Post-Destroyer. As usual, DC owns all.
Batman sat in front of the giant screens of the Monitor Womb, his fingers flying over the keys. When something spontaneously popped up on the screen (this happened sometimes, what with the several memos and announcements floating through Justice League cyberspace), he immediately clicked escape without looking at it. The intrusive bulletin didn't disappear as it should have, so he clicked escape again. Still, it remained. Now he was irritated. His eyes scanned the top line of text involuntarily. They read "Justice League Holiday Party" in giant red letters.
"WALLY!!!" he bellowed at the top of his lungs.
Meanwhile, a large group of heroes crowded around a flyer taped to the wall of the cafeteria.
"Oh no he didn't!" exclaimed Shayera, folding her arms in front of her chest.
"He never stops, does he?" said John. "Bruce is gonna kill him."
The sign on the wall read:
Justice League Holiday Party
7 pm in the Watchtower
Lots of food and lots of dancing
Mandatory for anyone who calls themself a hero
PS – No one can use the excuse that they don't celebrate Christmas, this is a Holiday party. I mean you, Al, it's the third night of Hanukkah and you're lighting the menorah.
Atom Smasher let out a very audible grunt before exiting the cafeteria.
"Who knows, it could be fun!" suggested Stargirl. She always did love a good party. "I wonder what the dress code is?"
Before anyone could answer her question, Flash's voice rang through the intercoms.
"As you all may have noticed, several flyers have been posted around the Watchtower about the upcoming holiday party. All League members are invited, as well as their plus ones if catch my drift," he said happily. "The more the merrier, I say! And Linda would kill me if she didn't get to come. Anyways, there's going to be--" A shuffling sound was heard and the Batman's voice replaced Flash's.
"There will be no holiday party," he asserted. A few disappointed sighs came from the heroes.
Flash's voice came back over the intercom. "Come on, Bats! Alfred's agreed to cook!"
"You're using my butler as a catering service?" growled the dark knight.
"He thinks it's a great idea. So does Superman. Oh and Nightwing, too. He's gonna take over your Gotham patrol that night so you can come to the party! What do ya know?"
"That's too bad, because I've already booked a DJ for the dance party…and paid for it with your credit card. Non-refundable."
Another, more violent shuffling sound was heard, followed by an audible whoosh, which signified Flash's speedy exit. The intercom clicked off.
Batman stormed out of the transmitting station. "Clark!" he growled into his commlink.
"What is it?" asked the Man of Steel happily. A little too happily, thought Batman.
"Did you authorize this holiday party?"
"Oh, come on Bruce. It'll be fun!" said Clark.
"I don't have time or patience for fun." Superman paused on the other end of the commlink.
"You know, you're getting crankier the older you get. We're having a holiday party whether you like it or not."
"We are not having a party on the Watchtower."
"Yes we are. And you're going to be there."
"Maybe you didn't hear me clearly," snarled Batman, "No." Was he losing his touch?
"Why don't we put it to a vote?" Clark then contacted the other commlinks in the Watchtower. "Hey guys, all those in favor of a holiday party say 'aye.'" A deafening sound of 'ayes' was heard. "Alright then. All those in favor of making Batman go?" An even louder response of 'aye' followed. Batman was definitely losing his touch. "Looks like you're a bit outvoted, pal."
"You're absurd. I'm calling a founders meeting. Surely I won't be outvoted there." Batman was going to do everything he could to thwart this party.
Five minutes later, all seven founding members, including J'onn, sat around the circular table.
"Six to one, Bruce," said Superman seriously. Batman clenched his fists as tight as he could and rose from his seat, looking from face to face. Flash wore a smug grin, Clark's lips were threatening to pull into a smile, J'onn's face was contentedly serene, and both Shayera and John stared mockingly at the dark knight. Diana had her head cocked to the side, smirking widely at him.
"Traitors," he said angrily, before leaving the room. As the door closed behind him, a storm of laughter broke out. Bruce could make out all six of their individual laughs. They would pay for this.
Back in the conference room, the remaining six calmed down from their laughing fits. "Now that mister grumpy pants is gone, we can discuss the important things," said Flash.
"And what would those be?" questioned John.
"Planning the biggest party of the year, duh!"
"Y'know, I never pegged you for a party planner. I thought you just crashed them," teased Shayera. Wally stuck his tongue out at her.
"Whatever. Seriously though, guys. People are going to remember this party for years."
"Will we remember it in the morning?" pointed out Shayera slyly.
"Thanks, Shay. You've brought us to a very important point. Is anyone else thinkin' open bar?" grinned the speedster.
"We can't have alcohol!" butted in Clark.
"Why not, Boy Scout?" asked Flash.
"Because…because we just can't!" snapped the Man of Steel.
"Because some of us are underage?"
"Too bad Courtney turned twenty-one six months ago. She's the youngest. I did my research." Wally nodded triumphantly.
Superman opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He glared at Wally. "Should we start calling you Question now?"
"Nah, he still takes the cake. But speaking of him, are we doing masks or no masks? Everyone pretty much knows my secret identity, so I'm cool with flaunting the Wally," he said smugly.
"Yeah, 'cause Wally West is right up there in society with Bruce Wayne," snickered Shayera. Everyone but Flash burst into giggles.
"Very funny," glowered the speedster, folding his arms angrily. "I thought this could be a good team bonding experience, everyone out of costume. But apparently no one is taking this as seriously as I am."
"You don't think we get enough team bonding around here?" asked John.
"Sure, as heroes. But not as people." Each of them considered this. "And everyone knows everyone else's identity anyway. I mean, after the whole Cadmus thing, secret identities kinda went outta style…thanks to Vic," he added. "What a trend setter."
The heroes decided on various party details such as decorations, the menu, and which part of the Watchtower to use for the festivities.
"I have a few questions," said J'onn.
"What is it, big guy?" asked Flash.
"First, what is a plus one? I am not familiar with that term." Everyone at the table tried not to smile.
"Jane would be your plus one, J'onn," said Flash. "J'onn…plus one! Get it?"
J'onn pondered this for a moment. "Ingenious," he decided. "Jane does enjoy visiting the Watchtower. She finds this all most interesting."
"And you know you are both welcome whenever you like," said Diana happily to her friend. "We love her, too." J'onn smiled widely at her words.
"Thank you. And for my second question, will there be Oreos?" This time, no one tried to hide their smiles.
"It wouldn't be a party without Oreos," said Superman.
With that, Flash zoomed out of the room and back to the transmitting station. "Hey guys!" he said into the intercom. "Fastest man alive, here. Oh I like the sound of that…I should totally start my own radio broadcast. Why do I have the feeling Bats won't approve? Anyways, good news! Holiday party is a go, I repeat, holiday party is a go. The founding members, minus grumpy of course, thought it'd be cool if we went as our regular selves for a change, mix things up, ya know? You don't have to, of course, if it interferes with your superhero ego. Trust me, I know how important that is, being the Fastest Man Alive. But I guess I'm more mature now than I used to be," he said with a sigh. Every League member paying attention rolled their eyes. "Other things are important too. So I'll be going as Wally. And hey, maybe a bat will transform into a vampire--I mean, into a Bruce Wayne!" He snickered into the intercom. "What'd'ya say, Bats? Ditch the cape and come as the playboy. Everyone'll have more fun that way. Well, I think I hear Batfootsteps coming this way. Better jet. Exit Flash, stage left!"
To be continued…….