming out in gasps. Air was heavy from the intensity of their actions. Of their respoken feelings.

Ichigo slid his eyes shut as they moved in perfect unison meeting each other's thrusts, getting closer and closer to the edge. He twisted grass in his right hand unable to stand the pleasure, his other hand on Renji's back, holding him close and drawing angry-red marks on his skin. Abarai reached down and freed the grass from his grasp and laced their fingers together making the teen open his eyes just to close them again when stars exploded and he climaxed loudly. Renji followed him seconds later screaming out his name.

They lay still for a while, letting their hearts calm down, their minds numb and thoughts incoherent from the pleasure. Bodies satisfied for now.

Kurosaki reached out and placed his hand just above the Redhead's heart and spoke in a silent voice.

- I can feel it, you know. I can feel how it struggles under my fingertips as if begging to release it. I can feel how it's reaching out to find mine, to be mine – the Pineapple looked at him lovingly and brought him up for a kiss. Then, as they parted, the teen's head deposited on his shoulder, he smirked.

- Well, that was mushy – he laughed earning himself a scowl. A hit landed on his arm. Renji just sent his Strawberry a sweet smile and cupped the teens face in his hands. – But it's pretty much the truth. I couldn't have said it better.

- You could. – the scowl vanished.

- What do you mean?

- Tell me. Tell me what couldn't reach me back then.

- Ok – he looked Ichigo in the eyes and held his gaze for a few seconds before finally saying – I love you.

His fingers combed through orange tresses as he lay there watching Ichigo as he slept snuggled close to his lover.

He thought about the painful year that passed, about the things Strawberry told him about the fall and soul-binding stuff, wondered how was it even possible for the teen to be here now in his arms, wearing a content smile.

But he decided that in the end the only thing that really mattered was that they were able to be together and that now nothing could tear them apart.

And that, from now on, he'll be able to say the words that he shoved back deep in his heart back then. To say them out loud over and over again. To release them from their shackles, to free them and let them reach his beloved one. Let them reach the person they couldn't reach before (well, not when he was alive).

And for what he had now, in his arms, he would respeak

"I love you"

again and again, as many times it would be needed. He'd live it thorough once more to reutter his love.