I really hope I did not lose any one because of my lateness. Please understand that my life has been really crazy and I appreciate all readers who understand :) Anywho:
WOOOT that Eclipse trailer IS FREAKEN AWESOME! okay that book was my favorite one since E and B were together the WHOLE time! AHHHHH June 30th can't come fast enough. Speaking of June the dreaded freshman year is almost over! Yayyyy! I can't wait till summer. I miss my friends and having a life ahahahah. Anyway does anyone watch "Glee"? Ummm can anyone say Jonathan FREAKEN Groff! I love him! Sorry got off the topic of Twilight and went to my other LOVE, musicals and breaking out into dance solos and high notes. Okay another apology because it took me so long to put this up. It is one of the hardest things to juggle homework, boys, and bitches. Yup I hate going to an all girls school. Way too much drama. Okay on to the story and once again not bated so it might not be that great.
Do not own. I wish I owned Edward. He is better then all the other guys out there..sigh...
Bella is alive and well. She has just been told by Edward what happened to her and how he was feeling as she was in the hospital.
Two Weeks Later
It has been two weeks since I woke up in the hospital and a lot has happened. Edward caught me up on all the things that happened when I was in the comma and what happened when he found me. He told me about Mike and Jess and I was surprised when he told me about him shooting them both, but I was not scared of him. I was proud of him. The only thing that made me scared was when he told me he that he thought about killing himself. He said that he was going to pull the trigger on himself. If he ever, ever did that, I would die too. I could never lose him or I would never be able to live with myself.
He kept on telling me how much he loved me and cared for me. He made me feel like I was the only girl in the whole world. I wanted him so bad when I woke up. I need him and I need him to show me that he loved me. But Edward being Edward would not give in. It hurt like a stab wound to the heart. But his kind, loving words made me know that he still loved me. He looked over the busies and cuts and loved me. It was too good to be true. After our little heart to heart, Alice came to the hospital. She was so happy to get her relationship wit Jasper off her chest. She wanted her brother to know who she loved, and that was Jasper. Edward left Alice and I to talk about girl stuff.
"Oh, Bella, I finally told him!" she sang with glee. "And Edward accepted it. I was so relived. I can finally love who I want to love!"
"I am so happy for you, Alice. Both of you." I really was. Alice and Jasper deserved to be happy and deserved to be with each other. They were a perfect fit. Alice was bubbly and outgoing and she brought that out of Jasper, who is shy and low key. "I am just sorry I forgot to tell him like you told me too."
"It is okay. I understand. You guys had your own stuff to deal with." I am lucky to have a best friend like Alice. Sure, I hate that she always wants to go shopping, but thats what makes Alice, Alice.
"Thanks, Alice. I'm really glad your my best friend."
"I am glad your my best friend." We embraced in a hug when I suddenly felt something wet on my shoulder. Was Alice crying?
"Al? Are you crying?" I asked pulling out of her grasp to get a good look at her.
She nodded wiping, "I am sorry. Its just...God what happened if I lost you! Your like a sister to me Bells! I love ya. So don't you ever do that to me again. Okay?"
Her little speech made me cry a little too. I love Alice like a sister too. She has been their for me just as much or if not more than Edward. She was the sister God forgot to give me. (I say that to my friend all the time. It is scary how much we are alike. Sorry back to it.) "I promise, Alice," I said with a smile and a tear in my eye.
"Okay now that we are done with the mushy stuff," We had to laugh at that. Neither of us like that stuff. "we need to get your little Eddie in here." She smiled and exited to through the door.
With in minutes, Edward was back and in my bed. I sighed and finally felt at peace. With all the craziness going on, it felt good to just stay still and be calm for a moment. This is, until my father gets here. When I go up Charlie was out for two weeks on a case in Seattle and I could not tell him to come home. He was helping people and to me that was more important then be with me. Well really I want some time with Edward before my father bombards me with questions. I wanted to stay in this spot forever and if forever was only two weeks, it was fine with me.
"What is it, love?" he responded with a kiss to my head.
"What's going to happen when I have to go back to school? People are bound to know what happened. It was on the news, in papers-"
"Bella, Bella baby be calm, please. It will be okay. We only have two months of school left if you want to be home schooled..." He paused and sighed when he saw my head shake. Home school? With the best months of school ahead? I don't think so. Plus Alice will never let me ditch prom, no matter what. "Then what do you want to do, Bella? Tell me. Let me help you."
I felt my eyes water, "I-I d-d-don't know." He held me tight to his chest. "Edward, I am scared."
"Oh baby, you have nothing to be afraid of, okay?" He put his hand on my chin and tried to bring my eyes up to met his. "Look at me. Let me see you big, beautiful brown eyes I love so much. " He pause, waiting. "Please." I reluctantly looked up at him. His green orbs locked with mine. "There's my girl." He smiled and stroked my cheek. "You will be fine."
I nodded. "As long as I have you."
"Forever." He laced his fingers into mine as a symbol of our unconditional love for each other. He kissed my hand and made all the fear go away. It was the truth, as long as I had him, I was happy, safe, at peace. Without him I was a goner. My eyes began to get tiered and all I wanted to do was sleep in the arms of my lover. My Edward. "Sleep love. I love you" Were the last words I heard before I let sleep take me away.
:) :( :P :D :O
"Bells. Kiddo. Please it's dad."
I rubbed my eyes since the hospital lights were too bright. "Daddy?" I whispered. Okay so I am a daddies girl. I missed my dad. I never thought I would find another man like my dad until Edward came along.
"Bella I thought I lost you," he cried while hugging me. My father usually is afraid to show his emotions, but in times like this my dad can cry like a girl. "Don't you ever do that to me again." He let go and sat on the bed.
I laughed that he and Alice said the same thing. "I promise dad. I am sorry."
He sighed. "When I got the call from Carlisle..." he shuddered, "I thought he was calling to say you were gone. When he told me you were okay I wanted to tell the officers that I had to get back. But Carlisle reassured me that you wanted me to stay and find the motherfucker who raped all those other girls. He said that you told him that I was doing the right thing. Really when I got the call that Seattle wanted my help I hesitated going because I did not want to leave you." I told Carlisle to make my dad stay and find the guy. If any other girls were raped like I was, I wanted the guy that did it to be found. It was like he was doing it for me. So no other girl would go through that, and for that I was grateful that my father did just that.
"I wanted he caught," I said in a small voice. "Did you ever find him?"
He just looked down. "The hunt was called off after those two weeks. We lost him. I am sorry, Bells."
"Dad, why are you apologizing to me? You did everything you could and I know you tried."
He nodded. "I know. I just wanted him off the streets."
"And he will be."
"I love you, kiddo."
"I love you too, dad"
He got up and kissed my forehead. My dad almost had a sixth sense when it came to me wanting to see Edward. He knew that in that moment I wanted Edward there with me. To hold me. My father walked out of the room and nodded to Edward almost to say You may enter. Edward got up and walked to me. Well he calls it walking, I call it running. He could sense that I did not want to talk, so he came to the bed and slipped under the covers with me. For a while we stayed like that. Edward did not sleep much, that I knew, so I let him sleep. He looked so peaceful. I kissed his nose and after he scrunched it up. It made me laugh. I put my head in the crook of his head. I breathed in his sent and was home.
:) :( :P :0 : / :]
Last night was the first night I actually slept. I was so emotionally drained from when Alice and Charlie came that once my head hit Edward's chest I was a goner. When I awoke, Edward was brushing the hair out of my face trying to watch me sleep. He had a huge smile on his face and whispered, "We are going home." At first I thought I miss heard him, but then he kissed me with such passion and love that I knew my time in this hospital was over. I would finally be in my own bed, maybe even with Edward.
I knew he thought that I only wanted to have sex because I wanted to prove my love to him, but I was really ready. I wanted it to be with Edward. With Mike dead, I was free from my past. I felt a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I wasted to have that spacial, real fist time with Edward. I knew that it was going to be filled with love, not anger. Edward is my knight in shinning armor. He was the man I never thought I would get. Now here he is kissing me, loving me. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.
After our mini make-out session, Edward helped me pack everything that was in the hospital room into my overnight bag that my dad brought from home. I received so many cards and stuffed animals, that I thought none of it was going to fit. Then I got out of that hideous hospital gown. I hated that thing. You were naked underneath and the thing never closed all the way! All I wanted to put on was my sweats and a big sweatshirt. Edward let me wear his Forks High School one. I loved it because it smelled just like him and had all of his warmth. When we were finally done, Carlisle signed my discharge papers and told me that he would be over around seven to check up on me.
Charlie aloud me to drive home with Edward since he had to work. I was going to be home alone with Edward for four hours, and I could not be happier. I wanted to be back with him and only him. We pulled up to the front of the house and sat for a while just looking at it. I felt like I have not been here in ages. It was like the first day back in Forks all over again. It was strange. "You okay? Edward asked.
"Yea, yea. I am fine. Its just...I feel like it has been forever since I was in my own house," I replied. I pulled the sleeves of Edward's hoodie over my hands.
"Well you are home now and your safe. Thats all that matters." He put his hands on my cheek and rubbed it with his thumb. "You want to go in."
Edward got out and walked around to open my door. He got my overnight bag out of the trunk and put his arms around me. Once we got to the door, I pulled my key out. My hand was shaking as I tried to put it in the lock. Was I really this scared to open my own door? Will I ever be okay after this? I didn't know and I didn't care as long as I had Edward. I pushed open the door and looked around.
Same I thought. Everything was the same. Nothing changed, nothing was altered. I let out a breath and started upstairs. My room was like the rest of the house. I looked like I was never gone. My clothes were still scattered, my bed unmade, and my computer was probably still on NYU's website. I was looking at it when Alice called me to go out. The night I was taken. I always wanted to go to school there because of they are one of the best in writing. Who knows what college I will go to know. Who wants a girl who got raped with suicidal tenancies? Not NYU.
Sighing, I took the bag from Edward and put it on my bed and began to unpack. "Do want help?" he asked.
"Sure." He took somethings from my bag and sorted them out. Edward knows how I put my clothes away. I put pj's in one area on the bed, then shirts, then pants, and then things I hang up. I liked things to be in their place. When the sorting was done, I began to put the clothes away. We did all of this in erie silence. I wanted to talk, I waned to say something, anything! But no sound would come out. Finished, I stood still looking at Edward. Should I make a move now? Will he turn away? Does he want it too? So many questions and so little answers. I decided to go for it. I walked to him slowly and bent down to kiss him. The kiss soon became fun of lust and need. Edward put me on top of him and rolled us over so he was above me.
His tongue then asked for entrance and I was happy to oblige. Our tongues fought for dominance, but I let him win. His hand started to wonder up my shirt to my bra. He broke our kiss to breath and to take the shirt off. Then his lips were back on mine. I missed this. This genuine love he has for me no matter what. It is one of the many reasons why I love him. We kissed for what seemed like hours, but I wanted to feel him. Skin on skin. I put my hands under his shirt and pulled it up. Once again we broke the kiss for only to seconds and then it was back to tasting my sweet Edward.
Edward was sweet. Sweeter then candy. His taste was a mixture between peppermint and cool vanilla. If they ever made a gum in that flavor I would by 100 boxes. I could never get enough of it. Our skin was touching and it felt amazing. He warmed me up. He then slid his whole body down the length of mine to get to my sweet spot. He pushed my underwear to the side and put in his two fingers. He slid on up and down my slit while I moaned his name. God, did I ever mention how much I love his fingers? He took the fingers out of my underwear and into his mouth and moaned. I wanted him right then. I pulled his face up to mine and kissed him hungrily. I could still taste me on his lips and that combination made me moan in his mouth.
He kissed down the side of my neck to my breasts. It felt so good. I missed this. His touch. His kiss. This felt right. He paid special attention to my breast, but when he was done I flipped him over. He need some attention now. I kissed him all over. I was not satisfied with just his mouth. I wanted all of him. I needed all of him. I kissed his whole body. Up and down, left and right. I kissed everybody part. I wanted to show him how much I love him. When I got to his holy grail I kissed the top and looked up at Edward. His eyes had warning in it. He was asking me if I really wanted this. "I love you," I whispered and then took him.
I heard him moan my name again and again. I loved how he said my name. He did not just say it in pleasure, but love. I sucked harder and faster; swirled my tongue around him and then he came undone. I took in every drop. When I was finished, I kissed his lips and did not want to come up for air. "God I love you," he said and then switched positions on me. He hovered over me and asked, "You positive about thins."
"I love you so much Isabella Swan," and with that I was whole. This time nothing hurt. I was crying but not tears of pain or fear but unconditional love for the man above me. Edward was gentle moving in and out slowly. A little too slow. I begged him to quicken the pace. He struggled with himself on whether or not he should do it. So I had to take matters into my own hands. When he pushed into me again, I moved my hips upward to meet his thrusts. Even though that feeling was amazing, I wanted Edward to let loose. I knew he was scared that if he went to fast I would remember everything. But this was about me and Edward and only me and Edward.
"Please, Edward. I am s-so close. Let g-g-go," I trembled.
"Fuck it," he whispered and pounded away. The feeling was incredible. Every thrust, every moan was magical. I wished that this was my first time, but you can't change the past only look ahead to the future. And hopefully more of this is in my future. It only took a few thrust for me to come. My body was shaking uncontrollably and I felt as if I ran a marathon. Edward came soon after and now all I wanted now was to sleep with my man.
"Thank you" kiss "thank you" kiss "thank you," I told him. I do not think he knows how much this meant to me.
"It was my pleasure," he whispered on my lips. "I am so proud of you. You go through hell and even though all that happened, you are still strong enough to do that. You amaze me." His big green eyes were looking right at me, and in that moment I want to redo the whole night.
"Edward, the only reason why I am so strong is because of you. To have you love me like that and not care about the crap I went though, that is what keeps me going. Your love is why I am still breathing."
He paused and looked at the ceiling contemplating something. He then go up and when to his jacket. For a second I thought he was leaving, but relief came over me when I saw that he pulled out a CD and went over to my stereo. "I wrote this for you when you were in the hospital. I want to play it for you to show you how much you mean to me. When I thought about you, this is what came out. This beautiful melody that had your strength but also your vulnerability. This is you in song," he laughed. "Its called Bella's Lullaby." He presses play and walked back over to me.
The song was beautiful and know that Edward wrote it made it even more beautiful. I closed my eyes and pictured him siting on that piano bench pounding out these notes for me. Even threw closed eyes, I could not escape my tears. I slipped into Edward's strong arms, being pulled away by his love. A love I never understood. Even when he kissed Jessica, I knew he never did it, but I felt that she was what he deserved. Not me. Hearing this, this wonderful song for me, about me, made me feel special and deserving of him. When the song ended with a big finish, I could hardly stop the tears. "Edward, that was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard in my life. Thank you." I kissed him not ever wanting to let go.
"You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen and your voice could not compete with that song. Every time I hear your voice, I get this butterfly in my stomach that won't go away. No matter how long I have been around you, I don't think it will ever go away." He brought my writ up to his mouth and kissed my cuts again. "I need you to keep breathing. Forever."
Wow that is long :) yayyyyyy for fluff! REVIEW! PLEASE!