My love for you all is never ending. Thank you for the reviews, keep them coming. BTW, this will not be a 'druggie-Bella' fic, don't let certain aspects of it confuse you. ALSO! I nixed my 'only Bella's POV' idea already. I love Edward's POV too much


Slowly, with exact precision, I snorted a line of blow.

I'd have to thank Jane later for giving me this. I shifted my weight to one side, waiting to soak up the sensation. Only moments passed before I finally felt it. I was numb.

I hate druggies.

Yet, here I am doing drugs. I guess you could say that's kind of ironic? Or more so, a double standard. But I'm not like those druggies. I'm not addicted to drugs. I don't like to do drugs. In fact, I hate that too. But I have to. You couldn't possibly understand my reasons, because you haven't lived my life. If you lived like me, even if just for a day, you'd be forced into this habit too. But that fact of the matter is, I doubt you live my life. Seeing as God thinks it's funny for only me to suffer through this hell.

It's been years since I had my first taste. Probably seven or eight years. Back then, I was worse about doing them. Back then, I couldn't handle this lifestyle. I still cried back then, every single night. I was still shy back then. I didn't know that it only got worse. But I learned, quickly. So, I learned to deal with the pain. The drugs made me feel better at first, but only for a little while. Like right now, it couldn't be more than fifteen minutes later and already I'm coming down. At first, I knew nothing about this. I'd only do more to keep this numbness alive. I'd rather be high, risking my life, then aware of my surroundings. But it didn't last long. You see, druggies are the worst kind of hookers. They smell, they have no idea what's going on, they're unreliable, and worst of all...they can't fuck for shit. Or at least that's what Aro and Marcus say. I wouldn't know, having never had sex with a drugged up hooker.

I can stop doing them any time I want to. But at this point, I don't want to.

My life doesn't have a distinct history. Things have just happened over the years and I've gotten used to them. I have a good habit of blocking out most of it, only remembering little. My life had very little good things in it. My parents died over fifteen years ago. Aro found me, alone and scared lying in an alley. Now I am here, working for him. But that's a long story that I hate to go into.

"Bella," I let out a groan before wiping my nose and rolling onto my side. If they wanted to come in, they would. It's not like they didn't have a key. I heard a soft knock, but did not respond. The sound of a key turning in the lock was easy enough to catch and then I saw the hall light spill into my room and splash the wall I was facing. I closed my eyes, banishing the light.

"It's just me," Jane said softly, sinking down next to me on the bed.

It hadn't sounded like her.

Maybe I was still high.

"Are you okay?" I didn't answer. Instead, I rolled back to face her. She actually cringed. "Oh my god. Have you seen yourself recently?"

Did I look that bad? I guess I wasn't really that aware of myself at this point. I shook my head no, unwilling to speak. She sighed and got up, sweeping across my room and into the adjoining bathroom. She returned only a moment later with a mirror clutched firmly in her hand. She thrust it into my own and forced me to look. I cringed as well. I did look that bad.

It was my job to look beautiful. I had to be physically attractive for the company's clients. Right now, I was the farthest thing from attractive. Shit, I wasn't even close to being decent. My usually long, silky brown hair was now strewn all about my face, stringy and full with dirt. Naturally I had fair skin, but today my face was paler than a ghost. My eyes were dilated to no end, while there were large purple rings beneath them. My lips were chapped and my cheeks were swollen. Everything about me looked ghastly. Quickly I tossed the mirror away from me.

"Did you honestly intend on going to the party looking like that tonight?" She said her voice full with disgust and annoyance. I shrugged, not really caring about that fucking party right now. I was in the middle of being numb. She knew my plans. Fuck, she made my plans! Why did she insist of coming in here and ruining them?

"Ew Bella," I didn't think she could sound more disgusted, but obviously I was wrong. "You know Aro will have a shit fit if you don't clean up."

"And you care why?" I finally snapped, completely aggravated by her presence.

She was not wavered by my glare; instead she merely tossed a strand of blonde hair over her shoulder before moving on. "Because it's not fair!"

"What's not fair?" Yup, my high was fucking gone. My forehead was slightly damp and my hands felt shaky. I hated this part.

"You always get the best clients and the most time to yourself and yet you act like this! You bitch, you moan, you're always high," she shouted, all in my face. I wasn't afraid of her. She knew this much, yet she continued to put on a little show and attempt to scare me. "Mean while, I do everything for Aro. I take all the gross, shitty clients, I dress the best, I fuck the best, I do everything the best, and yet Aro gives you it all. If I acted like you for one second, I'd be gone faster than you can say blow."

I was absolutely livid at this point. She thinks I want this? She thinks she knows my life? Well, this bitch knows nothing. I clapped my hands together for her, impressed by the show. "Wow Jane, nice performance. You know, it was so good I almost believed you. Now, if you're done throwing a bitch fit over absolutely nothing, I was in the middle of something."

"What's so horrible about your life? What makes you any more miserable than the rest of us?" Jane was tearing now and I actually felt a slight pang of guilt. Had I done that? I didn't mean to. It's just...well, she really doesn't know when to leave a person alone. "We're all stuck here Bella! All of our lives suck too! You're not alone."

"I know," I mumbled, more to myself than to her. It was true. I acted as if I was the only one suffering, yet there were eleven others who lived here with me. I was far from being alone, yet I wallowed in my own misery. When I could, I cried the loudest. I bitched the longest. Hell, I was the biggest fucking drama queen whenever possible. Yet, I claim to be the one who hates it the most. When had it come to this? When did I change?

No tears would come to me, despite how much I felt like crying. Jane scooted closer to me on the bed, wrapping her arms around me pulling me up into a sitting position. She cried on my shoulder, yet she comforted me more than I did for her. "You should get ready," she reminded me after a long while of silence.

"I guess I better," I agreed, having tried to forget about tonight.

"I'll get your stuff ready, shower and then we'll do your hair," she said, a little twinkle in her eyes. She was just like every other girl, absolutely in love with getting 'done up.' That was just another thing I hated to do.

We pulled apart and I slowly made my way across the room. My assignment sheet was tossed on top of my dresser, next to my diet pills. I picked it up, wondering what I was exactly going to do. It was then that I noticed this wasn't really an assignment sheet, but more of a note. I guess I wasn't worthy enough for the real thing.


This is a 21st birthday party, the birthday boy is Edward Cullen and the party planner is his brother, Emmett Cullen. You were specifically picked by Emmett for this party, so serve him well, he's paying a lot of money (that I'll never see, I thought as I scanned the rest). We have a cake set up for you, you're supposed to do a strip tease, and lap dances. Also, anything the birthday boy asks, you must do. Got it? Good. If you mess up again, I swear to God you're on your ass. We won't let you keep fucking things up around here.


His threat was useless. They said that all the time, yet here I am. Still living in this awful house. Still doing their dirty work. They'd never get rid of me. I knew too much.

I didn't dawdle in the bathroom. In this house, all the bathrooms connected. Which meant, at any given moment, someone else could be in the bathroom with me. When I was younger, I made the mistake of showering late at night. I barely remember it, having spent so long trying to forget, but let's just say too many people were in one shower. When I walked in, only two showers were running. I didn't dare look to see who it was, fearing one of the wards were waiting for one of us girls to take a shower. I hopped into the shower, clothes on, and ran the water. I would take my clothes off back in my room.

As soon as I was done, I practically flew back to my room with no interruption. I stripped and threw on a dry t-shirt to wear while Jane fixed me up. Jane was thrilled with my promptness and proceeded to do my hair. I sat at the vanity, idly playing with my fingernails. This was nice. Jane was silent as she curled my brown locks, minus the slight humming she did every so often, and I couldn't help but enjoy her company. It was as if our earlier argument had never occurred. She was letting me be off in my own little world, no interruptions. She knew, probably all to well, how much it hurt to think about our lives. If i just pretended tonight was my own choice, then I would be okay. If I just pretended that this Edward guy was my boyfriend, then doing all these things tonight would be special. We would be bonding on such a level that words would be unable to reach us. Memories would not cloud my judgment.

But things weren't as simple as that.

He wasn't my boyfriend. Fuck, I've never even met the guy. I am just some cheap stripper his brother hired for a good night. I am nothing more than a present to this guy. I havea money value. I am not priceless , like they say true love is, and I would never be told that I was. I'm worthless, that's all I will ever be.

"Hurry up and change, " I gave her a look but Jane just shrugged. "Aro and Marcus will be here any minute to escort you out," Jane dumped my clothes into my lap. I stared up at her for a long moment before standing.

I pulled all the clothes without even glancing at what they were. By the time I was finished, I had just enough time to look into to the mirror to see I was dressed up like 40's pin-up girl. How cute. A themed party. How old is this guy? 7?


I was pretty positive, not 100% but 99.9%, that my brother was throwing me a surprise party.

I wouldn't put it past the big guy, he loves to party. But he is the worst at keeping secrets. Ever since I can remember, I've known not to trust Emmett with a secret. His mouth, like the rest of him, is just too big to keep something so little. He feels a need to tell everyone everything all the time. So, I've got to give it to him for not just straight out telling me about this party.

He hasn't done the best job covering his tracks though. Seeing as we share an apartment, it's kind of hard for him. You see, three or four weeks back, I walked in a found him in his room with this huge list and he was on the phone. I couldn't tell what it was at first, but after a little bit of detective work I found out it was an RSVP list. Also, he's left tons of receipts lying around that come from the party store down town. I may be doing a lot of digging around, but that's not all that I've found out. I was checking our voicemail a few days back and The Cocktail Hour called, making a time slot reservation.

Okay, so I am 100% positive this is a surprise party for me. Today is my 21st birthday, a day which, according to Emmett 'will go down in history.' He made sure I took off from work and had absolutely no plans, but refuses to tell me where we're going. I've asked Rose, his long-term girlfriend, and my sister Alice what he has up his sleeve, but the girls claim to know nothing. This is surely a lie, because my sister is in everyone's business and Rose won't let Emmett buy a soda without questioning him, let alone by all these party supplies.

"Hey there birthday boy," Emmett boomed as I entered the kitchen.

I gave him a curt wave before pulling the fridge door open. I scanned it contents quickly and frowned. We had nothing to eat. I turned to see Emmett digging into a plate of eggs, bacon, toast, and pancakes. I frowned at him. "You left me nothing?"

He grinned through his food, "Oops."

"Perfect way to start off my birthday," I slammed the door shut and made my way back to my room. I didn't take long changing. I was back out in ten minutes, keys in hand and money in my wallet. "I'm going to head to store and pick up some breakfast on my way."

"I'll tag along," Emmett clapped his hands together, already done with his food. "I'm still pretty hungry."

I only shrugged, knowing all too well how true Emmett was when it came down to eating.

The day passed me by in a haze. By the time I knew it, I was in the car with Emmett on our way to see 'a movie.' I could tell by the route we were taking, we were really on our way to Jasper and Alice's house. I gave him credit though for trying to trick me. After a few minutes of silence, I turned to him and tried to act it up.

"Soooo," I drawled, "What movie are we seeing again?"

"Twilight," he shot back quickly. What the hell? That's such a click-flick.

"What time again, I was thinking about asking Alice to meet us there with Jazz," I said as I pulled my cell phone out, ready to text my sister.

"7:45," his eyes never left the road, "We're picking them up right now, no need to call them."

Nice save. "Okkayyyy," I stalled, trying to think of how to break him. "What is this movie about?"

But as I was in the middle of speaking, Emmett turned the radio on…loud. He tuned me out for the rest of the car rise, even when I turned the radio off and questioned him. It was obvious I knew about the party and Emmett hadn't been expecting that. When we pulled into Alice's driveway, Emmett quickly unbuckled himself.

"I just need to grab something from inside, I'll be right back," and he was gone before I even had a chance to reply. Damn, he was good at avoiding me.

How was it? Everyone like Edwards' POV? Well, I do and that's what matters! I hope…anyway, please review and let me know. Next chapter…Bella and Edward interaction!