"I play along with the charade…" Edward sang along, Rick Springfield style as he listened to his ipod, moving the vacuum cleaner back and forth with a graceful swirl of his arm, "That doesn't seem to give them reason to change…"
"You know I feel so DIRTY when they start talking cute, I wanna tell her that I love her but the point is probably mute…" he sang louder, snarling the angry words as he saw the sun was starting to rise outside the glass walls around him, the once dark trees now showing some color.
"SHUT UP !" Emmett shouted again but Edward ignored him, as he had all night long while he cleaned the place up.
Rosalie laughed upstairs while Edward kept singing, "Cause she watching him with those eyyyyeesss…and she's loving him with that BODY I just know it…and she's holding him in her arms real late at night…YOU KNOW I WISH THAT I HAD JESSIE'S GIRL !!" Edward played the vacuum like a guitar, gyrating his hips hard, almost hearing the girls screaming in the audience.
"He's just doing it to get a rise out of you, Emmett…ignore him." Rosalie purred in Edward's mind as she spoke to her irritated lover upstairs, trying to get him back in the mood.
Edward smirked, then remembered the only comment Emmett had made to him at 3 am that really stung.
You are an OCD freak and ANAL, Edward, go get laid, please, by anyone, I beg of you !
Edward was still bothered by that insult. He was not suffering from OCD…and he certainly wasn't ANAL.
Oh, wait, I'm making the vacuum tracks in the rug go diagonal, that's disgusting…they should be long and straight, Edward thought, correcting that instantly.
He heard Rosalie and Emmett kissing again, harder, trying to tune Edward out.
God, it's 5:56 am on a Sunday morning…Edward grimaced, do they really have to do it ALL THE TIME ?
Partly, Rosalie was right. Edward was trying to get on Emmett's nerves on purpose because he'd once again made love to Rosalie in the back seat of his Volvo. They tried to deny it but the scents were all there, almost erasing Bella's smell completely.
"Why is he even HERE ?!" Emmett roared out loud, "Why isn't he holding Bella all night, wishing he had the SACK to make a move ?!"
In a flash, Edward was at the top of the stairs, opening the door and poking his head in, keeping his eyes downcast.
"If you must know, Bella's aunt is staying over her house this weekend and she's sleeping in Bella's room with her." Edward informed politely, not wanting it to get around that Bella didn't want him with her at night anymore.
"WHO CARES ?!" Emmett shrieked louder now, adding, "GET OUTTA HERE!!"
Edward almost made it out, about to close the door when a lamp came flying at his head, smashing loudly against his face and landing in a pile of glass to the floor.
"Oh, you know…." Edward almost whined, "You're only hurting yourself, you know…now I have to clean this up, too."
In seconds, Emmett could hear the clinking of broken glass and porcelain as Edward began to clean up right outside his bedroom door, going extra slow on purpose.
Rosalie was kissing Emmett's mouth, trying to make him ignore the noise, but then the vacuum cleaner started again, right outside the door, making it's annoying hum going slowly back and forth, making clinking sounds as the splinters of glass were sucked up into the machine, and banging the door unceremoniously with each motion.
It was all over when Emmett heard Edward snicker.
"That's it !" Emmett leapt up with his super vampire stealth and smashed the door down hard, shoving it on top of Edward and his vacuum cleaner, holding it down tight to the floor.
"You wanna clean, Edward ?!" Emmett growled, enraged as he felt Edward's squirming body kicking and struggling under the door, the vacuum cleaner still humming beside him, "I'll help you clean !!"
Rosalie stood up, watching them from inside the bedroom with her black and red teddy still on, folding her arms impatiently, always in the mood to see arrogant Edward get his ass kicked.
"GET OFF ME !" Edward snarled in defiance, unable to free himself under Emmett's hard trap.
"Let's go clean, little brother !" Emmett grabbed the door off Edward and took the vacuum cleaner, slamming it down hard onto Edward's chest, driving it up and down over his body and face, anger blazing in both their eyes.
Edward pulled away finally, the vacuum sucking up his shirt and tearing it off his body, much to his surprise. Wow, Edward thought, it really does have great suction.
Taking a huge leap down the stairs, Edward only wore his jeans now, his feet bare, as Emmett followed, hungry for more payback.
"We're not done yet, Eddie!" Emmett was near the table that had all the cleaning products on it that Edward had been using. The closest thing, Windex, was what Emmett grabbed and started spraying it into Edward's eyes while Emmett grabbed Edward's spiky hair back tight.
It didn't hurt him, but it was pissing him off. He'd stink like Windex now when Bella came over later, and it was wetting his hair, too.
"Two can play at that game." Edward grunted, grabbing the Clorox and hurling the thick heavy green powder into his brother's face. Edward laughed out loud as it completely covered every feature of Emmett's still face, until he opened his eyes, glaring now.
"I've had it with these two." Esme's voice was speaking now, to Carlisle, in her bedroom as her door slammed open.
"UH OH" Edward wanted to run but Emmett wasn't finished yet, throwing himself into Edward hard, making them both hit the floor at the bottom of the stairs. They slid a few feet further, as the marble floors had just been waxed by Edward.
"Esme's coming!" Edward warned his brother but Emmett landed three good punches into his brother's stomach.
"Mama's boy !" Emmett frowned, powder shaking off his head with each word and punch, "SAY you're done cleaning, SAY IT ! SAY IT YOU LITTLE SISSY BOY HOUSEKEEPER !!"
"Emmett !" Esme stared down, watching the last couple seconds, frowning hard at the large bully on top of her sweet defenseless Edward.
"Esme !" Emmett looked at her, about to explain but she cut him off fast.
"What are you doing to Edward ?!" she shouted, Carlisle coming up behind her.
"Just punching me in the stomach." Edward groaned, his back to the floor.
"Get off him NOW !" Esme demanded, watching Emmett move, standing up. Esme went to Edward, helping him to his feet.
"Are you alright, Edward?" she asked sweetly, smelling the windex on his face as he cringed slightly.
"I think so." He replied quietly.
"What started this ?" Carlisle asked, not really caring to hear the full answer.
They both began to speak at the same time.
Edward was saying, "I was just cleaning up and then HE –"
Emmett was saying, "I'm trying to have a nice quiet Sunday morning and HE was---"
"STOP" Esme shouted, silencing them both.
"Edward, go ahead." Esme turned to her bronze haired son, asking for his side first, Emmett frowning and looking unjustly treated.
"I was just cleaning, Bella is coming over today, and he for no reason, came barreling out of his room and ATTACKED me !" Edward claimed, pure innocence painted on his face, " HE vacuumed me ! And it sucked up my shirt ! Then he started punching me in the stomach – AND he sprayed windex in my face !"
"LIES!" Emmett chimed in loudly, "Esme, I was trying to—"
"Have sex with Rosalie – AGAIN !" Edward finished his sentence, rolling his eyes as Esme looked at him with sympathy.
"Seriously, Esme, is it MY fault that I was trying to do something nice for my family and my home and it just happened to interrupt the sex-o-lympics going on in Emmett's room ?" Edward kept pleading his case.
"Oh, God, can anyone else hear the violins ?" Emmett scoffed.
"Emmett." Esme turned to him, glaring, "You will clean up this mess, then you will keep your hands off Rosalie for the next 24 hours."
"Ohh, good one." Carlisle laughed softly, getting a grin from his wife.
"THAT'S NOT FAIR !" Emmett shouted, looking at Edward who smiled back at him like a little boy, blinking his eyes innocently in mockery.
"You always believe anything EDWARD says and I get treated like a criminal ALL THE TIME !" Emmett shouted.
"That's not true !" Esme spat back her response to her larger son.
"Esme, I think I should go wash up, the windex smell is making me feel sick." Edward said tenderly, knowing how much this interaction with Esme pissed Emmett off. Esme had a special place in her heart for Edward, him being her first vampire son after she lost her own child. He was her favorite and everyone knew it, but it drove Emmett insane.
"You go ahead, baby." Esme smiled at him, giving him a sad, worried look as he went up to the bathroom. Emmett watched him go and, without anyone else seeing, Edward made a kissing motion with his lips back down at his brother, smiling happily as he once again got away with it.
"Dead man." Emmett vowed to get even with Edward if it was the last thing he did. Edward's one weak spot was Bella. But he didn't want to hurt or embarrass Bella. He loved her like she was his own little sister already. He'd have to think about this for awhile first. Maybe he could get Bella in on the revenge.
Bella was knocking on the door at 7 am, very lightly knocking when Edward ran down to open it.
"Bella, why are you knocking so quietly ?" Edward smiled, "I almost didn't hear you, good thing I can smell you."
"It's early." She winced, "And a Sunday."
"No one sleeps here, Bella." Edward reminded, closing the door as she came in, feeling his warm sweater arms enfold around her, his lips gently kissing hers, three tiny little kisses. Then he put his forehead against hers and whispered, "I hate going all night without you. Is your aunt leaving today ?"
"I'm not sure, hopefully." Bella closed her eyes, "I felt so alone, sleeping without you. I hated it. And my aunt SNORES."
Edward laughed, taking her by the hand and leading her into the house.
"You didn't eat yet this morning." Edward raised a brow, knowing, leading her to the kitchen up the stairs.
"How do you know?"
"I can hear the tummy gurgling." He smirked, sitting her down at the table, kissing the top of her head, "What can I make you for breakfast?"
"I just want some cereal." She said, "Nothing big."
Bella knew that Edward had stocked up the kitchen with food that Bella liked, he even made her write a list once.
"I want to make you something better." Edward began, going to take out some pans.
"Edward, really, I'm in the mood for Cocoa Puffs." She admitted, knowing that was in the pantry.
Edward made a face, "That hard round kibble in the box ?"
"It's good !" she smiled, watching him go get it, taking a bowl out of the cabinet.
"Ukkk." Edward watched as she poured the brown pebbles into her bowl.
"I need milk too." She said, "And a spoon."
Edward came back, sitting and placing the spoon and milk on the table near her, staring at her while she poured the milk in, mushing it up a bit with the spoon.
His face wore a disgusted expression as she took a huge spoonful of it and stuck it in her mouth, chewing it up happily, smiling at him.
Shuddering, he breathed, "Eeeeuuuuukkkkkk"
"It looks like dog feces." He muttered, inhaling, "And it doesn't smell that great, either."
"Hey, don't say feces while I'm eating please." She frowned.
"What's that ?" Bella asked, seeing a large black jar on the table.
"I don't know." Edward took the lid off, peeking in, "Oooh, cookies."
"Oohhh!' Bella's eyes lit up as Edward grinned, loving it when she acted like a little girl.
"If you're good you can have one." He took one out, double chocolate chip, nice, Esme must've made them for Bella earlier after the Emmett incident.
"I'm always good." Bella smiled sexily, biting her bottom lip mischeviously.
"Bad." Edward felt his body warm in places he thought he'd long forgotten, "That right there, was a bad girl, trying to make me…"
"What ?" Bella teased, "Hot ? weak ? horny ?"
"You're not getting this cookie now." Edward pointed a finger at her, raising a brow seductively, "You can beg me all night and you won't get it."
"That'll be a new experience for me." She said in sarcasm, laughing at the look Edward got then.
"Ooh, you little vixen !" Edward stood up, making her chase him, trying to get the cookie out of his hand.
"NO!" Edward laughed as she reached for it but he held it up, tickling her ribs and making her scream out as he laid her back to the island in the middle of the kitchen, not wanting her to fall backwards.
"Say you're sorry." Edward tickled more as her long beautiful hair thrashed with her body, half covering her laughing face. The bulge in Edward's jeans began to grow slightly but he tried to ignore it.
"NO" she laughed.
"Say you're sorry to me…." Edward tickled more, biting his bottom lip, determined to get the apology, "Say I'm sorry Edward, you're right and I'm wrong."
"NO !" she shrieked louder, "Stop, Edward, I'm gonna PEE !!"
Laughing harder now, Edward didn't stop.
"Then you'd better say it, Bella." Edward advised, "How humiliating will it be if I have to tell Esme you need a new pair of underwear and jeans because you urinated on her kitchen floor?"
"BASTARD !!" she screamed, "ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT ! I'm wrong, you're right !"
"And?" he waited, tickling under her arms, making her howl out.
"I'M SORRY ! I'm sorry !!" she squealed, gasping for air.
"Good girl." He smiled down at her as she caught her breath, the tickling stopped but his hands still pinned her down to the surface she laid on.
"Are you sure you're not a dom ?" she wisecracked, but, thankfully, he didn't reply, probably not knowing what a dom was. Bella had seen a gross movie once about S & M, a dom being a dominant, the master, the sub was the submissive, the slave.
Edward had the cookie and placed one end in his mouth, smiling wickedly down at her, offering her the other half, bringing it closer to her mouth, his hands encoiling her wrists over her head.
Smiling, so aroused now, she licked her tongue along the edge, surprising his eyes again. His groan and blinking eyes said it all. She got to him again.
Smiling more, she bit her teeth deep into the warm cookie, laying back and chewing it as she stared up into his lusting golden eyes.
"Bella, you're so bad…" Edward mumbled, the half cookie still in his mouth as she swallowed her bite. Suddenly her body felt hot…too hot…it jerked a little as she gasped, seeing Edward's eyes above her, squinting in confusion. Then, in a half second, she was looking down upon herself, the cookie in her teeth. Only now it tasted dry, not warm, and had no flavor at all. And more than that, her body felt so still, so hard and strong all of a sudden. There was no more gurgling stomach, no need to blink, no desire to breathe every second…no pulse and no heartbeat, either.
The whole thing took two seconds but she was looking down at herself, a terrified look in her eyes, laying on the wooden island, staring back up at her. She looked and saw that she was holding her own wrists above her head. Bella looked at her hands, only they weren't her hands. They were Edward's white hands, the long slender fingers she would know in a second. She let go of the Bella she was looking down at and moved her hand to her mouth, taking out the offensive thing there, staring at the cookie, baffled.
For a few seconds, she couldn't find her voice and said, "Edward?" Only when she'd said that, it was a man's voice that spoke…Edward's velvety voice. She felt herself grab her own throat, staring down at the terrified Bella on the island.
The Bella below gasped and sat up slightly, daring to speak, looking up at her and said, "Bella?" Then she clasped a hand hard over her mouth, her eyes wider, afraid.
"What the hell---" Bella uttered, hearing Edward's voice saying the words as she caught her reflection in the glass microwave oven door at her side. She dropped her mouth open, walking over to it…staring back at Edward's perfect face.
"Oh my God." She spoke again, touching her face, seeing the reflection stroking Edward's cheek. Again, she had Edward's voice.
If she was in here…then…she looked over at the Bella sitting up on the island now, staring at her hands, trembling.
Edward must be in me, then, Bella realized, looking at the scared looking Bella before her.
"Edward, are you in there?" she asked, liking Edward's voice saying her words.
"Yes." Bella's little voice said as Edward replied and he clasped a hand over his mouth again, surprised that it hurt his face when he did that, "Ow…" he winced.
"How did this happen?" Bella asked, walking in Edward's body to a mirror in the hall, getting a better look, the little Bella Edward was trapped in, following fast, sliding a bit on the newly waxed wooden floor. He would've fallen if Bella didn't catch him at the last second.
"Careful." Bella said, helping Edward up slowly, letting him see his new reflection in the mirror, seeing Bella's face.
"It looks like you've inherited my clumsiness, too." Bella said in her new masculine voice, liking it more and more every time she spoke, to her surprise, "Did you see that Edward? I caught you ! I loved that ! Everything was so easy, I just didn't think about it and I moved like a superhero."
Smiling widely, she looked in the mirror, beaming at Edward's happy face looking back at her.
"I'm glad you're having fun." Edward grumbled inside of Bella's body, "How did this happen?"
"I don't know…" Bella answered, thinking about it, then they both shouted, at the same time, "THE COOKIE !"
"Where is it ?" Bella's body looked around and Edward's body looked down in his hand, saying, "I've got the other half.", handing the uneaten half to little Bella.
"The jar." Edward said, picking the jar up in one arm and charging past the image of himself looking back at him and hurried into the living room, shouting with his little girl voice, "ESME ! CARLISLE !"
"You're going to scare them, screaming their names with my voice." Bella said, looking cool and confident inside her new vampire Edward body, crossing her arms, raising her brow, enjoying being Edward.
Edward sneered back at her. Is that what I look like when I'm trying to act calm ? How does she stay with me ?
"Edward, calm down." Bella said in her man voice, trying to put her hands on his shoulders, "Shhhh."
"Hey, I'm not the woman in this relationship!" Edward flinched away, seeing his parents come rushing down the stairs, along with everyone else in the house. Suddenly, Edward felt humiliated, short, and frail.
"Bella, what's wrong, dear ?" Esme put a hand on her shoulder, a concerned look in her eyes.
"It's ME, Mom, EDWARD." He informed, holding up the jar in his other hand, "Did you make any cookies today ?"
"No." she looked lost, "What do you mean, it's Edward?"
Bella spoke up from inside Edward's calm exterior and said, "It seems Edward and I have switched bodies after I ate a bite of this cookie. This jar was filled with cookies on the kitchen table."
"How are you so calm about this ?" Edward asked Bella, staring at his smug face.
"I don't know." Bella smirked a little, "It's like…I'm so calm. I don't feel worried at all, about anything. Maybe that's because I'm a vampire now ?"
"You're not a vampire now." Edward informed, then saw Jasper standing there, "JASPER !"
"Yes, Bella ?" he asked, alert, coming closer.
"Don't give me that, you know I'm Edward." Bella's voice snarled, "You did this, that's why Bella is so calm and I'm SO NUTS ! You're playing with out emotions AND our BODIES !"
"I didn't do it, Edward, I swear." Jasper tried to hide a grin, seeing the rage in Bella's eyes, "I'm just trying to keep things calm with Bella, that's all."
"AND what about ME ?!" Edward screamed in his girl body, "Why am I so ENRAGED?!"
"Okay, I'll stop that part of it." Jasper agreed, "I knew that was wrong."
"Damn it, Jasper." Emmett growled in disappointment as Edward found himself losing the anger inside him. It cleared his head instantly.
"Emmett did it." Bella said from Edward's body, "I actually just read his mind. That WAS SO COOL ! Payback's a bitch, he just thought to you."
"Oh so that's it." Edward was calmer now but still angry, coming up to his larger brother in the little body he was trapped in now. Emmett nearly laughed, seeing this little human girl prowling up to him, as if she had a chance.
"Don't do it, little girl." Emmett warned, "You're human now and you'll just hurt Bella if you try to hit me or anything."
"He's right." Carlisle said, blocking Edward's path to Emmett, "Calm down Edward."
"He is not just paying me back with this little stunt, he's put Bella in danger now, too." Edward informed his father.
"I'm fine." Bella shrugged, happy in Edward's skin.
Edward's personality and expression could be seen clearly through Bella's skin as he walked over to her, almost whispering, "Thirsty, Bella ?"
The rest of them jumped suddenly, realizing what this could mean to Bella and Edward. Bella was inside a vampire's body and without any experience in resisting human blood. And Bella's blood, in Edward now, was singing to her.
Carlisle leapt forward, grabbing Bella's body that contained Edward and moved her away from Edward's body.
"What?" Bella asked, not understanding what was going on.
"Edward can hardly control himself with your scent, Bella." Carlisle informed, "Are you feeling that at all? Do you smell…Edward's blood?"
"I can smell everything." Bella informed, "But I'm fine. I have no desire to drink blood or anything."
"That's my doing." Jasper admitted to Carlisle, "I'm keeping her so calm she is not thirsting for it right now. Emmett asked me to do that right away so there'd be no danger."
"Let go of me Carlisle." Edward said calmly with a frown, hating it that he was so weak now.
"Let's just all sit down and relax and figure this out." Carlisle made his family go into the kitchen, they all sat down as Edward sat in the chair Bella had been in before, shoving the bowl of Cocoa Puffs away from him.
"What did you do Emmett?" Carlisle asked in a serious tone to his large son beside him.
"Tanya gave me the recipe a long time ago." Emmett admitted, getting a death stare from Bella's face (Edward being in there).
"It's a vampire prank, nothing that serious." Emmett informed further, "It just makes vampire switch bodies, that's all."
"Only now there's a human involved." Carlisle pointed out.
"Didn't you for one moment think of Bella?!" Edward shouted, standing up in his girl body, "What if there was something dangerous in there that could've KILLED HER !"
"I did think of Bella!" Emmett frowned, looking at her in Edward's sad face, saying, "I called Tanya and asked her. She said it wouldn't hurt Bella at all."
Edward pounded the table hard, hurting his mortal hand, "Tanya will say anything she has to – she is jealous of Bella ! She wanted me and probably still does! Do you think she CARES about Bella's life at all ?!"
Emmett looked around, the rest of them all silent. He looked at Edward's body, seeing his face fall into his hands sadly, knowing Bella was upset now.
"I'm sorry." Emmett said softly, looking down at the table.
"That makes it all okay, then, doesn't it?" Edward seethed inside Bella's body.
"How long does this last?" Edward continued, not getting answers from Emmett, "Do you just eat another cookie to switch back or will that do more damage ? Will it harm Bella's body, me being in it ? Hello ?"
"I don't know." Emmett said simply, and Edward wanted to tear his head off.
"You. Don't. KNOW ?!" Edward roared as loud as he could from Bella's body.
"Calm down Edward." Alice suggested, "We can call Tanya and find out what to do next."
"AND YOU !" Edward noticed Alice now, hollering at her, "Where the hell were YOU ?! Aren't you the pixie who sees the future ?!"
"I don't see anything bad happening, Edward." Alice smirked, "Just…funny. I thought it would be okay to let Emmett have his little joke on you."
"ON US !" Edward grabbed Bella by his sweater and tried to yank her over near him, but she was too strong. She was like a statue there beside him.
"Bella doesn't mind this." Alice noticed, "You like it in there, don't you?"
"Yea." She smiled so brightly that Edward hated the sight of his own smile staring back at him. His golden eyes nearly sparkled in their happiness.
"No, Bella, it's not a game." Edward looked at her and saw her through his own eyes, "It might be fun for a little while, but you could hurt someone…accidentally. How are you going to go home with your aunt and father there now?"
She looked deep in thought suddenly. She hadn't considered that.
"How could you be so irresponsible, Emmett?" Carlisle asked a little harshly, "Let's go, follow me to my office now. We're calling Tanya and finding out what to do next. Give me that cookie jar. No one touches these until I decide what's going on."
They left, Esme and Rosalie following on their heels. Alice and Jasper stared at the two of them with sorry looks on their faces, knowing this was a prank that got out of hand.
"Can I have a minute alone with Edward, guys ?" Bella said from the interior of Edward's beautiful face.
"Sure." Alice smiled, "Let's go, Jazz."
They left quickly, not wanting any more of Edward's wrath. His angry eyes followed them out the door, silently.
"I'm so sorry about my family." Edward began, almost shaking in his anger, making Bella's fists turn dark red. He saw this and stopped himself, not wanting to injure her body.
Then he thought, blood, that's what was dark red in his fists…what would stop him now from drinking the blood when it was right inside his hands? Then he felt it…there was no thirst. He swallowed, feeling the inner workings of his body for the first time in nearly 100 years. In his anger and concern for Bella, he failed to realize….
"Oh my God." Edward's voice breathed as Bella stared back at him, looking worried.
"Are you alright?" she asked, touching his hand, sending an ice cold shiver through his warm hand.
"AAAAhhhh !" he leapt back a second, saying, "Cold !"
Giggling, Bella's white face stared back at him, mumbling, "I know."
"But I never mind." She added quickly, "I love your touch."
"Too good for me." He muttered, letting himself smile back at his own face.
"I don't feel the thirst anymore…and I can feel my heart beating." Edward shared with her, pressing his palm against his own chest, and Bella hugged him gently, kissing his forehead. She held him gently, feeling his body shivering.
When she sat back a second, about to speak to him again, he had tears in his eyes.
"Oh, Edward…" she smiled more, stroking his cheek, "You're crying…don't cry."
Laughing, Edward moved his fingers along his eyelids, seeing the wet salty tears there on his fingertips.
"No, this is good." Edward informed, "These are happy tears. I haven't felt this wonderful….in almost a century. You don't know…how great this feels to me."
"I'm glad." She smiled back at him, wishing she could cry some tears. She would've…if she were in her own body. Something in her felt sad about that.
"Bella…" Edward snapped out of it suddenly, asking, "How are you? How do YOU feel…in there?"
"Um..fine." she tried to answer honestly, "But, it's weird. It's like…"
"I know." Edward didn't need her to put it into words, "I told you what it was like, being me. Maybe it's good this happened. Now maybe you'll see how empty it is…being a vampire. Being….dead."
"That's not what I was going to say." Bella argued, "You're not ruining this for me, Edward. I like the way I feel."
"You don't have the thirst, you're lucky there." Edward informed, hearing his stomach growl and twist in his gut.
Giggling, Bella stared at him with his face and said, "Time to feed the human."
And then she shoved the bowl of Cocoa Puffs towards him, putting a fist to her cheek, leaning on it and watching.
"You've got to be joking." Edward stared back at her, "I'm not eating that."
"I might be able to last awhile before I have to eat," Bella informed, "But you are gonna have to eat at least 3 times a day. You better start tasting human food."
"Oh Bella, no." Edward sounded disgusted, "This stuff is pure sugar, processed and sprayed with chemicals in a filthy factory. How about eggs instead?"
Bella laughed, "Do you know where EGGS come from? A chicken's ASS."
"Let me try the cereal." Edward agreed after that.
"Good boy." Bella took the bowl, scooping a spoonful of the puffs and bringing it to his mouth. He looked so scared.
"Close your eyes." She suggested, "Just try one bite and if you don't like it, I'll make you eggs."
"Okay." He said, closing his eyes, it sounded reasonable enough.
He opened his mouth, clenching his fists under the table. The cold milk hit his tongue first, then the round crunchy balls of cereal next. He closed his mouth,just letting the food sit there a moment.
"Chew it." Edward heard his own voice say to him. He obeyed, moving his teeth up and down, the crunching sounds in his ears.
"Swallow." Edward's voice giggled, Bella watching.
"How was it ?" Bella asked when Edward opened his eyes. She was cringing, afraid of what his reaction would be to the food he always seemed to hate.
"That. Was…" Edward began with a low voice, looking so repulsed.
"AWESOME !" he shouted, smiling from ear to ear as Bella looked back, in shock.
"Really?" she asked, making Edward's face look aghast.
"REALLY" Edward grabbed the bowl from Bella and the spoon, scooping more cereal into his mouth, his cheeks full on each side as he crunched and chewed.
"I love the sound of it when I chew…" he mumbled as he ate, "And it's SO GOOD, why didn't you tell me ?"
"What's that taste?" Edward asked before she could answer.
"Chocolate." Bella smiled, watching him enjoy it, "I like seeing you eat. Even though I'm watching ME eat, kind of."
"I know." Edward said, still chewing, "Every time I look at you, I hate seeing my face looking back at me."
Alice came hurrying back in with the rest of her brothers and sisters in tow and laughed as she watched Edward eating.
"Sorry, Edward, I had to see this." Alice informed, Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett looking on in slight jealousy.
"It's SO delicious." Edward couldn't be mad right now, finishing the bowl, drinking the chocolate milk down by lifting the bowl to his lips, slurping it up.
"I mean it !" he looked at them, taking the opened box and pouring cereal right into his waiting mouth, filling it up.
"Uh, Edward, not too much at once, you could choke." Bella coached from the sidelines.
"I can't stop, it's too incredible!" he muttered, chewing at the same time, saying to Alice, "Hey, get me some more food from the pantry, bring everything over here to the table."
"Hey, at least he's not yelling at us anymore." Alice shrugged, doing as he asked.
"Wish I had these when I was alive." Edward said, getting another huge mouthful of cereal, chomping on it, closing his eyes, having the time of his life.
"Let me try something." Bella was afraid to get her hands near his mouth, taking a small handful of Cocoa Puffs, getting a look from him.
She put the handful of puffs into her own mouth now, chewing, remembering the good taste it had been once. But now – it was truly horrible ! It tasted like bugs and Bella quickly put a hand to her mouth, running to the sink, spitting the cereal bits out in agony.
"Hey !" Edward scolded, "I could've eaten those!"
"I knew it." Bella stood, coming back to the table, "I hate them now. They were so disgusting to me just then. It must be because I'm a vampire. Human food repulses me."
"You're not a vampire." Edward frowned, still eating, seeing the food Alice was placing on the table, taking a handful of Doritos, sticking them in the right side of his mouth along with the dry Cocoa Puffs, chewing them at the same time, mumbling, "Stop saying that."
"If you can eat, you're a human." Bella informed, "At the moment, I am a vampire."
"Hey!" Alice sat up in her seat at the table, "Bella can come hunt with us !"
"NO !" Edward shouted, three Cocoa Puffs flying out of his mouth.
Bella and Alice giggled as he quickly moved his hand to collect the fallen three puffs and stuffed them back into his full mouth again.
"I don't really need to, Alice." Bella shook her head, knowing Edward would never let her do it, "Edward fed last week and I feel perfectly fine. I'm not thirsty."
"You don't need Edward's permission." Alice informed, smirking at him, "He's a weak little human now, you're a strong, superhuman vampire. He can't stop you anymore. You can lock him in a closet and do whatever you want."
"HEY !" Edward shouted at her as he finished the Cocoa Puffs, moving onto a box of Cocoa Krispies, tearing the box open like an animal.
"Hey Edward" Bella frowned, "Manners? Those boxes have tabs – you can't just claw the box open."
"This cereal TALKS to you?" Edward read the box as he poured the cereal in, drinking the milk from the carton, listening as the krispies snapped, crackled, and popped. His eyes went wide, fascinated.
"How long are you going to let him eat before you stop him?" Alice asked, curious, watching Edward with laughter in her eyes.
"Oh, he's so cute I don't have the heart." Bella grinned, watching him find the hershey's syrup.
"This is chocolate, too." He read the label, opening it and holding it over his mouth, squeezing it hard, the dark chocolate syrup filling his mouth and swirled a bit over his lips.
"JESUS" Edward's eyes went large, licking the syrup off his lips, "That's AMAZING! It's the same consistency as blood…only BETTER ! Have you tried this, Bella ?" he held up the syrup to her mouth.
"I've tried it all." Bella smiled, putting her hands up, refusing any of it right now.
"Edward is so lucky. I wish I could get a turn, being in Bella." Alice pouted, getting a look from everyone.
"You guys have such dirty minds." Alice sneered back at them.
"What's this?" Edward grabbed the next thing on the table, "Whipped cream."
"Hey that better not have come from MY room, Alice!" Emmett perked up, watching Edward push the nozzle, the familiar sound in the air as whipped cream filled Edward's chocolate syrup lips.
"Oh man." Bella watched, getting annoyed now, "Edward !"
"What ?" he asked innocently, tearing open a box of oreo cookies.
"I'd better not gain any weight, Edward." Bella heard herself say with his voice, a touch of venom there.
"Oh stop, you're a rail." Edward was about to pour five oreos into his mouth but Alice stopped him.
"WAIT" she shouted, "I saw this on TV. You can't eat them whole for some reason. You have to break them apart and eat the white stuff out first."
"Why?" Edward asked, squinting.
"I don't know, but you have to…or I think it's poisonous." Alice guessed, showing him, taking a cookie.
"You take the two black pieces and break them apart." She instructed, putting the cream middle part to his mouth, "Now lick the white part."
Bella covered her Edward lips, not wanting to smile in front of him, not wanting to stop this.
Edward licked the cream part out, going,"MMMMMM". Then Alice gave him the black cookie pieces.
"Now you eat the cookie part." She informed.
"After I just licked my saliva all over it ?" he asked, still Edward through and through.
"Yea." Alice said.
"No." he threw the cookie parts on the table, "I'll just eat the white part."
"You can't!" Alice shouted, "It's against the rules !"
"Cookies don't have rules." Edward argued.
"Yes they do, watch the commercials once in awhile." She looked scared.
"Leave me alone, I'm the one eating this, let me do it my way." Edward sounded like a little kid, not wanting his sister interfering in his fun. Bella laughed out loud.
"What's so funny ?" Edward looked at her.
"Nothing." She licked her lips, "I just can't wait until you have to go to the bathroom."
"Oooh." Alice put her hands up, "I'm not helping you there, brother."
They all laughed together as Edward's eyes looked frightened suddenly, but that only slightly curbed his eating binge.
"Hey Edward." Emmett felt it was safe now to tease his brother.
"What Clusterfuck?" Edward heard himself say in Bella's voice, still chewing.
"How does it feel to have nice, firm BREASTS?" Emmett roared in laughter, making Edward blush in Bella's face. They all laughed, seeing it happen, even Bella had to chuckle.
Looking down at himself, Edward blushed more.
"STOP IT !" he growled, "That's Bella's body you're staring at !"
"Not right now.", Emmett raised both eyebrows up a few times at the girl face Edward wore, "It's yours."
Edward stopped in mid chew to scowl at him in response.
"You are truly the lowest life form on earth, you know that?" Edward asked in utter distaste.
"God, I was just joking." Emmett looked insulted now, "You know, that's why I played this prank on you, man, cause you're always looking down on me."
"I do not." Edward argued, taking a mallomar into his mouth, moaning at the wonderful taste of chocolate and marshmallow combined.
"You DO !" Emmett pointed out, "Even when Rosalie and I are having some private time, you're always there to voice your virginal little opinion. When you have sex someday, maybe I'll be there to ruin it for YOU."
"No I'm smarter than that." Edward didn't look afraid, "I'll take Bella somewhere on the other side of the world, far from you and every other life form."
"Sex is nothing to be ashamed of, Ed." Emmett informed patiently, "You don't have to hide !"
"Sex and food at the same time." Alice observed, "Edward is truly in paradise."
"Alright, enough sex talk. I'm trying to eat." Edward's cheeks were filled with mallomars, getting a definite frown from Bella now as he licked his fingers.
"What ?" Edward looked at Bella, seeing his own face stare coldly back at him.
"I can see my thighs blowing up from HERE!" Bella yelled from her vampire body, "Don't make me stop you from eating anymore. Now you're just being a glutton."
"You're going to stop me?" he asked, not believing it.
"You're gonna make yourself sick if you don't stop soon." Bella informed, "This isn't like when you hunt. Small portions. You're gonna get a stomach ache."
"But Bella, everything is so good!" he looked around the table, "I haven't even tried anything at that end of the table !"
"You can eat again a little later." Bella stood up, hoping he came along willingly.
"No." he said like an unruly child.
"Edward." Bella's voice turned strict, "I listen to you all the time. Now I'm telling you something I know about. Stop stuffing yourself…now."
"Bella…" he almost whined.
"Okay, have it your way." Bella decided to use her strength to her advantage. Being very very careful so she wouldn't hurt him, she came around behind the chair and laced her arms gently around it and Edward's waist, lifting them up into her arms.
"No Bella, don't !" Edward struggled as she moved him in his chair out of the kitchen and into the living room, Edward's girl screams echoing through the house.
"BELLA PLEASE !!" he roared, hating it that he wasn't as strong as she anymore, "Put me DOWN !"
"I'm just doing this for your own good." Bella sat the chair down softly, holding his shoulders firmly, looking down into his eyes, "How would you like me drinking blood until I'm sick ?"
"I'm sorry." Edward gave in, realizing maybe the food had gotten the best of him, "Everything was just so good."
"I know." Bella kissed his lips, giggling a bit, it was like kissing herself, "It's okay, I understand. Food is wonderful. But you have to relax. Too much food can really make you sick. I'll make you something really nice for dinner tonight, okay ?"
"Yea ?" he asked hopefully.
"Of course, I always wanted to cook you a nice dinner, now I can." She smiled, "Now I want you to come outside with me."
"For what ?"
"I want to go vampire running." She informed, racing outside like a blur of light.
See next chapter soon