This chapter is dedicated to mrscullen321, Bubbles My Bubbles and kittykatt99!!!
Thank you for all the wonderful ideas!!
"Why?" she whispered. "Why, Alice? Why can't life be good for more than three days? Why does it always have to be ruined just when you think it can never go bad?"
I didn't have any answers, so I shook my head. I picked Bella up, and carried her to our bed. I sat her on the edge, and went to the dresser her father had given us as a gift. I opened a drawer and pulled out her favorite nighty, and tossed it to her.
"The only thing I can suggest, my dear, is sleep." Almost instantly, Bella yawned. "You don't have to be a physic to know you're tired. Today has been very long." Bella started undressing. God, she was so beautiful! I can't believe Edward didn't want to make love with her.
"Alice," he said time and time again, "I don't want to hurt her." I snorted. Idiot. Bella raised her eyebrow. I shook my head. I don't want her to have bad memories of Edward. Hell, I didn't. I sighed.
Bella was dressed in her night gown, and I couldn't help myself. I walked over to her and kissed her deeply. I pulled her on top of me, and she kissed eagerly back. My hands traveled down to her waist, and held her closer to me. We kissed until she pulled back for breath. I smiled. Success.
"What…was that… for?" I laughed.
"I love you, that's why!" She laughed loudly and rolled off me, onto her side of the bed.
"Works for me," she murmured and rolled over, so her back was facing me.
"Will you please roll over so I can see your beautiful face?" I'm sure Bella's face turned red as I said that. She rolled over, and her eyes searched my face. Why, I wondered. Maybe she thought that I'd leave her. As if. She half smiled, and her brown eyes melted like chocolate. I leaned over, and kissed my love's nose.
Her head fell to the pillow. "Mm-hmm," she mumbled. I smiled again. So cute.
**Two days later**
Bella was sleeping, and for that, I was grateful. She had been having nightmares lately. She never told me what they were about, just that she never wanted to go to the mall. She made me promise that I would never take her to the local mall. I love shopping, but I love her more. I will sacrifice that for her.
It was 2 AM, and in ten seconds, she was going to scream at the top of her lungs, because of her nightmare.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two- "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"
I was right there. I shook Bella. She sat up, tears in her eyes. She looked at me, I sat on the edge of the bed, she threw her arms around me and sobbed. I stroked her hair and made soothing noises.
"Shh, baby. It's okay. You never have to go shopping ever again." Bella sobbed quietly in my shirt. I'll have to get a new one…
Very soon, Bella fell asleep, once again. I laid down beside her, and played with her hair. She was talking in her sleep, something that I had adjusted to.
I began to hum. It was familiar, but yet, I didn't know what it was… I couldn't recall where I had heard it from. Where? Pictures of Jasper flooded my mind. Images of he and I at the café where we had met so many years ago. Ah. Now I know. It was the song that was playing the day we met.
My dead heart twisted in my chest. Yes, I love Bella, but I had Jasper as my lover for more than 50 years. These feelings weren't going away anytime soon. But I love Bella more, and that's all that matters.
I rolled over to face the computer. Its screensaver were pictures of Bella, the other Cullens and I.
Back when Bella was with Edward. A picture of Bella, with Edward around her waist. He had his lips to her ear, saying something that caused her to smile. Back before I fell in love with Bella. Another picture flashed across the screen. A picture of Jasper and I. We were shopping, and I had found the most ridiculous shoes. I, of course, had to take a picture of them. So I did. But first, I made Jasper hold them, and me standing beside him. His arm was wrapped around my waist. I was leaning on him.
Another picture. This one had Esme, Carlisle, Edward, Bella, Emmet, Rose, and then Jasper and I. Automatic cameras. What a miracle. But any whoop, it was back when we were all happy. Back when we were all heterosexual. Back when we were all happy. All of us.
One more picture. Jasper was kissing me. And I was kissing him back. I cried out in agony, and jumped up. I ran-walked to the computer, and shook the mouse.
I noticed that I had one unread Email. I sat down, more out of habit than anything. I clicked on the minimized browser. It slowly took up the whole screen. If I had been human, my heart would have been pounding.
I looked at the email. From Jasper Whitlock. I swallowed silently. I clicked on it.
My dearest Alice,
It's been a few years since we've seen each other. I can't believe I've actually gone this long without talking to you.
Everything in our old house was too much. The emotions of Esme were overwhelming. I had to get out of there, so I packed and left. I ran off to Alaska, where Tanya and the rest of the Denali clan gladly welcomed me.
But, there is something I must confess.
I still love you.
Jasper Whitlock, yours forever.
I stopped breathing. I stopped thinking. I couldn't. I didn't. Did I?
Did I still love him enough to leave Bella?