Disclaimer: I do not own these characters and make no profit from this story.

"Love your enemy. It'll scare the hell out of him."

Mark Twain

"Before the drow could figure out the game, Entreri spat a mouthful of filthy sewer water into his lavender eyes...The sting and shock of the water broke Drizzt's concentration, and his strength, for only a split second, but he knew that even a split second was too long against Artemis Entreri."

R. A. Salvatore, The Halfling's Gem


In that moment even Drizzt was convinced he was about to die, but the drow's next actions surprised even him.

He leaned in and kissed his enemy.

Whether it lasted for a second or an hour Drizzt wasn't sure. In the back of his mind he noticed that the assassin's lips tasted like the sewer water, but had another, more pleasant taste behind the water. It was like peanut butter, Drizzt decided before turning his attention back to the rather more interesting task of kissing his very surprised adversary.

Noticing that Entreri wasn't kissing back, or reacting at all, Drizzt dropped his scimitars, letting his hands wander down…

This seemed to shock the assassin out of his paralysis. He disengaged himself from the drow, stumbling backward until he tripped, falling backward with a splash.

The noise of the splash woke up Catti-Brie, who, like the rest of the companions, had stood watching in quiet shock as they watched their friend lock lips with Artemis Entreri. Realizing this, she fumbled with her bow, aiming for the assassin.

Drizzt watched quietly as Entreri stood up again and continued backing away. Despite that he obviously had a target destination this time –a nearby tunnel– Drizzt did nothing but grin at Entreri the one time the assassin hesitated in fleeing.

When he was gone, instead of giving chase, Drizzt looked at Catti-Brie, who had just gotten an arrow out and ready.

"What?" he asked innocently.


Artemis Entreri shivered as he watched the sun set over the desert, taking with it the last vestiges of heat in the city.

Entreri had been laying low in the past several weeks since the Pook guild fell. He had at first considered following the drow north and killing him, but the memory of what had happened in the sewers had changed his mind about that particular course of action.

It wasn't that the assassin had anything against two males kissing each other. But being kissed by someone he was trying to kill was…different. In a bad way. Sane people did not try to kiss people trying to kill them!

Entreri's hand went to his dagger as he saw a dimensional portal open a few feet away from him. He jumped when a dark elf emerged, but calmed down when he realized that it wasn't Drizzt.

Relax, he told himself, dark elves aren't that uncommon. He probably wants to hire me for a job. If nothing else he will at least be more normal than Do'Urden.

"Hello!" said the drow enthusiastically, "My name is Jarlaxle of Bregan D'aerthe, and I have a business proposition for you…"


Author's note: While I am a fan of Entreri, he is very fun to creep out. And yes, I was attempting to make fun of all the "Drizzt and Entreri are fighting and spontaneously have sex" fics. More than anything, I was inspired by the Mark Twain quote, which can be seen at the top of the page.

I'm not sure if Drizzt is OOC or not. Remember that whole scene with the giants in The Crystal Shard? I can definitely see that Drizzt kissing his opponent in the middle of a fight to freak them out.

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